Danny Day Care
by Kate McCaye
Summary: Daniel gets turned into a very small child. Yes, it is one of those. It’s got SamDaniel friendship, JackDaniel friendship, some SJ. Mostly Teamfic, but Danielcentered… and Samcentered at the same time, if that’s possible.
1. The Trouble with Trunks

-1Title: Danny Day Care

Author: Kate McCaye

Rating: K+

Category: General/Humor

Pairing: S/J UST

Summary: Daniel gets turned into a very small child. Yes, it is one of those. It's got Sam/Daniel friendship, Jack/Daniel friendship, S/J pretty much in line with the show. I'd say it's generally Teamfic, but I suppose it's sort of Daniel-centered… and Sam-centered at the same time, if that's possible…

A/N: Here it is. The first SG-1 story I ever wrote… well, not counting the truly horrible X-Files/SG-1 crossover I never even bothered to finish. Let's see, I wrote this when season 7 was in its original run, which is when I started watching SG-1 in the first place. At the time, I didn't realize how popular shrinking some or all of SG-1 was in fanfic. Anyway, when I realized how many variations of the same basic idea are out there, I never posted this one, especially because the shippiness is basically consistent with the show. In deciding to post it now, to get around that on a technicality, I've stuck in the name of Sam's cat from my "Birthday Traditions" series… so, if you want to, you can pretend this story takes place some time before the end of that series.

Also, this story is quite long, so rather than post it in one big messy clump, I'm going to try to proofread a chapter a day in case there are any obvious errors, since I think I'd only seen about half the episodes when I wrote it. I'm not very fond of the title, but it didn't have one and that was the first thing that came into my head when I was posting, so there it is. I do, however, quite like the ending.

Thanks for reading and reviewing, as always.

Ch 1

Jack O'Neill leaned back in his chair and rubbed his face with his hands, letting out an impatient growl. Across the briefing room table, Sam Carter shifted in her seat, knowing full well he was about to explode.

Teal'c, seated next to O'Neill, looked as calm as ever. And at the head of the table, General Hammond was quickly losing his patience as well. He had a very full day ahead of him, Dr. Jackson's briefing was only the first item on a very crowded schedule. He did not appreciate being made to wait.

"OHFERCRYINOUTLOUD!" Jack finally yelled. Only Carter reacted, wincing at his outburst, although she had been waiting for it for the past eleven... twelve minutes. "It's not enough he's got to schedule a boring briefing for 08.00, he can't even be bothered to show up for it!"

"Major Carter, when was the last time you spoke to Dr. Jackson?" Hammond asked.

"Last night, sir. Just after 20.00. He was in his lab, trying to read the object brought back by SG12."

"The trunk thing?" Jack asked.

"Yes, sir," Carter confirmed.

"Has anybody seen him since then?" Hammond asked the rest of SG1.

"No, sir," Jack responded.

"I have not," Teal'c added.

"Very well. Somebody go see if he's still in there working. It's possible he lost track of time. Again."

"Oh please let me, General," Jack asked, getting to his feet eagerly.

Hammond nodded.

Carter jumped to her feet and said, "Sir, I'll go with you." She and Daniel often had to stick up for each other; they each had the bad habit of losing track of time in their respective labs, forgoing things like dinner and sleep, although unlike Daniel, Carter always managed to remember to be on time for meetings. Then again, she knew how to program the alarm on her watch, and Daniel couldn't be bothered with it. Plus he said the little buttons were too hard to push.

"I'm not going to hurt him, Carter," Jack commented as they hurried to the elevator to go to Daniel's lab.

"Yes, sir. But that... trunk... is just Daniel's type of thing. Did you look at it, sir? It's completely non-technological, made of ancient, petrified wood, but we can't determine how it was constructed... it's seamless."

"Carter, please, as much as I prefer hearing you speak to Danny-boy, he's going to be telling us all the exact same thing in a few minutes anyway."

"Yes, sir," she said in that slightly confused way that conversing with the Colonel often elicited - she was fairly certain there was a compliment in there somewhere, but it was hard to find.

They hurried down the corridor to Daniel's lab and let themselves in.

"DANIEL! WAKE UP! YOU'VE GOT HAMMOND AND EVERYBODY WAITING FOR YOUR DAMN BORING LECTURE SO GET YOUR ASS UP!" Jack barked as they entered the darkened lab, lit only by a few lamps on the bookshelves.

"Sir, I don't think he's in here," Carter commented as she flicked on the lights. Her statement was almost completely drowned out by the sudden loud crying sounds coming from the middle of the room.

The lab was noticeably devoid of any six-foot tall archaeologists, although it would have been possibly even stranger if Daniel had been the source of the noise anyway. However, sitting up from where he had been sleeping on the metal workstation, draped in a green BDU shirt, was a very small little boy, wailing at the top of his lungs.


	2. Meeting Danny

-1Ch 2

"Whoa, what the hell!" Jack asked, poking his fingers in his ears and turning to Carter automatically for an explanation.

"I have no idea, sir," Carter said, going over to the little boy, who was really scarcely more than a baby.

He was 'wearing' a standard black tee-shirt, but it was barely staying on his tiny shoulders and she knew if he stood up, it would be much longer than he was. His face was bright red and he was screaming, obviously terrified. Carter had a pretty good idea what had scared him: the man standing next to her with his fingers in his ears. She supposed it was confusing and scary enough to wake up on a cold metal table in the middle of a cluttered lab all alone, much less with a stranger yelling obscenities.

"It's okay," she tried awkwardly, not quite sure what to do. She had been around Cassie tons of times, but this child was so very small, and she only saw her niece and nephew, who were older now as well, in the company of one or both of their parents.

"Ohfercryinoutloud," Jack muttered, moving to pick the kid up himself. The boy screamed even louder and launched himself into Carter, who caught him awkwardly, surprised. He buried his face in her chest, his sobs muffled by her shirt, which she could already feel getting damp with what she hoped were mostly tears rather than snot.

"I must have scared him," Jack said quietly, feeling guilty. He rubbed the little boy's back while Carter rocked him slightly, not knowing what else to do.

"It's okay... let's just look around and try to figure out where you came from, okay?"

"Well, Carter, when a mom and dad really love each other and want to be close..." Jack started sarcastically.

Carter shot him a look and he swallowed. "Right. Maybe now's not the time," Jack agreed, looking around. For the first time, they noticed an adult-sized pair of BDU trousers pooled at the foot of the stool next to the table, as well as a pair of boxers, socks, and boots.

"Okay, does this mean that wherever Daniel is he's running around naked?" Jack asked.

The little boy's sobbing calmed down, but he still cuddled into Carter, wrapping his little arms as far around her as they would go.

She looked down at him and stroked his hair, which was quite long and thick for a boy. Light brown with tons of golden highlights, it looked like this kid played in the sun a lot.

Finally, the kid lifted his head and looked up, blinking slowly at Carter. "Oh my God," Sam said in disbelief as she looked down into his face. With his eyes open and his face not scrunched up in tears... Getting more than a little panicked, she called, "Sir!"

The alarm in her voice made Jack move very fast, quickly manoeuvring behind her so he could see the kid. "Whoa, he looks kinda like..." Jack started.

"Daniel," she agreed.

Hearing his name, the little boy smiled and poked himself in the chest. "Danny," he said proudly.

"Oh my God," Sam repeated.

"Danny," he repeated, poking himself again. He poked Carter carefully and said, "Name."

"S-Sam."

"Sam," he repeated carefully, with a scarily familiar look of concentration on his face as he made his tiny mouth form the word.

"Yes. Um, how old are you, Danny?"

"Two," he said, showing her two fingers, wet from crying. He turned his attention to Jack and said, "Who dat?"

"That's ah... that's Jack," Sam said.

"Dack scaaa-wy," Danny said, his huge blue eyes going impossibly wider.

Sam had to laugh. He was so cute. Jack groaned and said, "Carter, is this... possible?"

"Apparently. I don't know, we need to get him to Dr. Fraiser, but... he certainly looks a lot like..."

Both froze as the little boy sneezed loudly, all over the front of Carter's shirt.

"It's him," they both said, as Sam looked down at the front of her shirt, now covered with tears and sneezes, and made a sickened face. Babies were so messy.

Jack grabbed some Kleenex and tried to wipe up the kid a little bit, but he apparently wanted no part of that or of Jack. Squirming in Carter's arms, he said, "No, no, no, no!" until Jack finally gave up and went over to the phone to call General Hammond, tell him the meeting was cancelled, and ask him to meet them in the infirmary.

"Dack scawy," Danny repeated to Sam as they both watched the Colonel on the phone.

"He's not really scary, he didn't know you were in here," Sam tried to explain, shifting him awkwardly in her arms.

"Sam."

"What?"

"Sam."

"What?" she asked a bit more impatiently, trying to figure out what he wanted.

"He just likes you, Carter," Jack called, still on the phone. He hung up and said, "Doc wants to see him right away, of course. And Hammond wants us to lock up Daniel's lab until we can get a protected team in here to try and figure out what caused this... but I'm guessing it has something to do with that damn trunk."

"Okay, come on, Danny, we're going to go see Dr. Fraiser," Sam told him.

His eyes widened and he said, "No! Doctor hurts Danny!"

"Hey, maybe I'll get along better with him like this," Jack commented.

Sam sighed and said, "Maybe you'd like to carry him then, sir... I could get out of this shirt..."

"Carter, please, not in front of the child!" Jack exclaimed. She glared and he could tell she wasn't exactly in a joking mood. Actually, she looked like she was about a second away from panicking about this whole thing. He quickly said, "Sure, I'll take the little guy. But when he's big again don't tell him I carried him around. Come here, little buddy."

He reached for the kid, but apparently Danny was much more comfortable with Sam, at least for the moment. He buried his face in her chest, refusing to look at Jack, and stuck his thumb in his mouth.

"Sorry, Carter, he looks like he's made up his mind. Can't say I blame him. Come on, you can get cleaned up while the doc does her thing."

They exited Daniel's lab and Jack swiped his key card and entered the code to lock it down for the time being.

"I don'like doc-tors," Danny said in a very small voice as they headed down the corridor to the elevator.

"Oh, you'll like this one," Jack commented.

"She's really nice, and she'll be very gentle with you," Sam tried.

"Sam stay?"

"Sure, I'll stay with you," Sam promised, rubbing his little back through the shirt that was functioning more like a blanket.

"Dack too?" he asked, looking over at Jack.

Jack and Sam looked at each other in surprise. "Uh, sure, I'll stay with you," Jack said.

"Dack be scawy to da doctor," Danny suggested. "She will leave me 'lone."

Sam laughed. Jack grumbled something about being made fun of by a two-year old. "This HAS to be him, Carter, no two year old thinks and talks like that."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Well, I don't know, you probably did. But most NORMAL kids... no."


	3. Infirmary Madness

-1Ch 3

General Hammond, Teal'c, and Dr. Fraiser were waiting for them in the infirmary, but none of them had been told what to expect. So when Colonel O'Neill and Major Carter entered, talking quietly to a little child held tightly in Major Carter's arms, nobody quite knew what to do.

"Er, well, I guess I'll just fill everyone in," Jack started. "Daniel's clothes are in his lab. So was this kid. He told us his name's Danny and he's two. And, ah, that's pretty much all we know. Oh, yeah, he's got an impressive set of lungs. And allergies."

"Al-er-bees," the little voice piped up. Danny turned his head so he could take in his new surroundings, still clinging to Sam.

Janet gasped when she saw his face. The boy was just too cute for words. Most of Janet's nurses had trouble with a fully grown Daniel and his soft blue eyes, but on a baby... forget it! "So, you think this IS Daniel Jackson?" Janet asked, already knowing the answer.

Sam and Jack both nodded.

Danny pointed to his tummy, said, "Me!" and then put his thumb back in his mouth.

"Just once," Dr. Fraiser said, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. "I would like for one of you to come to me with a NORMAL problem, something that modern medicine has encountered at least once before - the flu, a sinus infection, a headache, kidney stones, _anything._"

"You're wishing kidney stones on us, Doc?" Jack exclaimed. "What the hell?"

"Ummmmmm," Danny said solemnly, pointing at Jack.

Sam tried very hard not to laugh.

Hammond cleared his throat and said, "I have other business to attend to. I'll send a team to Dr. Jackson's office. Dr. Fraiser, let me know when you get your test results back."

"Yes, sir." Hammond turned to go.

"Bye-bye," Danny said, waving.

Hammond stopped, turned to smile at the little boy, chuckled, and said, "Bye, Danny."

Once the General had gone, Janet waved them over to an examination area. "Okay, Sam, set him down on the gurney."

"That's... easier said than done," Sam said after unsuccessfully trying to put him down.

"Sam! Doctor! Scawy!" Daniel objected loudly, clinging to her neck with surprising strength.

"Okay, this is why I'm not a pediatrician," Janet commented. "Sam, sit down and hold him in your lap. I'll do what I can like that first. You're going to have to take the shirt off of him first though, it's so huge I can't examine him."

"But... he doesn't have a diaper on!" Sam exclaimed. "He'll be naked! I can't hold Daniel, naked, on my lap!"

"Sam, he's just a baby," Janet said reasonably, grabbing a blanket. "Here, you can wrap him up in this."

They pulled the huge shirt over his head and Sam sat down with the little boy wrapped loosely in the blanket. "Cold," Danny said, glaring at Janet, clearly blaming her not only for the temperature of the room, but his state of nakedness, and anything she was about to do to him as well. All of it had to be her fault somehow.

Jack laughed at the look on the little boy's face and said, "That's about how I usually feel in here, buddy. It'll be over fast."

The examination was the exact opposite of fast. Daniel squirmed and twisted so much it was nearly impossible for Janet to do an accurate examination, and she wasn't even able to check his teeth, temperature, or get a blood sample after nearly twenty minutes. "Dack, be scawy! Scawe da doctor!" Danny pleaded. "Sam, Sam, save me!"

"It's okay," Sam soothed, pulling off the blanket he had managed to tangle himself in. "Janet, let's take a break for a little while," she suggested, wrapping him up in the blanket again once she had it untangled and holding him to her tightly.

_Well, that didn't take long, _Jack thought to himself. It had been fairly obvious his 2IC wasn't used to being around such a small child, but he had no doubt she'd figure it out quickly and take to it like a duck to water. Apparently she had, although Danny hadn't really given her much choice in the matter. He was clinging to her like a monkey to a tree, and wouldn't let anybody else near him.

Janet busied herself fixing the tray Danny had knocked about with his foot during the wrestling match/examination, giving Sam some space and time to get him calmed down.

"Hey, Carter, want me to go get you a fresh shirt? Looks like you might be here for a while," O'Neill offered.

She looked at him in surprise. "Thanks, that would be great, sir."

He waved at Danny and said, "Back soon."

"Dack?" Danny called after him.

"He'll be back," Sam told him absently, patting his back.

"Sam, maybe he'll let you take his temperature," Janet suggested. As Sam widened her eyes, Janet laughed and quickly said, "In his ear!"

Sam sighed with relief as she took the thermometer Janet was holding out. Holding "Danny" was one thing, but she wasn't about to go anywhere near him with an "old-fashioned" baby thermometer. She let the little boy examine the aural thermometer for a while and said, "Okay, can you be still while I put this in your ear for a few seconds? It won't hurt, I promise."

"Kay Sam. Put in ear," Danny agreed, nodding.

"He certainly seems to understand most of what we're saying," Janet commented.

Sam took his temperature, waited for it to beep, and read, "98.6."

"Hungwy," Danny announced to the room, looking back and forth between the two women expectantly.

"Well, as soon as we finish these tests with Janet we can go get some breakfast," Sam tried to explain.

"Someone say breakfast?" Jack asked, returning with a black tee-shirt in his hand.

"Dack, I hungwy," Danny told him.

"Well then that makes two of us, buddy. Doc, you almost done here?"

"Not even close, Colonel -" Janet began.

Janet and Jack both turned their attention to Sam and Daniel, who were having a quiet 'conversation.' "...Daniel, I realize that you don't want Janet to poke you with the needle, but it has to be done so we can make sure you're okay. It won't take long and it won't hurt very much, and then we can go have breakfast, all right?"

"Sam, he's not going to understand all of that..." Janet warned.

"Sam, scawed. Han."

"Huh?"

"Han! Han!"

Something clicked in Jack's brain and he said, "Give him your hand, Carter."

She held out her hand and Danny grabbed her finger tightly, squeezing it with all his might. He scrunched his face up and closed his eyes tightly. "Um, I guess that means he's ready," Sam said to Janet, holding him still with her other arm.

Jack started fiddling with some supplies while Janet checked his heart and breathing, and finally got him to open his mouth. "Judging by these teeth, I'd say he's about two and a half," she said, jotting down a few notes. "Okay, now comes the not-so-fun part. Sam, you're going to have to hold him very still."

Sam tensed involuntarily as she saw Janet getting ready to take his blood. Danny picked up on this and started pleading, "No no no no no."

Jack crouched down in front of him to try to distract him from Janet, making a face like a hamster. Danny stopped screaming and watched him. "She'll be done soon, don't think about her," Jack encouraged, pulling out two tongue depressors he had picked up. He made them into antennae and made another funny face, then put them in his mouth like walrus tusks and made a noise like a seal.

Danny laughed out loud, just as Janet put a plaster on his toe. "All done," she announced, ruffling his hair. She smiled down at the Colonel and said, "Excellent work, sir."

"Yeah, well..." Jack trailed off, getting to his feet. As he stood, he caught Carter's expression for the first time and froze. They held each other's gaze for several seconds, Jack surprised at the look she had been giving him, Sam surprised at the look he was giving her back.

Danny bounced in Sam's lap and said, "Hungwy, hungwy!" They both looked down at him.

"Er... I should go get changed," Sam said quickly, getting to her feet and adjusting the blanket around Danny. "Do you want to hold him, sir?"

"Yeah okay."

This time, Danny went to him, but he still turned in Jack's arms to watch Sam. "Where you go?"

"I'm just going around the corner to put on a fresh shirt," she assured him.

"She'll be right back," Jack added, bouncing him around a bit.

Sam ducked into another exam area, pulled the curtain round for privacy, and changed her shirt. As she was tucking it in and fastening her belt, she heard her CO yell, "Oh crap! CARTER! DOC! GET IN HERE!" followed by Danny giggling and saying, "Oops. Sowwy Dack."

Sam and Janet hurried back over to them and stopped in confusion. Everything appeared fine, Jack was still holding Danny to him tightly. "What's wrong, sir?" Sam finally asked. Jack held Danny out away from his body, and the two women could see that the front of Jack's shirt was now very wet, but the stain began significantly lower than it had on Carter's shirt.

"He PEED on me," Jack stated unnecessarily, trying to hand him to Sam, who stepped away instinctively and held up her hands.

"Carter, I am ORDERING you to take him. Now!" Sam took him, holding him by the armpits, as far away from her body as possible. The blanket, which was partially wet as well, fell to the ground. Danny looked supremely unconcerned at this new, exposed position. Jack turned to Janet and barked, "Well? You got a shirt lying around here or what?"

"Right," Janet said, quickly finding him a fresh shirt. She and Sam caught each other's eyes and they both burst out laughing.

"Hey!" Jack barked. "This does NOT leave this room. Until we fix him, he's big again, and I hurt him for this. Severely."

"Yes, sir," both women managed in between laughing.

"Carter, I told you not to giggle. That goes for you too, doc. Somebody get a diaper on that kid before he does any more damage."

"I'll send one of the nurses to the store for some supplies," Janet said. "In the meantime, I'm sure we can... fashion... something." Using several safety pins and coming very close to using a stapler as well, they managed to turn the tee-shirt he had been wearing into a crude diaper of sorts. "Why don't you take him to get something to eat, and by the time you're done with that, we should have some real diapers and things," Janet suggested. "I'm also going to send out an e-mail to everyone on the base, requesting any personnel with children who have outgrown anything we can use to bring what they can in next time they report in. I know, for instance, that Lieutenant Grey has a car seat."

"Fine. Let's go," Jack grumbled. He was still understandably upset about being peed on, and still grumpy about how hard Carter was still trying not to laugh.

"Dack scaaawy again," Danny said quietly as they headed for the elevator.

"Hey, you peed on me!" Jack argued.

"I sowwy." Daniel did, in fact, look very sorry. And cute. Jack hated to admit it, but it was true.

"You know, you seem pretty smart and all, so how come you're still wearing diapers anyway? Shouldn't you be trained by now?"

Danny looked at him blankly. "Wha?"

"Never mind," Jack muttered.

Carter was still laughing quietly to herself. She supposed it really shouldn't surprise her that her CO had the exact same dynamic with Daniel that he always did. Assuming, of course, that this was really their Daniel, although she really couldn't think of another explanation.


	4. Breakfast with an Audience

A/N: I'm really loving all your reviews, and loving the fact that you guys aren't minding all the cliches too terribly much. Your encouragement reminds me to get through another chapter before I go to bed everynight, although this story is done already, so unfortunately I can't incorporate any suggestions I get in reviews. That being said, this story uses so many fic cliches that what you'd like to see, you probably will see eventually. Thanks again, everyone!

Ch 4

Both Carter and O'Neill were so distracted by the drama that had unfolded in the infirmary that they weren't thinking about how other officers would react to their presence in the commissary with the little Daniel.

As it was, by the time they had made their way to the line and O'Neill had got trays for both of them, Carter picking Daniel up and settling him on one hip so he could see the food and tell them what he wanted, they had received more double takes than O'Neill would have guessed were possible in real life. And here he had been thinking people only did those on fifties sitcoms.

Then again, apart from the weirdness of arriving in the commissary early in the morning with a toddler, said toddler was drawing even more attention than usual, dressed in a tee-shirt folded into a diaper, giving him a bit of a wild-child, loincloth look. Jack only hoped the inadequate diaper wasn't 'used' during breakfast. Judging by the amount Daniel had already peed on him earlier though, the kid couldn't have anything left in him. Hopefully.

They loaded their trays with Daniel's usual favorites in addition to their own breakfasts, and made their way to their usual table, Jack balancing both trays carefully. "I'm guessing the commissary doesn't have high chairs," Carter muttered as they sat down.

"You don't mind holding him, do you?" Jack asked. The little boy clearly preferred Carter to him. He wondered if it was just because she was a woman, because she was nicer and hadn't yelled around him or anything, or if it was possible Daniel remembered things about their respective relationships.

"No, sir. It's kind of weird… because it's Daniel, you know… and it's not like I'm any good with babies but…"

"You seem like a natural to me," he said with a shrug, then immediately wished he hadn't. Not that it wasn't true - it was. But Jack spent a good portion of his time trying very hard _not _to think of Carter as a woman, and while it never really worked exactly, glaringly obvious illuminations of her more feminine, non-military-ranking traits, which definitely included things like watching her with a baby, weren't something he needed to be made aware of either.

Not if they both wanted to keep their jobs and positions on SG-1. _If _she'd even seriously be interested… They looked at each other uncomfortably for a few seconds, glad when Teal'c entered and they had something else to focus on.

They caught Teal'c up to date. Daniel seemed fascinated with Teal'c, particularly the Apophis mark on his forehead. Teal'c was understandably surprised, although only those who knew him best would be able to tell. An outside observer might have thought Teal'c was completely unsuprised to come down to breakfast and find that one of his teammates was now less than three feet tall.

After eating a banana and some dry cereal, and spending most of breakfast looking back and forth between all of the conversing adults, Daniel started squirming in Carter's lap, clearly wanting to be put down. She set him down cautiously, prepared to chase after him if he took off in any direction. To everyone's surprise, he ran around the other side of the table and tried to climb up into Teal'c's lap. Teal'c lifted Daniel solemnly into his lap before anybody could say anything, held the squirming child securely in his lap with one arm, and finished his breakfast while Daniel traced Teal'c's Apophis symbol carefully with two sticky fingers.

Sam and Jack both watched their largest friend (and now their smallest friend) interacting and were shocked. They knew Teal'c, while the toughest warrior they knew, was also one of the kindest and most loyal people they were ever likely to meet. And they knew he had a son of his own, who at some point must have theoretically been as small as Daniel was. But it was still more than a little bit bizarre to see them together.

After breakfast was over, Sam wiped its remnants off of Daniel and they took him back to the infirmary to see if Janet had managed to find him some clothes and, more importantly, diapers. Sam held his tiny hand in hers and the whole group walked slower to keep pace with his tiny legs. Carrying him would have been much easier, but he wanted to walk, and they were still a bit uncomfortable with the whole 'Daniel's a toddler' concept.

"How come he doesn't think Teal'c is scary?" Jack asked idly as they waited for Dr. Fraiser.

When she came into the room, Daniel let go of Sam's finger and slunk over to Jack, leaning into his leg heavily, as though he wanted to be sure to be close to him just in case the Crazy Needle Lady came after him again.

Sam smiled down at Daniel, imagining how much she would be able to tease both of them later about this, and said, "Maybe because Teal'c didn't scare him to death by screaming at him while he was sleeping."

"Who asked you," Jack grumbled as he tried to peel Daniel off of his leg. "Daniel, you don't need to go to the bathroom again, do you?"

Daniel looked up at him and blinked slowly, and for a moment he didn't look that different from normal.

"You volunteering to try potty training him, Colonel?" Janet asked, opening the package of diapers that one of her nurses had run out to buy.

"I don't think so, doc. Besides, he's not going to be small long enough to make it worth the effort. Hammond's got all the geeks working on that trunk thing. They'll figure it out."

"I hope you're right, sir," Janet said, trying to pick Daniel up to put a diaper on him. She assumed nobody else was going to volunteer to do it. The Colonel probably included it in her duties, since she was a doctor and all.

Daniel had had quite enough of Dr. Fraiser for one day, and latched onto Jack's leg more tightly than ever, pressed his face into Jack's knee, and yelled, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"She's not gonna hurt you, Danny," Jack tried, lifting his leg experimentally. Daniel clung to it, and stopped screaming, enjoying the impromptu ride.

"'Gain, Dack, 'gain!"

"Oh brother. I don't have the knees for this anymore, kid," Jack grumbled, obliging him nonetheless.

Daniel giggled and squealed, "'Gain!"

"One more time and then you have to let go, okay?" Jack bargained.

"Kay."

Daniel released him reluctantly after his third little trip, but twisted the loose fabric of Jack's trousers into his little fist and leaned into him. "No doc dough," he said firmly, sticking his thumb in his mouth.

"She's just going to put a diaper on you, Daniel," Sam tried, crouching next to him to speak.

"DANNY," the little boy corrected firmly around the thumb in his mouth.

"Sorry. Danny. You need a diaper. You don't want to wear that shirt forever, do you?"

He looked down at the funny outfit they'd put on him and said, "No."

"Okay then. So let's let Janet…"

"NO DOC!" he repeated.

"Danny… you have to wear a diaper." Sam was quickly growing frustrated. Daniel was hard-headed as an adult, but at least he listened to reason. Most of the time.

"Sam, no doc. Onwy Sam." Daniel let go of Jack's leg and went to Sam, patting her arm with the slobbery hand from his mouth.

"Looks like he won't let me near him. Sam, I think he'll let you put a diaper on him," Janet said.

"Sam," Daniel repeated, hugging her arm.

"Oh brother." She glanced up at her CO, who was clearly highly amused with the situation. He probably thought she didn't know how to change a diaper… okay, so technically she didn't, but that was beside the point. How hard could it be anyway?

She stood up reluctantly, picking Daniel up again, and took him over to a gurney, where Janet had spread a towel out. She lay him on his back and took the diaper Janet handed her, frowning down at it. "This is so weird," she muttered.

"He's just a little boy," Janet reminded her.

"Yeah, but he's also Daniel."

"Danny," the little boy corrected again.

"Right," Sam muttered.

Danny lost his patience quickly. He had been trying to lay still and good, as he always did when his diaper was changed, but this was just taking too long!

"Danny, be still," Sam moaned. "I'm trying to find all these safety pins… I might poke you."

"No pokes! No doc!"

"Then _be still,_" she said firmly, trying to turn him back over onto his back. "Sir, you must have done this before, could you give me a hand please?"

"All right but if he pees on me again, heads are gonna roll," Jack warned, crowding next to her and trying to hold the squirming boy. "Come on, T, get in here."

Teal'c moved to the other side of the gurney obediently, in case they required his assistance, but remained characteristically aloof. Spotting him, Daniel tried to squirm so that Teal'c was no longer upside down and he could look at him properly. "Young Jaffa do not wear such strange undergarments," Teal'c stated.

So it was that when General Hammond stopped by the infirmary to check any progress, he found three grown adults, his flagship team, all trying to change the diaper of one squirming toddler.

"Report, people."

"Kinda got our hands full, General!" O'Neill called over his shoulder.

"So I see. Stand down, SG-1."

Jack, Sam, and Teal'c stepped away from Daniel and watched as Hammond quickly and efficiently got the new diaper on Daniel. It took about thirty seconds.

"Wow. How'd you do that, sir?" Carter asked, amazed.

"Lots of practice with the grandchildren, Major. But don't expect me to be volunteering my services again. Now, get some clothes on that kid and be so kind as to join all the people waiting in the briefing room for an update on this situation."

"Yes, sir," Carter said obediently, taking the little tee-shirt Janet was offering her. One of the Captains on SG-5 had had it in the backseat of his car, along with a few diapers that were too small for Daniel and a fuzz-covered pacifier. Luckily, his wife had swapped cars with him so she could take his in for an oil change.

Regardless, it worked to their advantage, because Daniel now wore a tee-shirt that more or less fit. It almost reached the bottom of his diaper. Heather grey, it said 'Property of the USAF' on the front. Jack laughed at how ruffled both Daniel and Sam were after she managed to wrestle him into it. "We should take a picture of him in that shirt - he'll hate it!" Jack declared as Sam picked Danny up and brushed his long hair back into place.

"What are we supposed to do with him during the meeting?" Sam wondered.

Jack shrugged. "Maybe he'll get a taste of his own medicine - see how bored the rest of us usually are in there."

"That's not very helpful, sir," Sam said as they all left the infirmary.

"No," Jack agreed. "But it's funny."


	5. Planning and Playing

Ch 5

Daniel, it turned out, was perfectly happy to perch on Sam's lap during the meeting that was about him but did not concern him in the least, scribbling on her notebook.

The meeting was a waste of time anyway, at least in Jack's opinion. All everybody did was say what they already knew: Fraiser confirmed the boy was Daniel. None of the other scientists or linguists had been able to get the trunk open, much less decipher the markings on the outside (which were some unknown language in microscopic detail, apparently). Hammond ordered SG-1 on stand-down until further notice, and put them in charge of keeping Danny fed, watered, clean, and relatively happy.

Sam couldn't believe it when he said, "On that note, Major, he seems most comfortable with you, so I'd like you to spend as much time with him as possible."

"But sir, don't you think I can help him a lot more if I figure out that trunk?" Sam asked.

Hammond looked at her carefully, weighing his choices. He didn't want Carter to think he was putting her in charge of Daniel because she was a woman… it was just that Daniel seemed so much more comfortable with her. While O'Neill clearly had more experience caring for a small boy, and was therefore more comfortable than Carter, _Danny _was clearly more comfortable with Sam, and that was the most important thing, in General Hammond's opinion.

"Half days in the lab, Major," Hammond finally decided.

"Thank you, sir," Jack interrupted, before his 2IC could raise any further objections.

"In the meantime, I'm putting you in the VIP suite. As things arrive for him, they'll be taken there. I trust you to work out the details of his care between yourselves. See me if you have any problems. Dismissed, people."

Everyone left until only SG-1 remained in the room. "Well, I guess that settles that," Jack said.

Daniel looked up from the paper he was scribbling on, apparently only noticing just now that the room had emptied.

"Sir, I'd like to get to the lab, so…"

"You think he'll go with me? Alone?"

"He hasn't been able to move much… maybe you could take him to the gym and let him play on the mats or something," Sam suggested, absently running her hands through Danny's thick hair. The blond highlights caught the light so easily it was hard not to touch the baby-soft strands.

"I will accompany you, O'Neill," Teal'c stated.

"Good. Hey we can play with that physical therapy ball or something," Jack suggested, getting up. "Come on, Danny, let's go."

Danny looked at all of them steadily, and Jack thought for sure he was going to burst into tears. He had a sudden flood of 'terrible twos' memories and suppressed a shudder. Then, to his relief, Danny clumsily tore the page he'd been scribbling out of the notebook and pressed it into Carter's chest. "Me, Sam."

"Oh… thanks, Danny. It's great!" she said enthusiastically, admiring the picture. He hugged her, squashing the picture between them in the process, and slid out of her lap, going over to the two men, looking up at them with his nose wrinkled.

"Where we go?"

"Somewhere fun," Jack said. "To play."

"Pway?" His face lit up with the word.

"Yeah. Come on."

"Kay, Dack." Danny grabbed onto two of Jack's fingers with his right hand, and one of Teal'c's with his left, and the three men of SG-1 left together, Teal'c and Jack swinging Daniel every few steps as he laughed loudly.

Sam had to watch them go and couldn't suppress a smile. She'd seen them go off together countless times. Never like that though. She shook her head and smiled. Danny was cute, no doubt about it. But they still needed their Daniel back, as soon as possible. She tucked the slightly crumpled picture back into her notebook and headed to Daniel's lab.

vvvvvvvvvv

"Major Carter's idea was most ingenious," Teal'c stated after they saw how happily Daniel was running round the mats in the gym.

"Yeah."

"She is very good with children. Even very small ones, so it seems."

Jack looked at Teal'c carefully and said, "Something you want to say, T?"

"I was merely making an observation, O'Neill."

"Right." Teal'c never vocalized observations about anything unless he considered it important enough to mention.

They got out one of the big plastic balls used for physical therapy and pilates, and played with Daniel with it for a while, mostly oblivious to the various airmen who kept poking their heads into the gym to see what all the shrieks of laughter were about. When he tired of that, they all sat down on the floor and rolled Jack's bouncy ball back and forth until Danny suddenly stopped, put on a definite pout, and said, "Where Sam?"

"She's in your… she's working," Jack said, glancing at his watch. "But it's lunch time. Wanna go get her?"

"Sam, yeah we get Sam."

Jack rolled his eyes. "You know, you play with the kid all morning and all he wants is the woman who doesn't know which end of a diaper is which."

"Indeed," Teal'c agreed, simply because O'Neill seemed to want someone to agree with him. They put away the things they had used and went to get Sam for lunch.


	6. Meal Deals

A/N: Two in one day, because in proofreading this I realize I divided up the chapters at really strange lengths, and your reviews are giving me warm fuzzies. Thanks as always.

Ch 6

Sam was getting increasingly frustrated. She knew everyone working on the trunk meant well, but Daniel's lab was incredibly overcrowded, and everyone seemed to be buzzing about her for 'the answer,' and so far she had nothing.

"SAM! WOOK AT ME!" a little voice called loudly, sounding much higher up than it should be. She turned to the doorway and laughed. Her CO had Danny on his shoulders, holding onto his bare feet so he didn't fall. Daniel waved at her, clearly pleased with his new perch, which put him even higher than Teal'c.

The scientists began looking at Daniel like they wanted to get him under the microscope. Sam frowned at them before turning her attention back to the toddler and asked, "Did you have fun?"

"Oh yeah, he's a lot more fun like this," Jack agreed.

Danny patted him on the head and said, "Dack not scawy now. Mon, Sam."

"What?"

"I think that's his way of inviting you to lunch, Carter. Come on. I called the doc to meet us there too - if he sees her a few times and she doesn't hurt him, I think he'll start to like her. And I'm sure we'll need her to watch him at some point, so…"

"Good idea, sir," she agreed, going over to them.

Danny tried to dive right off Jack's shoulders to her, apparently unconcerned about falling. Luckily, Jack's head was in the way, and Jack had a hold of him anyway. He passed him to Sam, who seemed surprised at how happy the boy was to see her.

She settled him awkwardly, as she had become used to holding him, even in a short time, when he was tired or scared and _wanted_ to be held, and he automatically sort of molded himself against her. Now he was happy and excited, and seemed much more solid and hard to hold onto. He kept twisting and shifting unexpectedly and started up a steady stream of conversation that nobody else could understand, apparently telling her what he'd been up to since he was gone.

"Er… right. So I see you've had a busy morning too," she finally said when he stopped talking and looked at her expectantly as though waiting for a response.

Daniel nodded very seriously and seemed relieved that she had understood his story, so she figured she did all right.

"Come on already," Jack said suddenly, ushering her out the door.

Sam looked to Teal'c for an explanation. "We have worked up an appetite entertaining young Daniel Jackson," he said as they headed to the elevator.

vvvvvvvvvv

Jack's plan ended up working brilliantly. By the end of lunch, once Danny saw how nice Janet really was, and how well everybody else liked her, he was comfortable with her too. This was especially convenient because not only did Danny need another new diaper, he also needed a good cleaning after getting half his lunch all over himself. They had tried to feed him things that wouldn't be messy, but he'd somehow managed to make them that way regardless.

Sam was abiding by Hammond's half-day work schedule, she argued, because technically she had spent most of the morning dealing with the chaos and all rather than working. She ruffled Daniel's hair as she went back to work, and he watched her go with a sort of sad resignation that made Jack want to hug the little guy.

"So, Doc… want to take a turn with him for a little while?" Jack offered. "Teal'c and I will make sure everything's set up in the VIP quarters."

Janet frowned at him. "Colonel O'Neill, if you think for one second I don't know you're trying to give me the most unpleasant shift, you're seriously mistaken."

"That obvious?" he asked, wincing.

"Yes. Lucky for you, I happen to like babies and I would just as soon inflict your company on this sweet little boy as little as possible."

Jack was willing to overlook the fact that he was being insulted, since she seemed willing to change a dirty diaper and get the boy cleaned up. "Thanks, Doc. See you later, Danny."

"Bye, Dack. Bye Tea."

Janet sighed and took the little boy's hand. "Come on, Danny, let's go get you cleaned up."

"Kay doc."

She looked down in surprise. "You don't want to go picking up too much from Colonel O'Neill, Danny," she warned jokingly. "Luckily, he seems to have forgotten that after little boys like you eat and get cleaned up, they take naps."

vvvvvvvvvv

Sam was back in her own lab, all the information she had taken from Daniel's trunk now transferred to her own computer so she could work privately. She looked up as Jack and Teal'c entered, then realized they didn't have Daniel with them. "Um, Colonel, did you… lose something?" she asked.

"He's still with the doc. She hasn't called yet. Must be having fun with him. We got the VIP suite all set up for him and everything. There aren't very many toys in there though… a couple of books and stuffed animals is all. And he still doesn't have very many clothes. Hammond said we can take him off the base tomorrow. Wanna hit the toy store with us?"

"Sure."

"Good. Let's go get him, you were supposed to be done for the day an hour and a half ago."

"Yes, sir."

They all entered the infirmary and stopped in surprise. Daniel was asleep on one of the beds, the rails pulled up to ensure he didn't go rolling off, curled into a tiny ball. He barely made a blip in the bed, but he was sucking his thumb loudly enough to be heard throughout the infirmary. Janet was working quietly at her computer. She smiled at them and said, "He asked for you before he went to sleep, Sam."

"Oh," Sam said, nodding. She didn't understand why he had taken such a liking to her. She had no idea what to do with a child that small. She wasn't naturally good with all children like Colonel O'Neill was. But Daniel didn't seem to mind, or maybe he simply disagreed.

"Well, I guess maybe we should just go until he wakes up…" Jack said uncertainly.

Sam looked at him thoughtfully. He'd actually missed the little guy. Not that he'd ever admit it, because it was Daniel, after all.

They didn't have to actually leave, because Daniel woke up, whether on his own or because they were all there didn't really matter. Janet looked at her watch. "He slept for about three hours," she reported.

All three members of SG-1 were nodding and looking at Danny, but none made a move to pick him up or help him off the bed. Sam started to when he spotted her and smiled around the thumb still in his mouth, but Jack touched her elbow lightly and muttered, "Wet diaper."

She nodded and stood still next to him. Janet looked at all three of them and rolled her eyes. "Come here, Danny, let me get you a fresh diaper and you can go play."

"Kay doc," Danny repeated, causing Jack's eyes to widen in surprise and Sam to laugh and glance at him with amusement.

As she went about changing him into a fresh diaper, Janet said, "Yes, he's picking things up from you, sir, so I'd watch what I say if I were you. Although, I have to say that in his current condition I prefer him calling me 'doc.' I got him to say 'Janet' earlier but it sounded…"

Daniel interrupted her by saying, "Dannitdammitdannit."

"Yeah… like that," Janet finished.

Sam tried not to laugh. It sounded like the toddler was swearing. Jack grinned and said, "I don't know, doc, it's got a nice ring to it."

She shot him a look as she passed him the freshly diapered Daniel. Jack held him up at his eye level and said, "Sleeping on the job, huh. You'll have to tell me how you get away with that."

Danny laughed and said, "Down Dack."

"He's a lot more bossy like this," Jack commented as he set him down.

Apparently the three hour nap had rejuvenated him, because Danny quickly took off down the hall, padding loudly in his bare feet and moving as fast as his little legs would take him. SG-1 thanked Janet quickly and took off after him. He wasn't hard to catch up to, of course, but Jack wanted to see where he would go.

He headed to his office, and stopped in the doorway when he saw how crowded it was, as if he had expected it to be empty.

"Do you think this means he remembers…" Sam asked quietly, amazed.

"I don't know… but either way, he'll be pissed when he gets big again if he finds out we let him wreck his own stuff."

"Indeed," Teal'c agreed. "Come, Daniel Jackson."

"Dan-NEE," the toddler insisted, looking up at Teal'c with a scowl and poking himself in the chest for emphasis.

Teal'c sighed and said, "Very well. Danny."

Jack nudged Sam and said quietly, "Guess we should have just done that years ago, huh."

"Somehow I don't think it would work if we tried it, sir," she answered, watching as Teal'c scooped up the little boy, who looked even littler in Teal'c's massive arms. Teal'c set him on one shoulder, keeping a hand on him to ensure that he didn't fall, and left down the hall with him.

Jack and Sam shrugged and followed them, amused at the way Daniel seemed fascinated with Teal'c's bald head. He also was rather enjoying his view from so high. He waved at all the people they passed in the hallways on their way to the VIP suite, and called out cheery greetings that left half the on-duty staff amused and surprised.

"Great, he's going to be the golden boy of the SGC when he gets turned back to normal," Jack muttered as they got off the elevator.

"Wasn't he already, sir?" Sam asked innocently.

"Funny," he retorted as he let them all into the VIP room. Teal'c set Danny down and the boy spent a long time thoroughly exploring and examining his new surroundings, even opening all the drawers he could reach and trying to use the lower ones as steps to see higher. Jack quickly pulled him off the wardrobe and pointed him in a new direction. He spotted the bed and scrambled up it and began jumping in the middle.

"Should you not request that he desist such behavior?" Teal'c suggested.

Jack shrugged. "He's not hurting anything. Let him burn off some energy, there's not a lot to do in here. As long as we make sure he stays in the middle."

It took the combined ingenuity of the three adults to keep one two year old boy entertained for the rest of the evening in the relatively uninteresting room. After he tired of jumping on the bed, Sam played peek-a-boo with him with the pillows, which was almost as entertaining for Jack and Teal'c as it was for Danny (although Danny was the only one expressing this amusement by shrieking with laughter and giggling loudly until he gave himself the hiccups.)

Just the idea that he was watching the two smartest people he knew play peek-a-boo was enough to keep Jack entertained for quite some time. And when Teal'c pulled a camera out of his pocket and took a few pictures of them without them even noticing, it was even better. "Where'd you get that?" Jack asked him.

"Dr. Fraiser suggested we document this experience."

"Great idea - I was meaning to try to find one… we're gonna be able to blackmail him to death with this stuff."

"I do not believe that was her intention," Teal'c said calmly, putting the camera back in his pocket.

After Danny's hiccups went away, they played hide and seek with him. They tried to get him to watch TV. They airplane flew him around the room. They read him the few books that people had already brought. They tried to get him interested in the stuffed animals, but nobody was really certain what you _did _with a stuffed animal other than cuddle it while you slept. Jack thought maybe you made it talk in a funny voice, but he wasn't about to do that in front of Sam and Teal'c.

They watched him scribble on paper, which seemed to be one of his favorite things to do. They were glad when the commissary opened for dinner - not only were they all hungry but they were completely out of things to do with him.

"We need more toys and stuff," Jack repeated as they headed to dinner. Sam was holding Daniel's hand, and when they got off the elevator he let go and took off, heading for his lab again.

She chased him down and brought him back to the group, this time carrying him. He didn't look too upset that he had been captured again. "He's a squirmy little guy, isn't he?"

"Indeed," Teal'c agreed.

"I think he needs a haircut," Jack commented thoughtfully.

"His hair is beautiful!" Sam objected, running her hand through it as she spoke.

"It's too long. It's girly," Jack insisted.

"He's not going to be like this forever, and what does that matter anyway? It's just a little bit longer than it was when we met him. And it's not _that _long."

"Well… I guess it's okay," Jack grumbled, remembering his ex-wife complaining about how hard it was taking Charlie for a haircut. Apparently it could be a very traumatic experience. For the kid and the grown-up.

General Hammond and Dr. Fraiser were just entering the commissary as SG-1 did. They all greeted each other and decided to eat together. "I want to make sure you're feeding him okay," Janet said sternly, directing her comment especially at Jack.

"What? You ate with him at lunch, you saw he's okay."

It was meat loaf day. Jack suppressed a groan. While the grown-up Daniel would eat just about anything, he doubted the little version would be very happy with it. Not that he blamed him. He hated meat loaf day too. But the mashed potatoes that always accompanied it were actually pretty good.

He carried Daniel's tray and Teal'c carried Sam's, because she was still carrying Daniel. They all sat down, Sam with Danny on her lap again. Jack sat next to them in case she needed help feeding him, as they had figured out during breakfast that morning that while the boy would try enthusiastically to feed himself, he hadn't quite mastered the art yet. Things went much faster and cleaner if he had assistance.

Daniel would only eat the meatloaf if it was drowned in ketchup. By the time he was finished with it, he had so much smeared on his face that Jack thought he looked sort of like a tiny, messy vampire.

"He certainly seems comfortable with all of you," General Hammond commented as dinner progressed. He mentally added how comfortable the adult members of SG-1 looked with the baby as well.

"I think he sort of remembers us," Sam agreed, nodding and trying to get her little charge to eat a spoonful of peas. He clamped his mouth shut and leaned back into her to get as far away from the spoon as possible. "Come on, Daniel, eat your peas. You love peas."

"No!" he said stubbornly, barely opening his lips to get the word out. He wasn't going to take any chances.

Sam continued trying to feed him while she talked to General Hammond. "He keeps trying to go to his lab also. I don't know if it's just a familiar place to him, or what."

"Or it could be because we picked you up there for lunch, and that's where he woke up," Jack pointed out. "And he could just like us. It doesn't mean he remembers us."

"True… but he seemed to take Teal'c's presence as perfectly normal, and you have to admit that he would be intimidating to most toddlers."

"Yeah, I guess that's…" Jack was interrupted when Danny successfully knocked the spoon away from his mouth and sent peas flying everywhere. "True," Jack finished, as Daniel giggled at his own brilliance and Hammond and Janet looked amused.

Teal'c picked a few stray peas out of his pudding and said, "I do not believe he likes peas, Major Carter."

"You're not doing it right," Jack insisted, taking the spoon from her and digging into the peas left on the plate. He scooted his chair closer and said, "Okay, kid, open up."

Performing the obligatory flying-spoon manoeuvre and making the appropriate accompanying noises, Jack was too busy mentally patting himself on the back when it actually started working to realize that the entire commissary had gone silent and was watching in quiet amusement as SG-1's intrepid leader, the celebrated Colonel Jack O'Neill, fed a tiny Daniel Jackson peas and made ridiculous but perfectly accurate fighter jet noises.

The snort that finally escaped from Janet (who was about to explode from the effort of not laughing out loud) finally alerted Jack to the fact that his captive audience was significantly larger than the two-year old boy who'd had all of his attention for the last several minutes.

He cleared his throat, looking round the room self-consciously. "Nothing to see here, people." He handed the spoon back to Sam and said, "Carry on, Carter."

"Yes, sir," she said, unable to hide the grin on her face and the amusement in her voice.

He went back to his own meal, glancing sideways at the rest of the people at the table as he ate. Sam was now helping Danny with his mashed potatoes, which, unlike the peas, she could barely get into his mouth fast enough.

Teal'c was wearing the expression that was the Jaffa equivalent of rolling on the ground laughing hysterically. When he caught Jack glaring at him, he said merely, "You are a man of many hidden talents, O'Neill."


	7. Camping in the VIP Suite

A/N: Thanks for the continued attention to this story - I'll keep doing the same as long as you guys do. In answer to some of the 'I hope I see this...' reviews, don't worry, most of the things you've asked for will show up in the next few chapters.

Ch 7

That night, they decided Jack and Sam would both stay in the VIP room with Danny. Teal'c told them all goodnight and retired to his own quarters, and Jack cleverly brought Daniel to Dr. Fraiser to 'say goodnight,' conveniently when he needed another new diaper.

Janet gave him a look that said her patience was wearing thin on this matter, hugged and kissed Daniel goodnight, and gave him back to Jack, who flew him, Superman-style, out of the infirmary and back to the VIP suite, where Sam had already dressed for bed in their absence and was sitting in one of the chairs reading something.

She looked up in surprise when they entered. Danny had such an infectious laugh, and she was trying very hard not to be too touched by the way her CO obviously enjoyed interacting with him. He had gotten over the whole 'it's Daniel' thing fairly quickly, it seemed, and was now in his element. In many ways a two year old boy was the perfect audience for Colonel O'Neill… and Sam couldn't help but enjoy being an audience to _that_. It was nice to see the two of them getting along so well, and see the Colonel actually smiling, laughing, and having fun for a change.

The 'flight' over, Jack dropped Daniel on the couch carefully and sat down next to him, grabbing the remote. "You're not working, are you?" he called suspiciously as he flipped through the channels.

"Not really," Sam said evasively.

"Uh-huh. Danny, go make sure Carter knows it's play-time," Jack ordered.

"Huh?" the little boy asked, looking at them both, then round the room for a mysterious third person called 'Carter.'

"Sam," Jack corrected. "Go make her put her work away." He set the boy on his feet and pointed him at her.

Danny obediently ran over to her and started patting her insistently on the knee. "That is so cheap, sir," Sam argued, determinedly not looking at the little boy. She held the folder in her lap in front of his face and kept reading, although at this point she honestly had no idea what the words she was reading were actually _saying_.

Danny giggled and asked, "Peek-boo?"

"One second," she tried, refusing to look at him just yet. She was almost to a stopping point…

That was no problem, he could work with that. Danny hugged her legs, the only part of her he could completely see, and folded himself over, laying his head in her lap. "Sam pway pwease," he said in a truly pathetic voice that made her instantly toss the folder aside and pull him up into her lap.

"That's just not fair," she complained half-heartedly. Her CO looked way too smug. "Okay, what do you want to play, Danny?" she asked him.

Danny, however, realized that he was actually quite tired. It had been a very busy and interesting day for him, after all. "Wead," he said carefully.

"Weed? What is… oh, read. Yeah, okay."

Jack stretched out on the couch and watched TV while Sam read the books to Danny. He'd already heard them twice that day, but didn't seem to mind. He snuggled into her, sucking his thumb, and started fighting hard to stay awake. When she finished the books, he said, "Pway hide-see?"

Jack twisted on the couch to look at them and realized he had guessed right. He remembered the 'keep busy so you don't fall asleep' tactic from when Charlie was little. "No more playing, Danny, we're sleepy," he called.

"I not sweepy," Danny said stubbornly. "Hungwy."

"I don't think we've got anything in here for you. I can go to the commissary and…" Sam started.

"He's just stalling, Carter, he ate a ton of food at supper."

"Hungwy," he insisted, scowling at Jack. "And firsty," he added for good measure.

"I'll just go get him something just in case, okay? We need some more water and stuff for him anyway."

"All right, but I bet you he's asleep or almost when you get back and he won't want it."

"All right, it's a bet, Colonel. Loser changes the next diaper," Sam said with a smile, getting to her feet with Danny.

"What? I didn't agree to…" Jack started objecting.

"Afraid your little theory is crap, sir?"

"Watch it, Major," he warned, although it wasn't very threatening as he was grinning while he spoke. "Okay, you're on. Now, give me the child. You'll see."

Sam deliberately plopped Danny right on top of Jack and said, "We'll see. Sir."

"Sam?" Danny called as she headed for the door.

"I'm coming right back," she promised. "Wait up for me, okay Danny?"

"Kay, Sam!"

"Talk about not playing fair!" Jack called after her. When they were alone, he looked up at Danny, who was sitting on Jack's chest and looking sleepy, but like he knew he was going to get away with something. "That's what you think, pal," Jack told him, turning up the volume on the TV. "Look. Your favorite show. The Simpsons!"

The animation did interest the little guy, and although Jack knew that it wasn't really an appropriate show for such a little kid, well… it was Daniel. He wouldn't be like this forever, and it was definitely the only thing on at this time of night that could remotely hold his interest. Plus even though it was Daniel, how much of it could he really be taking in beyond the bright animation and funny voices?

"Lay down, kid," Jack instructed, moving around until Danny was trapped between the back of the sofa and Jack, who still lay flat on his back. Danny lay stretched out beside him but mostly on top of him. He could see the television but getting out of that spot would take a lot more effort than he had. He squirmed for a few minutes but soon lay still, content to watch TV, cuddle, and suck his thumb.

Jack kept looking down at him hopefully. By the time Sam came back, his eyes were only halfway open and the pace of thumb-sucking had slowed considerably.

She looked down at them both, stopping at the foot of the couch with a banana in one hand and two bottles of water in the other, and smiled automatically at the sight of both of them lying there watching The Simpsons. Then she realized she'd just lost a bet and scowled, meeting the smug and smirking face of her CO.

"Danny, aren't you hungry?" she tried hopefully.

He mumbled something unintelligible but didn't even move.

"Thirsty?"

"Give it up, Carter. You're on diaper duty," Jack said happily.

She put the things she had brought away and spotted the camera Teal'c had been using. She snapped a picture of them on the couch and got a challenging look for it. "I'd be careful if I were you, Carter. You might start something," he warned.

"I'll take my chances, sir. Besides, you can't get up at the moment."

"I'll bide my time," he insisted.

She rolled her eyes and went back to the chair she'd been in earlier, but the TV show was way too distracting for her to keep reading. By the time it was over, Danny was asleep.

"I guess he's sleeping in that playpen thing?" Sam asked, nodding over at the collapsible crib/playpen Teal'c and Jack had set up earlier in the day. It was next to the bed.

"Yeah. He's kind of old for it but since we're on the base and all it's probably safer if we kind of… know where he is. Plus it's more comfortable than the floor, and I'd be kind of worried about him falling off the bed."

"Yeah, me too," Sam agreed. "Do you want me to, you know, move him?"

Jack looked down at the mop of ruffled, supersoft baby hair nestled into his chest and said, "He's okay. For a while. He might wake up if we move him too soon."

"Right," Sam said quietly, smiling to herself.

When Jack started to doze off as well, he figured they should all settle in for the night. Sam carefully peeled Daniel away from him. He squirmed but settled into her sleepily, barely waking. She lowered him into the makeshift crib and fussed with the blanket she settled over him for a moment, satisfied when he curled over onto his side and found his thumb again.

"I am so gonna tease him about that thumb sucking thing," Jack said quietly, going over to the wardrobe to get himself a blanket and pillow.

"I think we'll be okay if you want to go back to your own quarters, sir," Sam said uncomfortably. "You really don't need to stay on the couch…"

"Trying to get rid of me, Carter?" he asked mildly.

"No, sir." Actually, she liked having him there a lot more than she was supposed to. They tended to feel everything a lot more than they were supposed to, but that wasn't really the point. She felt like by his continued presence he was saying she needed him there. Needed help. Like she couldn't take care of one little kid by herself.

She knew it was stupid - he probably didn't mean it like that, maybe even didn't think that, although it could very well be true whether he believed it or not. It was more the suggestion that there might be something she couldn't handle by herself that was making her suddenly want to prove that she could make it through one night alone in a room with a two-year old.

"Good, cuz it's not going to work anyway. Hammond ordered us both in here tonight. If you've got a problem with it take it up with him tomorrow. Got it?"

"Yes, sir." She was actually relieved that he had practically made it an order. It was safer all around that way, although it didn't make her feel 100 percent better. It did help. "Good night."

"Night, Carter." He squeezed her shoulder briefly and went back over to the couch. She waited until he was settled and then got into bed, leaned over, and flipped out the light.

An hour later, she was dozing, not deeply asleep yet, when Danny started stirring. He whimpered, "Sam?" and sounded so scared that she flipped on the light and leaned over the pack-and-play quickly.

"Hey. Did you get scared?" she guessed, figuring he hadn't recognized his surroundings.

Danny nodded. She stroked his hair and said, "You're okay. I'm right over there, and the Colonel… Jack… is on the couch. Go back to sleep, okay?"

"Nooo… I'm scaawed."

"Scared? Of the dark?"

He nodded and scrambled to his feet, trying to climb out of the playpen to her. She leaned over, hugging him, but tried to lay him back on his back. He did not appreciate it. He started crying.

"Y'ok?" Jack called from the couch.

"He's scared. And he doesn't like the crib."

"Hey, I don't blame him."

"Saaaam," Danny cried, trying to climb out again. She picked him up and he muffled his sobs in her shirt, just as he had earlier that morning. It had been an extremely long day, Sam realized suddenly.

She rubbed his back comfortingly and his crying subsided into occasional whimpers. She swayed on the spot for a few minutes and said, "I thought babies this big slept all night."

"Yeah, they usually do, but it looks like nobody mentioned that to Danny boy. Want me to…"

"I can do it," she said quickly, belatedly realizing she had not only just been rather short with her CO, she had interrupted him as well. They were both so sleepy and tired that she knew he wouldn't take offence, if he even registered it.

"Kay. Lemme know."

"Yes, sir," she said, sounding somewhat guilty. Daniel stilled in her arms and she continued to sway on the spot with him for a few minutes, then tried to lay him back down.

"Nooooooooo…" he clung to her shirt and started gearing up for another fit.

"Okay. You don't like that thing. Where do you want to sleep?"

"Stay wiff you. I'm scawed."

"You can't sleep in the bed with me, Danny, you might fall off in the night and get hurt," she tried to explain.

"No. I won't."

"Not on purpose, I know, but…" she looked at the bed and sighed. "Here, want me to read you that book about the duck again?"

"Kay," he agreed immediately, knowing he'd have to be taken out of the crib for that. She fetched the book and sat on the side of the bed, holding him again, and read the book yet one more time. He fell asleep while she was reading it.

She kept talking so the absence of her voice wouldn't wake him up while she moved him, and successfully got him back in the portable crib. She covered him with his blanket again and watched hopefully. He didn't stir. Feeling oddly proud of herself for such a relatively small task, she flipped the lamp back off and got back in bed.

Fifteen minutes later…

"Saaaaaaaaam!"

When the soft snoring from the couch didn't even falter, she got up again quickly, hoping she could get to Daniel without waking her CO up - no need for him to know just how much trouble she was having getting one little boy to stay asleep.

"Danny… we can't do this all night," she said quietly. "I'm sure you sleep alone, don't you?"

"But I scawed! I need you!"

She looked at the bed and sighed. "Okay. I'll leave the light on so you can see me, but I've got to put you down for a bit to work this out, okay?"

"Kay." He stood in the crib, peering over the edge, and watched hopefully.

Jack awoke to the sounds of furniture being moved. Granted, his 2IC was obviously trying to do it as quietly as possible, although that still didn't answer the question of why she felt… he glanced at his watch… 01.16 hours was the best time to try her hand at redecorating the VIP room.

"Carter, what the hell?" he croaked, sitting up with a groan and peering over the back of the couch at her.

Startled, she exclaimed, "Sir! Sorry. Didn't mean to wake you… but I thought if I pushed the bed into the corner and kept myself between Daniel and the other side, it would be okay. He won't stay in the crib."

"And you didn't wake me up to help _why?" _he asked as he got up and joined her. She had the box spring separated from the headboard so that the bed would be easier to move, and had already moved everything else out of the way.

Danny was supervising. He offered a, "Hi Dack" without removing his thumb from his mouth.

"You're a troublemaker, you know that? I don't tell you that often enough," Jack told the boy, who merely nodded solemnly, blinking slowly in the dimly lighted room.

Jack complained loudly as he and Sam tugged and pulled the bed up against the wall. Sam didn't bother answering most of the complaints that he was getting way too old to wake up in the middle of the night and drag furniture across the room. He could have pretended to remain sleeping, after all, if he wasn't willing to actually help. He just liked to be gruff about things - she knew he'd actually be much more upset if he woke up in the morning to find she had done everything by herself while he slept.

Once they were done, Jack turned to Daniel and said, "You better not peep after this kid."

He was all the way back on the couch, under his own blanket, and Danny was now trapped in the bed between Sam and a wall (with pillows up against it in case he rolled into it) before Danny innocently said, "Peep."

Sam had to laugh, and she was so exhausted after the long, strange day that once she started, she couldn't stop the distinctly un-Major-like giggles she knew her CO had disapproved of even when she had been a Captain.

"What's so funny, Carter?"

"Some things just never change, sir."


	8. Shopping

A/N: This one's got some of the things some of you have been hoping for. For the record, this story just has to take place sometime before "Chimera..." but in my mind it takes place in Season 4 - for no particular reason, I just really like that season.

Ch 8

Sam was awoken the next morning by an insistent little hand patting her stomach until she forced her eyes open. "Sam, I am awake!" Danny announced, as though he'd accomplished something truly remarkable.

She smiled at how messed up his hair was. "Yes, you are."

"Where Dack?"

"Probably still on the couch."

"Why?"

"That's where he slept."

"Why?"

"In case you needed anything."

"Oh."

Sam rolled onto her back and tried to shake the lingering grogginess, but she had a feeling that even larger amounts of coffee would be needed than usual. Danny apparently did not approve of the fact that she still had not sat up or gotten out of bed. He plopped himself down on her stomach, laughing, and said, "Up!"

"Ugh. How am I supposed to get up with you sitting on me?" she asked. His diaper was alarmingly warm. She remembered the bet she'd lost and said, "Come on, I'd better change your diaper."

As she fetched the diaper and wipes, she debated waking up her CO to witness the diaper change, worried he might claim she had no witnesses and make her change another one. The decision was taken away from her when Daniel ran over to the couch, pressed his face right up to Jack's ear, and once again loudly proclaimed, "I am awake!"

Jack nearly fell off the couch, he was so startled. It was quite a funny sight, the large man moving so quickly and looking around so wildly because of a cute little boy in a diaper and tee-shirt. Sam tried not to laugh at her unfortunate CO's rude awakening, but hers had not been much better.

Looking down at Daniel, Jack remembered not to swear and turned to his 2IC instead. "Well… I'm glad he outgrew _that _habit, can you imagine that in the field? Morning, Carter."

"SAM," Danny insisted, staring up at him stubbornly.

"All right, all right. Morning, SAM. I see you're about to pay off the bet you lost to your infinitely wiser Commanding Officer."

"Wiser?" she asked with a raised eyebrow. "Well.. I guess that's one way of looking at it. It certainly implies that age is a factor and…"

"Hey, watch it," he grumbled, running a hand through his hair and messing it up even more. He scooped Danny up and passed him to her. "You have fun. I think we both need coffee. Lots of it. I'll go get…"

A sharp knock on the door cut him off as Sam got Danny lying on his back and removed the wet diaper, touching it as little as possible.

"Come in!" Jack called.

Teal'c entered bearing a carafe of coffee and two empty mugs. "Greetings, O'Neill. Major Carter. I have brought you coffee."

"Excellent," Jack said, doing a spot-on Mr. Burns impression.

"Thanks, Teal'c, I really need some," Sam called, trying unsuccessfully to keep control of the squirming Danny, who was much more interested in greeting Teal'c than in having a fresh diaper stuck to his body. He squirmed away from her, scrambled to his feet, and ran over to Teal'c as naked as a jaybird.

"Hi Tea!" he called as he ran.

Teal'c looked down at the little boy with obvious amusement. "Good morning, young Danny. You are already causing Major Carter much vexation this morning, I see."

Danny stopped and looked at Teal'c carefully, as if trying to store away all those new words to memory. Then he said, "Yup!" and ran back over to Sam, throwing his arms around her neck.

"Oh brother," Sam muttered. It was easy, most of the time, to overlook the fact that this was _their _Daniel Jackson, but every once in a while it would occur to her that when he was back to normal they were all going to be very embarrassed about some of these situations. Especially the ones that required the rest of his team to tend to Daniel's toileting needs.

She stretched him flat on his back once more and quickly put the diaper on him, setting him on his feet and eyeing it critically. Even when she picked him up by the armpits and moved him up and down to test it experimentally, it didn't fall off. "Huh, look at that," she said under her breath, as Jack suddenly clapped her shoulder and said, "Practice makes perfect, Carter."

"Hey, I agreed to _one, _not…" she started.

"In addition to bringing you coffee, I have come to watch young Daniel Jackson while you shower and dress for your outing," Teal'c told them, effectively redirecting the conversation so future diaper-changing arguments could be averted, at least for the time being.

"You don't wanna go shopping with us, T?" Jack asked, pouring coffee for both of them.

"I will pass, O'Neill. But I would be happy to watch him when you return."

"Great. I was thinking we could shop until lunch, then come back here and you can work the second half of the day. That okay?" Jack directed the question at Sam, who looked surprised. Sure, this wasn't exactly a normal mission, but he was still more or less in charge.

"Sure," she agreed. "So… Teal'c, can you take Danny to breakfast too?"

"I would be happy to, Major Carter. I myself have not eaten yet. Dr. Fraiser has procured several more things for young Daniel Jackson. I shall find him suitable clothing and nourishment. Prepare for your day at your own leisure."

Teal'c picked up the little boy and settled him on one shoulder again. Jack thought he looked like a pirate with his pet parrot. "Yeah, thanks Teal'c… one word of advice though. You might want to feed him _before _you get him in his clothes for the rest of the day."

"A wise strategy, O'Neill," Teal'c agreed.

An hour later, Sam and Jack were both clean and sufficiently caffeinated for their day. They were both dressed in civilian clothing, of course, but it made the whole situation even more strange and uncomfortable when they went to the infirmary to look for their little charge. Dressed casually, Sam in jeans and a navy sweater, Jack in his usual cargo pants and plaid shirt, everything seemed very family-outing-ish.

This was highlighted further when Janet passed them a huge diaper bag and started strapping Daniel into an umbrella stroller someone had brought in that morning. He looked adorable, in an olive pair of overalls with a striped shirt underneath.

General Hammond popped into the room and said, "At ease people," before anyone had time to snap to attention. "Just wanted to see you off on your mission, Colonel, Major."

"Thank you, sir," Jack said. Hammond handed him a credit card and Jack smiled. "And thank you, sir."

"We'll donate whatever you buy after Dr. Jackson is back to normal, but that doesn't mean you need to go completely insane, do I make myself clear, Colonel?"

"Clear as always, sir."

"Good… that being said, get him enough to keep him clothed and entertained for a while. I just got a progress report - the two lines of symbols on the trunk are so small that when it was scanned into the computer… it was more than two thousand pages, and nobody has been able to decipher any of it, so… this little guy might be here for a while." Hammond leaned over and ruffled Danny's hair affectionately. The boy was really adorable.

Teal'c knelt down in front of Danny to tie his trainers, saying, "These are too large. You must procure footwear that is the appropriate size."

"Okay, first stop then," Jack agreed. Watching Teal'c meticulously tying the laces, Jack added, "Maybe some with Velcro."

"I'll carry the car seat for you and help you put it in. I've made a list of things you absolutely need to get, but most of it is up to your discretion," Janet said, handing Sam a list. She scanned it quickly and nodded, tucking it into her pocket. Grabbing the handles of the stroller, she steered towards the door.

Jack called, "Wait, don't you want to carry the diaper bag? I can push the… crap." Jack eyed the diaper bag with obvious distaste. It wasn't the fact that it was a diaper bag that bothered him - it was the giant bunny rabbit on each side. He shouldered the bag reluctantly and muttered, "See you later, Teal'c. Sir."

"Enjoy your excursion, O'Neill."

"And Colonel… Daniel does not need a new Playstation," Hammond said firmly.

Jack looked momentarily thwarted but covered quickly. "Of course not, sir, what would a baby do with a Playstation? See you after lunch," he added as he followed the two women out of the infirmary.

When they reached his truck, he struggled to fold up the stroller and muttered, "I forgot how much crap comes with a kid."

Janet put the car seat in the backseat of his truck, then buckled Danny into it, tucking his hair into place. "Try not to give them too much trouble, okay, Danny?"

"Kay, Doc," he said cheerfully, swinging his legs experimentally and happily discovering he could reach the back of the passenger seat with his feet.

She smiled at him, said goodbye to Jack and Sam, and watched them all pile into the truck and drive away. Heading back inside, she said to herself, "I wonder if they have any idea how cute they all look together."

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

"So where exactly are we going, sir?" Sam asked once they were on their way.

"First of all, you've got to not call me 'sir' today. I mean when we're on base, yeah, I guess, but when it's just us and Danny, it confuses him. And we're going to get some REALLY strange looks while we're shopping if every other word out of your mouth is 'sir.' Okay, _Sam._"

Realizing he was right, she hesitated briefly and said, "Sure Jack" in an exaggeratedly casual tone. She then decided it was a good idea to spend the rest of the trip looking out the window, and didn't even bother trying to get Danny to stop kicking the back of her seat.

When they got to the mall, Jack slipped the straps of the diaper bag over the handles of the stroller while Sam strapped Danny into it. He smiled triumphantly when it worked - now he wouldn't have to carry the damn thing all day. As it was a weekday, and a morning, the mall wasn't too crowded.

"I want out! I want out!" Danny insisted, squirming against his restraints while Jack pushed the stroller.

"Danny, I don't think you realize what a rare opportunity you have here, having the Colonel chauffer you around. Why don't you sit back and enjoy it?" Sam tried.

"I want out!"

"Hey, kid. If you sit in the stroller while we get your clothes and crap, we'll let you out of it for the toy store, okay?" Jack offered.

"Kay, Dack!" he called happily, relaxing back into the stroller.

"There's a shoe store, s… Jack."

"Good, lead the way."

They quickly found the children's shoes next to women's. "Oh my God, these are so cute!" Sam exclaimed involuntarily, looking at all the tiny little shoes and picking up a little white and navy one with Velcro straps.

Jack just stared at her. He'd never heard her sound so… girly before.

"What?" she asked self-consciously, even though as soon as she had said it, turned, and seen the look on his face, she knew exactly _what. _

"Nothing," he said quickly.

They were saved from the awkwardness by an overly-friendly employee, who couldn't have been more then eighteen. "Hi, can I help you?" she asked.

"Yeah, um, can we see that one…" Jack nodded at the shoe in Sam's hand. "In…" He looked at Sam. "What size?"

"I don't know…" She crouched down in front of Daniel and started taking off the shoe he was wearing to check the size. "This one's a… six. So maybe a five, or a four?"

Jack shrugged, and noticed that the sales girl was looking at them very strangely. Jack realized most children probably came in wearing shoes that were too small rather than too large, and that most parents would know what size shoes their children were wearing. "Um, this is… her nephew," he tried to cover. "And he's visiting… and his luggage was lost at the airport, so…"

"Oh, of course. I'll measure his feet just to be sure, then, sir."

"Great, thanks."

She left to go get her measurer and Sam finished pulling Danny's other shoe off and then let him out of the stroller, setting him on his feet. "Nephew?" she mouthed to Jack, who shrugged.

"He looks a hell of a lot more like you than me," he explained quietly.

Sam looked down at the little boy. He did have a lot of blonde highlights, and blue eyes. It had never occurred to her before. It also hadn't really occurred to her that everyone they saw today was automatically going to assume they were Danny's parents. She supposed she should have realized it earlier, but she had been a little preoccupied just getting ready and assisting in getting Danny ready for the day. Blushing slightly, she muttered, "These socks are too big too, I'm going to go find some smaller ones," and headed to the back of the store where all the socks were displayed.

Jack put a hand on Danny's shoulder to stop him from going after her, and sat down in one of the chairs, rolling the tiny shoe back and forth between his hands. "Do you like this one too?" he asked.

Danny shrugged.

Jack shrugged too. "Works for me. Come here, let me take your socks off." He pulled him into his lap and pulled the too-big socks off as the sales girl, whose name tag identified her as Lisa, returned with her little measuring thing and three shoeboxes.

"Sorry, sir, I had trouble finding the smaller measurer."

"That's okay," Jack said, setting Danny back on his feet but keeping his hands on him lightly to keep him in place. Sam came back over with a package of small white socks.

"I think these are right - it says 2-4 years."

Lisa glanced at the package and nodded as she crouched in front of Danny. "Socks are much easier to fit. You can go ahead and open them so he can use them to try on the shoes." Sam nodded and pulled open the plastic packaging. "I'm Lisa," the sales girl said to Danny. "What's your name?"

"Danny."

"Hi, Danny. Can you put your foot in here for just a second and be real still?"

He nodded, putting a hand on Jack's knee for balance as he obediently put his foot in the metal device. "Cold!" he exclaimed.

"I know. Just hang on a second." Lisa quickly measured his foot and said, "Looks like a four. I've got one here."

Sam got the new socks on Danny while Jack helped him balance and Lisa pulled the tissue out of the new shoes. She got them on and Velcroed them shut. "These you'll be able to put on all by yourself," she said as she felt the toe. "This is definitely the right size," she said, looking up at Jack and Sam.

"Do they feel okay?" Jack asked Danny, who shrugged. "Walk around a little," he encouraged, letting go of him. Danny walked around the store and was soon jumping and running experimentally.

Lisa laughed when he stopped in front of a mirror and stared at his own feet, then started jumping up and down again. "He is so cute!" she said.

"Um, thanks," Sam said somewhat awkwardly. "It looks like we found the right ones. Can he wear them out of the store?"

"Of course," Lisa said, putting the old shoes in the box and standing up. "I'll take these up to the register."

"I'll go pay, you get the jumping-Jackson back in the stroller," Jack said, taking the socks up to the register and grabbing another package as well. Hey, you could never have too many socks.

Sam pushed the stroller over to Daniel. "Come on, back in."

"Sam, pwease no?" Danny begged, looking up at her with huge, pleading eyes and a pouting lip.

"Oh, that is so unfair," she said with a sigh. "All right, fine." Without Daniel's weight in front, the diaper bag would tip the stroller backwards if nobody held the handles, so Sam set the diaper bag in the seat and said, "But you have to hold my hand then."

Danny hugged her legs and then took her hand. She pushed the stroller over to the register with one hand. Jack looked at them, amused. "Hey, if you'd seen his face you would have given in too," Sam insisted. Jack chuckled, put his wallet back into his pocket, and thanked Lisa, who leaned over the counter to smile at Danny as Jack set the shopping back on top of the diaper bag and commandeered steering of the stroller.

"Bye, Danny. I hope you like your new shoes."

He waved at the friendly girl and said, "Bye bye."

"Two years old and he's still getting all the girls," Jack commented as they left the store. Sam gave him a strange look but didn't respond.

"What else is on that list of yours?" Jack asked.

Sam pulled it out of her pocket, unfolded it, and read, "Sippy cups… wait, what's a sippy cup?"

"Those ones that aren't supposed to spill. But believe me, they can still spill."

"Sounds like the voice of experience there," Sam said, smiling at him.

"Oh yeah. You can't put soda in them. Trust me."

"I think Janet would freak if we gave him soda anyway…" Sam looked back at the list and read, "Booster seat, more diapers… we can't get that stuff at the mall."

"We can drive over to Toys R Us after this. They have that stuff too, plus it's way better than the toy store here."

"Toys?" Danny piped up again.

"Not yet," Sam said. "She actually put clothes and PJs on the list… like we didn't know that already! And there's a note here saying she's going to bring some of Cassie's old Disney tapes for him, so we don't need to buy any of those."

"Okay. Hey, check the sizes on his clothes real quick so we don't have to guess in the next store and make up another cover."

"Good idea," Sam agreed, quickly checking the tags. "Got it. Clothes are easier than shoes anyway."

"Yeah. There's a kids' store, let's get the boring part of this over with."

Jack quickly realized that a child's clothing store is not the easiest place to bring a stroller. Which was weird… because there were quite a few strollers present, and the people who designed these store layouts had to expect people to come in with strollers in the first place… you'd think they'd space their racks and stuff a little farther apart.

Sam picked out a few little tee-shirts, plain and striped, figuring when Daniel was big again he wouldn't exactly appreciate it if they had stuck him in something covered with bears or whatnot. "Are these okay, Danny?" she asked him.

"Okay," he answered. Then he spotted something and ran off towards it with Sam following, and by the time Jack had wheeled the stroller over to them, Sam was holding a shirt with a dinosaur on it. There was a whole table of dinosaur clothes.

"I wuv dese, I wuv dino-saws," Danny exclaimed, then went on and on about dinosaurs, speaking very rapidly in a babbly language nobody but he himself could understand.

"I told you he remembered stuff," Sam said quietly.

"Maybe he's just always been a geek," Jack pointed out. "I'm sure all archaeologists loved dinosaurs when they were kids. And how come he can't even say my name properly but he says 'dinosaurs' like anybody else?"

Sam shrugged, and said, "Look Danny, dinosaur jammies!"

"Yay!"

Jack sighed and took the bundle of clothes Sam pressed into his arms. They left the dinosaur table with one of everything, including a dino pattern baby blanket, and Jack had to remind them that they still needed pants.

Khaki and navy overalls were added to the pile, as well as two pairs of shorts. Jack spotted another table's contents and exclaimed, "Sam, look!"

It was the first time he had been interested in any of the clothes shopping, so she followed him in amusement, pulling Daniel along with her. "Little bitty cargo pants! Regulation colors, too!"

"Those are perfect," Sam agreed. Green and khaki pants joined their pile. Jack spotted a tiny boonie hat and grabbed it too. "Definitely Daniel," Sam smiled. "I think we've got enough now though."

"Yeah, I just want to grab him a black tee-shirt, weren't there some over at that first rack?"

"Yeah, I think so."

They had just found the tee-shirt and were ready to head for the register when a loud voice shrieked, "Jack O'Neill, is that really you?"

Sam noticed the wince just before Jack forced his face into a smile and turned to the source of the voice: a short, pretty woman with long brown hair and a very bored looking little girl about eight years old standing next to her. "Yeah, it's me… Cheryl?"

"Carol," the woman corrected, smiling at him, then looking at Sam and Danny carefully.

Sam shifted uncomfortably and tightened the hand connected to Danny. Jack shifted the pile of clothes he was holding into one arm and put his now-free hand at the small of Sam's back. "Sorry. Carol. Of course." He turned to Sam and explained, "She's a friend of Sarah's."

"Oh!" Sam said, surprised at how relieved that suddenly made her feel, refusing to acknowledge the curiosity and jealousy that had been stirring, or the happy little flutter when he half-hid behind her and touched her - it felt a lot different without heavy BDUs and a tactical vest between them.

"This is Sam, and… the one with his thumb in his mouth is Danny." Jack smiled at the bored looking girl and said, "Hi. I'm Jack."

"I'm Emily," she said, smiling at him a little and looking at Sam. "I'm nine. How old is Danny?"

"He's two and a half," Sam answered.

"Two and a half and I never heard a word about him!" Carol exclaimed. "He certainly looks like his mother, although, my God, Jack he also looks exactly like Charlie!"

Sam's polite smile faded instantly and she visibly paled at the mention of Charlie. Jack froze, his eyes clouding over. Sam snapped into action and quickly said, "Danny is my nephew, Carol. And… I'm sorry but he really needs a diaper change, so we should get going…"

"Oh, of course. Excuse us, please. It was nice to meet you."

"You too," Sam said without emotion. Then she glanced at Emily and smiled. "Nice to meet you too, Emily."

"Bye," Emily offered.

"Good to see you, Jack," Carol said, seemingly oblivious to the effect her words had had on Jack, who forced himself to nod as Carol dragged her once-again bored looking daughter off to the girl's section of the store.

Sam sighed when they were alone and said quietly, "Col… J-Jack…"

"It's fine," he said, taking the clothes to the register. Sam followed with Danny. Jack shifted impatiently while the salesman started scanning their purchases, and finally slipped Sam the credit card Hammond had given them and said, "I'm gonna go wait outside."

Sam nodded. Jack pushed the stroller out of the store, found a nearby bench, and sat down to wait.

"Sam?" Danny asked, looking up at her sadly after watching Jack leave.

"It'll be okay," Sam assured him, picking him up now that her arms weren't full of clothes. He snuggled into her, and she wondered if Daniel had just been born extremely sympathetic to the feelings of others. "He's just a little sad."

"Sam fix?"

She smiled and stroked his hair. "Hopefully we both can." She paid for the clothes and took the large bag with one arm, still holding Danny in the other. They left, scanning the mall for Jack. They quickly located him on a nearby bench, staring down at his shoes.

Biting her lip, Sam approached him cautiously, unsure of what to say. She settled for, "Hey," as she sat down on the bench, setting the bag down by the stroller and settling Danny in her lap, facing Jack.

"Hey. Ready?"

"We could… sit for a while," Sam suggested carefully.

Jack nodded, looking at his hands.

"Look, Jack… I didn't realize… well, nobody did… I mean, I didn't know that he looks sort of like… like him. Nobody would expect you to…"

"It's okay," Jack said quickly. "He sort of does resemble Charlie… the hair and eyes… and dimples… but a lot of little kids look similar. Despite what that woman said, he doesn't look _exactly _like him… not even that close, really… Well, not to me. But… I was his… father."

"And… he was lucky that you were."

Jack looked at her sharply.

"I'm sorry," she said immediately. "I don't know what to say to you, I just… you're so wonderful with children you have little or no connection to that I can't even imagine… how much you must have… how good you must have been with… and consequently how much it must hurt you to… I'm really sorry," she finished miserably.

"It's not your fault. It was just a surprise… I was a lot more relaxed than usual and kind of… blind sided I guess… I just need a minute."

"We can go if you want. You can drop us back at the base and spend some time alone…"

"No," Jack interrupted. "That's definitely not what I need."

Sam nodded, wishing she had something brilliant to say… although she knew there was really nothing to say.

After a few minutes of sitting quietly, Jack looked over at them, surprised at how still and quiet Danny was being. The kid was curled up in Sam's lap, resting his head on her chest, his thumb in his mouth, looking at him with a sad and worried expression that made him look much older than he was. And more like Daniel than ever, apart from the thumb-sucking. "You okay?" he asked, alarmed at how much his behavior had affected everyone else's mood, even the happy little boy.

Danny nodded, took his thumb out of his mouth, and said, "I wuv you, Jack."

Jack smiled, glanced up at Sam, who was watching him carefully, and looked away, smiling even bigger. "Thanks, Danny. Um… backatcha."

Sam rolled her eyes. Danny climbed out of Sam's lap and kissed Jack on the cheek, a very drooly kiss with his mouth half-open. "Great, thanks," Jack muttered, wiping off the side of his face with the back of his hand while Sam laughed discreetly.

"Why don't we go to the food court for an early lunch, then take all this stuff to the car and go over to the toy store?" Sam suggested.

"Works for me, I didn't eat breakfast this morning," Jack said, getting to his feet with Danny in his arms.

Sam piled their latest bag into the stroller and pushed it, leaving Danny to keep Jack company and continue to cheer him up. The food court turned out to be the most crowded part of the mall. They found a table and Sam said, "Why don't you stay here with the stroller and Danny and I'll get the food… any requests?"

"Nah, just get me something wherever you decide."

"Okay."

When Sam got back to the table with a crowded tray, Danny was in a wooden high chair in between the two regular chairs. She set the tray down and said, "I got him a Happy meal with nuggets so he can probably feed himself."

"I'm blaming you when the doc complains about what we fed him then," Jack informed her as they started dividing up their respective meals.

Sam didn't mind. She wanted to have most of her attention available for Jack, in case he wanted to talk more. Sure enough, after eating methodically for several minutes, he glanced up at her, saw that she was looking at him, and sighed. "It's weird," he admitted.

"I'm sure it is."

"I mean, I know it's weird for you too, but…"

"That's completely different," she said quickly.

"I know. It's just… honestly, it hasn't been bad like I would have thought… being around another little boy. It's actually… been mostly good. Carol just caught me by surprise… because she knows Sarah and all, so it brought up… stuff. But Danny's brought up stuff too. _Good _stuff. Made me remember lots of stuff, but not in a sad way. Just… in a fond way. I like being around him. A lot. Don't tell him I said that when he's big again though."

"Yes, s… Yes. Of course. I won't."

Jack looked back down at his sandwich and asked, "Did what she said bother you too?"

"Of course it did!" Sam said indignantly. "I couldn't believe she just casually mentioned…"

"No, not that. The other part. That Danny looked like his _mother._"

"Oh," Sam said quietly, meeting his eyes and finding herself completely incapable of looking away, or lying. "No. No, it didn't."

They looked at each other with similarly intense expressions that were still very soft at the same time, realizing that was as much as either of them could say about any of that. Actually, they had probably said too much as it was.

"SAM! CATSUP!"

Sam blinked quickly and looked down at her plate, then at Daniel. As she fumbled with the little catsup packet, she said quickly, "I mean, it was a natural assumption for her to make, you pointed out his hair and eyes yourself earlier."

"Yeah." Jack went back to his meal and they didn't say anything else about it, although both of them found themselves smiling when the other wasn't looking.


	9. Close Encounters of the Pete Kind

A/N: So, this is actually the chapter where that note about this story taking place before Chimera is relevant.

Ch 9

After lunch, they took everything back to the truck and drove over to the toy store. Jack was back in his good mood, but Sam wasn't entirely certain it wasn't exaggerated to keep them from worrying about him. Maybe a trip to the toy store would be just as good for Jack as Danny.

They got a basket and set Danny in it. It was getting close to his normal nap time, so he didn't object to the ride as he had done with the stroller. They had found the more boring things like diapers, sippy cups, baby forks and spoons, and a portable booster seat, and were perusing the toy aisles, showing Danny things they thought he might like and asking what he thought.

As they had expected, he was thrilled with the large Duplo Legos, and Lincoln Logs were a big hit as well. They found a package of little plastic dinosaurs that Sam was convinced were a choking hazard.

"So we watch him while he plays with them," Jack suggested. "Well… if Janet thinks it's okay," he added.

They picked out several books, including one about Egypt that was a little advanced, but Sam wanted to see if he was drawn to the pictures in it, and maybe even the hieroglyphs. She found a plush triceratops that Danny hugged tightly and refused to put down, and Jack found a remote controlled T-Rex with light up eyes that moved and roared. He also added a GI Joe and a toy airplane.

"Are those for him or you?" Sam asked, smiling.

"Yes?" Jack answered, picking up a Mr. Potato Head. He wrinkled his nose suddenly, and looked at Sam, who was doing the same thing. They both quickly located the source of the unpleasant smell: Danny. Danny's diaper, to be more specific.

"Oh man… you couldn't wait till we got back to the base?" Jack asked Danny, who merely shrugged and started swinging his legs.

Sam looked in the diaper bag nervously. "I've never…" she started.

"I'll do it," Jack said, taking her by surprise. "Look, it's not that complicated or anything but I doubt you want your first dirty diaper to be in a bathroom at Toys 'R Us… it won't exactly make things easier. Granted, I haven't done one of these in… well over a decade, but hopefully it's like riding a bike."

"Thank you," she said gratefully. He nodded, shouldering the diaper bag and picking Danny up.

"When you're back to your normal self again, you are going to owe me big time," he told the kid. "We'll find you," he added to Sam.

She nodded and watched them go, then looked around. They were on the game aisle, but most of the games were for older kids. She spotted some familiar yellow faces and grinned, wheeling the rapidly filling cart down the aisle for a closer inspection. Who would have thought they made a Simpsons chess set? It was perfect. Silly and perfect. She hid it in the bottom of the basket, hoping she'd be able to sneak it past Jack until they got back to the base, and moved on to the next aisle so he wouldn't have a chance of spotting it on the shelf.

Finding herself on a row of balls, skateboards, and scooters, she picked up a few smaller, softer balls than the ones they'd found on the base for Danny to play with, and she was examining a little basketball hoop when somebody called, "Samantha Carter?"

She turned towards the voice cautiously. What was this, run into old acquaintances day? Although the man approaching her looked vaguely familiar, she had no idea where she had seen him before. "Yes," she answered cautiously. "I'm sorry… do I know you?"

The man, who was carrying several packages of water balloons and three sling shots, smiled and patted his chest absently. "Pete Shanahan? I'm a friend of Mark's… I was his roommate at college. We met at his birthday party last year… and at his wedding… and a few other times before that."

"Oh, right, of course. Sorry. Um… how are you?"

"I'm good. I transferred to Denver a while ago. I'm ah… getting supplies. Lot of new recruits, have to be broken in, you know…"

She looked at the stuff in his hands and thought he looked more like he was stocking up for summer camp, but she kept the comment to herself.

"What about you? You're uh… buying a lot of toys, I see."

"Well… yeah," Sam said evasively.

"Well, after you're done shopping, do you maybe want to get a cup of coffee or…"

Sam cringed. Really, really no. Mark wouldn't appreciate that though. Where were her two ready-made excuses when she needed them?

"SAAAAAAAAM!" a loud little voice called.

"Over here," she called back quickly, just as Jack found them.

"Hey, there she is," Jack said to Danny. He was still holding the little boy in one arm, and when he reached them he was looking back and forth between Sam and Pete cautiously, trying to figure out what was going on and how he should react.

Danny leaned out of Jack's arms, holding his arms out for Sam, and she took him automatically and settled him on her hip while Jack deposited the diaper bag in the seat of the basket. "That was not the highlight of my day so far," he said, referring to his lovely experience changing the dirty diaper.

Sam smiled at him, rubbing Danny's back. He was getting sleepy, she could tell. "Um, Jack, this is a friend of my brother's. Pete Shanahan, Colonel Jack O'Neill."

The men shook hands, both clearly very uncomfortable with the strange situation. Finally, Pete said, "Sorry, Sam, I didn't know you were… Mark never said you had a kid or anything."

"Oh, Daniel's our… I mean Jack's… nephew." She hoped her CO wouldn't notice the "accidental" slip… and hoped that Pete would.

"Oh. That explains it then."

"Dad told me your brother lives in San Diego," Jack said, confused.

"He moved to Denver about two years ago," Sam explained.

"Oh."

"But I've known Mark since college," Pete interjected.

"Oh," Jack repeated, nodding much too enthusiastically for the situation.

Jack picked up a Nerf football off a nearby shelf and started rolling it in his hands awkwardly, needing something to do. This was weird. The guy wouldn't hit on Sam with Jack and a kid right there, would he? And was Sam trying to get rid of this Pete character, or Jack and Danny?

"Well," Sam finally said, shifting Danny in her arms. "As you can see, it's almost time for this guy's nap, so we'd better finish up here. Tell Mark I said hi - I'm sure you'll see him way before I do."

"Okay. I will. Hey, it was great to run into you. And… nice to meet you, Colonel O'Neill."

"Oh yeah. You too."

Sam picked up on the underlying sarcasm that was usually there when he was forced to play diplomat on another planet and hid a smile as he took over the basket and started pushing it down the aisle while Pete went the other way.

"That was really awkward," Sam mumbled one they were a safe distance away. "I've met that guy at least six or seven times and I still couldn't even remember his name."

She was mainly talking to herself, but the information she volunteered made Jack feel a lot better. "We really should get him back," she said, shifting Danny to her other arm. He got heavy after a while.

"Almost, I want to get one more thing," Jack insisted, wheeling the cart to the back of the store where the large toys were - bikes, battery powered mini Jeeps and what not. "You think he's big enough for a tricycle?"

"A tricycle? Do you think General Hammond will allow that on the base?"

"We have to get him a tricycle," Jack insisted, pulling out one of the display ones. Sam set Danny on it and helped him get his feet on the pedals as Jack held it still by the handlebars.

Danny's feet reached. He looked up at them, excited but not knowing what to do. "Here, push your feet like this…" Sam leaned over him awkwardly from behind, her hands on the handlebars as well, and pushed him forward so he could see how his feet were meant to move. He caught on quickly and took off down the aisle.

"Are you sure we should get him something to make him move faster?" Sam asked after they had caught him.

"Yeah. We have to," Jack said, for the second time.

"Why?"

He ran a hand through his hair and said, "All right… he never got one, okay? Or a bike either, for that matter. So I thought…"

"He never had a bike? Ever?"

"No. Well, he said when he was little, he was always on digs with his parents or they were working with museums. Then after that…" he trailed off hesitatingly.

"Yeah," Sam agreed, nodding. For someone who was so attuned to other people's feelings and histories, Daniel really didn't like to talk about his own childhood. Still, they both knew the basics, although Sam realized that Jack seemed to know more than she did. "I'm sure General Hammond won't mind the tricycle. As long as we get a helmet too."

Jack grinned and grabbed one of the boxes of disassembled tricycles. "Great. Let's go."


	10. Back at the Base

A/N: I love it when anybody takes time to review, even if it's just to say LOL, but I especially appreciated Loriel Eris on that last one. Welcome, and thanks!

Ch 10

Teal'c entered the infirmary and smiled pleasantly at Dr. Fraiser. "Good afternoon, Dr. Fraiser."

"Hi, Teal'c, what can I do for you?"

"I was wondering when Major Carter, Daniel Jackson, and Colonel O'Neill will return."

"They should be back soon, they said after lunch… I wonder how it went. They've taken much longer than I expected. I hope nothing went wrong," Janet said, frowning.

She did not have long to worry, because the missing members of SG-1 entered. They all looked pretty tired. Jack was carrying at least twelve bags. Sam was carrying the diaper bag and Danny, who was sound asleep. They looked exhausted, a little wrinkled, and sported a few stains here and there, but they looked happy.

"Hey, there you are, we were just wondering when you'd turn up," Janet said, following Teal'c over to them. They helped take some of their purchases.

"There's more in the truck," Jack said.

"I will take Daniel Jackson to the VIP suite and put him in his crib for a nap. I shall stand guard over him while he sleeps so that you may work for the remainder of the day."

Janet smiled. There were many things about that sentence she never expected to hear Teal'c say. "Oh… yeah," Sam said hesitantly, looking down at the head on her shoulder. "Thanks, Teal'c. I do have a lot of work to do… but maybe I should go with you and put him down, you know, so we don't wake him up."

Teal'c tilted his head with a small smile. "Excellent idea, Major Carter. Allow me to take your diaper bag."

Sam and Teal'c went down to the VIP room while Jack started helping Janet go through the bags of stuff they'd bought to see what should go where.

Sam carefully put Danny down in the pack-and-play, covered him with his new dinosaur blanket, and put the stuffed triceratops in the crib with him. He just looked so angelic when he was sleeping. She stroked his hair and kissed his head, then noticed Teal'c watching her carefully and blushed slightly, feeling ridiculous.

"As I believe I have said before, Major Carter, you would make an excellent mother."

"Oh please, Teal'c. I can barely get the diapers to stay on and I'm still too scared to go near a dirty one," she said with a dismissive shrug. "I've got to get to the lab."

vvvvvvvvvv

Around five, Sam called it quits for the day in the lab and went to the infirmary, expecting Danny to be there with Janet.

"Hey, Sam."

"Hey Jan. Where's Danny?"

"I assume he's still with Teal'c and Colonel O'Neill. They haven't even brought him by for a change."

"Wow, that's… odd."

"Maybe Colonel O'Neill's lost all track of time playing with all those new toys you guys bought."

"That's… actually a definite possibility," Sam agreed, laughing. "Want to come find out with me?"

"Absolutely."

As they approached the VIP suite they knew they were right. The door was only partially closed, and they peeked around the corner to see what was going on. Danny was sitting on the floor, his back to them, shrieking with laughter.

Jack was… putting on a show, for lack of a better phrase. To a captive little audience of one. Teal'c was sitting close by as well. Jack had a Barbie (some of the people had brought some rather strange toys up for Danny to play with - things either way too old or young for him, or things typically for girls) in one hand and GI Joe in another. A mechanical puppy that barked and did back flips was on the floor in front of him, along with a Hero Turtle.

They had the basketball goal set up - only sideways and without the net, so it was just a big hoop sitting vertically on the ground. "That looks kind of like a Stargate," Sam whispered to Janet, who shushed her promptly as Jack began speaking once Danny's laughter died down.

Jack picked up the puppy and started talking really fast in a slightly nasal voice. "Look how amazing this planet is you guys. I'm going to take all these really old rocks home and add them to my collection of really old rocks. Hey, does anybody remember that civilization in Mesopotamia that's been dead for thousands of years?"

He set the dog down quickly and picked up the GI Joe again. "Forcryinoutloud just pick up your rocks so we can go home. There's nothing here but trees and bugs."

Then he put on a ridiculously high-pitched voice, picked up the Barbie, and said, "Actually sir according to these readings there are naquada deposits all over the place. I'll need to take lots of samples while keeping an eye out for the dangerous radiation levels from those three suns."

"I shall accompany you, Major Carter," said the Hero Turtle in a very deep voice.

"My knee hurts," GI Joe contributed.

"Hey, did anybody hear that?" the puppy asked.

"It sounded like APOPHIS," GI Joe said, while Jack looked to Teal'c pointedly.

Teal'c made the remote control T-Rex walk towards the miniature SG-1, making it roar as well. The lights flashed and made an electronic beeping sound. "KREE!" Teal'c bellowed. "I am Apophis."

Janet had to bite her tongue to keep from laughing out loud. "I will imprison you all. Even you, Teal'c - the strongest First Prime I ever had."

Jack made the puppy say, "Oh no what are we gonna do?"

Then he picked up GI Joe and barked, "Carter, think of something!"

The Barbie went over to the 'Stargate' and said, "If we all apply as much force as possible from the same direction and have enough leverage, and calculate the distance between Apophis and the Stargate, factoring in the size of the gate and allowing for…"

"CARTER!" GI Joe barked.

All of mini-SG-1 made their way rather jauntily to the back of the gate, while Teal'c continued to march the dinosaur towards them, saying, "KREE! You will worship me and bring me snacks. I require a new hat as well."

"Now!" Barbie-Carter exclaimed. Hero-Turtle-Teal'c knocked over the Stargate and 'flattened' T-Rex Apophis with it.

"Once again you have thwarted me!" Teal'c cried. "You are truly the bravest and most formidable warriors I have ever encountered. I am no match for you."

"Apophis, KREE!" Jack made the Hero Turtle yell. Then he set the flipping puppy next to the dinosaur, positioned it so that it would flip over on top of the dead-dinosaur-Apophis, and turned it on.

"Just another day in the life of SG-1," Barbie-Carter declared as the puppy yipped mechanically and crashed into the T-Rex. The real Carter couldn't help notice that every time her CO did his little Barbie-Carter voice that he made it higher and higher.

"Yes. Let's go home and eat some cake!" GI Joe declared.

"The end!" Jack declared in his normal voice.

Danny started clapping loudly, giggling. Sam and Janet joined in the clapping, pushed open the door, and entered the room.

Jack looked absolutely terrified at being caught playing. "Er… exactly how long have you ladies been standing there?" he asked.

"Long enough to know that you won't be winning any Oscars this year, Colonel," Janet told him.

"Maybe a Daytime Emmy though," Sam said, still laughing. She was glad Janet had witnessed that with her - she doubted anybody would believe her otherwise.

"Smart-ass," Jack grumbled, clearly embarrassed.

"Ummmmm," Danny said, pointing at Jack. Sam sat down behind Danny and pulled him into her lap.

Janet perched behind them on the coffee table as Jack casually said, "Well, Teal'c. They've seen us. Now, unfortunately, we have to kill them."

"Indeed," Teal'c agreed.

Sam laughed and ruffled Danny's hair. "How long have you been up?"

"Longtime," he answered. "Dack and Tea are funny!"

"Yeah, they're a hoot and a holler," Janet agreed.

vvvvvvvvvv

After dinner in the commissary, SG-1 went back to the VIP room. Teal'c sat on the floor with Danny and they started playing with the Duplo blocks they had bought earlier. While Danny was otherwise occupied, Jack turned to his 2IC. "We're really going to have to pass Danny around a lot tomorrow. Teal'c and I have training with the new recruits, and Hammond wants you back on your regular duties - he's decided there's nothing else anybody but the linguists can do with the trunk for the time being."

"Yes, sir," Sam grumbled. She didn't like being taken off of the assignment - even though it wasn't her area of expertise at all. She still felt like she owed it to Daniel to be working on it. Well, she did have the surface scans on her laptop... if she disconnected from the base mainframe, what the General didn't know couldn't hurt him, right?

"And just a warning - he still keeps trying to get to his office."

Janet showed up and offered to take Danny for a bath before she went home for the evening. They accepted quickly - there was something weird about bathing one of their team-mates, even if he was currently two and a half years old. They were much more comfortable leaving that up to the doctor.

They straightened up the room while Danny was gone, and Teal'c once again retired to his own quarters for the evening. Once they were alone, Sam turned to Jack and said, "I got you something."

"Oh yeah?"

"At the toy store," she added, going over to the drawer where she had hidden the game and pulling it out, but keeping it behind her back. Jack rocked onto his feet off the sofa and approached her with an intrigued smile.

"Why did you…"

"Well, I er… saw it when you were changing Danny and it was too perfect to pass up."

"Ah, so this is payment for the dirty diaper." He tried to peer around her to see what she was hiding, but she turned along with him so that he couldn't see.

"It's kind of silly really," Sam said, suddenly feeling shy about the way the simple gift was getting blown out of proportion. She gave up evading him and let him snag the box behind her back.

"Sweet!" he exclaimed when he saw the box. "Carter, this is awesome! I didn't even know they made this. Thanks. Want to play?"

"Sure."

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

When Janet brought them a sleepy Daniel in his new footy pajamas (the white ones with the dinosaur pattern,) they were in the middle of a game of Simpsons chess. Sam was finding the fact that all the pieces were Simpsons characters distracting. Especially because Jack was doing dialogue from the show with captured pieces, in voice imitations that were somehow even worse than the ones he'd had earlier for his little toy SG-1.

"Oh, you guys are in the middle of something," Janet said when she saw what they were doing.

"That's okay, Janet, we can stop till he goes to sleep," Sam said, smiling at the sleepy boy in Janet's arms.

"I can put him to bed if you want," Janet offered instead. "I mean, I never took a turn with him today, except for his bath. I don't mind. I'll read him one of his new books. He's pretty sleepy already."

"Thanks, Doc."

"Sure, Colonel."

"After he goes to sleep we're going to put together his tricycle so we can give it to him in the morning," Sam added as she captured Jack's Bart. Janet put Danny down and he walked over to the little pile of books they had bought him. He rummaged through them, completely messing up the pile of course, and selected the large Egyptology book.

"Jack, look," Sam said quickly, nodding in Daniel's direction. He looked over at him as well and laughed: Danny could barely carry the large book but was struggling bravely. "Do you th…"

"Yeah, maybe," Jack agreed. "Or maybe he just likes the shiny cover."

"Jan, don't you think he's acting like he remembers things?" Sam asked, turning to get her friend's opinion. Janet, however, was obviously thinking about something else. She was looking back and forth between Jack and Sam incredulously. "What?" Sam finally asked nervously.

"I just… was surprised to hear you calling Colonel O'Neill 'Jack.'"

"Oh," Sam said, blushing. The alarming thing - to her - was that she hadn't even done it intentionally that time… after they were off-duty and around Danny it had just sort of happened. "It was confusing Danny, all the sirs, Colonels, and Carters," she explained quickly, pretending to return all of her concentration to the chess board.

"Of course," Janet said, taking the book Danny handed her. "Okay we're not going to read all of this, mister. Just for a little bit."

Danny ran over to the bed where he had left his dinosaur, and hugged it close to his body with one arm as he trotted back over to Janet.

"Whatcha got there, Danny?" Janet called, looking at the cute stuffy. It figured that Daniel at any age would like dinosaurs and books with mummies on the cover.

"Dino-saw," he explained, holding up the stuffy to show her.

"You are way too cute like this," Janet told him as he climbed back up into her lap.

Jack won the inaugural chess match with his new Simpsons set. When he finally captured Sam's Homer-King once and for all, he let out a triumphant crow that made Danny, who had just drifted off, jerk awake in Janet's lap and look over towards them in sleepy surprise.

"Colonel, please," Janet scolded.

"Sorry," Jack whispered, waving at Danny. "You just witnessed a historic event, buddy."

"Kay," Danny said around the thumb in his mouth before closing his eyes again, obviously not very impressed with Jack's chess skills.

Sam was still studying the chess board, working backwards to try to determine at what point she had messed up. "It's these silly pieces, they threw me off," she muttered to herself.

"Excuses, excuses. Let's get started on the trike."

"I can stay in here with Danny if you want to go put it together somewhere else," Janet offered.

"Really? That would be a lot easier, we wouldn't have to worry about being so quiet," Sam said.

"You don't mind, Doc?"

"Not at all. I'm happy to baby-sit."

"Yeah, especially when he's already asleep," Jack said as he got up to get the big box the tricycle came in.

vvvvvvvvvv

"Wow, I'm guessing that wasn't your first time putting one of those together," Sam commented. She had been expecting a long debate about using the directions and who got to actually assemble the tricycle, but once she had found the proper tools, the process had taken less than half an hour.

"Nope. Tricycles, bikes, Big Wheels, swing sets… you get the hang of it pretty fast." He pointed at the crumpled directions with the screwdriver in his hand and winked as he added, "It's not exactly rocket science."


	11. The SGC is NOT a Playground

A/N: Wow, the reviews from the last chapter were especially sweet. I'm told that a Hero Turtle is the same thing as a Ninja Turtle, for iamdragonrider and anybody else who was curious. I didn't realize they have different names.

Ch 11

Danny woke up early the next morning. Very early. Fully refreshed and as full of as much energy as it was possible to contain in his little body, he scrambled out from under the covers and turned his attention to the person nearest him: Sam. She was asleep on her stomach next to him. He pulled the covers off of her and threw himself onto her back. "WAKE UP SAM!"

She groaned, hoping the wetness soaking through her tee-shirt was drool and not pee. "Danny, it's so early," she complained. "Don't you want to sleep a little more?"

"Nope," he answered, crawling over her to get to the edge of the bed and get down. She stopped him, wrapping an arm around him and sliding him back across the bed to her. He laughed and squirmed, trying to get away.

"Hey, people are trying to sleep in here you know!" Jack called from the couch.

"Dack, no sweep! Wet's pway!" Still trying to get away from Sam, Danny squirmed around. She tickled him and he giggled and tried to retaliate.

"Hey, no giggling, especially this early in the morning," Jack ordered, coming over to the bed with the intention of getting Danny off of Sam - he was jumping around on her and while she didn't seem to mind, and he'd certainly seen her withstand far greater tortures, it still couldn't be all that pleasant.

Danny, however, was having far too much fun even to acknowledge the falsely stern tone of Jack's voice. Apparently Jack's stern-Colonel-voice had about as much affect on Danny at two as it did on Daniel at thirty-whatever. Nonplussed, Danny got to his feet on the mattress and started bouncing around. When he noticed Jack standing next to the bed, he bounced right off of him and kept jumping.

Sam, also noticing Jack's sudden proximity and feeling strange about lying in bed in front of him, sat up straight and tried to look as collected as she usually did - which only added to the ridiculousness of the situation, as her wrinkled tee-shirt had several drool stains on it and her hair was absolutely a disaster. She made another grab for Danny, worried he was going to bounce right off the bed despite all their precautions. Danny, at the same time, bounced up and made a grab for Jack, catching handfuls of his grey tee-shirt.

The end result was that all three of them ended up in a heap on the bed, and as Jack found himself off-balance and falling, he barely managed to avoid landing on Danny. In avoiding squashing Danny, he squashed Sam instead, who shrieked louder than Danny and tried to push him away, but Danny had jumped on top of both of them and sounded like he was having the time of his life.

With all the movement, noise, and general chaos, not to mention the early morning hour, it was understandable that neither Jack nor Sam noticed that they were all being loud enough to cause a commotion in the hallway. General Hammond pushed through the gathering crowd outside the VIP quarters, closely followed by Dr. Fraiser and Teal'c, and knocked on the door once even though he knew the people inside couldn't hear him, and let himself in.

When Teal'c entered the room last and saw his three teammates in a tangled and laughing pile on the bed, he wisely shut the door behind himself so that none of the other SGC personnel would find anything interesting to talk about. "Good morning, people!" Hammond bellowed loudly when their entrance went unnoticed by his officers.

Jack and Sam both froze, Sam on her knees in the middle of the bed, dangling Danny upside down over Jack. "Sam, Sam, putmedown!" Danny squawked. Sam set him down on the mattress next to Jack and scrambled to her feet next to the bed, smoothing her shirt and adjusting her pajama pants, which were all twisted, as Danny promptly jumped on top of Jack, unaware of their new audience.

"Good morning, sir."

Jack got to his feet beside her quickly while she did, evading Danny, but Sam was much faster. "General."

Janet had to stifle at how funny they looked, hair and clothes all rumpled from sleep and the early-morning wrestling session they'd interrupted, yet both standing at attention, demeanor and faces parade-ready even if their appearance was not.

Danny tugged on Jack's hand from where he was standing behind them on the bed, and when he was ignored he began climbing up Jack's back for a piggy-back ride. Jack tried to grab a hold of him but couldn't reach. Sam pulled him off Jack's back and tried to hold him, but he was still too excited and squirmy to be still. She set him down and he ran over to all the new people in the room to greet them, while Jack and Sam kept all their attention on General Hammond, wondering what he was going to do or say about the strange situation.

General Hammond himself was unsure of what to say or do. He knew putting them in such a domestic situation was dangerous and really unfair to both of them, but there was nothing to be done about that. Besides, they wouldn't want Danny left in anybody else's care anyway. And he felt bad about the expectations placed upon them, but they placed them on themselves as well.

Finally, he shook his head and decided not to say anything about it at all. If they were going to give him a reason not to trust them, they certainly would have done it a long time ago. "Good morning, people. I realize it's early - as I'm sure you do too - but you're causing a disturbance on my base. Especially you, little fellow," Hammond said, looking down at the cute little boy who was tugging on the leg of his pants and smiling up at him.

"Me?" Danny asked innocently.

"Yes. You." Hammond scooped the boy up and said, "I'm glad you've had your fun with your… team… this morning because you're going to have some new babysitters today. Major Carter, there's a backlog of gate diagnostics I need you to run, among several other things."

"Yes, sir."

"Colonel O'Neill, you and Teal'c have training sessions all morning. After lunch I want you working on your overdue mission reports."

"Yes, sir." Jack was so grateful at the way the General was apparently choosing to handle their 'situation' that he didn't even complain about having to do his reports.

vvvvvvvvvv

Sam found herself in the unfamiliar position of having trouble focusing on her work that morning. She couldn't help but wonder what Danny was doing. Colonel Pierce was watching him at the moment, and while Sam knew he had kids of his own and that Danny was in excellent hands, she was still a little worried. It was the first time Danny would be away from all of them - Jack, Teal'c, Janet, and Sam - for any length of time.

She tried to get through her work as quickly as possible, and it occurred to her that while, yes, she had _designed _the dialing program in the first place, after all these years, there really should be plenty of other people who knew it as well as she did. Or at least well enough for her not to be expected to do such a boring, menial diagnostic.

Now in a fairly foul mood that would normally be more characteristic of her CO than herself, Sam found a stopping point and went to check on the progress of the scientists working on Daniel's trunk. As she had feared but expected, they hadn't made any progress.

After running it through tons of diagnostics, all they could say definitively was that it was a trunk-like box. A big alien box that appeared seamless, but contained thousands of pages worth of indecipherable writing on it. Now grumpier than before, she went back to her own work.

vvvvvvvvvv

Jack and Teal'c sent the new (and incredibly worn out) recruits off to the showers. "Let's get Danny and go to lunch."

"Should we not shower first, O'Neill?"

"You saying I stink, T?"

"I did not say that, O'Neill. But if you are asking, yes. You do not smell good."

"Hey, thanks, buddy. But we don't have that much time before the next group of kids comes in. Come on."

They found Danny with Colonel Pierce and half his team. Danny was drawing. With markers. "Those better be washable," Jack said as he held Danny up and examined the markings on his arms and hands.

"They are," Pierce assured him. "Glad you showed up, Jack. I didn't volunteer to feed the kid, you know."

"Yeah, yeah. Thanks anyway. Say bye, Danny."

"BYE!" Danny called loudly, waving at everyone. As Jack carried him out of the room, followed by Teal'c, Danny started updating them on everything that had happened to him since they had last seen each other. Unfortunately, there was a language barrier. Jack picked up on his own name and Teal'c's sprinkled liberally through the chattering, but that was about it.

He glanced at Teal'c and said, "T, you don't speak toddler by any chance, do you?"

"I do not, O'Neill," Teal'c stated, then deadpanned, "However it seems to be similar to Ewok."

Jack gave a sarcastic laugh. Danny was still talking. "Dack, Dack, Tea, I hungwy."

"Good, cuz we're going to lunch."

"Sam?"

"Ah… I dunno about that, she's got a lot of work to do today and…"

"SAM!"

"We'll see," Jack said, flipping Danny over to distract him with an airplane ride the rest of the way to the commissary. "Ah, if only you were this easy to distract when you're full-sized and boring us all to death with lectures about dead languages and crap," he commented with a sigh as Teal'c held the door open to the commissary.

"I do not believe Daniel Jackson would normally allow you to use him as a UAV, O'Neill," Teal'c commented, grabbing trays for both of them.

Sam didn't show up for lunch, but Danny was happy enough with Teal'c and Jack. They put him in the multi-colored little booster seat that had taken Jack twenty minutes to put together the first time, and both Jack and Teal'c took turns helping Danny with his lunch so the full-grown men didn't have to sacrifice their own meals for Danny's. A few scowls from Jack to the Airmen who apparently found this amusing to watch quickly put them in their place.

By the end of lunch, Danny was coated in a nice layer of mac and cheese, catsup, hot dog particles, and smooshed carrots on top of the magic marker tattoos from earlier. "This kid needs to be hosed off," Jack declared.

"Shall we take him outside? I believe there is a hose by the tactical vehicles."

Jack tried to figure out whether or not Teal'c was joking. The guy's delivery was so deadpan that sometimes even Jack couldn't tell. "Um, I was thinking more along the lines of giving him a bath."

"I believe Dr. Fraiser is unavailable until three o'clock," Teal'c reminded him.

"Oh yeah. You're right. Okay, you go wait for the new recruits, just in case I'm late. I'm going to go shower off with him real quick before I take him to… where's he going next?"

"Felger," Teal'c supplied.

"What? That guy can't take care of _himself, _much less…"

"I believe his lab assistant, Chloe, will be there as well. She has much experience watching her siblings' offspring, O'Neill."

"How do you know those types of things?" Jack asked as they dumped their trays and headed out of the commissary.

"It is simple. I am Teal'c."

"Right."

vvvvvvvvvvv

Sam poked her head into Hammond's office nervously. The General looked up from his computer and said, "Major, what can I do for you?"

"I'm sorry to bother you, sir…"

Hammond got up and joined her in the doorway, since she was either too nervous about whatever she wanted to talk to him about, or she had decided to test the door frame's structural integrity. "What is it?"

"I was taking a quick break and I decided to pop in on Danny. He's supposed to be in the VIP room with Felger and Chloe but they haven't seen him. I can't find him anywhere, and…" Hammond took her arm and started leading her down the hallway so that they could begin looking for him while she talked. "Janet's busy in the infirmary with four SG teams that just came back, so I know he's not in there, and the Colonel and Teal'c have one more training session before they're finished for the day and…"

Hammond was about to interrupt her to try to reassure her that he was certain Danny was just fine, wherever he was, but was saved the trouble when they were both interrupted by a very naked, wet, soapy little boy careening around the corner and running towards them.

"Danny!" Sam exclaimed.

Hammond had barely gotten over the sudden and strange appearance of the boy when they were joined by Jack, dripping wet as well and only wearing damp BDU pants, running towards them barefoot and carrying a towel.

"Daniel Nicholas Jackson, get back here!" he ordered futilely.

As he spoke, he slipped in some of the suds that were flying off of Danny, and crashed loudly to the floor, sliding into the wall just for good measure. He groaned and pushed himself up into a sitting position with a wince.

The action spurred the stunned General and Major back into action. Before Danny could slip and fall as well, Sam scooped him up carefully, ignoring the boy's chattering as she followed Hammond to the fallen Colonel's aid. Hammond gave his somewhat-sudsy 2IC a hand to his feet and patted him on the shoulder. "You okay, Jack?"

"Yeah, good thing this nice soft concrete wall and floor broke my fall." Attempting to look somewhat dignified, he brushed off his sleeve and added, "Carter," with a professional nod.

"Sir," she replied, now trying hard not to smile or laugh once the surprise of the situation had worn off.

"Colonel, aren't you supposed to be training new recruits right now?" Hammond asked as Jack wrapped the towel he was carrying around Danny and took him from Sam.

Not answering his CO right away, Jack was, at the moment, preoccupied with the pint-sized source of his current discomfort. Holding Danny up at eye-level, he said, "Well, it's official. You are now _literally _a pain in my ass."

"Jack!"

"Sir!"

"What? It's _Daniel." _

"Pain in d'ass," Danny contributed, pressing both his palms to Jack's cheeks.

Sam stifled a laugh in the back of her hand while Hammond muttered, "Oh brother," then searched around for a change in topic. "Colonel, you were about to explain to me why you're out here instead of conducting your last training session of the day."

"Yes, sir. Well, I thought I had time but the kid wouldn't be still, and there was a whole big thing with the soap and… anyway. He was wearing his lunch and covered in marker, and I needed a shower after the morning sessions…"

"I understand, Colonel. Major, could you escort Danny back to your room and get him situated with his new babysitters before getting back to work?"

"Yes, sir." Danny was passed back to Sam once more.

"Thank you. And Colonel O'Neill, get yourself dressed and down to the training room ASAP. And… make sure you get the shampoo out of your ears."

"Yes, sir," Jack said smartly, patting Danny on the head, then tapping his 2IC on the shoulder. "Tag. You're it." He walked off down the hall at a brisk pace, although somewhat stiffly, carefully trying to avoid the puddles in the hall.

"Sir, with your permission…"

"Dismissed, Major."

Hammond watched Major Carter struggle to hold onto the slippery little boy on her way to the elevator before going back to his office to call and have someone come dry the corridors before anybody else slipped and hurt themselves. As he picked up the phone, he shook his head and thought to himself that the SGC was really no place for a little boy, even one as cute as a little Daniel Jackson.

vvvvvvvvvv

Sam let herself into the VIP room, where a more-nervous-than-usual Felger was waiting with his assistant Chloe. "Oh you found him," Chloe said as Sam entered with Daniel held tightly in the towel.

"The Colonel was giving him a bath," Sam explained, smiling to herself at how weird the statement was. "So, Chloe, are you sure you don't mind…"

"No, we're looking forward to it. Right Jay?"

"Y-y-yeah. Always willing to do whatever we can to help SG-1."

"Thanks," Sam said, forcing a smile at him before turning back to Chloe, whom she knew would be the one _actually _watching Danny. Today Felger would be _her _assistant. "He usually takes a nap right about now but he might still be a little wound up, and I don't know what he had for lunch, so…"

"Don't worry, Major Carter. I watch my nieces and nephews all the time, he'll be fine."

"I know," she said, still reluctant to hand Danny over to her.

Picking up on her hesitation, Danny shied away from Chloe and said, "S-sam?"

"I have to go back to work for a while, Danny. Chloe and Jay are going to play with you though. This is Chloe. She's really nice, and she loves kids."

"Kay," Danny agreed. "I wuv you Sam."

Now more reluctant to leave than before, she kissed his wet hair and finally let Chloe take him. "I love you too, Danny. Be good, okay?"

"Okay. Bye bye!"

"He'll be fine," Chloe repeated.

"I know. And thanks. I'll be in the lab if anything happens. Otherwise, Teal'c will come get him at fifteen-thirty…"

"I know. Don't worry. Just go."

"Okay." Sam nodded and ruffled Danny's hair again. "Bye, Danny."

"Bye," he repeated, waving. He turned his attention to Chloe and tried to take off her glasses. Chuckling, Sam waved to Jay, who was preoccupied with the remote control T-Rex - either trying to take it apart, or just playing with it, she wasn't sure. She looked at her watch with a sigh and left, going back to work reluctantly.

vvvvvvvvvv

A/N: I have no idea if Daniel actually has a middle name or not, so I just gave him his grandfather's.


	12. Booboos

Ch 12

General Hammond was headed to the infirmary for his daily report from Dr. Fraiser when he was nearly bowled over by a little blur on a red tricycle. Since he couldn't very well yell at the child, he bellowed, "Colonel O'Neill!" instead.

True to form, O'Neill, Teal'c, Jay Felger, and Chloe all hurried round the corner, all arguing over who had let Danny escape as they chased him.

At the other end of the corridor, the end Danny was fast approaching on his tricycle, Dr. Fraiser emerged to see what all the commotion was about, sized up the situation quickly, and said, "Danny, freeze!"

Startled, Danny swerved and fell off his new tricycle. He crashed to the ground with the trike, his helmet and the tricycle making loud clattering noises surpassed only by his wails. He continued to scream loudly as all six adults surrounded him.

Janet, of course, wanted to make sure he was okay before she moved him, but Danny's instinct was to move. His other instinct was that he didn't want the lady who had poked him with needles anywhere near him when he was already hurt.

"Doc, back off," Jack said, crouching down next to the little boy and moving the tricycle aside. "Be still, Danny, just…"

Everyone was still talking at once, and little Danny was just about as unhappy as he could imagine being. He had been having a great time on his new toy, and now he was hurting and everyone was crowding around him and talking. He did the only thing he felt like doing. He rolled onto his stomach so he didn't have to see any of the people who were crowding him and talking so loudly, buried his face in his arms against the floor, and started screaming as loud as he could.

Jack felt carefully for broken bones, although since Danny was kicking his legs against the floor hard enough to scuff his new shoes, Jack was pretty sure there wasn't any long-term damage. "I think he's okay, he's just scared," he said quietly, rubbing the little boy's back gently.

"It's a good thing he had that helmet on," Janet commented, feeling his legs gently. "Well, his new pants are torn, and his knee is scraped and bleeding," Janet said after she had felt his front half as much as possible while he was trying to melt into the floor.

Sam, who was looking for everyone, ran down the corridor as she saw the clump of people and heard Danny crying. She pushed past Jay, Chloe, and the General and crouched down next to Jack, looking at Janet for an explanation. "What happened?" she demanded, although it was pretty clear he had fallen off his tricycle.

"Sam?" Danny asked, lifting his head cautiously and peeking around to see if it was really her.

"Are you okay?" Sam asked, alarmed at how red his face was and the amount of tears streaming down his face.

"No! I am not!" he wailed, throwing himself into her so hard that she stumbled backwards and would have toppled over if Jack hadn't caught her elbows from behind. Danny's helmet clacked painfully against her collarbone and chin, but she grimaced and bit her lip without making a sound.

"Hey, it's all right, Danny," Sam tried as she was helped to her feet while looking around for an explanation.

"We're pretty sure he's okay. He just took a big spill and it scared him," Jack said, still rubbing Danny's back.

Sam felt around for the buckle of the helmet and took it off, passing it to Teal'c. "Maybe he just needs some air," Sam said absently, heading away from the group, talking quietly to the crying boy.

They watched her go into the infirmary and Janet headed after her. "Doc, wait a few minutes," Jack suggested. Janet nodded. It took a few minutes to get everyone squared away anyway, after all the commotion. Jay and Chloe left, and Teal'c went to take the tricycle and helmet back to the VIP room. Hammond had to go make a phone call but promised to come back to the infirmary shortly. Jack and Janet headed to the infirmary finally, and found a scene similar to Danny's first day there.

Sam was sitting on the edge of one of the beds, talking quietly to Danny, who was still hiding his face in her shirt and sucking his thumb, although he wasn't crying anymore. She waved them over, still talking quietly to Danny, who shifted slightly so he could see them.

"Dat hurted me Dack," he finally said.

Jack chuckled. "I know, buddy. It looked like it hurt a lot. Are you okay now?"

Danny nodded and yawned. Janet quietly got a tray of supplies and crouched in front of them. "Saaaam…"

"Janet's going to clean up your knee, Danny. She's a lot better at it than me."

"That's for sure," Jack contributed. "Believe me, Danny, letting Sam near an injured leg should be a last resort."

"Thanks a lot," Sam said dryly.

Janet sighed and got to work. "Does anything else hurt, Danny, or just your knee?"

"Knee."

"Okay."

They carefully took off his shoes, socks, and pants so Janet could examine his legs carefully and clean up his scraped knee. She soon had him all patched up, although his camo cargo pants were ruined. The knee was torn and they were blood-stained. Danny was still not a happy camper. Left in his diaper and the dinosaur tee-shirt Chloe had put him in, he snuggled into Sam and refused to remove his thumb from his mouth.

When Janet was finished with his knee, but still wanted to examine the rest of him more carefully, Jack sat down next to them on the edge of the bed and tried to distract Danny with his yo-yo, which he pulled out of his pocket and offered the boy. Danny watched him play with it but made no move for it himself.

"What exactly happened?" Sam finally asked.

"I don't know… I found Felger, Chloe, and Teal'c in the gym with him, letting him ride his new tricycle around in there. Chloe was telling me how long he slept and what they did and everything, and he just slipped past all of us and tore off down the hall. A scientist happened to be getting on the elevator at the time and he got in, but we couldn't get there in time before the doors closed… Teal'c and I ran for the stairwell but we had to keep stopping to check which floor he was going to and make sure he hadn't stopped… by the time we realized he was on the infirmary level Jay and Chloe caught us up by waiting for the elevator… we all caught up to him, he got scared, he fell. That's about when you showed up."

"Poor little guy," Sam said sympathetically, stroking Danny's hair.

"Well, we won't let it happen again," Jack said firmly.

"I second that, Colonel," Hammond said, entering the infirmary. Jack and Sam moved to get to their feet but he waved it away, stopping next to Fraiser and surveying Danny. "I take it he's going to make it?"

"Yes, sir. Just a scraped knee. The only casualty was the pants, sir."

"Thank you, doctor. Now. Yesterday wasn't bad, probably because you took him off base half the day and brought him back exhausted… but this is no place for a two year old. I think today proved that. Aside from what happened this morning… there was the incident this afternoon and now this. I don't want to seem unsympathetic here, but I cannot have a naked, soapy child running around the base, nor can I have one tearing around on a tricycle. What if there had been an emergency situation while he was running amok in the corridors? Now. Today is Friday so I want you all gone for the weekend. Major Carter, Danny will be released to you until Monday morning, at which point you'll report back here and we'll discuss a longer-term arrangement."

"But, sir…" Sam started.

"Major. It's perfectly clear that he prefers you to anybody else. Are you refusing this assignment?"

"No, sir, of course not, it's just that… anybody can babysit, sir. I feel like I'm doing nothing to help get him back the way he was."

"You're not not doing anything, Major. Far from it. You're doing the most important job at the moment, which should be evident by the way that you calmed him down just now. Is there anything else?"

"No sir," she said quietly.

"Good. Then as soon as Dr. Fraiser releases him, you're free to go. And I do not want to see you on this base until Monday unless there is an emergency."

"Yes, sir."

"Good. Have fun, Major. Feel better Danny." He nodded to Jack and Janet and left.

"Great," Sam muttered.

"Teal'c and I can help you out, Carter, you don't have to take care of him by yourself," Jack said immediately.

Sam bristled again at the insinuation that she couldn't take care of a child by herself - and after all that had happened over the past few days! "I'm sure we'll be fine, sir," Sam said, getting to her feet and turning to Janet. "Are we done here?"

"Sure, Sam, but…"

"Thank you. I'll see you Monday." She left before either of them could object further.

Jack turned to Janet for an explanation after watching her leave. "What the hell?"

"I think she's a little… insecure."

"_Carter? _Are you serious?"

"About this sort of thing… yes. I think she's a little bit worried herself, about being solely responsible for him. So she took your offer to help as confirmation of her own fear that she _needs _help, and… well, she dug in her heels stubbornly like Sam always does when something… doesn't agree with her."

"But I wasn't disagreeing with her," Jack objected, still not understanding. "I mean, the kid's been stuck to her like a barnacle since he got… got here. Why would I think she can't…"

"I'm not saying you really think that, I'm saying she thinks you do."

"That's ridiculous, what did…"

"I don't know," Janet said, holding her hands up. "Why don't you go… help her pack up Danny's things. Try to talk to her before she goes."

"Okay." Jack got to his feet and headed out of the infirmary, then turned on his heels and poked his head back in. "Doc? What the hell am I supposed to say?"

Janet shrugged. "Honestly… I have no idea, sir."

"Gee, thanks."

"Good luck," she called after him.

When Jack got back to the VIP room, Teal'c was already helping Sam pack up Danny's stuff, and between the two of them, they were almost done. "Hey, need another hand?"

"We're almost done, sir."

"Look… I'm not sure what I… what you thought…"

"Doesn't matter, sir. General Hammond ordered me to take Danny home, that's what I'm doing. That's all there is to it."

"But… he didn't say you had to do ev… I mean I thought we had…" He turned to Teal'c for help.

Normally, he would turn to Daniel for help at this point, when his own Carter-to-English dictionary had a page missing… but Daniel, at the moment, was jumping on the bed and hugging his stuffed triceratops.

Teal'c offered help in a different, more Teal'c-like way. "Major Carter, I do not believe all of these things will fit in your car."

Sam stopped packing long enough to realize he was right. "Good point, Teal'c," she sighed.

"I can take some of it in my truck," Jack offered.

She started to respond, changed her mind, and said something else instead. "Thank you, sir. I'll just take some things home tonight that he'll need, and you can bring the rest over tomorrow whenever you like."

"Okay," he said hesitantly, looking at her carefully.

He still didn't quite get it. But he _sort of _got it… maybe. She wanted to take care of Danny by herself because she wanted to know that she could. He didn't get why that mattered, but apparently it did. "O…kay. Well. I'll just… help you get this stuff to your car then."

"Thank you, sir." Sam was surprised when he suddenly stopped the interrogation she had been expecting, but decided to take it and run. "Come on, Danny, we're going to my house for a while, okay?"

"Kay," he said, toddling after her obediently, since her arms were full. Teal'c followed as well. Jack grabbed a box of toys and the tricycle and hurried after them.

Loading up her car and moving the car seat from Jack's truck to her car took a while, but they finally got everything, including Danny, in. Teal'c said goodbye and left them alone discreetly. Jack leaned in to the back seat and ruffled Danny's hair. "Have fun, kid."

"Dack? Not coming wiff us?"

"No, sorry, little guy. But I'll see you soon. Be good, okay?"

"Kay," he answered uncertainly, looking confused.

Jack straightened up and shut the door. "Look… Carter. I'm not trying to piss you off here, I just don't get why you don't want any help. I think… I think whatever you thought I meant back there… wasn't what I meant at all."

"What exactly do you think I think you meant?" Sam asked, crossing her arms defensively.

"I… okay. I don't know what you just said." He gave her a wry smile and she looked away, but not before he caught that she was smiling too.

"That's… probably because it didn't make any sense," Sam admitted. "I don't know… what I meant. Or thought you meant… or thought you thought I thought you thought…"

He chuckled. "Okay. Well. Whatever it was… I didn't mean anything by it. I just like hanging out with Danny, you know. And… you're all right too." Sam rolled her eyes, refusing to look at him directly, but she was still smiling. Sensing he was on a roll, Jack added, "And it's not fair you get dumped with all the work just because Danny likes you best."

"Thank you." He smiled briefly when she finally looked back at him, and nodded. "I just… I need to do this by myself. I don't think I can explain why. I just… do."

"Okay."

He looked disappointed, Sam realized suddenly. Maybe she'd just been misinterpreting… lots of stuff. "Maybe tomorrow when you bring the rest of the stuff over, we can all go to the park or something," she suggested.

"Yeah? Okay. Sounds good."

She nodded, smiled, and got in the car finally. Jack peered through the back window and waved to Danny again, stepped back, and watched them go, more than a little confused. He wasn't used to having any sort of misunderstanding with Carter. Even when she was in full technobabble mode, she still always managed to make sure he understood what he needed to. He still didn't get what he'd said that had upset her in the first place… but apparently he'd done an okay job at fixing it anyway.


	13. A Bad Idea

A/N: I didn't really like leaving that last chapter off on a sort of sad note compared to the rest of this story, so... here we go. I only skimmed this time, during nap time, so there may be some mistakes in here. Oh, and the A/N from Chapter 1 explains about the cat.

Ch 13

Sam made a couple of quick trips to and from her car when she got home, bringing in Danny and all of the things he might need that night, while being sure to keep an eye on him the entire time. Luckily he was a little tired from his scare and the exertion of crying so much earlier.

Once Sam finally had everything inside, she turned to Danny, who was watching her expectantly. "What?" she asked.

"I'm hungwy."

"Oh. Right. I have to feed you…" Sam picked him up and went into the kitchen. "Now the question is… _what _am I going to feed you?" She set Danny down and he shrieked as soon as Sam opened the refrigerator. "What's wrong?" she asked, whipping back around to face him. He was watching Sam's cat, Quarks, who had just sauntered into the kitchen to inspect the goings-on.

"That's Quarks. He won't hurt you, Danny. He's been lonely here, with just Cassie to come over and feed him and play with him after school."

"Kee-cat?" Danny asked after watching the animal carefully.

"Yes, that's right! You're so smart… well, of course you are, you're Daniel… Anyway, he's a nice kitty cat, he won't hurt you."

Quarks jumped up on the counter and walked over to the can opener for his dinner. Danny clapped for the cat, impressed with his leaping abilities, and watched curiously as Sam opened a can of cat food and dumped it into his bowl. The cat began eating, unaware that he had a captive two-year-old audience.

"Now… that was easy, but what should I feed you? I don't exactly have a lot of groceries… and if I ordered pizza your first night here, Jan and the Colonel would never let me live it down." Sam was ostensibly talking to Daniel, but she was really just thinking out loud as she opened various cupboards, the freezer, and checked the fridge once more, just in case.

"Looks like it's going to be spaghetti," she realized, pulling out a jar of sauce and a box of pasta. "Is that okay, Danny?" She turned to him, but he was gone. "Crap," she muttered, hurrying into the den to look for him.

She finally found him, in her bedroom, pulling books off the bookshelf and examining them. "Okay, bookworm. Come on, back in the kitchen where I can keep an eye on you."

Danny gave a mighty sneeze, looking surprised at his own efforts.

"Bless you," she said, smiling as she went into the bathroom for a tissue. She came back, wiped his nose, face, arm… and the cover of the book he had been holding, and said affectionately, "Were those books dusty, sweetie? You're lucky you're so cute, you know."

"Yup," he agreed, nodding.

Sam sighed. "Come on. Don't you want to help me make dinner?"

"No."

Laughing, Sam said, "Well at least you're honest. We'll bring some toys into the kitchen for you then. Come on." She took his hand and led him back into the kitchen, stopping on the way to grab the bucket of Duplo blocks. Danny seemed happy to play with his blocks on the floor by the sink, so Sam set about fixing the pasta.

Danny quickly gave up playing with his blocks in favor of dragging a few pots and pans out of the cupboard he had seen Sam open before. A wooden spoon later and he was making quite a racket, having a great time. Sam decided it wasn't hurting anything other than her ears, and let him knock himself out. At least she could tell where he was the whole time. While the pasta boiled, she assembled the collapsible booster seat they had bought, and strapped it onto one of her kitchen chairs.

Half an hour later, Danny was strapped into the chair with a bib and a plate of pasta. Sam knew it was going to be messy, but there wasn't much else to offer him. She cut up the pasta and fed him. He loved it, particularly because it was so messy and fun to squish around - on the plastic tray in front of him, Sam's arms and shirt, his own face and hair…

When he finally had more spaghetti in his tummy than on his body and his immediate vicinity, he refused to eat any more. Sam, who had managed a few bites of her own in between trying to feed Danny and keep the spaghetti off her kitchen walls, set about cleaning everything up. Danny watched from his seat, still happily smooshing around the few remaining noodles on his tray that escaped the first level of clean-up. Sam cleaned him off with a dishtowel, noticing that his cheeks were still tinted from the sauce even after she had removed it all.

As soon as she put him down he ran off into the den. Sam followed him, but, seeing that he was happy to start pulling out all of his toys, she ducked back into the kitchen and finished cleaning up. Danny sneezed twice more while she was cleaning, but he was playing contentedly. She sat down on the floor across from him and they played catch with a foam ball for a while.

His cheeks were still pink, and now she was certain it wasn't from the sauce. She felt his cheeks and forehead cautiously. "Are you sick?"

"Nope," he answered with a big sniffle.

"Oh, sweetie, please don't be sick… you just got here, you can't be sick…"

"I not sick, Sam," he said stubbornly. Sam nodded and discreetly felt his forehead again as she brushed his hair out of his face, hoping the little guy was right.

Unfortunately, he wasn't. She watched him get more and more congested right before her eyes, despite all her efforts to get him to blow his nose and drink water. Within an hour he was coughing and sneezing, his eyes were bright, and his cheeks were pink. He was feeling very sorry for himself too, and was understandably whiny and fussy.

"Saaaam, I feel yucky," he sniffled, rubbing his eyes with his hands.

"I know," she said, trying to keep him from rubbing his eyes. "I'll call Janet and… dammit!"

"Danit dammit?" Danny asked.

"No, I didn't mean… I mean, don't say that… I shouldn't have… shi… I mean crap I can't call her anyway, she's on duty tonight and…"

"CWAPDAMMIT!"

"Shh, no, don't… what should… let's go wash your face and hands, that might help a little." She scooped him up and took him into the bathroom. He had a sneezing fit in her bedroom that left her shirt extremely disgusting. She pressed a cold cloth to his face and helped him wash his hands, but that didn't help at all - not that she had truly expected it to, it was really just something to do.

He sneezed again and apparently hit a threshold. He started crying, which Sam knew would only make him feel more miserable, but she didn't blame him. Seeing the little guy feeling so bad, especially when she was home alone with him, was enough to make her want to cry too. She rummaged around in her medicine cabinet, but of course didn't have anything that it was safe to give to a baby.

"Come on, Danny, we're going to go to the drug store," she decided. Holding him tightly, she stepped back into her shoes, grabbed her wallet and keys, and was heading out the door with them when she remembered the diaper bag. She returned to grab it, then was halfway to her car when Danny stopped his crying to wail, "Saaaaam! Iwanmydino!"

"What?"

"My dino! My dino-saw!"

"Oh. Right." Sam hurried back inside yet again and quickly tore apart the living room in the search for the plush triceratops. "You should name this guy," she said absently, handing it to him and hurrying out the door.

Strapping a crying, clinging toddler into a car seat, she soon learned, was a skill she had yet to master. She was on the verge of tears by the time she finally got him safely buckled and began driving. Danny was still sniffling, coughing, and crying, but he was no longer sneezing as Sam drove.

The constant crying was making it impossible for her to think, and she realized that taking such an upset child into a drug store wasn't likely to endear her to any of its employees or customers. She took a right at the next light instead of going straight, and soon found herself pulling into her CO's driveway.

vvvvvvvvvv


	14. A Good Idea

Ch 14

Jack looked up from the hockey game he was watching as someone knocked frantically on his door. Since his pizza had been delivered an hour ago, he couldn't think of anybody who'd have a reason to be pounding on his door at almost ten o'clock at night. He padded to the door in his socks, plucking a stray pepperoni off of his tee-shirt and popping it into his mouth on the way.

He opened the door and didn't know which was the more surprising thing about the two people on his doorstep: the fact that they were there at all, or how absolutely miserable they both looked.

Danny was crying harder than he had been when he fell off his tricycle earlier. His face was red and wet from tears and his runny nose. He clung to Sam tightly with one little arm, and to his new favorite toy with the other.

Sam, though, looked perhaps even worse. In addition to being covered with various stains that Jack thought for a moment were blood but quickly determined were tomato sauce, her eyes were bright as though she had been crying a little too, or was about to, and she looked on the verge of losing it completely. The last time he'd seen her look so stressed, she had been up for three days straight trying to increase gate computer efficiency or something.

"What's wrong?"

"I don't know. He's sick. I took him home and he was fine, I fed him and now he's sick. I broke him! I broke Daniel!"

"You didn't break him," Jack said automatically, ushering them inside. "Kids get sick all the time."

He muted the hockey game and gestured to the couch, sitting down next to them. "Hey, Danny. You wanna try suffering in silence for a minute or two?" he asked. Danny continued to cry. "I guess not. Sam, what happened?"

"I don't know. Everything was fine. I fed him and he ate and made a big mess… he started sneezing, then got all congested while we were playing. Then he got upset when he started to feel bad, and the crying is making it harder for him to breathe and just making him more stopped up but he won't stop… I got in the car to go to the drug store but I don't even know what to get and with him crying it would just be even more… I didn't know what to do and I just… came here."

"I'm glad. Look. We know Danny has allergies, and don't kids grow out of some of their allergies?"

"Yes, but…"

"So he probably had pretty bad allergies when he was really little, and it was the first time he's gone off base so something in your house must have…" Jack stopped, thinking as he spoke, and said, "Your cat. I bet it was your cat."

"Oh my God, you're right. That's… that's brilliant, why didn't I realize…"

"Your attention was understandably elsewhere. Don't be so hard on yourself. This is good. It means he's not sick. He's out of the house, as soon as we get all the cat hair off both of you and out of him he'll clear up. Look. I'll run to the store. You try to relax, even if he keeps crying. Get him out of those clothes that have cat on them. Then get him in a bath. I'll be back fast, okay?" Sam nodded, glad to have a clear plan for fixing what she still felt responsible for doing wrong. "Did you bring any diapers or should I get those too?"

"The diaper bag's in my car."

"Good. I'll be back soon." He got up, squeezed her shoulder reassuringly, and hurried off.

vvvvvvvvvv

Jack could easily have been pulled over on his way to the drug store. Luckily, the police of Colorado Springs apparently had more important places to be that night. He soon found himself somewhere he hadn't been in well over a decade: standing in the children's aisle of a drug store at night, reading the backs of various packages, trying to figure out how each was different, and which one would be best for the little boy waiting at home's particular symptoms.

As his mind flashed back to how miserable Danny had looked, and how worried, scared, and guilty Sam had looked, he resorted to his old stand-by: get it all. Two different kinds of thermometers, baby Vapor Rub, Dimetapp, baby Benadryl, a humidifier, and various other miscellaneous but brightly-packaged things that looked potentially useful, as well as several pints of ice cream from the refrigerated display by the checkout later, and he was jumping back into his truck and hurrying back home.

"Sam?" he called loudly when he saw that the den was empty. He checked the kitchen, which was also empty, and wondered if she was still giving Danny a bath. Sticking the ice cream in the freezer, he continued through the house looking for his unexpected visitors.

"Sam? Are you back here?" he called as he entered the bathroom, stopping when he found them. "Hey. How's it going?"

"Okay," Sam answered. "He's stopped crying, obviously. I think he was more surprised by the fact that I dumped him in the tub than anything else, but it did get him to stop crying. I think he looks like he feels a little bit better already."

"Yeah, you both do," Jack commented, dumping his purchases on the countertop and looking at them both.

Once, many years ago, he'd had a very weird and disturbing dream about finding Daniel and Sam in his bathroom together.

Thankfully, this was nothing like that nightmare. Sam, for one thing, was still fully clothed, although she had been splashed liberally enough to consider entering a wet tee-shirt contest. Jack pretended not to notice. Danny sat in a half-full tub of bubbles. His cheeks were still pink and he was still sniffly, but at least he wasn't all snotty. He still didn't look like he felt great, but he seemed too worn out to continue crying.

"I got a bunch of stuff for him. Let's see. Since it's allergies, not a cold, let's give him some Dimetapp first. We always had to bring some for Charlie when we visited Sarah's sister because they had all these rabbits… anyway, it worked really well." Jack rummaged in the bags and found the medicine, poured the proper dose, and gave it to Sam. "I don't think I'll be able to get it in him. Plus your shirt's already stained and mine isn't."

"Check again, sir, there's some cheese on your collar," she responded with an amused smile. He was so relieved she was relaxed enough to be smiling that he didn't even bother coming up with a clever retort. Sam waved the medicine measurer in front of Danny encouragingly and said, "This tastes really good, Danny. Come on, taste it, it's yummy."

Danny eyed it suspiciously and shook his head. Since he was in the tub, Sam was worried about him falling and hurting himself if he tried to get away to avoid the medicine, so she leaned awkwardly over the tub and tried to keep him still. Danny had other plans and ended up squirming away from her, sliding around the tub, laughing and splashing her.

"Want to double team him?" Jack suggested, holding out his hand to take the medicine back.

"Looks like we better," Sam agreed, passing him the dispenser and snagging Danny by the slippery little arms. She practically ended up in the tub with him but she managed to hold him still long enough for Jack to pour the medicine into his mouth.

Refusing to swallow, Danny held the entire dose in his mouth and glared at them both as though they'd committed high treason. Jack recognized the look and retreated out of the line of fire, should Danny choose to spit out the purple syrup, but he suddenly looked surprised and swallowed it. Then he looked at them both hopefully and asked, "More?"

"Nice job," Jack commented as he grabbed Sam's arm to help her balance as she got back onto the side of the tub.

"Thanks."

"Sure." Jack opened the baby Vick's and asked, "How'd you make the bubbles?"

"I um, used your shampoo," Sam said sheepishly, glancing at him sideways.

He chuckled and handed her the little jar. "Put some on his chest. It'll help clear him up fast, especially in the tub, then hopefully the Dimetapp will kick in."

Sam nodded and did as instructed. Danny looked down at his chest curiously at the cooling sensation of the Vick's, and gradually relaxed in the water. By the time they had his hair washed and the water had started to cool, he was very drowsy.

Sam pulled the plug and picked him up carefully, holding him out away from her body while Jack wrapped the towel around him. "This is still so weird if you stop and think about it," she muttered as she shifted him to one arm and started trying to dry him off.

"Yeah, tell me about it. We just gave Daniel Jackson a bubble bath. Speaking of which, you better take a shower too, to make sure you get all the cat off of you. I'll wash all your clothes, but I make no guarantees on those stains. If he's still not better in the morning we better call the Doc, but I think he's going to be okay."

"Yeah, he seems better already," Sam agreed, rubbing Danny's back through the towel.

"Here, I'll get him dressed. Oh, and I'll find something for you to wear too. Did you bring him some jammies?" Jack asked. "Okay, wait… let's just not tell anybody… especially anybody named Teal'c, Janet, or Cassandra Fraiser that I just said 'jammies,' okay?"

Sam passed Danny to him, but she was avoiding eye contact, and looking embarrassed, and he'd expected at least a smile for that one. "What's wrong?" Jack asked.

"Nothing," Sam said quickly, flashing a smile.

"Liar. Come on. Tell me before he pees on me again." Jack stopped and narrowed his eyes at Danny. "Don't get any ideas, little guy."

"Kay, Dack."

Sam sighed and said, "I just… I really thought I could… that I didn't need help. I guess I was… you know… wrong."

Jack fought the urge to laugh. She said 'wrong' like it was the most foul swear word on the planet. He assumed laughing would not be an appreciated response, so he swallowed his chuckle and said, "Ah, Carter, you weren't _wrong. _Danny's allergic to cats. That's all. And he's a lot lower to the ground now so I guess it got to him faster or something. Anyway, you'll both just have to stay here." He patted her on the shoulder with his free hand and took that as his cue to leave the bathroom with Danny.

vvvvvvvvvv

Sam quickly took a shower, trying not to think about how weird her life was. She was showering in her CO's house and it looked like she'd be spending the night - and all that was after they bathed their youngest team-mate. They had been in a quasi-domestic setting and routine on the base, in the VIP suite, and that had been close enough to the line they always avoided going anywhere near… but on base there had still been the constant reminder of all the SGC-related rules and regulations. Now, it was bound to be even more complicated. And Hammond had told her to stay off the base until Monday, and Danny was apparently allergic to her house…

She sighed and got out of the shower. After towelling off, she wrapped the towel firmly around herself and peeked into the bedroom, which was empty, but there was a small folded stack of clothes on the foot of the bed. Sam tried very hard not to be impressed by how thoughtful Jack was being about all of this, and pulled on a tee-shirt and pair of sweatpants that she was completely swimming in. She rolled the waistband up to make them fit a bit better, but they were still way too big. Sometimes she forgot how large her CO actually was, because next to Teal'c, pretty much anybody looked small. Plus all of his civilian clothes seemed to be exceedingly baggy on _him, _much less on her. Hoping the sweatpants would stay on, she brushed out her hair and gathered up her clothes, Danny's clothes, and the towels they'd used, and carried them all out of the bedroom.

The hockey game was back on. Danny was sitting on the couch next to Jack, and looked especially small and cute in his jammies with his damp hair carefully combed away from his face. He noticed her before Jack did, apparently not as interested in hockey as Jack was. "Sam, Sam, commear."

"Give her a break, buddy. Come on, now, you're supposed to be learning the finer points of hockey." Jack pointed at the television with the remote.

"No hock-ey, Dack. Dwink?"

"You can have a drink _and_ watch hockey at the same time," Jack explained, in the sort of voice Daniel, when he was fully grown, often used during a briefing. "Actually, it's part of the whole experience. Come on." He got up with Danny and headed to the kitchen, saying, "How do you feel about beer?"

Sam rolled her eyes when they were gone, knowing that Jack wasn't going to give Danny beer. She sat down and checked the game to see how much longer it was going to be on, sighing when she realized it had just started.

"There we are, little buddy, a nice beer while we watch the game," Jack said loudly as they came back into the room. Sam looked up at them, surprised that Danny actually was holding a bottle of beer in his little hand. That just looked so wrong. Adorable little boy in footy pajamas, holding a beer. So, so wrong. Jack was carrying another beer as well as a sippy cup, and when he sat down on the couch and put Danny next to him, he said, "Go on, give yours to Sam, after the night she's had she's more than earned it. You get the yummy warm milk."

Danny dutifully leaned over and handed the unopened beer to Sam, who took it with a laugh. "Thanks, Danny. Very funny by the way, sir."

"We try, don't we Danny?"

"Yup," he agreed as he took the sippy cup with both hands and started drinking. He rested against Jack's side, but Sam noticed he was about as interested in the hockey game as she was. Which was 'not very.'

"Sam commear," he repeated when he caught her looking at him, hitting the cushion right next to him for emphasis.

Sensing she was still feeling rather upset and embarrassed about the unexpected turn the evening had taken, Jack turned his attention to both of them as Sam slid closer to Danny. Since Danny himself was so small, that conveniently brought her much closer to Jack as well. "There's clean sheets on the bed in the guest room, and it's up against the wall, so you should both be okay in there."

"I'm sorry we ruined your night, I just didn't know where else to go… it's hard to think with a baby crying…"

"Yeah. And for the record, you didn't ruin it. After a couple days with this little guy, it was pretty quiet around here all alone anyway."

"Well, I think we certainly took care of the quiet part," Sam said. "I had no idea how completely unnerving it is to listen to a baby cry and not be able to stop it…"

"You did stop it, eventually. Kids cry when they don't feel good, Carter. It's not a big deal. Look at him now, he's all right, aren't you buddy?" He ruffled Danny's damp hair, but Danny was getting sleepy, having thoroughly exhausted himself, and was not in the mood to be ruffled. He tried to swat Jack's hand away and cuddled into Sam instead, climbing in her lap and snuggling into her with his arms full of his dinosaur and his sippy cup.

"There, see? He's fine. And he'll be asleep in no time."

"Thank you… again. I… I wasn't…"

"Stop thanking me already." Deciding grumbly was the way to go at the moment, he added, "I can't hear the game when you're thanking me."

"Sorry," she said quietly, smiling down at Danny and tucking his hair back into place.

"Or when you're apologizing," Jack added, nudging her shoulder.

As they watched the hockey game, they fell into silence, apart from Danny's breathing. He wasn't quite snoring, but his nose was still a little stuffy, and his breathing was made more difficult by the fact that he kept trying to suck his thumb and breathe through his mouth at the same time. Sam kept gently tugging his hand away from his mouth and a few minutes later he would sneak it back again.

He also couldn't quite fall all the way asleep. He kept waking himself up. Sam rubbed his back in big circles and kept feeling his forehead. "Want to go set up the humidifier?" Jack asked.

"You got a humidifier?"

"Yeah. Come on, we can put it by the bed."

"What about your game? It's almost over."

"It's a replay from earlier," he admitted. "I saw the final score already. Come on."

Sam, carrying Danny, followed him down the hall to the guest room and stood by the bed, rocking slightly back and forth trying to get him to go to sleep while Jack set up the humidifier and got it going. "I'm gonna go finish the laundry. And eat some more pizza. Want some?"

"No thanks."

"Sure? If you were feeding the kid spaghetti I doubt you got to eat much of it yourself."

"I'm all right. I want to stay with him until he's asleep."

"Okay. Keep me posted." He reached out to ruffle Danny's hair again, but, remembering last time, stopped himself and patted his head gently instead. Sam thought it was a bit like petting a dog, but it was still pretty sweet. "Get some sleep, buddy."

"Kay Dack I wuv you."

"Yeah… uh… me too."

Refusing to look Sam directly in the eye, he left quickly, mumbling about laundry.

vvvvvvvvvvvv

Despite Jack's prediction that Danny would be asleep in no time, it was a very long night for all three of them. It seemed like Sam would just get him to fall asleep and would barely begin dozing off herself when Danny would cough himself awake. Jack heard her in the kitchen in the middle of the night and found her giving him another dose of medicine. Glancing at the clock, he saw that it had been six hours since his last dose. A _long _six hours. Danny was a lot better, but just seemed too tired and uncomfortable to sleep, at least for long.

"We can watch him in shifts you know. Like in the field."

"I've got it," Sam said quickly. Realizing it was snappish, she amended, "I want to. Really. I mean, I want him to sleep, but… I don't think I'd be able to sleep anyway, you know… wondering if he was sleeping…"

"Okay."

After separating from them in the hallway, Jack had trouble going back to sleep. He could hear shuffling and occasionally quiet talking from the guest room, but it wasn't the noise that was keeping him up - it was just the fact that he knew nobody else was getting any sleep.

He finally got up to check on them again, stopping outside the door when he could hear Sam singing quietly. The tune was a familiar lullaby, but she was making up her own words - either she didn't know the real lyrics or she had got sick of them already. "Go to sleep, close your eyes… just close them and go to sleep… dream of artifacts and… hieroglyphs… and other boring things that should put you to sleep…"

Jack forgot to stifle his chuckle and the singing stopped abruptly. He nudged the door the rest of the way open and tried to look apologetic, but it was very hard when Sam was looking so caught-in-the-headlights. "I'm telling him you said rocks were boring when he's big," Jack said quietly.

From the way she had continued half-bouncing, half-swaying even after seeing him, he figured she had been doing it so long she wasn't even aware of it anymore. "Sure you don't want me to take him for a while? He gets heavy."

"Tell me about it. But I'm okay… I think he's about to fall asleep… I can sort of tell…"

"Kay. Good night again, then. Come get me if you change your mind."

vvvvvvvvv

The next time he checked on them, he'd intended to do it stealthily, but it turned out unnecessary. He peeked into the bedroom and was immediately overwhelmed by the mentholated smell of the open Vicks jar sitting on the nightstand next to the humidifier, which was starting to sputter.

The room was quiet, apart from the slightly wet breathing sounds from the smaller of his two sleeping guests. Danny was ensconced in the middle of the bed, covers neatly tucked around him, propped up at a slight angle to help his breathing. It looked like Sam had devised some sort of system for the way the pillows were all arranged around him. Knowing her, there was a distinct possibility that mathematical equations had been involved in the process. Danny had his thumb in his mouth and his other arm around his dinosaur, and looked so peaceful that it was hard to believe this was the same child who had been screaming bloody murder on his doorstep earlier that evening.

Sam, on the other hand, looked like she'd fallen asleep in the middle of something. She was on top of the covers, on her side forming a barrier between the edge of the mattress and Danny, just in case. Several crumpled tissues surrounded her, and one of her socks, which were actually Jack's and therefore way too big, had fallen off and was on the floor next to the bed, along with several other tissues, and the other sock was only halfway on her foot, dangling precariously.

Her head wasn't even on a pillow and the sweatpants he'd loaned her were barely hanging on, but the shirt was huge also, so she was still properly covered. She had one hand curled underneath her chin, and upon closer inspection Jack could see that she was still holding the digital thermometer.

He pulled it out of her hand carefully, moved everything that wasn't Sam or Danny off of the bed, took all the tissues into the bathroom and threw them away, closed the Vicks, and refilled the humidifier, all without making either of them stir. That done, he tugged the sock the rest of the way off Sam's foot and debated trying to get her under the covers without waking her completely.

Doubting his ability to pull it off, and also not wanting to risk waking Danny again as well, he went back to his room and grabbed one of his pillows, then into his closet for his warmest blanket. Returning to the guest room, he lifted Sam's head carefully with one hand and slid the pillow underneath her at what he hoped was a comfortable spot, amazed when she didn't wake up. He tucked the blanket around her carefully, studied them both for several long moments, and hoped they would both be able to sleep through the rest of the night as he turned off the lamp and left.


	15. Pancake Plans

A/N: (pats self on the back) Two chapters up in one day. Yay me.

Ch 15

When Sam woke up, the first thing she realized was how bright it was in the bedroom. Then she realized it wasn't her bedroom, remembered where she was, and sat up quickly, turning towards Danny… who wasn't there.

Untangling herself from the blanket - which she realized she had never seen before - she got to her feet quickly, pulling up the sweatpants that were coming off and hurrying through the house looking for her little charge.

She found him easily, as he was laughing very loudly in the kitchen. She quickly saw why. He was sitting at the table, strapped securely in place with what looked like the belt to a robe, sitting on a stack of phone books so he could reach the table. The make-shift high chair didn't seem to be inconveniencing him, and he banged the spoon in his hand loudly against the table and called, "Dack, cake, cake!"

"Sir! You can't give him cake for breakfast!" Sam said quickly as she headed to the stove and her CO.

"Well, rejoining the world of the living, are we, Major Carter? And the cakes being requested are of the pan variety, so don't worry." He flipped a pancake up into the air and caught it on the skillet in his hand, which made Danny shriek and clap his hands.

"Sam, wook, Dack is frowin cake! Ginn, Dack, ginn!"

"All right, all right. Hold your horses. We've got to stop throwing them around and EAT them eventually, you know." He poured more batter onto the skillet after sliding the finished pancakes onto the tower he had already amassed on a nearby plate.

"He seems all better now," Sam remarked on her way to the coffee pot.

"Yeah, he's fine. How about you?"

"Fine… or I will be once I get some coffee in me."

"And pancakes, I hope," Jack called over his shoulder. "Because normal-sized Daniel and I _maybe _could eat all of these by ourselves, but we're definitely gonna need your help today."

"Sounds great. I'll get the syrup."

"Hmm, which one of us gets to try to clean the syrup off of him later?"

Sam glanced at the skillet. "Flip for it?"

vvvvvvvvvvv

After breakfast, during the lengthy clean-up that ensued, Jack asked, "So, still want to go to the park today?"

"Sure. But I should go home and get the things I had already brought inside. And feed my cat, make sure Cassie can keep feeding him, just in case…"

"And pack your own bag?"

"I guess…" she said hesitantly. Taking a deep breath, she forged ahead. "Are you sure you want both of us to stay here all weekend, sir, I mean, don't you think…"

"Nope," he interrupted with a smirk. "And you think way too much. The only difference between both of us watching him here and at the base is that there's a lot more room for him to run amok here. So… want to meet us at the park, or should we wait here for you?"

Danny had found his tricycle, which was in the pile of stuff Sam had still had in her car when she came over, and he pedaled quickly into the kitchen where Jack and Sam were, making rows of syrup tracks after passing through a puddle by his chair.

Sam and Jack cornered him and stopped him. "I think we better go ahead and go as soon as possible. Let him burn off some energy outside rather than tearing up the house."

"Good idea," Sam agreed.

"I'll call Teal'c and see if he wants to meet us."

"Tea?" Danny asked, looking around for his biggest friend.

"Yeah, we're going to see if he wants to go to the park with us," Jack told him. "Does that sound like fun?"

"Yeah!"

"Okay, then, Sam, we'll meet you at the playground we always took Cassie to."

"All right. Good luck till then," Sam commented as Danny made a grab for Jack's leftover cup of coffee and Jack managed to snatch it out of the way just in time.

"Thanks."

vvvvvvvvvv

Sam let herself back into her house and only then noticed how very messy it had become in such a relatively short period of time the night before. She straightened up and explained the situation to her cat, who didn't seem to mind in the least that he still had the house to himself. She packed up the rest of Danny's things, as well as what she herself would need, and was changing her clothes when the phone rang. Expecting it to be her CO with a Danny-related issue, she picked it up absently as she searched for matching socks. "Carter."

"Hey, Sam, how's it going?"

"Oh, hi, Janet. It's… okay. We hit kind of a snag last night…"

"What do you mean 'snag?'" Janet asked, sounding worried.

Sam explained the situation. Janet understood completely, but she couldn't refrain from commenting, "So you're going to play house all weekend with the Colonel?"

"Janet," Sam said defensively. "There really aren't a whole lot of other options here. Hammond wants Danny off the base and he can't be at my house and breathe at the same time, so what else are we supposed to do?"

"I'm just teasing you, Sam. I'm glad you don't have to watch him all alone, he's kind of a handful."

"Yeah," Sam agreed. "So, listen, I want to be sure my cat's okay so can I talk to Cassie real quick?"

"She's in the shower, I'll have her call you later. I told her what happened to Danny. She wants to see him."

"He's not a… a spectacle!"

"The three of you together are," Janet commented dryly.

"Janet…"

"All right, that was uncalled for, I'm sorry."

"It's okay," Sam sighed. "Anyway… you could meet us at the park if you want. I'm sure Jack and Teal'c would like to see her too and… _what, _Janet?"

"I'm sorry! It's just still weird hearing you say 'Jack.'"

"I _told _you that…"

"I know, I know. It was confusing Daniel. But Sam… Danny's not there right now, is he?"

Sam held the phone away from her ear for a moment so she could give it a withering glare, then said, "Goodbye, Dr. Fraiser" before punching the Off button vehemently.

vvvvvvvvvv


	16. At the Park

A/N: Here's a big one for you oh-so-kind ladies and gents.

Ch 16

Sam walked through the park to the playground that had always been Cassie's favorite. She quickly spotted the rest of her team. As it was a beautiful Saturday, the park was fairly crowded with families of all sizes and configurations. Small groups of women with strollers, mothers and fathers chasing after their children, people with their dogs, and constant chatter and laughter filled the playground, but Jack and Teal'c stuck out quite obviously.

They were sitting on a bench, Danny's tricycle and a heavily laden stroller beside them. Teal'c was wearing a cowboy hat and a paisley shirt. Getting control of her laughter before she was within earshot of them, she returned their waves. They must have told Danny that she was here because he suddenly climbed out of the sandbox and started running towards her.

Sam laughed when she saw that Jack had dressed him in his tiny SG-1 "uniform" - he was the only kid in the park dressed in green cargo pants, a black tee-shirt, and a little green boonie hat, which slipped off his head and hung down his back by its strings when he hugged Sam round the legs and tilted his head up to look at her. "Hi, Danny, are you having fun?"

"Yup. Come to pway in da sand?"

She brushed sand off his shirt and pants as she picked him up, put his hat back on his head, and carried him back over towards Jack and Teal'c. "Well, I think I'm a little big for the sandbox, it looks pretty crowded. Why don't I sit with Jack and Teal'c and watch you instead?"

"Kay," he said happily, squirming to be put back down.

She set him on his feet and looked after him as he climbed back into the sandbox and resumed whatever he was constructing. "Hey Carter."

"Greetings, Major Carter."

"Hey guys. How's it going?"

"It goes well. Daniel Jackson is easily entertained."

"Yeah." Looking around at the stuffed diaper bag that was sitting in the stroller, the helmet hanging off one of its arms, and the tricycle next to it, Sam turned to her CO and asked, "Where's the kitchen sink?"

"Very funny. I forgot lugging a kid around meant lugging all this crap around too. I looked like a freaking nomad with all this stuff."

"And the rest is in my car," Sam added lightly.

"Great," he responded dryly as she sat down on the bench next to him and turned her attention to Daniel, who was calling, "Sam, Dack, Tea, wook at me!"

They all waved to him, and Jack turned to Teal'c. "So, what's it gonna be, big guy?"

"Your offer is most generous, O'Neill, and I would be happy to render as much assistance as possible, if Major Carter has no objections."

"To what?" Sam asked, pulling off her sunglasses and frowning at the smudges Danny had left.

Since Jack's shirt was already untucked, he took the glasses from her to clean them off while Teal'c explained, "O'Neill has asked me to accompany you to his home for the remainder of the weekend."

"Oh, that's a great idea!" Sam said immediately, realizing it would really help the potential awkwardness of being alone with her CO and a toddler all weekend.

"Then I will be happy to join you," Teal'c said, nodding to both of them.

"Great," Jack said, clapping Teal'c on the shoulder and then leaning back into the bench more comfortably, stretching his arms out along the back of it. Sam thought idly that the movement might have been construed as a subtle effort to get an arm around her - but he'd done the same thing on his other side, to Teal'c, as well, so clearly he was just making himself comfortable. Probably.

"Tea, come pway in da sand wiff me!" Danny called, in a very bossy tone that grown-up Daniel Jackson probably wouldn't use with anybody, let alone Teal'c.

"As you wish, young Daniel," Teal'c responded, getting up and answering his summons.

Sam had to laugh as she watched the large man perch himself on the edge of the sandbox next to Danny and obediently take the plastic shovel the little boy passed him. Several of the parents who were monitoring their own children in the sandbox looked slightly alarmed at Teal'c's huge presence, but they quickly relaxed when they saw how gentle he was with Daniel, and how patient he was with the toddler.

"Cassie and Janet are probably going to meet us in a little bit," Sam offered, after she and Jack had lapsed into comfortable silence for several moments as they watched their two teammates - one over a hundred years old, one currently little more than a hundred weeks.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, apparently Cassie really wants to see the tiny version of Daniel. And I think Janet wants to make sure I didn't damage him too badly. She wasn't very impressed when I told her what happened last night."

"Oh, come on, I'm sure she didn't say that," Jack said mildly, squeezing her shoulder and letting his hand fall back to the back of the bench again.

"Well, no," Sam admitted. "It was… implied."

"Or inferred? Only by you?"

"Just wait. The first thing she'll do when she gets here is take his temperature."

"She does that to everybody who'll let her," Jack said mildly.

Two little girls, one about his age, one a bit older, had joined Danny in the sandbox and were helping dig and build in the sand. Teal'c watched these newcomers suspiciously for several moments, determined them not to be a threat to Danny's safety, and left him to his new playmates, taking the opportunity to stand to his full height, brush the sand off himself, and return to the bench with his teammates.

"Daniel Jackson has made several new acquaintances. He informed me that they are constructing a castle."

"Yup, Danny-boy is always popular with the ladies," Jack commented.

"Speaking of which," Sam added, waving to Janet and Cassie, who were approaching. Cassie was on her rollerblades, zipping around, circling her mother, who was carrying a handbag almost as big as she was. Cassie called out to them and skated over to them expertly, stopping next to Teal'c, who stood to greet her.

"Hey, guys!" She hugged Teal'c, then rolled over to hug Jack and Sam at the same time from where they were seated. They had all exchanged greetings by the time Janet joined them.

"Hey, guys," she repeated, unknowingly echoing her daughter's greeting. "Where's Danny?"

"Sandbox, getting numbers from all the little girls," Jack said, gesturing to the sandbox.

Janet went over to him to say hi, lifting the hat off his head and feeling his forehead in the process. Sam nudged Jack discreetly when she saw her friend giving Danny a quick checkup, but he didn't get time to respond because Cassie was going on and on about how weird it must be for all of them, and asking all kinds of questions about Danny and what they had all been doing, and how long he was going to be young.

Cassie sat down on the pavement in front of them to take off her rollerblades, put on some sandals, and hurried over to the sandbox. Janet smiled up at her daughter from where she was seated on the edge of the sandbox. "Danny? Here's somebody new for you to play with."

Danny looked up at the teenaged girl carefully. Cassie squealed when she saw him. "He's so cute! Look at that little outfit!"

"I'm not wittle," Danny said stubbornly.

Cassie laughed. "Sorry. Nice to meet you, Danny. Mom, can we bring him home with us?" she asked immediately.

Janet laughed. "I think he's pretty comfortable with Jack and Sam, sweetie."

"Yeah, speaking of which… they're looking awfully cozy on that bench over there."

"Hush, leave them alone," Janet scolded, glancing back at the rest of SG-1 to see if they had overheard her. From the look Teal'c gave her, she guessed that he had, but Sam and Jack were talking about something else and not paying the rest of them much attention. "But you're right," Janet added quietly.

"Doc, name," Daniel interrupted, patting Janet and pointing at Cassie.

"Sorry, Danny. This is my daughter Cassie. Can you say 'Cassie?'"

He looked thoughtful for a moment and said, "Cashy."

"Close enough," Cassie said, laughing. "Can I play with you, Danny?"

"Yeah, pway. Here, take tis." He offered her a shovel and scooted over, patting the sand next to him.

Cassie joined him. "See, mom, I'd be an excellent babysitter," she said pointedly as Janet got to her feet and brushed herself off.

"We'll see," Janet said. "I'm going to go see if they can make room on that bench for me."

"I'm sure they'll manage, even if it means Jack and Sam just _have _to sit even closer than they already are… although I'm not sure that's possible in a public place…"

Janet swatted her daughter's arm playfully as she left the two of them to play together, although she privately agreed.

"They look like they're getting along," Jack commented when Janet approached.

"Oh yeah. Cassie is determined to prove that she should get to start babysitting, although I'm not sure Danny's the best test subject. He's a pretty good little guy, isn't he?"

"Sam, care to enlighten the good doctor on how many hours he kept you up last night?" Jack asked as everyone scooted to the left to make room for Janet next to Sam.

It left the two in the middle, Jack and Sam, of course, pressed side by side. Teal'c shot Janet a look of approval that caught the doctor off balance for a moment, but she recovered quickly and turned her attention back to Sam with a smile.

"That wasn't his fault," Sam insisted. "He didn't feel good. Actually it was my own fault in the first place for not…"

"Oh, stop it, Sam, it wasn't anybody's fault. We all know Daniel has allergies. I should have thought of the possible problem sooner, but he was doing okay on the base so I sort of forgot about it. Now, drop it."

"All right, fine," Sam agreed.

Jack's jaw dropped. "I said the exact same thing to you several times last night and it had absolutely no effect! And I'm your CO!"

"I wouldn't say it had _no _effect," Sam defended half-heartedly, turning her attention back to Danny and Cassie, who were heading farther across the playground.

"Shall I accompany them?" Teal'c asked.

"Nah, they're okay," Jack said as they got in line for one of the slides, Cassie holding onto Danny's hand carefully.

The adults chatted as they watched Cassie supervising Danny. She went down the slide with him several times, helped him on the seesaw and other pieces of playground equipment, and was running after him towards the swings when Danny tripped on the uneven ground and fell.

All the full-sized members of SG-1 jumped to their feet as Danny fell off of his. They couldn't tell if he was hurt badly, but Cassie seemed calm enough as she crouched over him and picked him up, so everyone else relaxed partially, although they could hear him crying.

Sam and Jack both hurried across the playground to meet Cassie halfway and take him from her. Janet started to follow but Teal'c put a hand on her shoulder. "I believe they have control of the situation, Dr. Fraiser."

"Looks like it," Janet agreed as Sam took Danny from Cassie and they all clumped together to make sure he was okay before continuing back towards them. Jack had his arm loosely around Cassie, who was looking at the little boy with a very worried look on her face.

Several other people in the park were giving them all sympathetic looks because Danny was still crying, although his sobs were now muffled by the fact that his face was pressed into Sam's shirt, but they all saw that Danny had several adults to take care of him and left them alone.

"He's okay," Jack assured Teal'c and Janet immediately. "Just a scraped chin."

"I'm sorry, I was too far away to grab him before he fell…" Cassie said.

"Kids trip all the time, Cass. He fell off his tricycle yesterday surrounded by adults and got a much worse scrape on his knee."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Kids his age _always _have a few scrapes, right Doc?"

"Yes, Cassie, this is definitely not your fault and I'm sure Danny will be fine. Sam, can you sit down so I can take a look at him?"

"Nooooo!" Danny wailed. "No doc! No pokes! No fermer!"

"No what?"

"Thermometer," Sam translated. "I may have overdone it last night with the thermometer." She sat down on the bench and took Danny's hat off, absently passing it to Teal'c.

Jack was kneeling in front of the stroller, rummaging through the diaper bag. "Where's that damn sippy cup?" he muttered. "Crap it's probably in the truck, he wanted it on the way here…"

"I've got a first aid kit in my car," Janet said. "I can go get it, but I want to get a look at him first."

"Danny, come on, lift up your head so the doc can see that you're not mortally wounded," Jack said, shifting to the bench and rubbing the boy's little back. Danny lifted his head obediently but shrank into Sam even more heavily as Janet peered at him carefully, checking his eyes and inspecting the scrape on his chin.

"Did you bite your tongue?" she asked. Still sniffling and crying quietly, but no longer wailing, Danny shook his head. "Let me see." Danny opened his mouth and stuck out his tongue obediently, but when Janet tried to touch him to feel his head he squirmed away from her, swatting at her hands.

"I guess he still hasn't forgiven you for that first day of testing," Sam said apologetically.

"I guess not," Janet said with a frown as Sam carefully felt around his hairline and Jack felt his arms and legs.

"He's okay," Sam insisted. "Just not very happy."

"I still need to clean out that scrape. It's probably full of germs."

"I can go get the kit on my skates," Cassie offered, reaching for them.

"No way, the last thing we need is you falling on those things because you're distracted and going too fast. You'll end up breaking something."

"Moooom…"

"I shall retrieve the kit," Teal'c said.

"You don't know where I parked," Janet said. "It's pretty far away."

"We should have a kit in this bag, we've got everything else in there," Jack muttered, feeling guilty for not having one on hand.

"Don't worry, Colonel, I'll be back fast," Janet said, getting to her feet with her bag.

"I will accompany you, Dr. Fraiser," Teal'c insisted.

They left together, and Cassie sat down on the other side of Sam and looked at Danny carefully. "Are you okay?"

He nodded, but his lip was still quivering. Jack wiped his face clean, apart from his chin, with a cloth from the diaper bag. "He's a tough little guy, aren't you, buddy?" Danny nodded proudly, his breathing almost completely back to normal. He still looked rather unhappy with the world in general but he was now quiet, content sitting sideways in Sam's lap, and glad that all the commotion was over.

He suddenly pulled up one of his trouser legs and pointed at his scraped knee proudly. "See Cass? Old boo-boo on my knee."

"Wow," Cassie said appreciatively. "That must have hurt really bad."

"Yeah," Danny agreed. "But I am tough, wight Dack?"

"Right," Jack agreed, ruffling his hair. "And apparently you've always been a little on the accident prone side."

"Sam where my hat?"

"Er…" Sam looked around. "I think Teal'c must still have it, sweetie. He'll be back soon."

"Tea haff his own BIG hat!"

Everyone laughed at that, which cheered Danny considerably, so that he started trying to climb out of Sam's lap. "Whoa, wait a minute," Sam said, holding onto him.

"I okay now, weady to pway again."

"Well, we have to take care of your new boo-boo," Sam explained. "Just wait a little bit." Danny managed to get to his feet on the bench between Sam and Cassie, but Sam kept her arms around his body firmly to keep him from jumping down.

"You try that and you'll just hurt yourself again," Jack said. Then, deciding to use Daniel's inherently sympathetic nature against him for the moment, he said, "You scared all of us when you fell, Danny. Especially Sam, right?"

When Danny turned his concerned blue eyes on her, looking at her carefully, she caught on and said, "Oh yeah, you scared the hell…o… hello, you scared me, Danny."

Cassie laughed quietly at the way Sam tried to censor herself. "So maybe you should stay here with Sam for a little bit and cuddle with her," Jack suggested.

"Kay Dack," Danny agreed, hugging Sam around the neck.

He gave her a big drooly kiss on the cheek, which made Jack say, "Ohforcryingoutloud, Danny. You've gotta stop slobbering all over women when you kiss them. Come on now, I'm gonna do you a favor here."

Sam was trapped between the two of them on the bench, and didn't have time to say anything before Jack was crowding her more than ever, reaching around with the wash cloth from earlier to wipe off the cheek Danny had just drooled all over.

"Now, try to keep your mouth closed and keep the drooling to a minimum," Jack instructed, squishing Danny's cheeks together till he puckered his lips properly, making a little fish face. "There ya go, close enough. You know, if this is a problem you never figured out, it could explain a lot about your social life," Jack commented as Danny pressed another still rather wet kiss to Sam and looked at Jack.

"Nope, still not right. Look, this isn't that complicated, just do this." He kissed Sam on the cheek without thinking about it… well, without thinking about it beforehand, at any rate. Which pretty much went for this whole impromptu lesson, now that he thought about it as he sat there on a public bench in broad daylight kissing his 2IC.

Sure, it was innocent enough… although Cassie, he realized as he pulled away from his suddenly red 2IC and caught a glimpse of the shocked and thrilled look on the teenager's face, was never going to let either of them forget any of this. Even G-rated kisses were headline news in the world of Jack and Sam, after all.

Danny, always eager to learn, pressed a careful imitation kiss to Sam's other cheek, and asked hopefully, "Wike dat?"

"Yeah, that's better. Don't say I never did nothing for ya." He ruffled Danny's hair again and leaned into the back of the bench again, adopting a deliberately relaxed body posture that kept him out of the direct line of sight of his 2IC. He wasn't sure what she'd have to say about being an object lesson for young Daniel Jackson… but he had a feeling he may have just crossed a big line and embarrassed her thoroughly in the process… in front of Cassie on top of that.

Sam, once she recovered from the initial surprise, decided to go along with her CO's decision to act as though there was nothing unusual whatsoever about what had just happened. She forced herself to look relaxed, and figured the lingering pinkness in her cheeks could easily be attributed to the warm day. She pulled Danny all the way back in her lap and turned to Cassie, trying to come up with something to wipe the smug grin off the teenager's face. "How's school?"

"Good," Cassie answered automatically.

Danny continued trying to squirm out of Sam's lap. "Pway, pway!"

"Oh, come here." Jack slid Danny over onto his knee and started bouncing him around to keep him entertained, pretending like he was going to drop him every few bounces.

Danny was laughing hysterically, which of course drew Cassie's attention. "He's so adorable, how do you stand it?"

"Oh yeah, it's pretty unbearable," Jack commented dryly.

Cassie rolled her eyes. "Yeah, you seem to be having an absolutely terrible time, Jack."

Teal'c and Janet joined them again, Teal'c carrying a small first aid kit. Danny eyed it warily, particularly when Janet knelt down in front of them and opened it up. "No," he said firmly, crossing his arms and sticking his lip out in a defiant pout.

"Danny, I have to clean out your chin, so you don't get really sick," Janet explained.

"No. Stay way fwom me Doc."

Chuckling, Jack said, "Trust me, buddy, that doesn't work."

Janet pulled out a cotton swab and doused it with disinfectant. "This shouldn't even sting," she promised.

Danny tried to kick her. "Hey!" Jack objected, holding his legs still.

"Once again, this is why I'm not a pediatrician."

"Hey, I've been tempted to give you a swift kick a time or two myself," Jack commented.

"I'm sure you have," Janet said dryly, quickly cleaning the scratch on Danny's chin.

He screamed bloody murder, even though Janet knew it didn't really sting. She rubbed some Neosporin on the scratch and was packing everything away, although Danny still hadn't stopped screaming over the latest injustice he had been made to suffer.

"She's done," Jack assured him. Janet put the first aid kit in the diaper bag so they'd have it handy in the future.

"The inverse relationship of Daniel Jackson's size and corresponding volume is most interesting," Teal'c commented among all the screaming.

"People are going to think we're killing him," Cassie agreed.

"No they won't," Jack argued as Danny leaned out of his lap to Sam's and she took him back.

"Poor little guy," she comforted, rubbing his back. He stuck his thumb in his mouth and gradually began calming down.

"He's had a tough couple of days," Jack agreed. He looked around and spotted a concession stand quite a walk away. "Hey, Danny, you want some ice cream?"

Danny's eyes lit up, but he refused to cheer up completely, because then he might not get the ice cream after all. He nodded with a big, brave sounding sniffle.

"Vanilla, chocolate, strawberry?"

"Chock-wat."

"Colonel, you do realize it's almost lunch time," Janet said pointedly.

"You torture the kid, then you're going to tell him he can't have ice cream?" Jack asked incredulously.

"Give her the puppy eyes," Sam encouraged Danny.

He shifted his face towards Janet and gave her a truly pitiful expression that she couldn't refuse. "Whatever, ruin his appetite, health, and teeth…" Janet muttered.

"Mine too," Cassie contributed.

"Cassandra Fraiser…"

"Come on, Mom, once in a while…"

"Yeah, come on, Mom," Jack said, getting to his feet. "Ice cream all around."

"Dack, noooooo!"

"What? I thought you wanted ice cream."

"I do."

"Well…"

"Don't weave." He put his tiny hand on Jack's arm and glanced nervously at Janet, who rolled her eyes and got to her feet.

"Fine. I'll go get your ice cream, for all of you, even though it goes against everything I believe in as a doctor."

"Thank you," Jack and Cassie both chorused.

"I'll help you carry it, Mom," Cassie offered.

"As will I," Teal'c agreed.

Jack handed Teal'c his wallet and said, "Make sure you get a bunch of napkins."

As everybody headed off towards the concession stand, Jack watched them go for a few moments and realized Cassie was going to tell Teal'c and her mom about the whole cheek kissing demonstration from earlier. He sighed and stretched out his legs, his knee twinging from bouncing Danny around on it. "You know, Danny boy, you've got the good doctor wrapped around your little finger pretty nicely. We've got to start taking advantage of that more often."

Danny held out his hand with his fingers splayed and studied them carefully, trying to figure out what Jack meant about his little fingers. Sam laughed and said, "She does have a point about lunch though, sir… Jack, I mean. It's almost noon."

"We ate breakfast late though," Jack commented, unconcerned.

So, with Janet Fraiser casting disapproving looks at the lot of them, SG-1 and Cassandra proceeded to completely ruin their appetites with ice cream. "Oh come on, Doc, relax, will ya? It's not like we're not all going to be hungry again in a little while."

"Yeah doc," Danny agreed, trying to move from Sam's lap to Jack's. His giant ice cream cone threw him off-balance and he crashed into Jack's chest, smooshing the chocolate ice cream between them both. He looked down at the ruined treat and apparently the injustice was just too much to handle after falling earlier. He was two seconds from starting to cry again when Jack started laughing.

Everyone had been holding their breath to see what would happen, and they were all surprised at the sudden, deep laughter coming from Colonel O'Neill. "Carter, please peel the child off of me," Jack finally requested.

She took him by the armpits and pulled him back into her lap. The ice cream cone remained stuck to her CO's shirt. "Oops," Danny finally offered. That set everyone off laughing again, and Sam and Janet started trying to wipe as much ice cream off Danny's bare arms, shirt, and face as they could.

Teal'c pulled out his own napkin supply and said, "Allow me to assist you O'Neill." Cassie burst out laughing again as Teal'c began trying to clean up Jack with the same quick fastidiousness Janet and Sam were cleaning up Daniel.

Jack tolerated the help for only a few moments before grumbling, "I can do it myself, Teal'c, thank you" and swatting the other man's hand away.

Teal'c nodded and said, "Come, Cassandra, we will get more napkins."

While Sam finished cleaning up Danny, she handed him her own neatly nibbled cone. "Here, Danny, try to get this one in your tummy, okay?"

"Kay, Sam," he said, nodding seriously and diving right back into the ice cream happily, now oblivious to the women still fussing over his clean-up.

Jack frowned at him for a moment. "You are not doing good things to my wardrobe, you know." Danny looked around for a moment and offered him his ice cream cone as a truce. "Ah, no thanks, it's not really my flavor. I tend to prefer a little less drool in my ice cream."

"Wha?"

"Nothing. You eat it."

"Kay Dack."

Jack plucked his cold, wet, stained shirt away from his skin with two fingers and sighed down at the stain - that was just never going to come out. Although he'd got the spaghetti sauce off of Carter's shirt okay… maybe there was hope. As he studied the stain, Janet couldn't help but add innocently, "If you hadn't insisted on giving him ice cream nothing would have happened."


	17. Home Base

A/N: Sorry everyone, I tried to post this last night and the site was having problems. I'll probably have the next bit up late tonight as well.

Ch 17

After snack time was over, Jack and Danny both needed changes of clothes. Since Teal'c had agreed to spend the weekend at Jack's with them, Carter offered to take him back to the base to pack his bag, and everyone split up temporarily - Danny looking exceptionally happy to say goodbye to Dr. Fraiser.

By the time Teal'c knocked on their CO's front door, Danny had been cleaned, fed, cleaned again, and put down for a nap - and Jack was feeling pretty pleased with himself for accomplishing all that without any more major drama. All by himself as well… but the satisfied smirk that was firmly in place was quickly dislodged as the knocking on his door sounded eerily loud in the quiet house.

He hurried to the door, scolding, "Shh!" as he opened it. "He's sleeping, keep it down, will ya."

"My apologies, O'Neill," Teal'c said mildly as he entered, sleepover gear in hand, followed by Sam.

The three full-sized members of SG-1 settled in for a quiet afternoon while Danny napped. Normally they were all fairly good at such a thing, but normally Carter had something to _do. _Now, with Danny sleeping and being kept away from the base, she was suddenly filled with a restless energy and need to do something to try to figure out the answer to their adorable little problem.

She thought about how Danny kept trying to get into his own office. Was there something in that, or did he just feel safe there, like Jack suggested? And did he really remember them, or just recognize some innate sense of security with his team, who had been more of a family than anything Daniel had ever had since he was a small child? He hadn't asked for his parents… did that mean he had memories from beyond his current age, and knew somehow that they weren't around anymore? Or was he just used to being left with other people because his parents had gone on frequent digs? She sighed - it was all just speculation. There wasn't much she could do but conjecture until Monday anyway. Even then, who knew?

Hammond had frowned at her when he ran into her outside of Teal'c's quarters. Before he could even remind her she'd been ordered off-base, she had quickly offered an apology. "I'm technically not even really here, sir, just giving Teal's a ride to the Colonel's house."

"Oh. Well, in that case, Major… wait, what?"

"Oh. Right. You didn't hear, I suppose… Danny had a terrible allergic reaction to my cat… and everything in my house that my cat has touched, which is basically everything, so… we're sort of all spending the weekend over at the Colonel's instead. Teal'c is coming too, I'm just waiting for him to pack his things."

"I see." Hammond seemed to be absorbing this new information with an inordinate amount of thought. Finally, he nodded and said, "Well… you two had better get going then. Have a good weekend, Major. see you both _Monday." _

Sam hadn't really thought about it at the time, but now that she recalled the brief conversation, it occurred to her that the General might not be too pleased with their altered arrangement… but surely he would have said something. Besides, with Teal'c there everything would be fine. Not that it wouldn't have been anyway, they were certainly capable of spending time alone away from the base taking care of Danny together without anything inappropriate happening, right? Speaking of which… Danny was sleeping at the moment, Colonel O'Neill and Teal'c were playing Simpsons chess in the living room… Sam glanced down the empty hallway and tiptoed quietly to the guest room.

She peeked in on Danny, who was sleeping peacefully with his triceratops. She covered him with the blanket that was tangled around his legs and looked around for the camera. Teal'c and the Colonel had been monopolizing the picture-taking, and he just looked so cute when he was sleeping… she snapped a quick picture, then remembered what she'd come into the bedroom for in the first place. She snuck her laptop out of her bag and crept out of the bedroom quietly, pulling the door shut behind herself.

She peered down the hallway towards the living room. Certain that her laptop would be confiscated if her CO found her using it, she headed for his little study instead - the room that always looked like nobody had ever been in there before. She set up her laptop and got to work.

vvvvvvvvvvvvvv

Jack looked up from the chess board and surveyed the room, then stood up and looked through towards the kitchen. He gave Teal'c a puzzled look and asked, "Where'd Carter go?"

"Of that I am unsure, O'Neill. I believe she went to check on Daniel Jackson some time ago. Perhaps she decided to join him for a nap."

Jack let out one laugh. "Unlikely. Carter, napping without having the doc pumping her full of drugs? Although she was up all night… if she doesn't turn up by the time I put you in check mate we'll form a search party."

"That gives her plenty of time then, O'Neill, for it is I who will be putting you in check mate."

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

Despite Teal'c's prediction, Jack actually did win. He would have gloated, but they were still trying to be quiet for Danny's sake. He could always gloat later… when they were in front of other people. Speaking of other people… "All right, let's go find Carter."

Teal'c followed, although he was fairly certain there was no need to go searching for Major Carter simply because they hadn't seen her in about an hour. They knew she was in the house, after all, and they were often separated for longer on off-world assignments, where certainly more danger could befall her than in O'Neill's home. Still, he followed O'Neill down the hall. They peeked into the guest room and quickly saw that Danny was the only one in there.

"That's weird," Jack mumbled as they shut the door again. Jack held up his hand suddenly and heard a faint, familiar tap-tap-tap. "She didn't," he said quietly, heading for his study.

They knocked and entered at the same time, Jack frowning as he found his missing 2IC. Working. Of course. She looked so caught that he had to stifle a laugh - Daniel had had a similar look on his face after he'd smooshed ice cream on Jack's shirt earlier.

"Oh Major Carter, what are you up to over there? Because I know you're not working after General Hammond ordered you to take the weekend off with Danny…"

"Well… technically watching Danny _is _working, and he just ordered me away from the base, he didn't specifically say I couldn't bring home my laptop and…"

He held up his hand. "All right, I get your point. But Carter… forgive me for stating the obvious here, but you're not a linguist. And you yourself told me that trunk thing is a non-doohickey."

"I may not be a linguist, sir, but I'm fairly certain _that's _not a word."

"You know what I mean."

"Yes… it's true that it wasn't emitting any detectable energy or… anything, but, obviously if it can make Danny younger it _is _a piece of technology…"

"All right, all right, it's frustrating you, we get it, right, Teal'c?"

"Indeed. However…"

Danny interrupted, calling, "Helloooooooooo? Sam? Daaaaaack?"

Laughing, Jack said, "I guess he's awake."

"Allow me to retrieve him," Teal'c said, already on his way out of the study.

Jack looked back at his 2IC, who was already trying to look back at the computer screen discreetly. He sighed and came around to the back of her chair, leaning over to peer at the screen. "All right, what are we looking at here?"

"These are images taken from the surface of the box, remember how it had those two little lines, one at the top, one at the bottom?"

"Uh, yeah. Sure."

She glanced over her shoulder with a small smile. "Well, Daniel thought they were decorative at first, but once these images were enlarged several hundred times, we realized it's some sort of alien language. It looks sort of like the undeciphered Furling language from the heliopolis we found when we…"

"Found Naked-Ernest," Jack supplied.

"Yes, I hear that's what he goes by now," she laughed.

"So this box thing is Furling?"

"Well, that's Daniel's area, really, but I think it's a safe assumption that there are at least connections between them. Maybe it's like the differences between old, middle, and modern English… not that it really matters since nobody can translate the Furling language anyway."

"How about Dad?" Jack suggested.

"General Hammond sent a message to him and to Thor already, but I don't know. I think the Tok'ra separated from the Goa'uld much more recently than when the confederation between the four races - Nox, Furling, Ancients, and Asgard - was formed…"

"So…"

They stopped talking as Daniel ran into the room with Teal'c following at normal Teal'c speed. "Sam! You back!"

"Yeah. Did you have a good nap?"

"Yup." He hugged her legs, then Jack's. "Swing me!"

Sam raised an eyebrow and watched as Jack picked Danny up and flipped him upside down, holding onto his little waist with both hands. Danny let his arms hang towards the ground, his long hair also sticking straight down as well. He giggled and waved to Sam. "Hi Sam!"

"Hi. You're upside down, huh?"

"No, you up-si-down!"

"From his perspective, he is correct," Teal'c contributed as he snapped a picture.

"Yeah, it's all relative, right Carter?" Jack smirked.

She returned the look, then suddenly got what Jack internally referred to as her "ah-HA!" face. She got to her feet quickly, the rolling chair sliding back into the book shelf behind her. "That's it, sir! You've done it again!"

"Always glad to hear that I've done it again," he said mildly, turning Danny upright and shifting him to one arm. "And how did I do it this time?"

"It's… it's the same. Look." She sat back down and rolled back up to the laptop. Teal'c crowded behind her as well. "Look… the picture on the left is from the line of writing around the top of the box. This one on the right is from the bottom."

Teal'c stated the obvious. "They are different."

"Yeah. But look what happens when I invert the second picture." She tapped a few keys and now the two sets of writing looked remarkably similar. "They still obviously say different things, but… this could be a big breakthrough. I mean, it effectively cuts the number of characters we have to decipher in half…"

"Great," Jack said. "Call the geeks at the base and tell them."

"But…" she started impatiently.

"Carter."

"Sam," Danny supplied, leaning over to pat her shoulder.

Jack rolled his eyes.

"It's just… I mean this could be an important breakthrough, sir, I should really go work on it…"

"And what, hide under your desk if General Hammond stops by?" She darted her eyes to the side for just a second, but it was enough to make him suspicious. "Wait a second… you haven't ever really done that before, have you?"

"Well…"

"Carter!"

"What? You probably hide under your desk to _avoid _having to do paperwork…"

"That is not the point," Jack said. He studied her thoughtfully for a moment.

Danny was looking back and forth between them, getting tired of being held. He had just woken up from a nap, after all, and all of his energy stores were recharged. "Down!"

Jack set Danny on his feet and he promptly took off out of the room. Teal'c followed after him, so Jack turned his attention back to Sam. "All right. How about a deal. You can work from what you've got on your little computer there. After Danny goes to bed and… part of the day tomorrow. Then Monday I'll tell Hammond you need to be back on the team working on the trunk."

She started an obligatory protest but stopped. It wasn't his fault Danny was sticking to her like glue, after all… "Okay. Deal."

"Good. Come on, let's go play outside before it gets dark."

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv


	18. Barbecue and Barf

A/N: These are technically not really spoilers, but just in case, you can skip ahead to the chapter if you like - I know lots of you do that already anyway;)

Relatively irrelevant conversation from earlier tonight whilst watching SG1. Me: Yeesh! Husband: Was that a good yeesh or a bad one? Me: Both, actually.

And how much do we love our new grey buddy? He's like the Fred Mertz of the Asgard world or something. And I LOVE his timing.

Want a note relevant to what you're about to read? All-righty-roo. For those curious, I wrote this story shortly after a visit with one of my nephews, who was about Danny's age at the time. He therefore inspired much of Danny, and as those of you who may have read any of the 'Compromising Positions' series know, most of those were inspired by some of my own more embarrassing situations. To that end, the last part of this chapter is purely the fault of my stepson -although he wasn't my stepson yet at the time of what we now refer to as 'the incident at the bar-be-cue.'Regardless, let me just say... having this happen to you with an eight year old is even _more _unpleasant than the events depicted below.

Ch 18

Despite the scraped chin Danny had picked up on his last outdoor romp, he was full of energy and loved playing outside. He rode his tricycle around the driveway. Sam took him on a tour of the block, and when they got back, Jack had put the chalk they got at the toy store to good use. He'd drawn a little course for Danny to follow with his trike.

"What's this?" Sam asked.

Jack stood up and wiped his hands on his pants - leaving bright chalk smears - and said, "What's it look like? Follow the yellow brick road."

"Yay!" Danny caught on quickly and the three adults moved out of the way so he could navigate the little course Jack had made. When Danny's legs finally got tired of pedaling, he finished decorating the pavement with chalk, although nobody else could quite tell what he was drawing. Jack went inside for a while, leaving Teal'c to watch - and photograph - Sam helping Danny with his driveway-mural.

When Jack rejoined them, he entered from the gate that went to the backyard and patio. "Hey, I'm going to cook outside for dinner. Hot dogs and burgers okay?"

"Sure, sounds great, sir."

"Indeed," Teal'c agreed.

"Good, glad you guys agree, because I only have one package of hot dogs, four buns, and a half-eaten bag of chips. So who wants to go to the store and who wants to stay here?"

"I did not bring a hat, so I will stay here with Daniel Jackson."

"Okay. Sam?"

"I'll stay with Danny."

"All right, keep an eye on the grill because the charcoal's already heating up and…"

"On second thought I'd rather go to the store."

"You sure?"

"Yeah." She got to her feet and started brushing off the multicolored chalk that had found its way onto her pants, shirt, arms, and hands. Last time she'd been left in charge of the grill, she had built up the fire way too hot and everything had burnt - which didn't help her "Carter can't cook to save her life" reputation.

vvvvvvvvvvv

Sam ran to the store quickly - it was only a few minutes from her CO's house, and it wasn't the first time one of them had to make a super-fast shopping trip for a team night food shortage. She realized, as she zipped items through the self-checkout, that she could find things better at this store than the one by her own house. Her phone rang as she was swiping her credit card. "Carter."

"Teal'c wants pickles and I'm out."

"Hi to you too. I got pickles already."

"Oh. Okay, good."

"I was just thinking we should invite Janet and Cassie."

"Good idea, call them. Oh crap! Teal'c!"

"What's wrong?" Sam asked, alarmed.

"Danny… he found himself an appetizer."

"So?"

"It's a worm."

"Ewwww… he didn't…"

"Nah, Teal'c got to him in time. One more thing to add to the list of things to tease him about."

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

When Sam pulled into the driveway, the gate was open. She grabbed what groceries she could and headed straight for the backyard. "Hi sir."

"Hi _Sam._"

"Right. Sorry _Jack. _Where is Danny anyway?"

"He is in the flower bed," Teal'c stated. He was sitting on the patio railing, watching Danny discreetly.

"And… why is he in the flower bed?" Sam asked, leaning over the railing to observe for herself.

"He is digging," Teal'c informed her.

She looked down at the absolutely filthy little boy and sighed. "I was only gone half an hour, how'd you get so dirty?"

He looked up at her and grinned, waving with his little plastic shovel. "I wike da dirt," he stated with all the seriousness a two and a half year old could possess, before going back to his little dead flower-bed excavation site.

"I was wondering how he found a worm," Sam commented.

"That's why Teal'c's watching him now. Come on let's get the rest of the groceries."

They made another trip for the rest of the bags and took everything inside. "Oh, Janet's coming, but Cassie already had plans."

"A date?"

Sam shrugged. "Jan didn't say, but I suppose you can interrogate her when she gets here."

vvvvvvvvvvvvv

However, Jack wasn't in a position to interrogate anybody when Janet Fraiser showed up. Following the smoke from the backyard, she let herself in and went unnoticed for several seconds. Jack was standing at his barbecue, but the meat on the grill was coming close to combusting and he had no idea. He was watching the strange scene in his backyard and laughing like Janet had never seen him laugh before.

Danny, looking like a tiny mudman, was running around the yard stark naked. Sam was chasing after him with a handful of muddy clothes, calling, "Daniel, get your bare little bum back over here!" Danny was laughing and running in an unpredictable pattern. "This is not funny, young man!" Everything she said only made Danny and Jack laugh harder… finally even Sam was laughing as well.

"I'd like to think I was at the wrong house, but I know I'm not," Janet said with an amused laugh.

"Oh hey, Doc, I didn't see you there."

"I didn't realize Sam's dinner offer meant entertainment would be provided as well."

"Yeah. He was playing in the dirt, but the food's almost ready so they're trying to get him cleaned up."

"They?"

"Teal'c's inside getting towels."

"I see."

"You could go assist Carter with the Daniel-wrangling," Jack suggested.

Janet didn't have much to do - as soon as Danny caught sight of her he ran the other way - straight into Sam, who scooped him up expertly and hurried inside with him, calling a greeting to Janet as she passed her.

"Well, my work here is done. Do you want me to go get the plates or something?"

"Sure, there's a bunch of stuff already out in the kitchen," Jack instructed, still chuckling over the sight of Sam carrying a squirmy, dirt-covered, toddler-version Daniel Jackson away.

Janet headed inside and was surprised at all the noise coming from the kitchen. "Should we not do this in the bathroom, Major Carter?"

"We just need to rinse him off, it'll be easier like this… here, hold him up."

Slipping her camera out of her pocket just in case, Janet entered Colonel O'Neill's kitchen to find that Sam and Teal'c were using the veggie sprayer to wash the dirt off of Danny in the sink.

"Do you see a wash cloth?" Sam asked. She was doing the spraying - Teal'c was holding onto the muddy and slippery little boy.

"I do not, Major Carter." Sam picked up the scrubby brush on the edge of the sink and was eyeing it thoughtfully.

Janet, despite how much she was enjoying watching the show, jumped in and said, "Wait a minute, Sam, I'll get you one!" Who knew how many millions of germs lived on the Colonel's most-likely rarely-used scrubby brush?

vvvvvvvvvvvvvv

Soon, Danny was clean and dry yet again, and dinner was ready. They all ate outside even though it was beginning to get cooler as the sun started its slow descent, enjoying the hot dogs and burgers the Colonel had cooked, as well as salad, chips, and the usual assortment of barbecue foods. "I've never seen him eat so much," Sam commented as Danny reached for yet another cut up hot dog piece and smooshed it in both catsup and mustard.

"He seems to have burned off a lot of energy today," Janet said.

"Yeah - and made about two loads worth of laundry," Jack grumbled.

"I believe I now understand why young Jaffa remain unclothed when the weather is fair," Teal'c commented thoughtfully as Sam leaned over to wipe a fresh mustard smear off of Danny's shirt.

As soon as he was done eating, Danny wanted to get down and play - and wanted Jack to go with him. Jack let the little boy drag him out into the yard obediently and started tossing the Nerf football to him - intentionally making it bounce just in front of him or lobbing it really gently so he wouldn't get hurt.

By the time all the remnants of the meal had been cleaned up, Jack and Danny had progressed to playing tag. "I really don't think he should be running around like that after eating so much," Janet commented quietly.

"You can't keep him still when he doesn't want to be," Sam said.

"Indeed," Teal'c agreed. "In that respect he is as he always has been."

"Still… he should really have some quiet time to digest his food."

"All right, go get the dessert and I'll try to keep him still," Sam instructed. She joined her teammates in the yard.

"Sam to pway too?" Danny asked, running over to her and jumping at her. She caught him and tried to toss him up in the air, but it wasn't nearly as easy for her to do as it was for Jack or Teal'c. Still, he seemed to enjoy it.

"Janet and Teal'c are bringing out the dessert," Sam said. Jack nodded and was about to ask if it was cake, when Danny suddenly threw up. All over Sam.

Jack had never heard his 2IC emit such a girly shriek before… not that he blamed her, of course. Had Danny thrown up all over him, he was pretty sure he would have reacted the same way. Fussy and crying, because throwing up made you feel terrible, he was dirty, and Sam had scared him. Danny was whining and crying as Jack approached his two vomit-covered teammates cautiously.

He wanted to help but he didn't want to be contaminated. "You okay?"

"I'm covered in Daniel-puke!"

"Okay, dumb question. Let's…"

"Oh God," Janet exclaimed as she and Teal'c came back out onto the patio and saw what had happened in their absence.

"Shall I get the hose _now, _O'Neill?" Teal'c asked.

"Yeah! Good thinking, Teal'c!"

"Colonel," Sam objected.

"What? It's a warm night… and you don't want to pull that vomit-shirt over your head do you?"

"This sucks," she muttered.

Danny, seeing Teal'c approach with the hose, started wailing loudly. He'd already been washed off and re-dressed several times today and he was sick of it! "Spray 'em, T! Doc, go get some more towels."

Janet hurried inside and grabbed several towels as well as the camera. Hey, pictures of this could prove invaluable eventually. When she got back outside, Jack was holding Danny, as far away from his body as he could, so that Teal'c could spray mostly Danny and Sam.

"Okay, that's enough, Teal'c, cut it out!" Sam spluttered repeatedly until Teal'c finally decided she had a point and stopped spraying them. Teal'c released the nozzle and went to put away the hose. Janet hurried out to them with the towels, wrapping Danny up in one first and trading him for the other towels, taking him from Jack.

He approached his 2IC tentatively with a towel held out as a peace offering. "Sorry about that, Carter."

"You make _one_ wet tee-shirt comment and Hammond will have to court martial me when I'm through with you," she said evenly, jerking the towel out of his hands and stalking back up to the house.

Janet realized her mouth was actually open, she was so surprised that Sam Carter had actually said that to her CO. She finally glanced at said CO, who looked like he was just as surprised - pleasantly surprised, though - at the remark. "What, I didn't say anything!" he called after her just before she disappeared inside.

He turned to Janet, who was giving him one of the looks she usually saved for when he was being an exceptionally difficult patient, and added, "Out loud anyway."


	19. Babe Watching

A/N: I'm actually quite fond of Danny's selection in this chapter, but for some reason it just seemed like the sort of thing O'Neill would hate.

Ch 19

When Sam finished showering and changing, she sighed grumpily as she towel-dried her hair. Danny was cute like this, definitely. And very sweet, and fun to be around when he didn't have various substances coming out of his body. But she much preferred their regular Daniel - apart from being an incredibly invaluable member of SG-1 and one of her best friends in the world, he required no help with his toileting needs, and had never once vomited on her.

The shower had given her time to calm down about the whole 'being hosed off like a circus elephant' thing as well. It actually had been the fastest way to get the vomit off, and her CO had made a valid point - having to peel the shirt off over her face and head would have been even more disgusting. It was more the principle of the thing, she supposed. Besides, her CO didn't have to look so amused - if the man had had a video camera in his hand, she probably would have ended up on one of those Funniest Videos shows.

"Sam?" Janet called, knocking on the closed door of the guest bedroom.

"Come on in, Janet."

Janet opened the door, carrying Danny, hair wet from yet another bath, wearing only a diaper. "Colonel O'Neill said Danny's clothes were in here too."

"Yeah, here." Sam went over to the dresser and grabbed some light blue pajamas that had a little bear on the pocket, as the sun had finished setting while she had been in the shower and there was no need to put him in yet another outfit before he went to bed. "He's okay, right?"

Janet divided her attention between getting Danny into his PJs and Sam. "Yes, he's fine. He just ate a lot and played too hard. Oh these are so soft. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," she said, nodding. "That was just about the grossest thing ever… but I'll live."

"Good. Well, I brought over some of Cassie's movies, and it would be good to keep Danny calm for a while, try to get him to sip some water or maybe some juice slowly."

"Duice?" Danny asked hopefully, lying still as Janet zipped him into his pajamas and set him on his feet.

"Sure. And a movie, does that sound good?" Janet asked.

He turned to Sam, looking suddenly like he might cry. "Sam mad me?"

"What? No, I'm not mad at you," Sam said quickly, picking him up and brushing his damp hair away from his face. "I know it was just an accident. Let's go pick out a movie, okay? And… if you feel like you need to throw up again, try to do it on Jack."

"Okay," he agreed.

Janet shook her head, smiling to herself.

Jack and Teal'c both looked up from where they were seated in the living room as Sam and Daniel entered. Both were squeaky clean. Danny was snug in his pajamas and shot them a happy smile from his spot in Sam's arms. "Clearly those two have kissed and made up," Jack commented to Teal'c.

"Indeed," Teal'c agreed. "May we now have our interrupted dessert, O'Neill?"

"Yeah, good idea."

Sam took Danny over to the movies Janet had brought and let him pick one out. Knowing Daniel as an adult - and having watched some of these movies with him already, with Cassie - Sam would have expected him to pick 'The Lion King' or 'Toy Story.'

As soon as he spotted 'Babe,' however, he snatched up the box and said, "Piggy!"

"You want to watch Babe?" Sam asked.

"Piggy movie," he insisted, pressing the movie into her and scrambling to his feet. He ran out of the room and came back with his stuffed dinosaur and climbed up into a corner of the couch as everyone else entered with plates of the dessert that they hadn't had a chance to have earlier. Sam put the video in and started it, taking a seat next to Danny on the couch.

"So, what are we watching?" Jack asked.

"Piggy!" Danny told him happily.

Jack stared at him for a few long moments, and looked to Sam for a translation. "What?"

"He picked Babe."

"Babe? That talking pig crap?"

"You've seen it?" Sam asked, surprised.

"Yeah, with Cassie. The brat let me assume it was about baseball and Babe Ruth and tricked me into taking her and Teal'c to see it."

Janet laughed. "I remember that."

"I enjoyed that film immensely, O'Neill. I would like to see it again," Teal'c said.

"Danny," Jack tried as the movie began, in an overly cheerful voice. "Wouldn't you rather watch Jurassic Park?"

"Huh?"

"Jurassic Park, it's got…"

"Jack, I really don't think we want to let him watch that… not if you'd like him to sleep tonight," Sam said quickly, interrupting him before he got to the 'd' word.

"All right," Jack grumbled, flopping down onto the couch next to her with unnecessary force. "I'll watch the stupid pig. But I'm going to need coffee to get through this thing a second time."

vvvvvvvvvvvvv

Even a strong cup of coffee wasn't enough to keep Jack alert during the movie - talking farm animals just weren't his thing. He found himself dozing off, although everyone else seemed to be enjoying it. Diverting his attention to the other people in his living room was far more interesting than the movie anyway. Danny was missing a lot of the plot points, Jack was certain, but the talking animals and funny voices were more than enough to hold his attention. Teal'c was sitting cross-legged on the floor in front of the coffee table, but after careful scrutiny of the back of his bald head, Jack was fairly certain that Teal'c was enjoying the movie as well.

And Janet - well, she was scaring the crap out of him, to be honest. She was intermittently crying quietly from the comfortable chair - the same one Cassie always picked when she was over, interestingly. Sam and Jack had given up asking her if she was okay a long time ago when she insisted, "I love this movie."

And Sam… Jack couldn't really tell if she liked the movie or not. Half the time when he turned sideways to look at her, she looked like she was paying attention to the movie and maybe even finding it mildly amusing, but the rest of the time she was miles away, thinking about something hard. Probably the trunk.

An insistent hand patting his arm drew him away from his musings. He looked down at Danny. "What?"

"I hungwy."

"Again?"

"Yup."

"Well, you should've thought of that before you threw up!" he said in a fake-stern voice, scooting to the edge of the sofa to get up. Danny latched himself onto Jack's back for a ride.

Jack stood up with a dramatic groan and went into the kitchen. "All right, how about something safe, just in case your tummy's still upset." He lowered Danny onto the counter and opened the cabinet above his head. "Cheerios? Those are safe and not that messy - I don't think either of us wants to have to change your clothes again today."

Danny spotted the yellow box and said, "Yeah, Cheer-os!"

"All right. Now, if it was just us guys, you could eat these right out of the box but since there are ladies present I suppose I'd better find you a bowl. How's the juice situation in there, you need a refill little guy?"

"No duice. Milk. Pwease."

"You don't still have a tummy ache, do you?"

"No Dack."

"You sure?"

"Yup."

"Even if I do this?" Jack asked, poking his tummy lightly.

Danny laughed and said, "Nope."

"Hmm. All right." Jack got a fresh cup of milk and poured a bowl of dry cereal, handing the cup of milk to Danny and scooping him up in one arm, carrying everything and everyone back into the living room. "Your movie sucks by the way," he added as he set Danny down in front of the sofa. "And don't be puking in my house, okay?"

"O-kay."

Jack set the bowl of cereal on the coffee table in front of Danny and sank back into the couch, crossing his arms and giving the pig on TV - who was now singing - a severe scowl. He glanced sideways at Sam and relaxed back into the couch more. When she turned to look at him, he whispered loudly, "What is with that little toupee on the pig?"

"I think it's kind of cute," she said thoughtfully, as though she'd seriously considered it. "And I don't know the exact growth rate of piglets, but I'm assuming they grow pretty fast, so I'm guessing they had to use lots of different pigs for Babe, and if they all have the toupee they're more easily identifiable, and people might notice differences in their appearances less."

He gaped at her. "Wow. You've given this a lot of thought."

"Just a tad," she said defensively. "I was actually thinking about the special effects, which are really good for the year this was made and the budget children's movies probably have and… well, my mind wandered."

"And here I thought you were thinking about Danny's trunk this whole time."

He'd been watching her carefully enough to try to figure out what she was thinking about? That was just wrong in a lot of ways. She blinked at him in surprise for several long moments and was about to respond when Danny, finished with his snack, ran round the table to Teal'c and patted his shoulder insistently. "Tea, 'mon, getup!"

"I am quite comfortable, Danny."

"No, mon to da couch wiff DackanSam and me." He tugged at Teal'c's shirt insistently.

"Very well," Teal'c said, getting to his feet and following Danny to the other end of the couch. Once he had made his massive frame comfortable and propped his feet up on the coffee table, the couch was full. Apparently this was exactly what Danny wanted. He climbed up in the small space left between Sam and Teal'c and grabbed his dinosaur, which had been in Sam's lap. Tucking it under one arm, he squirmed around until he was right up against Teal'c, and hugged his huge arm, pressing his face into Teal'c like a pillow - although Teal'c's biceps certainly weren't the least bit soft, even when they weren't flexed.

Janet was watching the reorganization with interest, as were Jack and Sam. She smiled at Sam. "He looks extra tiny now, since Teal'c's arms are bigger than he is. He's so cute."

"Yeah, he's precious," Jack said tersely. "Is this movie almost over, or what?"

She glanced at the screen. "About halfway, Colonel."

"Ohforcryinoutloud," he muttered, rearranging the throw pillows to make himself more comfortable, crossing his arms for good measure.

Sam scooted closer to him as well, since there wasn't much space left on the couch. Once everyone was settled again, she leaned in to talk quietly and said sweetly, "Not that we were buying the grumpy act in the first place, sir, but we could hear you talking to Daniel in the kitchen. It was very thoughtful of you to ask him about his tummy."

He glanced at her sideways, looking away quickly in that way he tended to do, and replied, with double his usual grumpiness, "First of all, you're in your pajamas so I think you can drop the 'sir,' and I'm getting tired of having to remind you of the rules. And second of all, I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Didn't think so, _Jack_. And… for the record, you were right."

"What?"

"I _was _thinking about the trunk too."

"I knew it!" he exclaimed, louder than he meant to.

"O'Neill, you are disrupting our movie," Teal'c said firmly.

"Sshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh," Danny added insistently. Jack leaned around Sam to look at the little guy, and chuckled when he saw the firm scowl on his normally sweet and pleasant face. He was holding his little finger to his mouth and looking very stern for someone in fleece footy pajamas holding an orange and yellow dinosaur.

"Sooooo sorry, please excuse me," Jack said sarcastically.

"Boys, this may not be the infirmary, but I'll still separate you," Janet called.

Sam hastily turned a snort of laughter into a cough as the threat actually worked - the man-turned-child and the childish man on each side of her both settled back into their respective neutral corners and turned their attention back to the television.

When the movie ended, only Janet, Teal'c, and Sam were still awake - and Sam was barely awake, blinking drowsily. As the credits rolled, Janet sat up in her chair and turned her attention to the crowded sofa. Danny was sound asleep, sprawled across Teal'c's lap now. Sort of like a cat, almost, Janet thought absently.

Sam and Jack were sitting with their sides touching, and the sleepier Sam got, the more her head seemed to drift towards his shoulder. Currently, there was only about a half-inch to go, but she wasn't quite asleep yet, although she didn't seem to have noticed that the television screen she was looking at had switched to the final credits and there wasn't really anything left to watch. Jack had conked out shortly after Danny had told him to shush, head resting on the cushion with his face pointed almost straight up, mouth open. He was snoring quietly, but from across the room Janet could barely hear it.

When Teal'c was busy looking down at Daniel, Janet quickly snapped another picture of all of them - Cassie was going to love some of the shots she had gotten tonight. The flash, unfortunately, roused Sam. She sat up and yawned into the back of her hand. "Good movie."

"Indeed," Teal'c agreed. "Major Carter, I do not believe I can get young Danny out of my lap without awakening him."

"I'll do it, don't worry." Sam got to her feet with a slight groan and stretched before leaning over Teal'c and carefully cradling Danny in her arms, yawning again. "See? I'm getting good at it."

"Sam, do you need any help with anything before I go?" Janet asked.

"No thanks. We're just all going to bed, I think."

"All right, well, tell the Colonel thanks for me tomorrow, okay?"

"Sure. Goodnight." Janet waved to Teal'c and showed herself out as Sam took Danny into the guest room and tucked him in.

She grabbed the blanket that had found its way into their room and a spare pillow and took them out to Teal'c. "Are you okay out here, Teal'c?"

"I will be fine, Major Carter. As soon as O'Neill removes himself from my bed."

Sam handed Teal'c the pillows and smiled at him. "I'm really glad you're here, Teal'c. Thank you."

He gave her that look that meant he knew exactly what it was she wasn't saying, and nodded. "You are more than welcome, Major Carter." Then he turned back to their sleeping CO and said, "O'Neill."

Jack jerked awake - there was something in Teal'c's voice that instantly brought him out of the deepest sleep, and looked up at his two teammates blankly for a few moments. "Movie over?"

"Yes, s… yes. It's over."

"So, did the pig get turned into bacon?"

"That's horrible!" Sam exclaimed, as Teal'c said, "O'Neill, that would not be a good ending for a children's film."

Chuckling, he held out a hand to both of them and they pulled him to his feet. "Where's the little one? And… the really little one?"

"Janet just went home, and Danny's in bed already."

"Ah. Smart boy, that Daniel Jackson. Night, campers."

Teal'c said goodnight to both of them, and they headed down the hallway towards their respective rooms together, walking slowly because they were both half-asleep already.

When they stopped in front of hers, they both looked down at their hands in confusion - apparently he'd never quite let go of her hand after she'd helped him to his feet. They dropped their hands quickly and took a half step apart, exchanged awkward goodnights and smiles, and hurried into their rooms.

As Sam finished getting ready for bed and slipped under the covers, she looked at Danny for several long moments before turning off the bedside lamp. She adjusted the covers around him and said quietly, "You know, you're managing to cause an awful lot of trouble for somebody so small."


	20. Sunday Strategy

A/N: Sorry I forgot to post yesterday - I fell asleep between the twins' dinner and mine, threw off my schedule, and just didn't think of it until this afternoon.

Ch 20

When Danny woke up the next morning, he squirmed closer to Sam and looked at her carefully. She was still asleep. He scrambled off the foot of the bed instead and looked down at himself as he got to his feet. He needed a new diaper, definitely. He unzipped his pajamas and sat down on the floor, wriggling out of them. It was too hot with them on anyway, and much more fun like this.

He pulled at the little tabs on his diaper until he got those off as well, and got to his feet triumphantly. He ran over to his diaper bag and pulled out a fresh one, unfolding it and holding it up. Okay, this part he needed help with. He looked back over at Sam, and was about to go wake her up when he heard Jack and Teal'c up and moving around in the rest of the house. They would do. The doorknob took some work, but he got it open, very proud of himself.

He trotted down the hall and found Jack in the den. "Dack help me!"

Jack looked up from the toys he was cleaning up and burst out laughing. Danny was running towards him waving his diaper like a banner. "Okay… you know, it doesn't say anything in your personnel file about your exhibitionist tendencies. Come here."

Jack put the diaper on and asked, "Is Sam still asleep?"

"Yup."

"Wow, and you didn't wake her up? Good job, little buddy."

"Tea?"

"He's taking a shower. Are you hungry?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, let's go find something to fix everybody for breakfast. And… considering how much laundry you've been creating lately, you can just eat like that. We'll put your clothes on later, since you seem to prefer being naked anyway."

vvvvvvvvvvvvvv

Jack peeked into the guest room, surprised that Sam had stayed asleep so long, since apparently Danny hadn't closed the door behind him when he got up that morning. She was curled up under the covers in a little ball in the middle of the bed, apparently taking advantage, in her sleep, of having the bed to herself without having to worry about squashing the toddler sleeping next to her. One foot was poking out from the mass of covers.

"Uh, Carter? You awake?" he called in a low voice. The foot didn't move. He entered the bedroom quietly, glancing down at the discarded pajamas and diaper on his way to the bed. "Carter? You in there?" He sat down on the edge of the bed and studied the lump of covers for a moment.

He ran a fingertip along the bottom of her foot and it was promptly jerked back underneath the comforter with the rest of her. He chuckled and patted her leg - or where he estimated her leg would be based on her foot's previous location. "Come on, Sam, wakey wakey eggs and bakey."

After a few moments of silence, she called, "Really?"

"Ah, you _are _under there somewhere. Yeah. It's all ready - Danny and Teal'c are already digging in, actually. You can sleep if you want but cold eggs are pretty gross, so…"

"No, I want to get up…" She fumbled under the comforter for a moment, getting untangled, and finally emerged, propping herself up on one elbow, rubbing her eyes with the other hand, and looking at him uncomfortably. "Um, Jack?"

"What?"

"Could you move your hand?"

He looked down at the hand he had patted her with and his eyes widened as he pulled it back obediently. His estimation hadn't been quite right, apparently. Hey, it was hard to tell with all those layers. "Sorry. I'll uh… go save you a seat at the table."

She watched him retreat quickly and kicked off the rest of the covers in annoyance, flopping back onto the bed for a moment and staring up at the ceiling, giving herself a full ten seconds to think about how weird this whole situation was. She sighed and rolled off the bed.

On her way to the bathroom, she stepped on the diaper Danny had discarded. The cold, wet diaper that he had left face up. She swore loudly and tried to shake the diaper off of her foot, but the sticky tab was stuck to her heel and it wouldn't come loose. Extremely grossed out, she started hopping on the foot that did _not _have pee on it or a diaper stuck to it, stumbling into the hallway, where Jack was coming to see why she had felt it necessary to expose Danny to such colorful language first thing in the morning.

Preoccupied with her own problem, she hopped right into him and crashed to the floor. He tried to grab her and keep her from falling but he was too slow - he'd been taken by surprise when she hurtled out of the guest room straight into him. She lay there on the floor in the hallway, the wind knocked out of her, looking up at him.

Jack looked back at her curiously, trying to look sympathetic, but there was an amused twinkle in his eyes that he couldn't get rid of. It was an unnecessary question given the fact that she had a diaper stuck to her foot, but he had to ask it anyway. "What happened?"

"Wet diaper. I stepped on it."

"Oh no. I uh… sorry. I meant to get that but I was kind of… leaving in a hurry…"

"I know."

He peeled the diaper off her foot and rolled it up to properly dispose of it. "You're having a rough morning," Jack said sympathetically, grabbing her hands and pulling her to her feet - well, foot.

She hung onto his arm for balance, not wanting to put a urine-covered foot on his carpet. "It's okay," she said, taking a deep, resigned breath. "I must have had too much relaxing yesterday." Jack figured bringing up the fact that she'd been vomited on last night wasn't a good idea, so he kept his mouth shut and helped her hop-walk to the bathroom.

vvvvvvvvvvvvvv

Sam found the rest of her team in the kitchen after she spent a good five minutes scrubbing her foot. Teal'c appeared to be about halfway through a huge plate of eggs, as well as who knew how many pieces of bacon and slices of toast. Danny had egg on his face - in the literal sense. He was insisting on feeding himself, with his fingers.

"Hi Sam!" he called cheerily when he saw her enter.

"Hi Danny. Thanks for the present you left in our room, that was just lovely."

He looked at her blankly. Jack chuckled. "He's smart, but I don't think he gets sarcasm yet, Sam."

"He's been around you for a few days now, it's probably starting to sink in," she responded, smirking at _him _for a change. She turned back to Danny, who still looked confused, and asked him a question he could answer. "Whatcha got there?"

"Eggies," he said, offering her a slobbery handful of smushed scrambled egg particles as she sat down next to him.

"Ah, that's okay, you eat those, I'll just get my own," she said quickly, taking the plate Jack passed her with a smile. "Thanks, though."

As they worked their way through breakfast, Jack asked, "So what does everybody want to do today?"

Danny shrugged and picked up a toast triangle slathered with jam. "Pway?" he suggested.

"We could play here, or we could try to think of something fun to do," Jack said. "I was thinking of the zoo."

"The zoo?" Sam asked skeptically, as Danny exclaimed, "Zoo! Zoo!"

"See? I knew if he liked the talking pig he'd like the zoo."

"I'm sure he'd love it, s… Jack," Sam said carefully. Danny was already bouncing in his seat as much as he could. "But he couldn't even stay with my one little cat for more than a couple of hours without having a major allergy attack."

"Oh, yeah."

"No zoo?" Danny asked, visibly deflating.

"Maybe if we gave him some allergy medicine before… but you're probably right."

"Well, he's all excited now, though," Sam said, not wanting to disappoint the little guy. "Hey, I just remembered something that would be perfect!"

"What?"

"This place we took my niece and nephew when they visited… it's about half an hour from here, it's called the Rocky Mountain Dinosaur Research Center, or something like that. It's a museum and lab and a bunch of other things… Mark's kids loved it."

"Dino-saws? Yeah, wet's go!"

"That settles that. Do you remember where it is?"

"I think so, but I could go look it up on the internet to be sure."

"Sounds just boring enough to me to mean that you and Danny will love it," Jack said with a smile, getting to his feet with the plate. "Although…"

"What?"

"Well, it just sounds like this is going to take up most of the day, and I thought you wanted to spend half of it working," he said innocently, knowing that since Danny was already so excited, she wasn't about to back out now.

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv


	21. The Dinosaur Center

A/N: Sorry to be a little picky for a moment, but I got lots of comments about there not being a zoo in Colorado Springs - how so many people know or care about this detail is a bit of a mystery to me, but since it was more than one person I thought I'd respond. Now, I've never been to Colorado, but my oldest brother has not only been there, he's also taken his children to the dinosaur place in this chapter _and_ to a lovely little place called the Cheyenne Mountain Zoo. Since our beloved SGC is _in _Cheyenne Mountain, I'm assuming the two are fairly close to each other.

Ch 21

An hour later they had the stroller, well-stocked diaper bag, and themselves ready to go. Almost. "T, man, aren't you going to get dressed, where's your hat?" Jack asked as Sam sat down on the floor with Danny to help him with his shoes - he could do the Velcro himself, but he hadn't quite figured out which shoe was supposed to go on which foot.

"I was not banned from the base this weekend, O'Neill. I thought I would return to the base and exercise, as I was unable to do so yesterday." Teal'c was giving them the calm, arguing-will-be-pointless look.

"Oh yeah, sure. No problem."

"I will return this evening."

"See you later, Teal'c," Sam called as they headed out the door.

The drive to the Dinosaur Center gave Sam time to recall what had happened the last time she and Jack took Danny somewhere together, alone. Running into Sarah's friend, among other things, had forced them very, very close to that line they tried to avoid. Since then they had spent most of their time with other people. Now though, they were going on another "family outing" type of thing… and she just realized the whole thing had been her idea in the first place.

When they got to the dinosaur place, it took them ten minutes to convince Danny to get in the stroller. He was way too excited about seeing dinosaurs to be strapped down in a little seat and wheeled around, after all. "Please, Danny? It'll be easier for the museum part… but when we get to the kids' section you can get out, okay?" Sam bargained, remembering how Jack had got him in the stroller at the mall.

"Okay."

When they bought their tickets, the girl at the counter smiled at Danny - he had insisted on wearing his cargo shorts, his hat, and one of his dinosaur shirts - he'd chosen the Velociraptor today. "I take it you like dinosaurs," she said to Danny.

"I wuv dem," he said solemnly, nodding.

She smiled and handed them their tickets. "What a cutie-pie. Here's a schedule of children's events for today, a map, and a balloon - all the kids get dinosaur balloons today."

"Thanks," Jack said, passing the papers to Sam, who leafed through it briefly before pocketing it. He handed the yellow helium-filled balloon to Danny, who looked up at it, jerking the string to make it move. It had a T-Rex on the side. Remembering that most small children inevitably gave into the temptation to release a balloon to watch it float away, then regretted the loss when it was out of sight, Jack said, "Let's tie that to the stroller so you don't lose it."

"Kay." Danny passed over the string obediently and watched carefully as Jack secured it to the handle of the stroller.

"There, ready?"

"I am."

"Yup."

"Well then, to Oz."

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

Jack quickly realized that taking two scientists - even if one of them was currently a toddler - to a museum of any sort was… not easy for a man with his attention span for all things geeky. He felt like they were crawling along at a snail's pace. While Sam, of course, hadn't made a career out of anything dinosaur related, he quickly realized that she must have at least gone through a dinosaur phase when she was a kid. Then again, what kid - particularly one with a tendency towards all things scientific, hadn't?

Danny was getting more and more frustrated from his confined seat - it was crowded, and he couldn't see everything through people's legs. Jack finally realized why he was squirming so much and wheeled him over to a bench. "You need a break?" Sam asked, figuring Jack had hit his geek-threshold. She'd been expecting it for a while. "There's a tour about to start, I could take Danny through alone and meet you if you want…"

"Nah, it's not that," he said, unbuckling Danny from the stroller. "He can't see enough."

"How do you…"

"He's _Daniel, _he can never see enough when it comes to fossils." She smiled. "But in this case… I meant he's getting a great view of knees and legs. Come here, Danny." He lifted him, intending to put him up on his shoulders, then stopped. "Let's get you in a fresh diaper first… who knows how long this tour is."

"I think it's about an hour," Sam said, taking the diaper bag off the stroller. "And I think it's my turn."

Jack looked over to where a bunch of kids and parents - a lot more kids than parents, though, it seemed - were gathering by the entrance to another part of the museum. He set Danny down and said, "You better hurry then."

"Okay, come on, Danny." She took his hand so he could stretch his legs a little after being in the stroller, and hurried him to the restroom.

Jack was eyeing the growing crowd carefully - they'd have to wait half an hour if they missed this group, and he knew they'd both want to wait. Luckily, Sam and Danny came hurrying back over just in time, Danny trotting next to Sam so his little legs could keep up with her.

"That's a lot of people," Sam commented as Jack picked Danny up again and plopped him on his shoulders.

"Yup, and now he's taller than all of them. Come on." She dumped the diaper bag in the seat of the stroller and they barely made it to the group.

Danny was definitely the youngest child in the group that was actually paying attention. There were a few toddlers either fussing in their strollers or trying to sleep, and even one infant in a baby sling, but those were all clearly younger siblings to older dinosaur-nutty kids. The tour guide - a man about twenty or so who was so overly-enthusiastic about everything that Jack had to stifle a groan, was thankfully using a microphone, so Danny could still hear the tour over all the noise. For kids who were obviously so crazy about dinosaurs, some of the kids in the group were making an awful lot of noise. Then, of course, their parents telling them to be quiet was often even more distracting.

Jack, who was holding onto Danny's feet with both hands just in case, zoned in and out on what Tour Guide Ted had to say. He'd pick up on the things that drew oohs and ahhs and wows from the kids, but after "World's largest monasaur!" and "World's only Pachycephalosaurus!" he tended to give the displays a rough once over - they were all right, those dinosaurs. Nothing to go crazy about, in his opinion, but interesting enough to look at. For a while.

Sam kept glancing up at Danny to check on him, surprised at how quiet he was being, and worried that maybe he was bored and not quite old enough for this after all, but each time he was paying attention, and most of the time he was staring at the dinosaur skeletons or models with his mouth open. "That's kind of cool," Jack admitted quietly when they got to "the world's only complete juvenile T-Rex skeleton."

Sam said the same thing when they got to the fossil laboratory, where there were large windows for people to observe scientists working on new things - currently a 25-foot shark found in Kansas.

"Hey, Sam?" Jack whispered. "How did a shark get to Kansas?"

She whispered, "Continental drift, I suppose, and… I can explain it later if you really want to know."

"That's okay. He's not in Kansas anymore, is he?"

"Very funny."

"I thought you'd like that one." He tilted his head up as much as he could as Danny started patting him on the head insistently. "What?"

"Shhh," Danny scolded, putting his finger to his mouth.

"Okay, sorry. Carry on, dino-boy."

The tour ended near the children's section that had all sorts of little hands-on activities. Since most of the tour was children at least five, some as much as ten or eleven, it got crowded and crazy in there, fast. Jack and Sam watched the chaos erupt, watched various parents trying to keep an eye on all their children, and turned to each other.

"Let's come back here later," Sam suggested.

"I was just about to say that," Jack agreed.

They were around a display of herbivores, so Sam found an easy distraction. "Look, Danny, triceratops, like your stuffy."

Since the room was empty now, Jack said, "You ready to get down?"

"Yeah!"

"I'll get him." Sam pulled him off Jack's shoulders and set him down. He immediately ran over to the guard rail of the triceratops display, as close as he was allowed. They were all animatronics, on a timer.

"Hey dey are not moving," Danny said, wrinkling his nose and turning to Sam, who had followed quickly in case he tried to get a little _too _close.

"Oh, they'll move again in a few seconds, I bet," Sam said. "Look, did you see the nest of eggs over here? Let's count them while we wait for the dinosaurs to move again…"

Jack found a nearby bench where he could still see and hear them both and also see through to the crowded area, and sat down with the stroller. He rolled his neck a bit, feeling it twinge. Maybe he shouldn't have put the kid up there for quite so long.

He watched Sam and Danny watch the dinosaurs - and it was the least boring part of their trip so far. He couldn't help but be amused, still, by the fact that these were his scientists - the two smartest people at the SGC - and he was watching them count fake dinosaur eggs. When the dinosaurs started moving again, Danny jumped, startled, and grabbed Sam's leg. Then, apparently he found being scared funny, because he started giggling.

"I owe you an apology."

Jack turned to the speaker - Tour Guide Ted. "You what?"

"I owe you an apology," he repeated, sitting down at the other end of the bench and nodding towards Danny and Sam. "I predicted he'd be the biggest disrupter of the group."

"Ah."

"I mean, usually if there are babies and toddlers on the tour there's some crying… sometimes they get scared when we get to the ones that move… it causes lots of problems. And your little boy was up so high I spotted him right away and figured he'd be the screamer."

"Well… you caught him on a good day. He was too overwhelmed by all the dinosaurs to make any noise, I think."

"Well, it looks like you've got a future paleontologist there," Ted said. "Especially with that little hat - that's great."

"I don't know, I think he'll be an archaeologist," Jack couldn't resist making the slight distinction.

"Well, I'm off. But I hope you all enjoy the rest of your day. And when he gets a little older, you should check out our Day Camps for kids - they get to dig up their own fossils and put them together and stuff - it's great."

"Uh, yeah, maybe. Thanks Ted." Ted left with a cheerful wave and smile, leaving Jack to privately hope Danny wouldn't be young long enough to grow up enough to go to camp.

Danny came running back over to him, doing the rapid-chattering thing where Jack could only pick up a couple of words here and there. "Um, can you watch him for a minute, I need to find the ladies room," Sam said.

"Sure, it's not as crazy here… Danny, want to go play in the kid area?"

"Yeah!" He let Danny drag him into the children's area and helped him figure out what each little station was for, trying to keep an eye on the stroller.

When Sam came back, she brought the stroller closer, as the area was much less crowded now, although a dozen or so kids were still running from station to station. Danny looked so little compared to the rest of the older kids, both Jack and Sam were worried about losing him in the crowd, but he was happy to stay with them and didn't try to wander. "Much better than what we're used to from him, huh," Jack commented lightly.

"Oh yeah. It's getting pretty late though, he's probably hungry, even though we ate breakfast late."

"Yeah. He had a snack in the car but you're probably right. Danny, you want to go get some lunch?"

"No."

"Aren't you hungry?"

"No."

They looked at each other. "You think he's lying so he can stay with the dinosaurs?"

"I don't think a toddler is really capable of _lying… _but I think if we put food in front of him he would remember that he's hungry."

"Po-tay-to po-tah-to," Jack shrugged. "We could just eat here if he wants to keep looking around."

"You're not ready to go?"

"He's not," he said simply, shrugging again. "But they probably only have junk food."

"We could just get him a snack," Sam suggested. "Let's go see. Come on, Danny, we're going to go get a snack, then come look at the dinosaurs some more."

The little café next to the gift shop had corn dogs, so Sam grabbed a table in the crowded seating area while Jack waited in line. All the high chairs were being used, so Sam scooted up to the table with Danny in her lap. The woman at the extremely crowded table next to her - two women, three children, and a baby, leaned over to speak to Sam. "Excuse me, could we borrow your salt?"

"Hmm? Oh, sure, take it." She passed her the salt, scanning the kids at the table - they hadn't been the loudest on the tour group, but they'd been in a close second. Half of them weren't even sitting, standing around the table so they could move and swap chips - and fight over the toys that came with the kids' meals.

"Thanks," the woman said as she returned the salt. "I noticed you on the tour," she continued, smiling at Danny. "He was up so high, and with that little hat on he's hard to miss."

"Yeah." Sam was trying to be friendly without being so friendly that she got into a lengthy conversation and either had to outright lie about her relationship to Danny, or use the old 'he's my nephew' excuse.

"He's so well-behaved."

"For the most part," Sam agreed.

"I couldn't believe it - he's so little and he never made a sound. How old is he?"

"Two and a half."

"Wow. He's so quiet."

"Ha!" Jack said as he joined them, carrying two corn dogs and two sodas. While Danny was being pretty quiet at the moment, it wasn't an adjective Jack would generally attribute to the toddler. He set a plate in front of Sam and Danny and sat down across from them with the other one.

"I thought you were going to wait until we left," Sam said, amused, picking up the catsup and mustard and making two little pools on Danny's plate for him to dip.

Jack smiled. "Well, I didn't want to make him eat all alone."

"Ah, wait a second, Danny, let's get your bib," Sam said suddenly as he was about to take a big bite of his corndog.

"I'll get it." While Jack dug around in the diaper bag for the bib, Sam slid the mustard over to Jack. "Well, I found the water." He set the sippy cup on the table and kept digging.

"Huuuuungwy," Danny moaned dramatically, as though he were starving to death.

"Hold your horses little buddy, I'm working on it!"

Sam slid Danny's hat off so that it hung by its strings, just in case. He'd probably figure out a way to get catsup on it otherwise. "Ah ha!" Jack exclaimed triumphantly, producing the bib as though he'd unearthed the Holy Grail.

He passed it to Sam and set about fixing his own corndog to his liking as she snapped the bib around Danny's little neck and slid his plate back within his reach. Jack took a sip of his soda and grimaced. "That one's yours, definitely. And I'm going to get some napkins. The bib needs reinforcements, it's about to come under heavy fire."

She swapped their sodas and tasted the new one - definitely Diet. The women at the next table, who had given the two oldest kids with them permission to go over to the gift shop, which was within sight and had the benefit of significantly reducing the noise level of their table, were laughing quietly. The one who'd spoken to Sam caught her eye again and said, "I'm sorry, but we had a bet about your husband earlier - and my sister thinks she just won. We couldn't help but overhear and she's convinced he's military. I don't know if you know but there's a base near here and…"

"Liz, leave her alone," the other woman scolded, then smiled at Sam. "I'm sorry, feel free to ignore her - if possible. I haven't figured out how in thirty-four years, but…"

Sam laughed, but she was getting uncomfortable. If they'd spotted Jack as military and knew there was a nearby base…

Jack came back with a huge stack of napkins just then, and smiled at everyone, surprised that Sam was still talking to the people at the table next to them. "Hi. Jack O'Neill."

"I'm Karen, this is Elizabeth…" she turned to Sam.

"Oh, sorry. Um, I'm Sam. This is Danny." She had a very bad feeling about the look Elizabeth had on her face.

She saw the light bulb click on just before Elizabeth said, "Wait a minute… Jack O'Neill… you're a Colonel, aren't you? Air Force."

Jack put his defensive face on but his friendly tone didn't really change as he said, "Okay are you psychic or…"

"My husband works with you - or at the same base. Cheyenne Mountain, right?"

"Deep Space Radar Telemetry," Sam, Jack, and Elizabeth said at the same time. Karen just rolled her eyes.

"Who's your husband?" Sam asked, confused.

"He's a Captain. Alan Connors?"

Sam would have spit out her drink if she hadn't been holding Danny on her lap - Captain Connors was on SG-12. As she didn't want to spit diet soda on Danny, she merely swallowed wrong and choked. "You okay?" Jack asked. She nodded and swallowed a few more sips. "We ah… do know him, actually."

"I didn't realize he was married now," Sam said.

"Less than a year," Elizabeth said. "Oh, all of these kids are Karen's."

"I see. Wow. Well…"

"Speaking of the kids, we have to get going. Jeffrey and Alex have swim practice."

"Well, it was nice meeting you," Sam said politely.

"Yeah, you too," Elizabeth said enthusiastically. "I'll be sure to tell Alan I ran into you, Colonel O'Neill."

"Great," Jack said. Sam picked up on the hint of sarcasm but luckily the other two women didn't. It was his most subtle shade.

They waited until the other women had gathered all their children and left before they looked at each other and sighed. "Well… this should up the betting pools considerably," Jack finally said.

Sam shrugged. "Anybody in on base gossip will already know about… Danny."

"Yeah, but come on, it's not like we were ordered to bring him here and…"

Sam just remembered that she hadn't had a chance to correct Elizabeth when she'd assumed Jack was her husband. Granted, that had been before they'd exchanged names, but… "Hey, wait! I never even said my full name or anything. They won't know I work there too."

Jack laughed. "Sam, come on. She's going to tell Connors that she ran into Colonel O'Neill and his family. He's going to ask her what she means, because he knows I'm not married. She'll describe you and Danny, and he'll know exactly who you are."

Sam blushed - Jack luckily didn't know about the 'husband' remark that had slipped by, but it would certainly come up when Elizabeth went home. After a few moments, Jack shrugged. "Oh well. Hammond knows we're watching Danny, and people are going to say whatever they're going to say."

"I guess," Sam said doubtfully.

"Besides," Jack added as he finished his corn dog. "A new rumor like that will deflect from the fact that I was spotted in a geeky place like this in the first place. I have a reputation to protect, you know."

"Oh, please," Sam muttered.

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

After visiting the few rooms that weren't covered in the tour, going back to the children's center again, and visiting the juvenile T-Rex, or as Danny called it, "Baby Wex," once more, Jack and Sam were both ready to go.

Danny, apparently, would have been happy to move in though. He was slowing down, however. He even got back into the stroller after a while, voluntarily. It was way past his usual nap time. "Ready to go, Danny?" Sam asked hopefully.

"No, more dino-saws!"

"We've seen them all though, sweetie."

"We can see dem again dough," he argued.

Jack stopped the stroller and crouched down in front of Danny. "Hey Danny, want to go to the gift shop and get another dinosaur… thing before we leave?"

"Yeah!"

"Bribery, Jack?" Sam asked as Jack gave him a hand out of the stroller.

"Works every time," he said with a shrug. As they headed towards the gift shop - which was enormous, and apparently where all those other children had ended up as well, Jack added, "Like you weren't going to want to take him there anyway."

vvvvvvvvvvvvv

Danny was either stalling or being very picky in the gift shop. He didn't want a different stuffed dino from the one he already had. He didn't like any of the hats with dinosaurs on them as much as the one he was wearing… it went on and on.

Sam found some children's dinosaur books that he didn't have and said, "How about this, Danny?" He sat down and started looking through it immediately, clearly planning on taking his time with the book. Some things just never changed.

Jack groaned. "Come on, buddy, this isn't a library… if you want it you can look at it in the truck."

Sam crouched down next to Danny so there was less chance of him being stepped on, and picked up a dinosaur coloring book and a sticker book. "How about these?" He looked at the covers for a few moments, took them from her, and put them in his lap underneath the book he was still looking at.

Jack just groaned and looked around. "Okay, how about these puzzles too? He doesn't have any puzzles."

"Good idea. Let's check out now, while there's no line."

They hurried up to the register, and it was Tour Guide Ted again. Jack nodded at him. "I thought you were off."

"The woman who usually runs the gift shop had to leave early," he said as he started ringing up the puzzles and the books Danny would let go of.

"Danny, I need that book for a minute," Sam said.

"No. Not done."

"Come on, they have to scan it so we can buy it and you can take it home." He looked genuinely worried that if he handed the book over now, he might never see it again. Sam smiled at him and shook her head slightly - it was very hard to resist those eyes. "Come here, you can hand it to the cashier yourself and watch him scan it, okay?" She picked him up and Danny did reluctantly hand over the book.

"Must be a good one," Ted commented, scanning it quickly and handing it back to Danny. While Jack paid, Sam strapped Danny back into the stroller. "You know all these books and puzzles are for older kids, right?" Ted asked as he slid them into a bag and handed it to Jack.

Not up for another conversation about how brilliant 'their' toddler was, Jack nodded and said, "Yes, but he's an old soul."

vvvvvvvvvvvvv


	22. Car Talk

A/N: Thanks to everyone who explained the zoo controversy to me (and sent me links to the zoo and to that blog article thing) - I didn't realize what I'd stumbled into on that one!

Ch 22

When they were on the road heading back towards Colorado Springs, Sam said, "I can't believe you said that about Daniel being an old soul."

"What, you don't think it's true?" he asked casually, not taking his eyes off the road.

She turned in her seat to look at Danny, in his car seat behind her. He was asleep already - he had barely made it out of the parking lot, head tilted sideways against the side of the car seat. He still had his hat on but it was crooked. His new book was open in his lap, and his stuffed dino was on top of that, held close to his body with one arm. "Yeah," she said. "I suppose you're right."

She decided not to mention that she hadn't been referring to the validity of the statement - she'd just been surprised that it came from Jack. Whether he thought about that sort of thing or not, she had no way of knowing previously. He'd briefly mentioned the Bible a couple of times before, once with just her and once with Teal'c, but like most potentially serious conversations, he'd mostly made jokes.

Then there was that really awkward moment once when he'd tried to lighten up the mood Martouf had caused by dropping in with the news 'Your dad's in hell' by claiming that he was going to end up there eventually anyway. Other than that… all things spiritual (or metaphysical, or whatever you wanted to call it) were just another item on the list of things he usually didn't talk about with, she assumed, anybody.

Sam knew, of course, like the rest of her team, Cassandra, General Hammond… and probably a lot more people than Jack would be comfortable with, that along with the whole 'Stargate that opens wormholes to other planets' thing, one of Jack's most carefully guarded secrets was his intelligence.

"What?" he demanded, making her jump a little in her seat.

Realizing she'd been staring at him while staring into space, she quickly said, "Nothing," and turned her attention out the window.

They were quiet again for a few more miles, then Jack said, "What about food? We were going to stop for a late lunch, but… I'd kind of rather not wake him up."

Sam glanced in the backseat. "Me too - he had that corndog, we can feed him dinner early if he wants. We could drive thru somewhere."

"As long as you don't report me to your little friend with the needles. Where do you want to go?"

"I don't mind - Subway is pretty healthy…" "Relatively speaking," he finished her sentence with her. She rolled her eyes and pointed to the next exit, where there was a long line of fast food restaurants.

"I hope he doesn't wake up when we stop for the drive thru. Chicken or turkey?"

"Turkey, I guess, with…"

"I know. Lettuce and cheese only, dry as a bone on wheat."

Luckily, Danny didn't wake up when they stopped to get their sandwiches, but just in case, Jack decided to save his chips for later - the loud crunching might wake him.

As he drove with one hand and ate his sandwich with the other, he gradually realized that Sam was laughing at him. She was just doing it silently, but her shoulders were actually shaking with the effort. "What's so funny?" he finally asked after swallowing a rather large mouthful.

"You're doing an impressive Danny impression over there," she laughed.

He looked down at his shirt. Half the contents of his sandwich had fallen out the back end, so that his shirt and lap were sprinkled liberally with lettuce, dressing, and even an errant olive or two. "That's why it's healthy drive thru - half of what you order ends up in your lap."

Sam laughed at the remark and handed him a few napkins.

Jack drove in silence for a while, not turning on the radio since Danny was sleeping. "So, how's the trunk going?" he finally asked.

"It's not… as far as I know. I want to try flipping it, see if there are any invisible triggers."

"Because of the upside-down writing?"

"Yeah. I figure they wouldn't do that unless the box was meant to be flipped. Maybe nobody's tried to open it from the bottom."

"And of course you called the geeks working today and suggested this?"

"Well… I mean, I'll be there tomorrow… I already told them about it being upside down, and I'm sure they have enough to do trying to translate…"

"Uh-huh, that's what I thought." He'd been thinking about the fact that this might be one of the only times they had to actually talk about the situation they were in. And, no matter how awkward it got, in all likelihood Sam wouldn't throw herself from the moving vehicle to avoid the subject they almost always avoided. Even with that security, he still felt the need to be vague. "Sam?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you like Danny like this?"

"Sure," Sam said easily. "It would be impossible not to, he's absolutely adorable. I still want our good old Daniel back though."

"Oh me too. I just meant, um… he really likes you, you know."

"I guess."

"I mean, you're really, really good with him. You don't seem to get that yet." She shrugged. He took a deep breath. This wasn't easy to say, for about a million reasons. "You could do this, you know."

"What are you talking about?"

"I mean… if you ever wanted to have kids… the rest of us would understand, you know? You could probably be off combat duty and just stay on the base… which granted is still dangerous some of the time… but Teal'c and Daniel and I… we wouldn't think of it like you abandoning the team or anything. We'd miss you being on SG-1 like crazy but… we'd be okay."

She looked at her hands for a long time. Finally, she said, "I appreciate that. A lot. But I really don't think I'll be having kids anytime soon."

"You're good at it though."

She raised an eyebrow.

He actually turned a little pink and said quickly, "I didn't mean the 'having' part as in… any of the steps that entails."

"I would hope not," she said dryly.

"It's just… I don't know, I guess it surprises me that it's not something you want… eventually."

"To be honest it's not something I've thought about much before being with Danny. I mean, I suppose when I was younger I had the idea that eventually, maybe, when all the ducks were in a row… but my ducks have… multiplied like bunnies." He raised an eyebrow at her jumbled metaphor. She shrugged. "Give me a break, I'm tired."

"Understood. If you change your mind though, and you want the ducks and bunnies and… whatnot. Just, you know, let us know. Don't feel guilty for wanting more."

"Thank you," she said quietly, smiling down at her hands. "But I think for the time being I'm actually pretty happy with the way things are."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Well that's good."

They lapsed into introspective silence for several moments. When Jack took another deep breath, Sam assumed he'd be changing the topic of conversation completely - they had ended on a pretty good note without having to get too close to anything too personal or USAF regulations-related.

"I guess I see your point. And… if I had ever thought about it before this week, that's probably what I'd guess you'd say. But I don't know, it's just kind of different now, actually seeing you and Danny."

Apparently he wasn't ready to change the topic.

She glanced back at Danny, still sleeping peacefully, and smiled at him. "It's a nice idea, to think someday, maybe. But, I mean, aside from… other issues, we're in the middle of a long-term battle with the Goa'uld. That and having children are both serious commitments, and I wouldn't feel comfortable trying to split my focus between the two anytime soon. I wouldn't do a good enough job at either if I tried to do them both at the same time. And besides, if and when we ever do get rid of the Goa'uld I'll probably be too old to start a family anyway."

Apparently she wasn't finished either. She hadn't expected all that to tumble out, it had just sort of happened. She waited a few moments and asked, "What about you?"

"Me? I'm probably too old _now." _

She laughed. "Oh please. Men can have children decades longer than women… not that… I didn't mean you're _that _old, just… you've got plenty of time. If you wanted to. Did you ever think… it's okay if you don't want to answer, but… did you ever think about having more kids?"

He shrugged. "For a long time, no. But since we started on SG-1 we've run into so many kids, it's hard not to after those kinds of encounters, you know? Especially the lasting ones: Ryac, Cassie, Danny now too. Especially Danny. Let me put it this way. I would never say I definitely never wanted to have kids again. But I highly doubt the opportunity will come around a second time. If it did though… there are a hell of a lot of things I'd do differently."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…"

"I started this conversation, it's okay. I don't talk about that part of my life very much… or at all, really. I don't think about it as much as I used to anymore either. I mean, I think about Charlie every day, but… it's hard to explain. I'm not obsessed with it like I was. With the regret part. It's… I guess it's just normal grief now. I don't know how to say what I mean. I still think about Charlie, but it's more in feelings now, I guess. But anyway, I just… I don't talk about it, but it doesn't bother me if you bring it up - or if it comes up. You don't have to walk on eggshells around the subject, worrying about me blowing up."

"It just seems like I keep accidentally…"

"It's the situation, not you. But I'd rather talk about Charlie with you than anybody, so it's okay."

She couldn't hide the surprise in her voice. "Really?"

"Sure. Who else?"

"Daniel… when he can articulate all his consonants and form compound sentences."

"Nah. He always means well but sometimes he's just _too _sensitive for me. You know - he doesn't know when to stop pushing sometimes. You're good at that."

"Thank you, sir."

"You're _not _good at that, however."

"Habit, s…sorry, Jack."

A few minutes later, Jack pulled into his driveway. He gathered all their stuff - which he realized was actually all _Daniel's _stuff… diaper bag, gift shop bag, balloon, etc. While he gathered up everything, Sam got Danny, who was still fast asleep.

Jack went in front to open all the doors, since her hands were both obviously full, and they took him straight into the guest room. Sam pulled Danny's hat off and passed it to Jack, then put Danny down on top of the covers, leaning far over the bed so he wouldn't be near the edge - although he'd proved he could get onto and off of the bed on his own fairly well. She sat down next to him to take off his shoes, going extra slowly and carefully so he wouldn't wake. She covered him with his dinosaur blanket, took the hand Jack offered her to her feet, and they left the room quietly.

Jack stifled a yawn as they headed into the den. "You know, he's wearing me out too, not just himself," he commented.

"Yeah. You know, if you want to take a nap too I won't tell anybody."

"That's a pretty nice offer, Sam. Are you going to tuck me in too, or does only Danny get the special treatment?"

Rather than having to try to come up with a clever response, she went to the kitchen to get herself a glass of water. Jack followed - the yellow balloon whose string he was still holding following him as well. He started opening drawers - he seemed to have more than one 'junk drawer.'

Sam leaned against the counter with her water and watched, amused, as he rummaged through a nearby drawer. "What are you looking for?" she finally had to ask.

"I thought I had a… a-ha! I knew it was in here somewhere!" He pulled out a little grey fishing weight triumphantly and tied it to the end of the balloon string. When he let go, it sank, of course, so the balloon now bobbed four feet off the ground but wouldn't roam about the house on its own. He watched the balloon for a moment, looking at the dinosaur and the logo of the RMDRC, and squeezed Sam's shoulder lightly - something he actually used to do a lot more when they first started working together, before it had become sort of taboo to touch her at all if he could help it. "That was a great idea, Sam. I think Danny had a great day."

"Thanks." She set her glass in the sink and said, "Well, I'm going to go work for a while."

"Oh. Okay… have fun," he couldn't help but add sarcastically.

He went into the living room and stretched out on the couch - it was Sunday, there was bound to be some sort of game on.

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

Half an hour later, Sam passed through the living room out of curiosity - she had pretty much been expecting Jack to come bug her while she tried to work. She was having little success with the attempted translation, which was of course Daniel's thing, not hers… despite the fact that she had "borrowed" his disk that had most of his alien-language research on it while she'd been waiting for Teal'c to pack his things. The television was tuned to a basketball game that was nearly over. Jack was actually napping.

She sat down on the arm of the sofa at the end where his feet were and studied him thoughtfully. She'd never spent so much off-duty time with him before, and honestly wouldn't have expected it to be as easy as it was. Or as much fun. She decided to leave it at that for the moment, before she started thinking about the more complicated aspects of all of this, and turn her thoughts back to trying to decipher an old alien language with basically no reference point - it was probably the easier of the two anyway.

Remembering the way he'd teased her earlier about tucking him in, she had a sudden flash of evil inspiration, which, if questioned later, she was going to blame on spending too much time with Jack. Hey, she had been the source of much amusement for all of them lately, what with stepping in wet diapers and being vomited on and everything…

She grabbed the blanket that Teal'c was using, unfolded it, and covered him with it, then went to the diaper bag and grabbed Danny's stuffed triceratops. Placing it strategically in his arms, she took a picture of him and went back to work, imagining everyone's reactions later when they had the film developed. She peeked in on Danny, who hadn't moved an inch, and went back to work, absently wondering if Teal'c would be home for dinner.


	23. The Dreaded DropIn

A/N: It's really sad that my favorite part of tonight's SG-1 was the commercial for Stargate Monday, isn't it?(They really pack that little promo full of O'Neill, don't they?)

Note relevant to this chapter: Come on. You knew I had to do it eventually, right?

Ch 23

"Okay, buddy, here we are," Sam heard from the hallway a moment before the two people she had assumed were still sleeping entered the study. She looked up from her laptop - Danny was still in the process of waking up, doing a sleepy walk that was remarkably similar to his adult two-beers walk. Jack was following, looking like he could use a little more sleep as well. "See, there she is?"

"Sam, I sweepy," Danny announced miserably, rubbing his eyes with his fists.

"Then how come you're not still taking a nap?" Sam asked, coming over to them and picking Danny up.

He snuggled into her and scowled at Jack. "Dack takeded my dino-saw."

"_Took_, Mr. I-Speak-27-languages," Jack mumbled. "And I told you, I have no idea how I woke up with that filthy thing. Actually, that's not true. I know exactly how I woke up with it. You smacked me in the face with it. What I don't know is why I had it in the first place." He looked at Sam pointedly. "Any ideas as to how that might have happened, Sam?"

She shrugged and said innocently, "You _did _ask me to tuck you in." She rubbed Danny's back and said, "I didn't know you'd wake up and miss him, Danny. Jack was just borrowing your dinosaur for his own nap, because you weren't using it."

"I was not," Jack mumbled.

"Anyway, we're sorry," Sam told Danny, kissing the top of his head and rocking slightly. He wasn't fully awake yet and was being very cuddly. And he was still sucking his thumb, which was a sure sign that he needed some extra attention.

"Dack sowwy too?"

"Yeah." Jack gave him an apologetic hair ruffle, then said, "Hey, wait, I didn't _do _anything. Sam's the one who took…"

Loud knocking on the front door drew everybody's attention. "That must be Teal'c," Sam said as they all made their way down the hall towards the door.

"I thought I gave him a key," Jack commented as he reached around Sam and opened the door.

It was Teal'c. And he had Jacob Carter with him.

vvvvvvvvvvvvvv

Jacob had come as quickly as he could when he heard what had happened to Daniel, although from what George had told him, it didn't sound like he'd be able to do very much to help. He had understood George's point about Daniel not belonging on the base in his current situation, but had been surprised when Teal'c told him they were all staying at Jack's to take care of him together.

Teal'c's comments about how well Daniel and Sam were getting along in particular had pretty much been ignored by Jacob, who felt that while his daughter had many amazing qualities, taking care of a small child was not, as far as he knew, part of her repertoire. Then again, he couldn't really picture Jack or Teal'c doing such a bang-up job of it either.

He only fully appreciated what Teal'c had been trying to prepare him for when he stood on Jack's doorstep, looking at his daughter holding the toddler-version of Daniel, standing in front of her CO with not quite enough space between them. "Dad!" she said happily, smiling at him. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to help Daniel, if I can," Jacob said, trying to get a better look at the little guy, who looked barely awake but quite comfortable with his cheek smooshed into Sam's shoulder and his thumb in his mouth.

"Great!" Jack said enthusiastically. "Nice of you to stop by, Jake. Come on in." Since both members of the Carter family seemed to have been so taken by surprise that they weren't moving from the awkward clump they made in the doorway, Jack opened the door all the way and stepped aside, nudging Sam into moving out of the way as well with a hand on her elbow. "Teal'c, home just in time for dinner, I see," Jack greeted as Teal'c followed Jacob inside.

Teal'c tilted his head in acknowledgement of the remark and said, "I was securing a ride back here this afternoon when Jacob Carter arrived. I determined it would be best to wait while he was updated on the situation before returning."

"Tea! You back!"

"Greetings, young Daniel," he said, smiling at the little boy, who perked up in Sam's arms as he spotted his largest friend, lifting his head and smiling at Teal'c, but unwilling to be set down just yet. "Did you have an enjoyable excursion?"

Danny looked confused, so Teal'c added, "At the dinosaur center?"

"Yeah, I saw dino-saws! A baby wex and…"

"Here, why don't you show him your new stuff and tell him all about your day," Sam suggested, passing Danny to Teal'c so she could hug her dad hello.

At Danny's direction, Teal'c took him back towards the guest room, where all of his new stuff had ended up. "So, did you find anything when you looked at the trunk, Dad?" Sam asked as they all moved into the den.

"Not a lot. I flipped it over and tried to find an invisible trigger when I heard about you figuring the writing was upside down, but I didn't find anything."

"Oh," Sam said, trying not to look too disappointed. Jack had to stifle a laugh, knowing she'd wanted to do that herself.

"But I talked to George and you don't have to babysit anymore. We can go back to the base now and have a closer look at that trunk."

"Oh," Sam repeated. "That's… that's great, Dad, only…"

"We should eat first," Jack interrupted.

Both Carters turned to look at him. "Well, you're here already, it's almost dinner time, and anything we can scrounge up around here is bound to be better than whatever they're serving in the commissary today, right?"

"Absolutely," Sam agreed, smiling at him and turning to her dad. "And I'm sure you're craving some civilian Earth food."

"I didn't mean to impose on your hospitality, Jack," Jacob said. He still couldn't get the way they'd looked when they'd opened the door out of his head - it was like he was barging in on a quiet family night at home. It made him very uncomfortable.

Jack shrugged. "It's not a problem. We were all planning to eat tonight anyway, I assure you."

Danny ran into the room, scanning it quickly before locating Sam. He stopped in front of her and patted her leg insistently. "Sam I wost my bawoon."

"You did?"

He nodded, leaning into her legs, and pointed at Jack as he spoke accusingly. "I fink Dack did it."

"Hey!" Jack objected. "I did not take your balloon and I did not take your dinosaur either."

"You did."

"Did not."

"Did."

"Not."

"Hey," Sam interrupted. The usual Jack/Daniel banter wasn't really fair on Danny at the moment, although he was still pretty good at holding his own. "Danny, Jack didn't take your balloon. Actually, he fixed it so it wouldn't get lost."

"He did?"

"Yup. While you were taking your nap earlier."

"Where?"

"I bet if you go tell him you're sorry you wrongly accused him of taking it he'll show you where it is," Sam suggested.

Danny glanced over at Jack for a few moments, then made up his mind, running over to Jack and patting his leg instead. "Sowwy Dack. Where my bawoon?"

"I popped it," Jack stated.

Sam rolled her eyes. "Jack."

"Okay, okay, I didn't pop it. It's in the kitchen, come on." He pointed Danny towards the kitchen and left with him.

Sam watched Danny run off into the kitchen ahead of Jack and turned back to her dad. "He's cute isn't he?"

"Adorable," Jacob replied. "So… it's Sam and Jack now?"

Sam took a moment to figure out what he meant and said, "Oh, yeah. Well, it was too confusing to Danny - all the sirs, Majors, Colonels, Carters… he's smart but he's still only two and a half."

"Oh. Right. Listen, it looks like Jack and Teal'c can handle Daniel on their own. Don't you think we should get back to the base and get to work?"

"Sure, Dad. After dinner though - why, what's the matter?"

"Nothing," Jacob said quickly. He was starting to realize that Jack and Sam truly had no idea how different they seemed to him now. He supposed it must have been a gradual, more natural shift for all of them as they cared for Danny together, but for him, coming in at this point as an outsider, the change was drastic and remarkable.

And the truly disquieting thing was that, while he'd always known there was _something _between his daughter and her CO that shouldn't have been there, they'd always been very obviously aware of it and just as careful of avoiding it as anybody could hope for… like they were more terrified of going anywhere near the thing than anybody else was…

He'd been worried about it after meeting Jack for the first time, but after talking to George and then seeing Jack in action during the whole "hey Dad, want to become a Tok'ra" thing, he'd pretty much accepted George's assessment of the situation and decided if they were ever going to give them something to really worry about, it would have happened a long time ago.

Danny ran back through the room with his balloon, yelling, "Tea! I got it!"

Sam laughed at the little blur of a toddler and said, "Come on, Dad. Do you want something to drink?"

"Uh, no, I'm okay." He followed her into the kitchen, standing by the counter and watching carefully (while trying to look like he wasn't paying them any attention) as Sam reached around Jack into the open refrigerator for a diet soda.

"We're running low on supplies," Jack commented as he studied the contents of his fridge.

"Yeah," Sam agreed.

"I don't really feel like going to the store tonight. How does Chinese sound?"

"Sounds good to me, but we can't give Danny his usual spicy stuff."

"Oh yeah. Well, he can have fried rice and… sweet and sour chicken - you know, without the sauce?"

"Good idea, that'll be just like chicken fingers."

"That's what I'm thinking." Jack shut the fridge and went over to his drawer of delivery menus, rummaging around for the Chinese one. He glanced at Jacob, noticing the man was just sort of standing in the middle of the room. "Have a seat, Jacob, make yourself at home."

Danny ran into the room in just a tee-shirt and diaper, giggling as he amused himself by escaping the large Jaffa chasing him. Teal'c followed, carrying Danny's shorts. "Everybody else has," Jack added lightly as Teal'c captured Danny and carried him off to finish the diaper-changing procedure.

"Clearly," Jacob muttered under his breath.

"I better make some more tea for T," Jack commented as he handed the paper menu to Jacob. "You like Chinese, right?"

"Yeah."

Teal'c joined them in the kitchen again, with a sobbing Danny. "What happened?" Jack and Sam demanded at the same time as Teal'c handed Danny to Sam.

"He inadvertently popped his balloon from the dinosaur center. The noise startled him."

"Poor guy," Sam said quietly, rubbing his back. "Did it scare you?"

He nodded into her shoulder and wailed, "I wannit back!"

"Oh… well Danny, once a balloon pops you can't fill it back up," she tried to explain. "I'm sorry, sweetie, it's gone."

"Noo Sam noooooo…" he sobbed into her shirt.

Noticing that her dad looked like he was getting a headache - which she wasn't actually sure was still possible now that he was with Selmak, but that was irrelevant at the moment… she took Danny out of the kitchen to continue comforting him.

Jack resumed his iced tea making task and said, "Jake, do you want a beer or something?"

"No that's okay."

"Crap diet soda? Water? Juice?"

"I'll just have tea with dinner. Thanks."

Sam returned with a still sad-looking little boy in her arms, but he was no longer crying. She wet a towel in the sink and wiped his face off. "There, that's better, isn't it?" He gave a brave sounding sniffle and nodded.

"Hey, I bet they'll have balloons at the grocery store tomorrow, Danny," Jack offered, ruffling his hair as he passed them.

"Dack?" he asked in a small voice.

"Yeah?"

"Fwy me?"

"Huh?"

"Fwy me! Pwease?"

Jack realized what Danny was saying, but decided to try and cheer him up a bit more first. "Huh? _Fwy _you?" He poked Danny's tummy before Sam handed him over.

"Yeah, fwy me!"

"Fry you? All right, Sam, get out the frying pan, Teal'c, get the butter!"

"No!" Danny objected, laughing. "FWY me!"

"Oh, _fly _you! That makes more sense. All right, hold on." He flipped Danny into the obligatory Superman/airplane flying position and flew him out of the room, Danny already giggling again.

"He is very easily distracted at his current age," Teal'c observed.

"Yeah. Oh, speaking of distracted, I'd better order the food." She picked up the cordless phone and turned to her dad. "Dad, what do you feel like?"

Jacob almost answered, 'Like I've entered the Twilight Zone,' but he resisted. Instead, he said, "Beef with broccoli."

"With hot and sour soup?" Sam asked as she dialed.

"Yeah." He then watched his daughter place the largest order of Chinese food he'd ever heard of in his life.

She hung up the phone as Jack came back in the kitchen, alone. "He wants you now, he's trying to open that new puzzle. Did you order the food?"

"Yeah. Fifteen minutes," she said with a smirk. They both laughed. Jacob looked confused. "This place always says fifteen minutes," Sam explained to her dad. "And it's always at least forty-five."

"Hilarious," Jacob said as Sam left to go help Danny with his puzzle.

Teal'c looked at the clock, promptly excused himself, and left the kitchen. "Does he have a date or something?" Jacob joked.

Jack laughed. "Yeah… his ass, my chair, and the TV. It's time for 'Bewitched.'"

"Bewitched?" Jacob asked incredulously. "You're joking."

"He loves it," Jack said with a shrug. "And I've learned not to try to come between Teal'c and his Nick-at-Nite."

Jacob nodded, and they lapsed into silence again. Jack tried to think of something to entertain his unexpected guest and said, "So… you've never been here before, have you?"

"No. I usually don't leave the base anymore, unless I'm going to visit Mark."

"How's he doing?"

"Good. Real good."

"Good."

"Yeah."

"So… want the fifty cent tour?"

"Um, sure."

"All right, well, you've seen the kitchen…" They headed back into the den, Jack making an over-large gesture to showcase Teal'c, who was sitting in the biggest chair with his attention on the television. "And you've passed through the den already, which as you can see comes complete with a former first prime of Apophis…" Jack stopped his imitation of Tour Guide Ted to look down at Sam and Danny, who were sitting across from each other on the floor in front of the coffee table, the small amount of floor space between them littered with puzzle pieces.

Sam was trying to explain to Danny that it might be a good idea to turn all of the pieces upright first before they began trying to piece them together. Danny was uninterested. He also didn't seem very impressed with her suggestion that they start with edge pieces, or separate pieces they'd already tried from new ones. Apparently Daniel Jackson had not embraced the scientific method before the age of three.

Tour temporarily forgotten, Jack laughed quietly as Danny suddenly 'fit' two pieces together by mashing them with his little fist until they were stuck. "That won't work, sweetie," Sam explained quietly, obviously trying not to interrupt Teal'c's television show. "See how the leaves are different here and the pieces don't fit?"

"Dey fit now," Danny pointed out logically.

"Well… they sort of look like they fit, yes, but they don't really. And if you make these two fit, the rest of the puzzle won't work either, see, because these two are meant to go with other pieces…"

"Oh." Danny tried to twist the mismatched pieces apart, bending them both in the process but not dislodging them. "Here, Sam. Fix." He leaned over the puzzle and passed the crumpled pieces to her.

Jack had grown used to seeing Sam's blonde head and Daniel's slightly darker one huddled over various blueprints, texts, and schematics over the years - the two of them were often the personification of two heads being better than one. Now Jack couldn't help but find it funny, watching them devote the same amount of attention to a brightly colored dinosaur puzzle as they usually reserved for saving the world.

While Sam tried to separate the pieces and bend them back into place, Jack realized he'd stopped his own tour and figured it was time to continue. "And here on the floor are the two smartest people on the planet… who, at the moment, are doing a child's puzzle… of no doubt great cosmic importance."

Sam looked up from the floor where she and Danny were working, smiled at them both, and shrugged cheerfully. "Hey, I'm doing it upside down."

"Carry on then, Major. Now if you'll walk this way, sir…" Jack turned back to Jacob and started walking backwards, with added dramatic hand gestures. "And we're walking, we're walking…"

"Actually, Sam, maybe you could show me what you've been working on, so I can compare it to what the guys at the base have on the trunk?" Jacob suggested.

"Sure, it's all right there on my computer," she said absently, her attention already back on Danny. "Will you show him, Jack?"

"Sure, I'll make it the next stop. Come on, Jake." He showed him down the hall, indicating what the various rooms they passed were, and led him into the study.

"There's the computer…" He opened it up and turned it on, rummaging through the various hand-written notes lying around until he found the disk he was fairly certain Sam had illegally brought home. "This is Daniel's… I guess alien-language dictionary. Sort of. Anyway, it's got most of his notes on it." He handed it to Jacob and picked up another disk. "This one's the stuff from Daniel's that Sam thinks might be relevant to the trunk." He typed in the password on the computer and then showed him where the folder was she'd been saving everything under. "Uh, that's about all I know, apparently the rest of its supposed to be self-explanatory."

"Thanks," Jacob said, not quite sure what to make of any of this. The only thing he knew for certain was that he found this whole situation… unsettling.

"Sure. Shout if you need anything." Jack clapped him on the shoulder and left him to his work, since he seemed so eager to get started.

vvvvvvvvvvvvvv


	24. Dinner and a Show

Ch 24

Danny was having a blast. He had got tired of the puzzle and was now throwing all the various Nerf balls he had at Jack, Teal'c, and Sam. It had started as a nice game of catch but quickly degenerated into an all-out dodge ball war with Danny at the center and his three adult teammates running around the den trying to peg each other with the soft balls.

Nobody was throwing them at Danny hard, but the harder they threw them at each other, the harder Danny laughed. He especially liked it when they 'died' dramatically after being hit - Jack had started it by crashing to the couch, begging Danny to get revenge on Teal'c, and it had just got crazier from then on.

Danny wasn't the only one shrieking and laughing. Sam and Jack were so involved in the game - and trying to make sure Danny didn't get hurt while they all ran around - that they didn't notice when the loud noise attracted Jacob, who emerged from the study to see what all the commotion was about. Teal'c, of course, noticed Jacob hovering between the foyer and the den, but chose not to alert the rest of his team to their audience.

"Sam! Help me!" Danny called, crawling under the coffee table to get away from Jack, who was chasing him and pretending like he was about to bean him with the football. He scrambled to his feet and ducked behind her, using her as a shield.

She was so busy keeping him out of Jack's reach that neither of them noticed Teal'c sneaking up on them from behind, until Danny shrieked as Teal'c snatched him up and tossed him in the air, calling, "I have him O'Neill!"

"Good, hang onto him."

"Saaam!"

"Hey, give him back!" Sam demanded, grabbing his little feet loosely. She and Teal'c pretended like they were going to play tug of war with Danny as the rope for a moment before she let go of him and said, "Sorry, Danny, he's too strong."

"Noooooo!"

Teal'c tucked Danny under one arm like a football, O'Neill calling for him to, "Run a post-pattern left pass the defense…" which Teal'c took to mean dodge Sam and pass the Danny-football off to Jack, who took him over to the couch and called, "Touch down! Time to spike the ball!"

"No Dack! No spiking!" Danny giggled as Jack dropped him on the couch. He hit the cushions with a little bounce and sat back up, grinning. "Saaaaaam, save me!"

"I'm trying!" Sam called, laughing and trying to get around Jack, who was blocking her attempts to reach the couch. "Teal'c, come on, you should be on my team," Sam tried.

"Don't listen to her, Teal'c. Grab the boy and run!"

Teal'c appeared to consider his options for a moment and said, "I am sorry, O'Neill," before pegging him, hard, with the ball.

"You traitor," Jack said. "Watch out, Danny, I've been hit!" Jack 'died' again, face down on the couch. Danny laughed and jumped on top of him, half tackling, half hugging him. Jack pretended to be trying to grab him from behind, tickling him thoroughly in the process.

"Sam! Tea! Help!"

Sam and Teal'c both tried to help at the same time, Sam tripping over the football in the process. Teal'c reached out to steady her but she grabbed his arm too late and brought them all down in a heap on the couch. "Danny, are you okay?" Sam asked immediately, worrying they'd squashed the boy. Luckily he'd been able to get to his feet and out of the way before hand, standing on Jack's shoulder and leaning against the couch cushions, so he was the only one not a part of the tangled dogpile.

"Teal'c?" Sam coughed. "Could you get your knee out of my spine?"

"I am sorry, Major Carter," Teal'c apologized, getting off of her and pulling her up to a sitting position at the same time, although she was still sitting on Jack's legs.

She squirmed off of him, tucking her knees up to her chin and turning to make sure he was okay, as he'd had all three of them land on top of him and all she'd heard from him was a muffled, "Oomph!"

Danny was patting him on the head, and the formerly loud room was suddenly silent. After a few moments of total stillness, Danny broke the silence. "Dack are you still dead?"

Jack started laughing, although you couldn't hear it since his face was smushed into a throw pillow, but it made his shoulders shake, which Danny loved, because he was still standing on one of them.

Jacob started laughing too though, causing everyone on the couch to look over at him in surprise.

"Dad!" Sam scrambled off the couch and tried to tuck her hair back into place, glad that her dad had rejoined the group. Danny reached out for her, his balance wobbly as he stood on Jack's back. Sam picked him up as Teal'c gave Jack a hand up. "Sorry, did the noise bother you?"

"No, I guess I just missed the part of the tour where your den doubles as a war zone, Jack."

"And a football field," Jack added, glad to see Jacob appeared to be back in his usual good humor.

Jacob watched as they all tried to smooth hair and clothes back into place. While he still hadn't completely lost the whole 'Twilight Zone' feeling, it was impossible not to be entertained by the toddler-sized Danny and the way Jack kept him entertained. And he had to admit, he couldn't remember the last time he'd seen his daughter smiling and laughing so much.

Danny, who hadn't been very interested in Jacob up until now, since he'd been barely awake when he arrived, and then been otherwise occupied, was looking at him curiously. He turned back to Sam, who was still holding him, cupped his hands around his mouth against her ear, and whispered, "Who's dat man?"

Sam laughed. "That's my dad, Danny."

"Sam's Daddy?" he asked, looking at Jacob now as though he could turn out to be interesting after all. Jacob sat down on a chair across from them, aware that the little boy was sizing him up.

"Yeah. His name is Jacob."

"Day-cup?"

Jack laughed as the doorbell rang. "Close enough." Jacob gave him a look as Jack headed to the door for the food. "Hey, it's better than what he calls Janet, right? What's the doc's real name, Danny boy?"

"DammitDannit?" Danny asked, looking around for the doctor when he heard her name.

"Calm down, she's not here," Sam said with a sigh. "Come on, Danny, let's go wash our hands for dinner."

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

While Daniel as an adult was just about the least picky eater Jack had ever known - Jack had seen him dive right into alien goop that even Teal'c thought twice about - Danny the toddler was leery of trying anything new. So the brilliant Chinese food plan wasn't working out too well. So far he was eating lots of baby corn and avoiding everything else.

"Danny, come on, try the rice. You'll like it," Sam tried.

"No. Dere's peas in it," he stated, picking up another baby corn and holding it to his nose. "Wook Dack! I'm a snowman!"

Jack chuckled. "Funny. What's wrong with your chicken?"

Sam tried to get him to eat a bite of chicken, and finally got it in his mouth. He chewed it for a moment and then spit it out in her hand. "Daniel…"

"Yucky, I need catsup!"

"On Chinese food? Talk about yucky," Sam grumbled, wiping off her hand. "I'll get you catsup if you eat a bite of rice first," she bargained.

Danny nodded and picked all the peas out of the spoonful of rice resting on his plate, then transferred it to his mouth quickly, spilling at least half of it in the process. "Hey I wike dat," he declared after swallowing.

"See? I told you."

So the minor drama of feeding the toddler under their care was resolved for the time being, as Jack fetched the catsup and squeezed some onto Danny's plate between his cut-up chicken and fried rice with a disgusted grimace.

As soon as Danny was eating without complaint, everyone else tucked in as well. "I guess between feeding him and changing his diapers, you guys have all gotten used to dealing with messes," Jacob remarked. He'd been surprised at how Sam had reacted - or not really reacted at all, to having Danny spit out chewed up chicken in her hand. Last time he'd visited his grandchildren with her, she'd accidentally dropped the F-bomb when her niece got a lollipop stuck in Sam's hair. Mark hadn't been too happy about that, although the kids had thought it was "awesome."

"Oh, ABC chicken is a joy compared to what we've been exposed to lately," Jack said.

"Definitely," Sam agreed, smiling as Danny started singing the alphabet song.

"Oops. I set him off." Jack waited for Danny to finish and said, "Good job. Eat your rice."

"Well, Teal'c, you seem to have got the worst job, changing the diapers."

"On the contrary, Jacob Carter. We have all shared that responsibility, and I believe Major Carter has been in the most unpleasant predicaments."

"Hey, he peed directly on me," Jack argued, pointing at Danny with his fork.

Sam leaned back in her chair and crossed her arms. "Two words, Colonel. Vomit. And hose."

"Yeah, all right, good point," he conceded, laughing as he remembered the look on her face.

Jacob was now seriously considering the possibility that he'd somehow found an alternate reality where his daughter thought having a toddler throw up on her was funny. This was all just too weird. And just when he thought it couldn't get any weirder… Danny refused to eat his broccoli and the whole ridiculous tableau took on a whole new level that left Jacob simmering in his seat and telling Selmak to shut up.

"Come on," Sam objected, getting frustrated. "You ate junk for lunch, you need some vegetables."

"I don-like bwock-li."

"Just try it, please. I was right about the rice, wasn't I? Okay, here." She stabbed a piece of broccoli with the fork and waved it in a circle. "Come on, open up." She flew the fork like an airplane, but when it reached "the hanger," the hanger stayed firmly shut.

"Make da noise," Danny requested.

Sam sighed and did her best airplane noises… although even she had to admit that a plane making that sort of noise most definitely wouldn't be able to get off the ground.

Danny looked surprised and entertained by the funny spluttering noise she tried to make but he was keeping his lips firmly shut. She set the fork down and let out a frustrated, "Jack."

"Hop up." They switched seats so Jack could reach Danny. He picked the fork back up and, using the time-honored airplane method, started getting the broccoli into the little boy. Sam swapped their plates and kept eating, or rather started eating, since her own food had been getting cold when making sure Danny ate was her job. "So, you can build one, fix one, and fly one but you can't pull off a decent airplane noise to save your life, huh. Or to feed the boy."

"Nope," she said cheerfully, unearthing another baby carrot in her rice and setting it aside for Danny.

Jacob watched all of this as he'd watched everything else that had passed between his daughter, her CO, and the temporary toddler temporarily in their care. He wasn't even entirely sure what was making him so mad, which he tried to convey to Selmak, who was being the incredibly annoying internal voice of reason demanding to know what was so 'wrong' with this previously undiscovered part of his daughter's personality. Jacob was starting to think that was it, in and of itself.

Sam, Jacob knew, often claimed that he'd called her Sam because he wanted a boy. Which was silly for a number of reasons, most obviously because he'd already had a son. Yet early on he'd had to rearrange his previously held assumptions about gender. His daughter had been the only one remotely interested in joining the Air Force, and his son had been married halfway through college and had always wanted to be a teacher and have a family. But while his children's personalities had been a surprise at first, he had thought he had it down years ago: Sam was just like him, and Mark was just like their mom had been.

Of course it wasn't quite that simple, but it had never occurred to him that his workaholic, super-smart daughter would ever consider bothering to make time for a family, or ever be so comfortable, so fast, in such a domestically normal situation as he'd stumbled upon this evening. And he couldn't seem to get past the little fact that all this had happened with Jack O'Neill. But at this point in her life, she'd already made serious commitments to a job that needed her. Maybe it was harsh to imply that she was too important to the SGC to be allowed to have a normal life of her own, but she had always seemed okay with that. Now, though, that it was so obvious how easily she could have 'normal,' he was worried. And there was the whole Jack issue mixed in on top of everything else. It just merged two potentially serious problems for Sam, her career, and the future of the Stargate program into one very big problem, in Jacob's opinion.

"Dad?"

"What… sorry, what?"

"Is your food okay?" Sam asked, looking concerned.

"Yeah, it's great."

"Oh, gross," Jack exclaimed suddenly, drawing everyone's attention back to him. He was holding a fork in both hands and it wasn't hard to tell what had happened, judging by the look on his face. He'd accidentally mixed up his Danny-fork with his own and ended up with a mouthful of catsup-covered Chinese food.

Danny laughed so hard at the face Jack made that he spit fried rice everywhere.

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

After dinner, Jacob was ready to get back to the base to start working on getting Danny - and hopefully the rest of SG-1 by extension - back to normal. As fast as humanly… or Tok'ra-ly… possible. "Sam, it would probably be easiest if you just stayed at the base tonight since you're back on duty tomorrow morning anyway and we'll probably be working late," he pointed out as Sam wiped catsup off Danny while Jack held him still.

"Uh, sure, Dad, I guess that makes sense."

"Sam, you weaving?"

"Yeah, I've got to go back to the base for a little while, but I'll see you later, okay?"

Looking extremely worried, Danny looked up at Jack for sympathy. "We'll have fun here, Danny," Jack promised, hugging him. "And you'll see her tomorrow morning."

"Actually, O'Neill, General Hammond requested you remain here with young Danny until noon," Teal'c said.

"Oh."

"He would like you to bring him to the base for lunch so that all three of us may work while he takes his nap. When he awakens, we are to remain on the base while Major Carter brings him back here for the remainder of the day."

"Oh," Sam echoed. She'd not been separated from Danny for that long, and looked only slightly less disappointed at the schedule that had been made for her than Danny did. Then again if the General had ordered it, there wasn't really anything she could do about it. "Okay, then, I guess it's settled. I'll go get my stuff together."

"We'll help," Jack said quickly, following her with Danny in one arm.

As soon as they were away from her dad and in the study, Jack said, "Look, I know the whole overworking thing runs in the Carter gene pool, but does Dad seem a little…"

"Crazy?" Sam supplied as she started gathering her notes and things.

"Well, I was going to try to think of a more diplomatic word, but yes."

"Yeah. I don't know, maybe he's just frustrated because he doesn't know if he'll really be much help this time… I know I am."

"Yeah but you're not going nuts about it this time." She froze and looked at him. "I mean… not that you usually…"

She sighed. "No, you're right. Look, this time I happen to agree with you. And General Hammond. For whatever reason, I seem to be helping the most by being with Danny on this one. That's fine. It's certainly a lot easier than trying to do his job for him. But I do still have to try. And go with my dad."

"I know."

She shoved several loose papers into her bag with her laptop and slung it over her shoulder, heading for the door but stopping in front of them. Danny was being very still and quiet, resting his head on Jack's shoulder and watching her pack with very unhappy eyes. Her hand went to the back of his head automatically and she sighed. "Well, I guess I was right about one thing."

"Here, trade. What were you right about?" Jack asked, handing Danny to her and taking the bag off her shoulder instead.

"In the truck. Trying to keep up with both at the same time really sucks."

"Yeah. It does." He felt like it was a pretty dumb thing to say, but he couldn't really think of anything to do other than agree. She was completely right, as usual.

Danny was hugging her tightly, still not moving or saying anything. She rubbed his back and laughed once. "This is so ridiculous, it's almost his bedtime anyway," she muttered to herself. She shifted him to a slightly more comfortable position and looked at Jack.

"We'll take good care of him," he said quickly.

"I know. You're better at this than I am."

"Nope. Not really. I just started off with more field training."

She smiled and they were interrupted by Jacob.

"You ready, Sam? Need help with anything?"

"No thanks. Coming, Dad."

They all followed Jacob to the door, where Teal'c was already waiting. When Sam handed Danny back to Jack, he resisted just for a moment. She was surprised at how powerfully the little arms clinging around her neck tugged at her heartstrings.

"Bye bye Sam, I wuv you," Danny said, leaning back into her as he was traded back to Jack and kissing her the first place he could reach - half on her mouth, half on her chin. "Wike dat, wight Dack?" he asked, clearly proud of himself for remembering to make the fish-face and keep the slobber to a minimum this time.

Sam, who wasn't facing her dad, missed the look on his face, although Jack guessed she must have had a basic idea of how displeased he looked at the moment from the way she cringed.

Jack mumbled an affirmative he hoped only Danny could hear - the snake didn't give Jacob extra hearing powers, did it? - as Sam tried to hug Danny yet again, which didn't work so well since Jack was holding him in one arm and using the other to drape the shoulder strap of her laptop case back over her. She kissed the back of Danny's head instead, which was easier to reach. "I love you too, Danny, be good, okay? I'll see you tomorrow."

She smiled at Jack, then at Teal'c. "Watch out for worms, will you?"

He smiled serenely and bowed slightly. "You have my word."

As she and her dad were getting into her car, Jack heard Jacob ask, "Worms? Dare I even ask?"

He rubbed Danny's back in comforting circles as they all went back inside and said in a cheerful voice, "All right, buddy, what do you want to do now? You're looking pretty pitiful at the moment so I suggest you take full advantage of the situation and get us to let you get away with something big. You want more dessert?"

"No," Danny said.

"All right. You want to ride your tricycle in the house?"

"No."

"Want to throw Nerf balls at us?"

"No."

"Do your puzzles?"

"No."

"Perhaps you should ask him what he _does _wish to do," Teal'c suggested, sensing this could be a very lengthy interrogation.

"All right, good idea, T. Danny, what do you want to do?"

Danny thought for a minute and asked hopefully, "Piggy movie?"

Jack groaned. "Again?"

"Pease?"

He sighed, resigned to his fate. "I had to ask."


	25. Back at the Base Again

Ch 25

Jack was glad when they only made it halfway through the repeat viewing of Babe before it failed to provide an adequate distraction for Danny. Then ten minutes later when Danny had turned down all of his suggestions for what they could do instead, he was begging to bring that talking pig back. The normally cheerful Danny was getting tired, and he was whiny and fussy but didn't want to go to sleep. His routine had been disrupted, and he knew who was to blame.

"I donlike Sam's Daddy," he said firmly, crossing his arms and scowling. "He takeded her away."

Jack sighed. "Ah, don't say that, buddy. He's all right, and he is really trying to help you. Hey, I have an idea. Why don't you make a picture for Sam and you can give it to her tomorrow."

"Okay," he agreed eagerly.

Jack looked at Teal'c victoriously. "We have a winner!"

"Indeed."

vvvvvvvvvvvvvv

Sam let out a frustrated sigh and wiped her tired eyes, looking up from the computer screen. Her dad, who was working at his own monitor across the workbench, looked up at her. "Dad, this is so frustrating, I'm getting nowhere."

"Keep trying, Sam, you know more about Daniel's research than anybody."

"This isn't my area of expertise."

"You made just as much progress on your own as the linguists have done here."

"Big deal, splitting the symbols into vowels and consonants…"

The phone in her lab rang. She picked it up, glancing at the clock. It was after ten. "Carter… of course, put him through… what's wrong?… oh. No, I've never given him coffee… are you sure he's saying coffee?… yeah, I can hear him crying…"

While Jack fumbled on the other end of the phone for a minute, Sam explained to her dad, "Danny's crying and apparently asking for coffee. He's tried to get ours before but not really made a big deal when we said no…"

"Sam?" Jack asked through the phone.

"Yeah, is he okay?"

"Physically yes, but I think he's trying to stay awake until you come back. That's probably why he wants the coffee…"

She laughed. "I don't think he's thinking _that _strategically… why is he asking for coffee out of nowhere?"

"I don't know but he's whining for you and 'toppy' over and over…"

"Toppy?"

"Yeah, sounds like coffee to me, and I was drinking it myself when he first started."

"Maybe… I don't know…" Sam thought for a minute and said, "Does he have his dinosaur?"

"I haven't seen it in a while."

"I've been telling him he should name it for days, maybe he did."

"You think?"

"I don't know, it's a triceratops, so Toppy's as good a name for it as anything, I suppose."

"Huh. Good idea. Hey, Danny? Is 'Toppy' your dinosaur?" After a brief muffled conversation on the other end of the phone between what sounded like all three of her teammates, Jack came back on the phone. "Got it, Teal'c found it under the couch. Thanks."

"Sure."

"Okay, he's happy for the time being so I'm gonna try to get him to sleep."

"Good luck."

"You too."

Sam hung up the phone and got back to work, laughing to herself that Danny had finally named his favorite toy, and that Jack had assumed that even as a toddler, Daniel's solution to any situation would be coffee.

"Sam?" her dad prompted.

"Sorry, I just… need some coffee."

vvvvvvvvvvvvv

It felt like she'd been working forever when the phone rang again. She reached for it quickly, ignoring the look from her dad that said he was not finding these disruptions amusing in the least. "Carter… yeah…" She waited for her CO to be patched through again.

"Hey, Carter."

"Hi…"

"Have you by any chance learned anything new about that damn trunk?"

"No sir, not really… why?"

"I have a new theory. It's distorting time in my house like the black hole. I think - and Teal'c agrees - that we've been trying to get Danny to go to sleep for about two weeks now."

She laughed. "Well, sir, that's an interesting theory, but if that were true, you wouldn't realize it - it would only appear to be slower from an outside perspective because remember, time…"

"Is relative," Jack finished with a heavy sigh. "Yeah, yeah, I know. All right. Well, could you at least tell me how you've been brushing his teeth all this time, because when I tried it he clamped down on the toothbrush and now he won't let go."

"Oh. Sure. Um…" she lowered her voice and retreated as far away from her dad as the phone cord would allow and said, "Don't laugh, okay?"

"I won't, just tell me what to do to get the toothbrush out of his mouth before he hurts himself."

"Make the faces with him and he'll copy you."

"That's it? That's easy."

"Um, well, also there's… a song," she admitted.

From the lengthy pause that followed, she guessed he was trying very hard not to laugh. Finally, he asked in a way-too-casual voice, "A song?"

"Yeah… well I had the same problem the first time I tried to brush his teeth and, I don't know it just sort of… happened."

"You want me to sing to Daniel."

"Well, I don't think Teal'c is going to do it," she couldn't help but comment.

"All right. What's the song?"

"Well, I'm sure it's different now because it's not exactly politically correct, but when I was little it was…"

"Carter."

"You remember the one that goes, 'One little, two little, three little Indians…'"

Jack did know the tune she was referring to, but if he was going to do this he wasn't going to let her off that easy. "Uh, vaguely, I'm not sure…"

"Just change it to teeth instead."

"Teeth? That doesn't even fit."

"Baby teeth," Sam admitted.

"O…kay. Baby teeth it is. So how does this little ditty go, exactly?"

Feeling much more ridiculous than she had done when the only person who knew about this was Danny, she lowered her voice even further on the off chance her dad wouldn't be able to overhear and chanted, "One little, two little, three little baby teeth, four little, five little, six little baby teeth… get the idea now, Jack?" He was laughing, a muffled sort of snort/laugh, but still. "You're laughing."

"I'm sorry, I couldn't help it," he apologized, still laughing.

"Whatever," she muttered as she hung up the phone, then absently wondered if she'd ever said that to her CO before. Probably not. Well, then, he had it coming.

vvvvvvvvvvvvvv


	26. Going Home

A/N: Yeah, you knew it had to happen.

Ch 26

The next time the phone rang, Jacob reached for it, but Sam was quicker. She was starting to feel like a child herself - her father seemed to have grounded her to her lab, only she had no idea what she had done to merit such punishment. "Patch him through," she said into the phone, making an educated guess as to who might be calling. Again.

"Okay, so the toothbrush thing worked, and remember when Teal'c told that joke? Well, he laughed even harder tonight when he came into the bathroom to see what all the noise was about, and let's just leave it at that. But Danny's still awake."

"It's almost midnight!"

"I know. He's exhausted, but I think he's trying to wait up for you and I'm out of ideas. He cried when I turned off the light and said he's afraid of the dark. We've tried your bed, we've tried moving him to mine, we've tried putting him on the couch with Teal'c. We've tried every combination we could think of of people and places to sleep. I swear if we had some porridge we'd be our own damn fairy tale. At first he found it amusing but now he's just sort of whining constantly and crying when he gets up the energy…"

Sam glanced back at her dad and said firmly, "I'm not helping here anyway, I'll be there as soon as I can."

"Thank you, thank you, thank you. You will never have to change another diaper again, I swear."

She hung up the phone and said, "Yeah right," but smiled nonetheless. She turned to her dad again, who was looking most unhappy.

"Sam, we've got a lot of work to do here."

"I know that. But Hammond hasn't ordered me officially back here until tomorrow morning… which is in just a few hours, and we're getting nowhere. Look, Dad, I'm not doing anything useful here. I'm _not _Daniel - I can read his notebooks and stare at these symbols all day and still have no clue what I'm doing. I'm exhausted. I need to sleep, and so do Daniel and Colonel O'Neill and Teal'c. Right now, at this point, I'm most useful at ho… helping Danny. At helping take care of Danny. I'm sorry, but this is what General Hammond ordered me to do in the first place, so… I'll see you in the morning, Dad." She gave him an apologetic but confused smile and left, leaving one very upset Tok'ra/General/father behind.

vvvvvvvvvvvvvv

As Sam reached for the doorknob, Jack's front door was pulled open quickly just as her fingertips grazed it. She jumped. A large hand circled her wrist and yanked her inside, and she was lifted a foot off the floor in a bone-crushing hug.

"Easy there, big guy, she's breakable and we haven't got a spare," Jack called as he too hurried to the front hall carrying Danny.

Teal'c loosened his grip on Sam slightly, but he didn't set her on her feet or let her go. "Major Carter, the crying has been most distressing," Teal'c stated.

"I know, Teal'c, I'm…"

"You _must_ make him stop," Teal'c interrupted, sounding as close to panicked as Teal'c ever sounded. He set her back on her feet and released her, grabbing her shoulders instead as he pleaded with her. "_Please_, Major Carter. This is unendurable."

"Okay, Teal'c. Calm down." Sam couldn't hide her amusement at the fact that the largest, toughest man she knew - who had endured all sorts of horrible tortures - had been completely undone (by Teal'c's standards) by a fussy toddler. "I'll see what I can do." She patted his arms comfortingly until he released her shoulders and said, "Breathe."

She turned to Jack and Danny, who both looked like they had terrible hangovers, they looked so tired. "Hey, Danny," she said, giving them both a sympathetic smile. "Hi."

"Hi. Thanks for coming back."

"I'm tired too, and Dad seems to be wanting to pull an all-nighter. Let's just all try to get some sleep." She took Danny from him - he felt heavier than usual because he was so tired. He cuddled into her and mumbled a sleepy greeting. "Come on Danny, let's go."

She trudged down the hallway. Jack followed hesitatingly. "Uh, about that… there was kind of an incident when Teal'c and I both tried to sleep in your room with him and he jumped on me while I was drinking water lying down... Danny jumped, not Teal'c…"

She stopped in the doorway, staring at the stripped bed. "The sheets are in the dryer," he offered. "But we can just swap for the night if you want so you don't have to wait. Or we can try moving him after he falls asleep, but I don't know what that'll do to him if he wakes up again…"

"No, that's okay," Sam said. This shouldn't be weird… sure she didn't know many USAF officers who slept in their CO's beds, but it wasn't like he was going to be in there with them… "Just… take him for a minute while I change."

"Saaaam…" Danny objected as he was handed off again.

"I'll be right back," she promised. "Why don't you go pick out a book or something?"

"Kay."

After getting ready for bed, she found Danny being tucked into their CO's bed… by said CO. She yawned sleepily and said, "My dad might be mad tomorrow, so if Hammond asks I was just following his original orders, okay?"

"I'll just tell him I ordered you back here. As far as the Air Force goes, your dad's retired and I'm your CO. He can't _technically _get you in any trouble."

"Technically, maybe you're right. But as General Hammond's best friend he could just wind up unhappy with you instead…"

"Nah, don't worry about it."

"Dack?" Danny interrupted.

"What?"

"I'm firsty," Danny stated, plainly implying that Jack was supposed to solve that particular problem.

"So… in other words you would like me to go get you some water?" Jack asked, amused.

"Yup." He nodded confidently.

"All right, fine." He turned to go but stopped in the doorway. "Sam, you're not 'firsty' too, are you?"

She laughed. "No, thanks, I'm good." Jack nodded and left. Sam sat down next to Danny on the edge of the bed and picked up the book next to him. "All right, Danny. You ready?"

She opened the book, but Danny interrupted. "No, here." He patted the space on the pillow next to him. She sighed and stretched out beside him. He cuddled into her and said, "_Now _wead. Pease."

"Well, I guess since you remembered the please," she muttered, opening the book and propping it on her stomach so she could read it while lying down - not the most comfortable of positions.

Jack returned with a sippy cup of fresh water, smiling in amusement at how quickly Danny had made them both look extremely comfortable there. "Someone's been sleeping in my bed."

She set the book down and looked at him. "Actually, neither of us has slept yet," she pointed out.

"Hmm, I don't remember the part of the story where Goldilocks was a smartass." He handed Danny his cup and said, "Well, you and the baby bear there sleep well."

"Dack I am a boy," Danny informed him, clearly not wanting to be mistaken for a bear - even a baby one.

"Oh we all know that, since you've been treating this place like a nudist colony," Jack responded, leaning over to ruffle Danny's hair. "Well, you're sufficiently hydrated, so it looks like my work here is done, kids. See you in the morning."

He figured he should leave, but the guest room seemed very lonely all of a sudden. He was secretly pleased when Danny whined, "Nooo."

"What?"

"Don't weave, Dack, stay wiff us."

"Oh. Well, okay. If you insist." Jack surveyed the crowded bed again for a moment and sat down on the edge at the end, next to Sam's feet.

"Sam," Danny prompted, squirming and patting the cover of the book.

"Right. Here we go." Sam opened the book again and began reading. "65 million years ago, the earth was a very different place…"

Fifteen minutes later, Jack was stretched out horizontally along the foot of the bed, almost asleep. Danny was still awake, fascinated by the book and glad to have both Sam and Jack in the same room with him. Sam was getting tired of reading. She yawned into the back of her hand and said, "Just a little bit more, okay. Aren't you sleepy?" He shook his head stubbornly. Sam sighed and turned the page.

"Here, I'll take a turn," Jack offered, holding out an arm in their general direction, not bothering to open his eyes yet.

"Thank you," Sam said gratefully - she'd been on the verge of borrowing Danny's sippy cup if she had to keep reading much longer. She passed him the book, but Danny objected.

"I can't see da dino-saws!"

"All right, hang on." Jack rolled over and slid up the bed to Danny's other side, getting comfortable next to the little boy. "There, now can you see your beloved dinosaurs?"

"Yup. Fanks, Dack."

"Thanks, Jack," Sam echoed with a big yawn.

Jack took up reading, expecting it to help keep him awake. Amazingly, he found he could read the dinosaur book while still remaining half asleep if he slurred through the last half of the longer dinosaur names. Danny at this age was too small to correct him, and Sam was too tired to bother. She was asleep within ten minutes of turning over the book to Jack.

He glanced over at them and smiled - Danny was finally starting to blink drowsily, his lids at half-mast. Jack closed the book gently.

"Dack?"

"Shh, Sam's asleep."

"Dack," he repeated, whispering this time and blinking rapidly to wake himself up. "Keep weading."

"Okay." Jack kept reading diligently, quieter this time in what he hoped was a sleep-inducing tone. It was working on himself at least…

Danny was the last one awake. When Jack nodded off, Danny slid the book out of his hands and looked at it by himself for a few minutes, but it wasn't as much fun alone, and he _was _sleepy. He pushed it down the bed with his feet and snuggled back down between Jack and Sam. He was a happy boy as he went to sleep - the lamp was still on and he was definitely safe between the two of them… no need to be scared of the dark anymore.

vvvvvvvvvvvv


	27. Three's a Crowd, in Bed

A/N: Sorry guys - I enjoyed the predictions and suggestions, but the story's already complete. What was it Carter said about that Supersoldier gun? "It's done, it's just not finished." Something along those lines. Anywho, I guess in light of the Jacob we saw at the end of Season 8, Jacob is seeming a bit harsh to some people in this, which was written during 7. I guess I can see that, although I think the best way I can try to explain his rationale here is that he's pretty much reacting to this situation the way Teal'c did with Ryac in "Sacrifices."

Ch 27

Sometime in the night, Danny had rolled over on top of Jack and eventually ended up on his other side, leaving Jack in the middle. Sam was melted into his side perfectly, so that they were both getting the best, most comfortable night of sleep either of them would be able to remember when they tried to later that day.

Of course, once they did realize why they were so uncharacteristically well-rested, even after spending a large portion of the night tending to the needs of a cranky toddler, they would both keep that little revelation firmly to themselves.

Teal'c wasn't surprised when he found the rest of his teammates sleeping soundly together in the morning. When the dryer had finished with the sheets for O'Neill's guest bed the night before, he had gone to inform them, expecting them to still be trying to get young Daniel to sleep. Instead, he had found them all quite comfortably asleep already, and had let them be. He had made up the bed in case they wished to relocate in the night, although he wasn't really expecting them to.

He was, however, expecting Major Carter to be up and ready to go to work on time. He would have liked to let them all sleep as long as they liked, but they all had obligations to the SGC that must be fulfilled. Today, his and Major Carter's obligations included reporting to the mountain in under an hour, although O'Neill and Danny did not really need to be awakened just now. Teal'c touched Major Carter's shoulder gently and whispered, "Major Carter. Wake up."

"Hmm?" Sam opened her eyes slowly and was greeted with Danny's messy mop of hair. She smiled into her pillow, then realized her pillow was moving up and down, and smelled (both comfortingly and alarmingly) familiar. She lifted her head and was glad to see that Jack was still sleeping.

She wasn't exactly sure how they'd all fallen asleep together… or how Danny and Jack had swapped places in the night, but she did know that she was currently much closer to her CO than the Air Force would approve of. While that may have been true on an emotional level for a really long time, this morning it was literal. But at least, if she could get up without waking him, they wouldn't have to be awkward around each other all day.

"Major Carter," Teal'c whispered again, trying to hurry her along.

"Sorry," she apologized. It took a lot of wriggling but she was finally able to untangle herself from her CO without waking either him or Danny. She followed Teal'c out into the hallway and shut the door gently. "Teal'c…" she started.

"You may tell me later if you wish, Major Carter. We do not have much time. I did not realize you did not have an alarm set."

"Okay. I'll be ready in ten minutes."

Eleven minutes later, she was driving them both to the base. She glanced sideways at Teal'c… she knew he'd never ask for an explanation but felt like she owed him one. "I know you know nothing… happened, Teal'c. I mean, we would never do anything against the regs, but especially with Danny right there, we were just reading to him and it was late and he didn't want to be alone and…"

"Major Carter, no explanation is required," Teal'c said gently, in the voice that was instantly calming. "I believe you know that my loyalties have always and will always lie with SG-1 first, and the rest of the SGC separately. And that I have the utmost respect for you, and for O'Neill, and for the dedication you have to your positions within the SGC, even though there are many government policies that I will never understand."

Sam smiled uncomfortably - it was impossible to lie to Teal'c, even if she'd wanted to, and denying what he was alluding to would definitely qualify as lying. "Thank you." After a few moments, she gave him a real smile and said, "Hey, let's drive thru Krispy Kreme on the way in. We'll get an extra doughnut for the General in case we're late. And I have the feeling my dad will be grumpy enough this morning that even Selmak won't be able to talk him out of a doughnut."

Doughnuts were one of Teal'c's favorite things about Earth, so it was an extremely easy sell. As they waited for their doughnuts, Teal'c asked, "Was your father upset last night when you returned to us, Major Carter?"

"Yeah… he was really cranky. I was starting to wonder if maybe I'd been turned back into a child as well, actually."

"I am certain he believes he is trying to protect you."

Sam furrowed her brow and asked, "Why do you say that, Teal'c?'

"Is that not what all parents wish to do above all else?" he asked mildly when he realized she had no idea what he was really talking about.

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

Jack woke up realizing someone was staring at him, and that in all probability it was the same person sitting on his chest. He opened his eyes and confirmed that Danny was staring down at him. "Good morning, little camper."

"Hi Dack. Where is Sam?"

"Uh, I don't know, let's see…" Jack sat up and glanced at the clock. "We slept late today, she and Teal'c must have gone to work already."

"Sam _and _Tea? Dey're gone?"

"I'm guessing. Come on, let's go see." He set Danny on his feet and the little guy trotted round the house after him as they did a quick inspection. "Yup. Gone."

"All day?" His chin - which still bore a faint, almost-healed scratch from his fall at the park a few days ago, started quivering like he was about to cry.

"No. We're going to hang out here for a while, then go have lunch with them. They're doing boring stuff this morning anyway. Now, you and I on the other hand are going to have fun."

"Dino-saw pwace?" he asked hopefully, perking right up.

Jack laughed. "Ah, no, we can't go back there today. But we can go to the grocery store, does that sound like fun?"

"No," Danny stated plainly.

Jack chuckled, glad that at least Danny was back in a good mood this morning. "Yeah, okay, so it's not the most exciting of places… but you can help me pick out all kinds of stuff that will make Sam and Janet go, 'Sir, you can't give him that!'"

Danny looked thoughtful for a moment and asked, "Cookies?"

"Yeah, sure, cookies. First we have to eat breakfast, though. And do yet another load of the massive amount of laundry you create."

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

Sam had just got settled in her lab and was about to begin working when Janet stopped by. "Hi Sam, how's it going?"

"Okay… I haven't actually gotten started yet though."

"Well, I won't stay long. I just ran into Teal'c though, and he offered me a doughnut. You aren't feeding Danny doughnuts for breakfast are you, because the sugar content is…"

"No, no, no," Sam interrupted. "I just stopped for Teal'c on the way in. Danny and Jack were still in bed when we left."

She realized her mistake the minute it was out of her mouth, and could only hope Janet might not notice it. Janet, of course, had special radar in such matters. "What exactly does that mean?"

"What? They were still asleep, that's all."

"The toddler was still asleep at eight o'clock?"

"Well, he was up very late last night. He was restless and tired and…"

"And correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't Danny sleeping with you?"

"Yes…"

"But saying 'Danny and Jack' were still in bed makes it sound like they were in the same bed."

"They um, were."

"And feel free to correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm getting the feeling from the way you're refusing to look at me and turning such an interesting shade of pink that you were in there with them."

"Danny was very upset last night because I came up here with my dad, so when I got back he wouldn't let either of us leave and it was late and…"

General Hammond entered. Both women stood up straight and stopped talking immediately, both hoping Hammond didn't overhear their conversation. Apparently he didn't… or he did but he was choosing to pretend like he hadn't. It was really a toss-up at this point as to which was the more likely of the two. "At ease, Major. Doctor."

"Yes, sir," they chorused.

Sam shifted uncomfortably on her feet and said, "Um, sir, have you by any chance spoken with my father yet today?"

"Yes, and I must say I haven't seen him in such a foul mood in several years, Major. What did you do to him?"

"Well, sir, I just…"

"I'm just kidding, Major. Take my advice to your father and relax. I had agreed you could return to the base last night, but he was supposed to make it clear that it was optional. It seems as though he chose to interpret that as optional to _him. _Now, I trust everything is still okay with regards to our young friend?"

"Yes, sir," Sam reported. "Although as far as getting Daniel back to normal goes…"

"That's why I'm here, Major. Your father is trying to make contact with an old acquaintance of Selmak's - apparently there's one Tok'ra left who can translate Furling. So if your theories about the language on the trunk being a derivation of Furling as you've suggested are right, then this should be a major breakthrough."

Sam nodded. Janet looked puzzled, however. "How exactly does that help?"

"Well, so far we've had no point of reference," Sam explained. "Now we can try translating the trunk to Goa'uld, using the Furling in between - like translating Chaucer into… I don't know, Japanese. You have to understand what it means in _modern _English first."

"So essentially you'll be translating the trunk to Furling to Goa'uld to English," Janet clarified.

"Hopefully. It won't be a perfect translation but hopefully it will be close enough… this is great, sir, I should be making some progress by the end of the day once we can assign sound to the symbols."

"I appreciate your enthusiasm, Major, but you're not the only person working on this, don't forget. You can have the physical trunk to yourself - the linguists are happier working in their usual offices anyway, and they're all trying to avoid your father from what I hear, but I expect you to work _with _them."

"Yes, sir."

"And Colonel O'Neill and Teal'c both have responsibilities today as well, so you will still need to take Daniel back off the base this afternoon."

"After his nap, yes, sir. That's not a problem at all."

"Good. Well, then, Major. Good luck." He nodded to both of them and left.

As soon as he was gone, Janet asked, "So, where was Teal'c during all of this - you weren't _all…_" The close scare with General Hammond possibly overhearing them kept her from finishing the sentence out loud, for which Sam gave an appreciative smile.

"No. As soon as I got there he made himself scarce."

"Why?"

"Hiding from Danny. Apparently Jaffa children don't go through the terrible twos. Lucky."

Sam pretended to go back to work so Janet would leave her alone, but it wasn't working. Janet was making a show of looking extremely thoughtful, as though she were trying to figure out something particularly difficult. Finally, Sam could take it no longer. _"What, _Janet?"

"Oh, sorry. I was just trying to figure out how you, Daniel, _and _Colonel O'Neill are all going to fit in that little portable crib when nap time comes around."

"Very funny," Sam said sarcastically as Janet showed herself out, laughing to herself.

vvvvvvvvvvvvvv


	28. Errand Boys

Ch 28

Sam had barely had time to switch her computer and coffee pot on before her next visitors dropped into her lab. Teal'c was still carrying his box of doughnuts, although Sam suspected it was nearly empty by this point. He gave a slight head nod in greeting and set the box down in the middle of her work station as her father followed with a box full of computer printouts.

"You're late," he greeted succinctly.

"Good morning to you too, Dad. Want some coffee?" Sam was determined to cheer him right out of his grumpy mood, if it was remotely possible. Besides, as soon as he stepped into the room she felt instantly guilty about the way she'd woken up that morning. Of course, it had been perfectly innocent, but when your father also happens to be a General in the USAF and therefore represents all kinds of authority ingrained into you from early childhood… well, even those who were innocent could feel all kinds of guilty.

So, maybe she was overcompensating a little with the perky greeting. From the raised eyebrow she got from Teal'c, he certainly seemed to think so at least. And her dad was looking at her just a little too carefully, like he had his own internal version of a zay'tarc detector and was trying to get an accurate read on her or something.

"We will pass on the coffee, Samantha," Selmak said - apparently they'd swapped over while Sam had been preoccupied with guilt-gut. "Unfortunately, Lin'ok was unable to render assistance personally, but she has sent us what we will need to do the translations ourselves. There is much work to be done."

As he slapped a big stack of papers in front of her and handed Teal'c an even larger one, she couldn't help but think she might be pretty grateful for 'nap time' today.

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

Jack was wheeling a very full shopping cart through the grocery store. Danny was sitting happily in the seat at the front of the basket, swinging his legs and keeping an eye out for yummy-looking treats on the shelves as they passed by.

As Jack loaded up on fresh fruit and veggies for Teal'c, Danny eyed the nearby broccoli warily. "Nuffink gween, okay, Dack?" he requested.

Jack chuckled. "What about Teal'c and Sam though, they like the green veggies."

"Oh. Okay den, but not for me and you, okay?"

"Hmm, I don't think that's going to go over to well, but we'll see. Let's go over to the bakery and get you a cookie."

"Cookies?" he asked hopefully.

"_Cookie. _As in one. Don't worry, they're big."

And there were tons of different kinds to choose from, Jack realized as they reached the bakery. "Okay, what kind do you want?"

"Chock-wat."

"There's lots of chocolate… how about that one?" Jack pointed.

"Dat one too," Danny said, pointing to a sugar cookie in the row next to the chocolate one.

"Hey, I know you can count, I've heard you do it."

"No. For Sam," Danny explained.

"Oh." Jack laughed and said. "All right, well, we can't leave out Teal'c and the doc then… or Hammond, or Sam's dad…"

A dozen cookies later and they were heading to the dairy section for their last stop before hitting the checkout. "Hey Danny?" Jack asked as he tried to make room in the cart for milk and more eggs.

"Wha?" Danny asked around a big mouthful of cookie.

"How come you like Sam so much more than the rest of us?" Jack asked, curiously. He'd been wondering, and he hadn't spent a lot of time completely alone with the boy to ask.

"I wuv Sam and Tea and you," he said with his mouth full, clearly not seeing the point of the question.

"Yeah, I know you do, little guy," Jack said, reaching into his pocket for a napkin - he'd started keeping them handy, just in case. He decided he might as well just wait until the cookie was gone to wipe all the chocolate off of Danny's face and hands and tried to explain, "But like last night, remember? You were happy playing with all of us all day but when you got sleepy you wanted Sam to read to you, not Teal'c or me."

"Yes," Danny agreed, nodding.

"Right. So… why?"

Danny stared at him like he thought it was the dumbest question anybody could possibly ask. Jack had got that look from grown-up Daniel on more than one occasion, although he usually tried to be more subtle about it. Danny finally stated, in a tone that plainly said he thought Jack was being intentionally dense, asking him something so blatantly obvious, "Sam is soft."

Jack wasn't sure what he'd really been expecting Danny to say, but it certainly wasn't that. It was true, essentially, in whatever context you wanted to take it. But being "soft" wasn't exactly a characteristic valued by the USAF, so it was one of those things his 2IC was quite good at hiding from most people. Especially when he had first met her.

It was interesting now, to Jack, that something which, between her trying to hide it and him trying not to notice it, had taken him years to add to the list of the many adjectives that could describe her in certain situations, was apparently the most obvious characteristic to a small child. Then again, maybe he was reading too much into Danny's assessment. Maybe he just meant she was more comfortable to snuggle with.

"Dack I'm cold," Danny complained, patting Jack's forearm with a sticky, cookie-crumb-covered hand to get him wheeling the cart out of the refrigerated section of the grocery store, which, Jack realized, was probably not the best place to stop and think.

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

Sam was going nuts in her lab. Her dad had basically taken over most of the available table space with the various pieces of translations he was working on - and Selmak had taken over her dad for quite some time, since he was working in mainly Goa'uld. Teal'c, therefore, was still working mostly quietly, but was occasionally muttering in Goa'uld as well. Sam was having enough trouble with her own work, so it was just that much more frustrating.

"Major Carter, would you like the last doughnut?" Teal'c offered, holding the box open to her.

"No thanks, Teal'c," she said.

"Selmak?"

"No."

"Very well." Teal'c tore it in half and ate it in two large bites.

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

Jack set Danny on his feet next to the truck and reached into the back to start unloading the groceries. "Here, make yourself useful there, little guy." He acted like he was going to hand Danny an entire twelve-pack of diet soda. Danny held out his arms for it without the slightest hesitation. Jack laughed, gave him a lightweight bag instead, and grabbed a few more for himself before following Danny up the drive.

Jack proceeded to carry in and put away all of the groceries under the watchful eyes of Danny, who seemed to consider Jack's actions some sort of performance art or something. When he was done, Jack turned to the boy, standing in the middle of the kitchen, and asked, "Okay, what now?"

Danny thought for a moment and said, "Piggy movie!"

Jack groaned. "No. Please. Anything else. Want to ride your trike? We can go to the park again."

"Yeah!"

"Thank God," Jack muttered. Although it meant making sure the diaper bag was well-stocked with various supplies they might need (but probably wouldn't) as well as securing the tricycle in the back of the truck, Jack was more than willing to pile everything - including Danny - back into the truck if it meant they were far, far away from access to "the piggy movie."

"You are so getting crap about that when you're big," he muttered as he ushered Danny back out the door.

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

The park was a good idea - there were plenty of things with which to keep Danny occupied. As it was a weekday, it wasn't very crowded either. No lines for the swings, slides, or any of those bouncy little animal things. And plenty of space for Danny to exhaust his little legs pedaling his tricycle around.

Jack was determined he was going to return Danny in exactly the condition he'd been in before - meaning no new injuries. As such, he was paying such close attention to Danny - hovering around him more like Sam and Janet tended to do, to make sure he didn't fall or anything, that he wasn't noticing much else. Danny's attention, however, was quickly stolen by the arrival of the ice cream cart. "Ice cweam!" he yelled - his voice just one among a chorus of many as the guy with the cart had the nerve to ring his bell and attract the attention of every child within range. "Dack can we have ice cweam? Pease?"

Jack sighed. The kid was looking up at him with such a polite-but-eager face that it was really hard to say no. "We're supposed to go eat lunch in a little while though," he explained. "And if you're not hungry, we'll be interrogated. Sam and the doc will kill me."

"No dey won't."

"Yes they will."

"Not uh."

"Yeah… look. You already had that big cookie, I can't give you ice cream too."

"Pease?" Danny leaned into his leg, hugged him, and looked up hopefully.

Jack glanced over at the ice cream cart. It wasn't like Danny would be a toddler forever… they'd figure out the trunk soon and it wouldn't really matter, right? Then again, all that sugar… "How about a popsicle instead?" Jack offered, figuring it was slightly better. He wasn't entirely certain if that were really true or not, but it seemed like it could be.

"A wainbow one?" Danny asked excitedly.

"Yeah! Sure!" Jack agreed enthusiastically.

"Yeah!"

"Okay, let's go."

By the time they got to the cart, they were stuck at the end of a short line of children and the parents who had been even easier to convince than Jack. While they were waiting, Jack said, "Now, when we go have lunch you better eat."

"I will," he promised.

"And if you want to not mention the whole popsicle thing… or the cookie thing, that'll be great."

"Huh?"

"Never mind."

vvvvvvvvvvvvvv

After the park started to lose its appeal Jack suggested they return home. No way he was taking the kid straight to the base covered with red, green, orange, and purple popsicle stains - not to mention all the sand that got stuck to him after he decided to play in the sandbox shortly after his popsicle partly melted all down his arms.

Danny was happy to leave - while he didn't mind _getting _dirty, he didn't so much like sitting around with sand stuck to him. Since Jack found that he'd managed to get his hair sticky with the popsicle as well, Jack just gave him a quick bath once they got back to his house. He put him back in his tiny SGC outfit since they were going to the base. Danny didn't seem to care much either way, but Jack thought it was funny. And cute. Not that he'd admit it to anybody.

They still had some time to kill before they needed to head up to the base, which Danny was happy to fill by playing inside, luckily. So hopefully he wouldn't need another bath and costume change before they had to go. Before Danny could put in another request for "Babe," Jack suggested building a fort - getting the idea as he threw another load of towels and some of Danny's clothes into the wash. Danny, who had already shown that he liked building things with Legos and Lincoln logs, was all for it.

It had been a long time since Jack had undertaken such a task, but he soon remembered a few tricks, and they quickly had all the extra bedding in Jack's house, all the pillows from both beds, the couch cushions, Jack's hockey sticks, the coffee table, and two of the kitchen chairs turned into a fort/tent-like structure to make any small boy proud.

Remembering how much Charlie had liked flashlights, Jack found two of them and crawled inside the structure carefully, trying not to knock it all in on them. They played with the flashlights for a while - Danny obviously loved it.

Jack too was enjoying being able to play with the kid without an audience. While he was more comfortable around his team than anybody else in the universe, he was still their CO, and they still needed to be able to follow his orders without smirking behind his back about something he'd done to keep a toddler-sized Daniel Jackson entertained. Then again, there was also the fact that this wasn't just any kid, this was Daniel.

Eventually he'd be back to normal again, and Jack wanted to have more ammunition to use against him than his 2IC and Teal'c had to use on _him. _Then there was Sam - whom Danny had clearly singled out as his favorite right from the start, despite the fact that it had taken some time for Sam to be as comfortable around him as he was around her. Then there was the other Sam issue… which he wasn't going to touch at the moment with a ten-foot pole. Or the nearest hockey-stick propping up a blanket and a couch cushion… whichever.

Anyway, while he'd obviously already been crucial in keeping Danny relatively happy and healthy, it was just different knowing nobody else was around. He wouldn't have wanted it to always be like that, but it was a nice change for a while. "Dack, Dack wait dere, I be wight back!" Danny called suddenly, wriggling out of their construction. He came back dragging one of his books. "Wet's wead in here!"

"Sure," Jack agreed, pointing the flashlight at the book.

He read for only a few minutes before Danny looked around quickly. "Where's Toppy?"

"Uh, I don't know. When was the last time you had it?"

Danny shrugged. They looked inside the fort. They looked outside the fort. By the time they finished checking the house, Jack was getting nearly as worried as Danny - the stuffed dino was pretty much the kid's security blanket and pacifier all in one. "Dack I can't find him!"

"I know, we'll just keep looking till we find it. Don't panic… let's go check the truck, maybe you left it in the backseat." He checked everywhere, even under the seats. "Try to think of when you had it last," Jack said. He remembered seeing him with it off and on, but the dinosaur was tucked under Danny's left arm so much of the time that honestly, Jack didn't really notice it that much anymore.

"I don't know!"

A sudden thought occurred to Jack. "Oh, no. Danny, did you have it with you in the park?"

Danny's eyes grew wide as he tried hard to remember. Finally, he shrugged. "I can't merember."

Jack sighed and pulled his keys out again. "All right, back in the truck." As he buckled the very distraught little boy into his car seat, he couldn't help but mutter, "This really might be taking our 'no one gets left behind' motto a little too far."


	29. The Adventures of Toppy and Mr Buns

A/N: This one should cheer up all the Jacob fans a bit.

Ch 29

Sam glanced at her watch for what had to be the millionth time. It was a quarter past noon, and Jack and Danny still hadn't arrived for lunch. She had been expecting them to show up right at noon or maybe even a little before. She wasn't worried, of course, but she would like to see them. It would give them all an excuse to get out of the lab, and she desperately needed a break. And there was only so much you could do with a toddler, right? She was expecting them to both be ready for a change of scenery by lunchtime.

Finally, her dad went to go drop in on the linguists and see what progress they were making. She took the opportunity to dial Jack's cell phone without being scowled at. It rang several times before he finally answered. "O'Neill."

"Hi."

"Hey."

That was a very stressed-out sounding 'hey.' "Is everything okay? We were kind of thinking you guys would be up here by now."

"Yeah, we got a little side-tracked," Jack said. "Danny lost his dinosaur."

"Oh no. Where?"

"Well, if I knew that it would be a lot easier to find. We've been going back over our tracks. I've checked the house and my truck… We checked every square inch of the park we covered, we went back to the grocery store and asked the manager to check the lost and found… He has no idea when he last had it and I'm so used to seeing him with it I don't know either. I'm starting to think it somehow ended up in the bed of the truck rather than the cab and maybe blew out. We're heading back to the house and I'm keeping an eye out on the side of the roads, but…"

"Is he really upset?"

"Well, actually, he's taking it pretty well so far. I kind of made looking for it into a game… but I don't know how long that's going to hold out and when he gets tired…"

"Yeah…"

"Do you think it's possible he lost it sometime yesterday? Do you remember him having it in bed?"

"Yeah, I know he had it this morning when I woke up… could it maybe still be in the bed? Tangled in the sheets or the comforter?"

"No, I already checked that."

"Oh. I have no idea then. They did have lots of other ones at the toy store though, I could go get one and tell him I accidentally brought it with me to work or something," Sam suggested.

Jack chuckled. "That won't work. Believe me."

"Okay, well, how about…"

"Hang on, you just gave me an idea. I'm pulling in the driveway, I'll call you back."

"Good luck." Sam hung up the phone and turned back to the work bench - her dad _and _his scowl were back, having returned while she was on the phone. She offered a slightly-nervous smile and went back to work, resisting the urge to tell him if he wasn't careful his face might freeze like that.

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

"Come on Danny boy, there's one spot left in the house we forgot to check," Jack said as he quickly got Danny out of his car seat and carried him back into the house.

"Where dat?"

"The dryer."

"Da dwyer?" Danny asked skeptically.

"Yeah…"

Jack set him down and walked briskly to the laundry room, remembering how hastily he'd taken to doing the laundry whenever he had a chance… and the two or three loads he'd already done this morning. He checked the washing machine first, which was empty, then opened the dryer and pulled out its contents hopefully.

Dumping them in a nearby basket, he and Danny both started searching. There, amidst the towels, was one orange and yellow triceratops.

"Toppy!" Danny screamed happily, hugging the dinosaur to him ecstatically. He grinned at Jack and said, "Fanks Dack for finding him."

"Yeah, no problem. I'm just glad we did."

Danny pulled the stuffy away from his face and wrinkled his nose. "He smells funny."

Jack took the toy and smelled it, then laughed. "Yeah, that's called 'being clean.' He had a bath, just like you." Danny decided that was a good explanation and hugged it to him again. "Try to keep up with him this time, okay?"

"I will," Danny promised.

"All right. Well, now that we've avoided that crisis, let's go have some lunch."

"Wiff Sam and Tea?"

"Yup… oh, I better call her."

"Why?"

"She was worried about Toppy too," Jack explained, picking Danny back up and heading out to the truck yet again.

"Can I talk to her pease?"

"Yeah, sure. You can call her on the way."

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

Sam was just trying to explain to General Hammond and everyone else why her CO was late reporting in when the phone rang. "That's probably them," she said as she picked it up. "Carter… yeah, put him through," she laughed.

"Sam?"

"Hi Danny."

"I pushed da button," he said proudly.

She chuckled and guessed, "On the phone?"

"Yeah, Dack showed me. Two wike me cuz I'm two. Sam, I wost my Toppy but Dack finded him!"

"Yeah? That's great! Where did he find him?"

"In da dwyer."

"The what?"

"Da dwyer. Toppy got a baff wike me!"

Sam realized what must have happened and laughed. "Wow, well, that's great. I'm so glad you found him. Are you on your way up here now?"

"Yup. Gotta-go byebye!" Danny called cheerfully before Sam got the dial tone.

Sam was a bit surprised at the abrupt end to the conversation - she'd been expecting the phone to be handed over to Jack at some point. But it was pretty cute, having Danny call…

"Major Carter?" Hammond prompted.

"Yes, sir. They'll be here soon."

"I trust they have located the missing dinosaur?" Teal'c asked.

"Yes… I didn't quite get the whole story from Danny but apparently it was in the dryer."

"An unlikely location indeed."

"Yeah, I still don't know how it ended up there… although I'm guessing Colonel O'Neill's not too happy about having to search the park and the grocery store when apparently it was in the house the whole time."

"It could be worse, Major," Hammond said. "I remember one summer, we were out on the lake all day, and we were halfway home before Tessa realized she'd left her blankie on the boat with the lifejackets."

"Really?" Sam asked, smiling at him. She already knew the answer, but she asked anyway. "And did you go back?"

"Of course," Hammond stated matter-of-factly. "That reminds me of another story, as a matter of fact, Jacob… something about a lost bunny rabbit at an air show in Texas?"

Sam turned to her dad in surprise. Stuffed bunny rabbit… "Mr. Buns?" she asked. "Dad, I lost Mr. Buns at an air show?"

"Yeah," Jacob said, smiling as he remembered the incident. "You were only about three, I'm not surprised you don't remember it."

"Well, I remember it," George said, hoping the memory would lighten his friend's mood somewhat. "And I know you do too, Jake. You tell the story."

"What is an air show?" Teal'c asked.

"It's a kind of thing… I don't think they're as big now as they used to be. They're held at fair grounds, you know. People bring their families, there are all different kinds of planes flying and everything. The Blue Angels, all that stuff," Sam explained.

"This one was in San Antonio," George said. "So the Air Force was a big part of it. I was flying one of the planes in formation, but Jake was just there with you guys."

"Mark was completely uninterested," Jacob said, taking over the story. "But Sam, I remember your mom was worried you were going to hurt your neck looking straight up in the air so much."

The story had to be paused as Danny ran into the room followed by Jack, diaper bag over one shoulder. Danny was waving Toppy over his head as he ran, calling, "Wook, Sam, Toppy! My dino-saw!"

"Yeah, he looks as good as new," Sam said, hugging him as best she could while he hugged her legs. "Better than new, actually."

"Yeah, I think his trip through the spin cycle did him a world of good," Jack agreed, setting the bag down on the table and perching on a vacant stool.

Everyone greeted everyone else, although Danny was the only one who made his way through the group, hugging Teal'c and then General Hammond, to the General's obvious surprise. He still wasn't about to hug 'Sam's Daddy,' however, obviously still blaming him for her recent absence. He crept back over to Jack instead.

Jack picked him up and settled him on top of the table, an arm around him loosely just in case. "So, we've had our own brand of excitement today, what have you kids been up to?" Jack asked.

"Jacob Carter was about to tell us of the time Major Carter lost her Mr. Buns," Teal'c informed him.

Jack laughed/coughed all in one and asked, "Her what?"

"Mr. Buns, sir. My favorite stuffed animal when I was a kid."

"Ah. Yes, of course. And what sort of animal was this Mr. Buns?"

"He was a bunny," she informed him.

"Ah. Of course he was. Please, don't let us interrupt."

"That's okay…" Jacob started.

"No, no, we want to hear all about it, don't we, Danny?"

"Bout what?"

"When Sam was little like you she lost her favorite stuffy like you just lost Toppy."

"You did?"

"Apparently, yes I did. I don't remember it though. Dad?" she asked hopefully - she really did want to hear the story. So did Danny - he turned his full attention to Jacob Carter, swinging his dangling legs and hugging his own treasured toy with both arms.

Jacob gave a small smile and shook his head. "Well… like I said, you were three. Mark was eight or so, so we went to the air show mainly because we thought he'd like it. He didn't. He was just as uninterested in airplanes as your mom was - she could take them or leave them, it didn't really matter. We probably would have just called it a day and gone home but you liked it."

"I found you guys in the crowd because you were sitting on your dad's shoulders," Hammond put in.

"Yeah, that's right," Jacob remembered. "We were afraid you'd get lost in the crowd because you were looking up in the air the whole time. You weren't watching where you were going at all, so I had to carry you."

"It was the middle of August in San Antonio so it was about a hundred and five degrees too, by the way," Hammond added.

"Yeah. So anyway, we had a good time. You liked watching all the planes and everything. But when we were getting in the car to go home you realized you didn't have… Mr. Buns… so we had to go look for it. We checked around our seats in the bleachers first, then had to keep looking for a long time. It wasn't returned to the lost and found, it wasn't in the women's toilet from when your mom had taken you in there… we were pretty much convinced it was gone for good. We ran into George again and he and his wife helped us look… we found it, luckily."

"How?" Danny asked, wide-eyed, caught up in the story.

Hammond laughed and said, "That's the best part."

"George…"

"Oh, come on, Jake, it was classic. He pulled rank on the announcer and got on the PA and issued an APB for the thing."

"Smart tactic," Jack said.

Sam was touched that her dad had gone to all that trouble so she wouldn't lose her bunny. While she didn't remember the specific event, she certainly remembered having Mr. Buns well after three years old. As a matter of fact, she was fairly certain he was up in one of the trunks in her attic.

"So, I take it somebody found it after you made the announcement?" Jack asked.

George answered, realizing his friend was reluctant to own up to the lengths he had gone to for something called 'Mr. Buns.' "It was very funny, actually… he was describing the rabbit when Sam, you grabbed the microphone from him and told everybody his name and that he was three like you, and it was almost time for his nap or something like that… whatever you said, it was very cute. Anyway, it actually worked."

"Yeah. Another kid found it and his parents took it to the lost and found," Jacob explained.

"I can't believe I don't remember that," Sam said, smiling at her dad and hugging him. "Dad, that's so sweet."

Jacob, despite his earlier foul mood, found himself unable to resist softening up a bit between the cheerful toddler, Selmak's constant input on everything, recalling the old story, and his daughter looking so happy because of something he'd done - even if it was over thirty years ago when he'd done it.

vvvvvvvvvvvvv


	30. Lunch Break

A/N: I've been trying to update this story daily, and so far I've managed to average about that, although I've skipped a couple of days and doubled up here and there. Unfortunately, as the story winds down and I know you guys all want to get to the end as fast as possible, I might have to slow down on the updates a bit. My step-son is sick, just a nasty ear infection, nothing too serious. But taking care of him and trying not to pass it on to the babies isn't leaving me much time to edit and post. Here's something short to tide you over. I'll do the best I can - thanks for sticking with this story.

Ch 30

SG-1 soon found themselves back in the commissary for lunch. Although Janet had agreed to meet them there, the two Generals had elected to go off base. Jack couldn't help but notice, as he made his way through the line, nudging Sam and Danny's tray along in front of him because she was carrying him, that they seemed to be drawing much more attention than usual. He supposed it was mostly the fact that they'd been gone for the weekend, so although most of the base had got used to the toddler-version of Daniel a few days ago, he'd been out of sight and mind, as had the rest of them, for a couple of days.

"You'd think these people never saw a kid before," Jack muttered quietly as they loaded their trays.

"I think it's the uniform," Sam said, patting Danny's back through his little black tee-shirt.

"I must disagree, Major Carter," Teal'c stated. "I believe it is the diaper bag."

"What… ohforcryinoutloud." Jack had meant to leave the diaper bag in Sam's lab. Now he'd been traipsing through the base with a huge quilted bag with a giant bunny rabbit on each side. "I told you we should've got that camo one at Toys 'R Us," he muttered to Sam.

"I don't think General Hammond would have considered that a necessary investment, sir," Sam said. "Besides, that one was only half the size of this one."

"And you say that like it's a bad thing?" Jack countered, leaning over and peering at the main course. "What the hell is that?"

"Lemon chicken," the server said, plopping a piece on Jack's plate.

"It has bones in it," Jack observed.

"It is the same as always, O'Neill," Teal'c, on his other side, said. The barely detectable impatient tone in Teal'c's voice contained the silent order, "Move! I want my chicken!"

"Danny can't eat that."

"We can pick the chicken off the bones for him," Sam said, shifting Danny to a slightly more comfortable position - he got heavy after a while.

"Yeah, maybe," Jack said doubtfully. "I still don't think he _will, _though."

They finished loading up their trays and made their way to their usual table. By the time everyone was all set, Janet had joined them as well. "I should have brought the booster seat," Jack realized as Sam tried to scoot up to the table with Danny in her lap - not an easy task to do while already seated with an excited toddler already trying to reach his sippy cup. Before he could reach to help her, Teal'c had snagged one chair leg with his foot and easily brought them as close as they could want to be.

"Thanks, Teal'c," she said. "And it's okay, sir, I don't mind being the booster seat," she added as she fastened Danny's bib. True, it was easier for him not to have to unhook the thing from his kitchen chair, disassemble it, bring it up to the base, put it back together, and try to fasten it to one of the hard molded plastic chairs in the commissary. But Sam also preferred the current arrangement because, well, she had missed the little guy, and wanted to hold him. Plus Jack was better at getting him to eat anyway.

"So, how's it going on the trunk thing?" Jack asked Sam and Teal'c as he started getting Danny's plate ready - mainly removing all the chicken from his drumstick and cutting his grapes in half while he listened to the update, told mostly by Sam with Teal'c offering a bit of input here and there.

"Why do you always do that?" Sam asked curiously when he finished with the grapes and slid the plate over so Danny could start on the things he could grab with his fingers.

"Do what?" Jack asked absently.

"Cut the grapes in half. And you cut the hot dogs up long ways before sideways too."

"You do the hot dog thing too," he pointed out.

"You did it first. I thought he might want it to look the same. That's the only reason I did it."

"Oh. It's just supposed to be safer. I don't know if it's one of those urban myths or not but theoretically a toddler's windpipe is the same diameter as hot dogs, grapes, and baby carrots, so it's easy for them to choke."

"He's right about that actually," Janet chimed in.

"What?" Jack asked defensively when he saw the look Sam was giving him. "I know some stuff."

"I know. I'm not surprised at _that, _I'm surprised that you just used the words 'myth,' 'diameter,' and 'theoretically' in the same sentence."

He very nearly countered that remark with, "That's what I get for sleeping with a scientist last night." Luckily, before he actually spoke he realized that not only were they back on the base, the SG-3 marines were over at the next table and would no doubt have a field day if they heard that. So, instead, he smirked and said, "We _did _bring you all freshly baked cookies for dessert. I don't know if we'll be giving any of them to smartass Majors though."

"You baked cookies?" Janet asked incredulously, so loudly that not only the marines but several other groups of people looked over at them as well.

"What did I ever do to you, doc?" Jack grumbled. She opened her mouth to respond but he held up a hand. "Don't answer that. No, we didn't bake cookies. We _bought _cookies, while we were engaged in other manly pursuits like fort-building, grocery shopping, and laundry."

Sam and Janet both laughed, but the mention of the laundry had raised another question in Sam's mind. "We never really got to hear the whole story of how Toppy ended up in the dryer," she said.

At the mention of Toppy, Danny looked around quickly. "Dack where my Toppy?"

"In the bag, relax. You don't want to get food on it again right away, it's finally clean for a change."

"Kay. Don't woose him."

"Me lose him? Look who's talking!"

"Sir… how did he get lost in the first place?" Sam asked, redirecting the conversation before they could get into yet another argument. She'd never seen anyone so willing to argue with a toddler. Then again, she doubted he'd be arguing with the toddler if said toddler wasn't Daniel.

"Oh. Right. Well, I don't know exactly. I did laundry a couple of times… I'm guessing he got scooped up in the pile of towels and clothes in the bathroom after I gave Danny a bath."

"Oh." Sam watched as Danny picked up a little piece of chicken, examined it carefully, licked it once, put it in his mouth for a few moments, then spit it back out in his hand and put it on the table.

"Yucky."

"Want catsup on it?" Jack asked.

"No. It tastes wike fwoot."

"Like what?" Janet asked.

"Fruit," Sam explained.

"I didn't think he'd like it," Jack commented, scooping up some macaroni and cheese instead - Danny did love the macaroni and cheese.

"Why did he need another bath?" Sam asked.

"He was filthy when we got back from the park."

"Got-my popsicle in my hair," Danny explained. "Dack more mac."

"If it'll keep you quiet," Jack mumbled, shoveling another spoonful into Danny's mouth.

"Wait… he had cookies and popsicles in the morning?" Janet asked.

"No," Jack said. "He had one of each. The cookie was for being good at the grocery store and the popsicle was an alternative to ice cream."

"Still…" Janet started.

"He's eating lunch just fine, Janet," Sam pointed out.

"Yeah, except for the main course." Jack set down the spoon and got to his feet. "I'm going to go see if they'll make him a peanut butter and jelly sandwich or something."

"O'Neill."

Jack turned back to the table. "Yeah, T?"

"I would like a peanut butter and jelly sandwich also."

Jack stared. Then Sam said, "Um, well, sir, as long as you're going…"

"Ohfercryin… You too?"

"Just peanut butter? Hold the jelly?"

He sighed. "Fine. Doc?"

"I'm all set, thanks, Colonel," she said, hiding her amusement rather poorly.

He made a ridiculous bowing gesture before turning quickly and heading back towards the kitchens.

"Well, it _is _better than the chicken," Sam said defensively in response to the look Janet was giving her.

"Indeed," Teal'c agreed.

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

By the time everyone had finished their lunch, including the additional sandwiches and the cookies Jack and Danny had brought, Jack had been caught up to speed on the progress they were finally starting to make on the trunk, and everyone had listened to Danny's spirited account of their day, both before and after the search for Toppy began. Since he often got carried away to the point where they could no longer understand him, Jack had to help supply much of the narration as well.

When Janet said she had to get back to work as the meal finished, Teal'c did the same, escorting the doctor out of the commissary and quickly leaving Jack and Sam alone with Danny, who, despite the bib, still needed to be cleaned up considerably, as he had peanut butter and jelly on his hands, arms, and face. He'd managed to get quite a bit on Sam's arms as well, but luckily neither of them needed a wardrobe change.

"I wonder if my dad's back yet," Sam commented as they gathered up their things and left. Danny was walking - they wanted him as tired as possible for his nap. But, remembering his previous antics in the corridors of the SGC, each of them was holding onto one of his hands. He didn't mind - actually he liked being between them, and their legs were so much longer that he had to trot to keep up with them anyway. Every once in a while he'd give a mighty jump forward, using their arms like swings.

"You want to get back to the lab?" Jack guessed as they got on the elevator. "I can stay with him while he sleeps and get you when he wakes up."

"No," Sam said, much too quickly and loudly. Jack actually gave a little start at her reaction. "Sorry," she apologized. "I just… could use a little more of a break."

"_You _want a break? From working? When you're actually starting to make progress?"

"Not exactly. It's more the working environment at the moment," she explained.

"Dad?" he guessed.

"Dad," she confirmed.

"You're all just working on translations, right? Why do you have to be in the same room?"

"I suppose we don't."

"Well, if he's bothering you why don't you just bring your stuff into the VIP room and work on it while Danny sleeps?"

"Good idea."

"What's up with him anyway?"

"I don't know. He was in a little bit better mood when he left with General Hammond, but those don't seem to be sticking for too long. I think he's been arguing with Selmak a lot - he seems to be, anyway. Maybe that's it."

"Maybe they want a divorce," Jack speculated.

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv


	31. Naps Aren't for Everyone

A/N: Thank you all especially for the last chapter's reviews and warm wishes for my sick Stargate buddy. The big boy's doing much better and we managed to keep the little boys from getting sick, so all is well.

Ch 31

When they got to the VIP room, Danny let go of their hands and ran around, taking in the familiar surroundings. "Remember this place, little buddy?" Jack asked, sighing with relief when he was finally able to lose the diaper-bag appendage, dumping it in a chair.

"Uh-huh."

While most of Danny's things were now at Jack's, they had left enough things behind for his trips to the base that he had a few random toys - the ones he hadn't been as interested in - and books left. And the portable crib that he'd never actually slept in, which was still set up by the foot of the bed.

Sam set her laptop on the table while Danny started pulling things out of his voluminous diaper bag. First was Toppy, of course, followed by his dino blanket, which was quickly tossed over a shoulder as he dug further into the bag. He pulled out a sippy cup, a book, and a slightly crumpled picture torn out of his dinosaur coloring book - the one he'd made last night for Sam.

After plopping himself down on the floor to remove his shoes, he crawled back up to his feet and ran over to her, pressing the picture into her leg. "Sam I maked dis for you."

"You did?" She unfolded the picture and sat down on the couch to look at it, smiling as Danny scrambled up onto the couch with her. "Wow, thanks, Danny. This is great." She admired the picture he'd colored and said, "I'll have to put it in my lab."

"Oh, you _so_ have to leave it there after he's big," Jack said, sitting down on the couch with them and stretching his arms with a huge yawn. "And where's my picture, by the way, huh?" He poked a finger into Danny's armpit, making him squeal and try to burrow under Sam's arm for protection.

"I make you one wight now!" Danny exclaimed, sliding off the couch and running back over to his bag again.

"I didn't mean right this second…" Jack started. "How about after your nap?"

"I not tiwed," Danny said dismissively, bringing his huge box of crayons and coloring book back over to them. Jack stretched his legs out to prop his feet up on the coffee table, blocking Danny's path. Danny grinned and crawled underneath his legs. Sam laughed as he popped back up to his feet between them, set his things down on the coffee table, and started leafing through the coloring book for the picture he wanted to color.

Sam leaned over and ran a hand through Danny's hair. "Aren't you sleepy?"

"No."

"He will be. We had a busy day," Jack said with an overly huge arm stretch and a yawn.

Sam looked at him sideways as he settled back into the couch comfortably. "I'm not sure General Hammond intended nap time to be a group thing, sir," she said mildly.

"I'm just giving him a good example to follow."

"Of course you are."

"I am. Watch. Grab those books." He nodded at the books Danny had stacked on the coffee table. Sam grabbed a few of them and handed them to him. "Thanks. Oh this is a good book!" he said enthusiastically as he opened one of them up and started pretending to read it silently.

Sam watched, amused. He laughed loudly, making Danny turn around and look at them. He took in the sight of Jack enjoying one of his books by himself for several seconds before turning back to his coloring. "It's working," Jack muttered.

"Mind if I read with you?" Sam asked, catching on.

"No, of course not, Sam." She scooted closer to him and craned her neck a bit awkwardly to see the book. Jack could easily see that that wasn't the most comfortable position for her. Danny turned to look at them again and Jack, remembering how much Danny liked to snuggle Sam when he was sleepy, decided to try and make him jealous enough to join the group. He wrapped his arm around her and slid her across the cushion until she was against his side.

She watched Danny watch them and guessed what he was up to, settling into his side comfortably. She was a little nervous because they were on the base, but they _were _supposed to be getting Danny to take a nap so they could both work… and this seemed like as good a tactic as any, and a lot more relaxing than just chasing him around until hopefully he ran out of energy before they did.Jack settled the book propped up on his legs, near his knees, and said, "Wow, look at that!"

"Unbelievable," Sam agreed.

Danny tossed his crayon down on his picture and said, "Wet me see."

Jack peered over the top of the book at him and said, "I thought you were busy."

"No I not."

"Nah, you just go on coloring by yourself. We'll just sit here and read."

"No, I wanna wead too. Pease, Dack?" He patted Jack's knee hopefully.

"Well, I don't know if we have room for you."

"Yeah huh, I'm wittle!" Danny tossed Toppy onto the couch next to Sam and tried to climb up into her lap. She laughed and helped him, pulling him up on top of them both. They shifted until they were all settled comfortably, Danny sideways in Sam's lap with Toppy under one arm. His legs and feet dangled over into Jack's lap. He cuddled into her with his cheek pressed into her chest, positioning himself carefully so that he was comfortable and could see the book as well.

Jack glanced at him once he had stopped squirming and had to conceal a smile as he remembered their conversation in the grocery store. Somehow he doubted Sam would be amused if he brought up the "Sam is soft" conversation now. "Everybody all set?" he asked. Danny nodded. "You sure? Danny? Toppy, you good? Sam? Do we need to try to track down Mr. Buns?"

She turned faintly pink and tried to elbow him, but it wasn't very effective since her arm was already trapped against his side.

"Wead," Danny instructed.

"All right, all right. I guess you want us to start all over now that you're here too, don't you?"

"Yes pease."

Jack flipped back to the beginning of the book and began reading. Sam started stroking Danny's hair, which sped up his falling-asleep process considerably. She knew it was working when he started sucking his thumb. It took another two books for him to fall asleep completely, but he finally did.

"Now what?" Sam whispered when Jack set the book aside. They were both pretty much trapped underneath the sleeping little boy.

"Let's wait a few minutes until he's deeper asleep, then we can try to move him."

Sam nodded without lifting her head from where it had drifted to his shoulder and stifled a yawn. She was finding it hard to stay awake herself.

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

Several minutes later, Jack thought he was the only one still awake. He was taking his time convincing himself to get up, move Danny, and go get some of his work done - which was, of course, supposed to be the reason he had brought Danny up to the base in the first place.

He heard the door open and turned to look over the back of the couch, surprised when Sam lifted her head and did the same - apparently she hadn't been completely asleep after all. Hammond, Jacob Carter, and Teal'c all filed into the room.

"Enter the three bald men," Jack said under his breath. Since Sam was right there, she heard him, and stifled a laugh as she tried to sit up without waking Danny. "Here, I'll get him." Jack slid a hand under Danny's knees, lifting his legs up off of his lap, got to his feet, and carefully transferred Danny to his own arms with Sam's help.

All the adults were silent during the transfer, worried about waking Danny, as Jack took him over to the crib and Sam followed with the stuffy, stopping to grab the blanket on the way as well. Jack set him down carefully and felt very proud of himself when Danny curled on his side and kept right on sleeping.

Sam covered him with the blanket and put Toppy next to him, and they joined the clump of men - bald men - by the open doorway. The first thing Sam noticed was that her dad was back in a bad mood.

"I thought he might be sleeping so I didn't want to call," Hammond explained. "Colonel, I believe you have work to do."

"Yes, sir," he said quickly, glad to get away from the look Jacob was giving him. It finally occurred to Jack that maybe Jacob didn't like finding him sitting so comfortably on a couch with his daughter.

Just as Jack started to wonder if that was somehow connected to Jacob's overall bad temper, Sam said, "Sir, I've brought my laptop with me so I can keep working while Danny sleeps. We obviously can't leave him in here alone, even if he is sleeping."

"Very good, Major," Hammond said.

Jacob disagreed. "Why can't Jack stay with Daniel so Sam can go back to her lab?"

Knowing Sam didn't _want _to go back to her lab for the time being, Jack said, "Sorry, Carter. I need the computer in my office. Unless, of course, you'd like to give me an extension on those reports, General?" he tried, turning to Hammond.

"_Another _extension, you mean? I don't think so, Jack. Go." He nodded, said goodbye to everyone, and left.

"I didn't even know he _had _an office," Jacob said to no one in particular.

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

Once she was alone with Danny sleeping away in his crib, Sam got back to work with a renewed energy. She was relieved that they were finally making progress - although her own contributions so far hadn't been up to her usual standards. Despite how much she loved Danny, she was still eager to get their Daniel back, as fast as possible. And, yes, she wanted to do as much to help as she could.

She frowned as she stared at her computer screen and realized that she needed some of Daniel's books for this particular section. She glanced over at the crib thoughtfully for a moment and smiled as the solution occurred to her.

Packing up all of her stuff, she shouldered her bag and went over to the crib. She unlocked the brakes and tried rolling the crib experimentally. Danny didn't wake up. "Yes," she said quietly as she realized her plan would work, if she was careful.

She received many strange looks as she passed through the corridors until she reached Daniel's lab, but for the most part she ignored them. These people should really have been used to seeing unusual sights by this point, yet they seemed more surprised and amused at the sight of her pushing a crib through the hallways - particularly at the struggle to get it on and off the elevator - than they did when aliens dropped by.

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv


	32. More Progress, More Puke

Ch 32

"So, this is the hard-to-find office of Colonel O'Neill," Jacob called from the doorway. Jack looked up from his computer and waved him inside.

"Jacob. What's up?"

"I was looking for Sam."

"She's not in the VIP room?"

"No. I thought maybe Danny woke up and she brought him here."

"Huh. Maybe she took him to see Janet or something. I'll call the infirmary." Jack quickly dialed the infirmary and confirmed that Janet hadn't seen either Sam or Danny since lunch. "Nope," he reported. "And you were in her lab the whole time, right?"

"I went up to the floor where all the linguists are for a while, but Teal'c was in Sam's lab the whole time."

"Hmm." Where else would she possibly go to work without being bothered? "Oh," Jack realized. "I bet she's in Daniel's lab."

"Well go get her, we have to report to Hammond in an hour, I need to know what she's got."

"Yes, sir," Jack muttered as Jacob left as quickly as he'd come. Still, searching for his 2IC would provide a nice break from all the boring reports he was plowing through.

As he neared Daniel's lab, Jack thought he'd guessed wrong. The lights were off, for one. When he reached the open door, however, he changed his mind. He had been right all along. A couple of lamps were on, plus there was enough light from Daniel's computer and her laptop for him to locate both missing members of SG-1.

Jack had found them secretly working in Daniel's lab many times, and even found one or both of them asleep in there a time or two, but it was the first (and only, he hoped) time he'd ever found Daniel asleep in Sam's lap as she continued to work.

His legs dangled over either side of the chair and his face was hidden in her shirt. She had one arm around him to keep him from falling, as she was sitting in his rolling chair. With only one hand free to work, moving from the computer mouse to thumb through Daniel's notebooks, the work was a little bit slowed, but not all that hindered.

Jack could tell, based on how she was sitting and how fast she was working, plus that slightly-crazed glint in her eyes, that she was onto something. Plus, she hadn't noticed him yet. As he stood there filling the doorway, she rolled from the desk to the work bench in the chair without having to get up and disturb Danny. She picked up another notebook and rolled back to the desk with it, speaking quietly to Danny. "As soon as you're back to your normal, fully-grown self, you and I are writing a translation program. I don't care what you say - it'll at least be a help when you're not around, even if we don't get the _exact _meanings right."

"Good idea," Jack commented.

She looked over at them in surprise. "Colonel! I didn't see you there."

"What are you doing up here? Apart from the seriously impressive multi-tasking you've got going on."

"Oh, I um, needed some of the things in here. And Danny kept waking up and every time I tried to put him back down I'd wake him up again so I finally just gave up trying. Why were you looking for me anyway?"

"Dad enlisted my services as a bloodhound."

"What?"

"He sent me to track you down."

"Oh. Why?"

"He wants to know what you're going to have for your report to Hammond. In an hour."

"An hour?" she asked, glancing at the clock with desperation. "No, that's not enough time, I think I might be getting somewhere but there's no way I can do this in an hour…"

"Hey, easy." He leaned against the work bench and said, "What's the problem?"

She gave a tired smile, recognizing the offer to use him as a sounding board. The method had ended up causing major breakthroughs in whatever she was working on that had frequently saved the day on several occasions. "The problem? The problem is that I'm not him." She nodded down at Danny.

"That's not a problem from where I'm standing."

She smiled and looked down at Danny again, marveling, not for the first time, at his uncanny ability to get people - her especially - instantly relaxed. "It's just… I can't help but wish I'd been the one this happened to. Daniel would have had all this figured out days ago."

"Well… as interesting as it might be to see what you were like as a toddler, I don't think that would have been a better situation for anybody. I mean, it was weird enough giving Daniel a bath…"

"Sir."

It was really impressive, Jack thought - and not for the first time - that she could manage to turn a word that was inherently submissive into an order in and of itself. "All right, I'll stop. Look. Maybe you're doing this all wrong."

"Well, if you'd care to take over, be my guest," she said, waving a hand at the books spread out in front of her.

"That's not what I meant. Instead of trying to do what Daniel would do, why don't you just do what you do?"

"It's not technology, I've scanned it with everything I could think of. There's no place to start!" She shot a glare at the device and said, "It's not like anything we've seen before…"

"That usually doesn't stop you," Jack said with a shrug. "Start over. Pretend you just found the thing and you're explaining what it does to me."

"Okay. As far as we can tell, it doesn't open. It doesn't emit any detectable energy or radiation."

"What _does _it do?"

"It turned Daniel into a two and a half year old child. But how am I supposed to know if that's what it's _supposed _to do or if it's broken?"

"Like the time loop machine?" Jack asked.

"Yeah…" her eyes lit up suddenly. "Exactly like that, actually! We know the ancients have done research with ascension and time manipulation, and the Asgard, their former allies, are all clones."

"Yeah… what's the connection?"

"Immortality. Different forms of it, sure… ascension, transferred consciousness, reliving the same day over and over… plus we know the sarcophagus was derived from ancient technology. Speaking of the sarcophagus, remember the canopic jar Daniel found on vacation?"

"The one with a dead snake in it?"

"Yeah. Well, it was only dead because there was a crack in it, but that's not really the point… from the outside, it looked like a regular old canopic jar. We couldn't detect the technological part inside… and that was essentially a stasis chamber, yet another form of preserving life. Obviously there are differences, but if this trunk is related to the Furlings, and the Furlings had an alliance with the Asgard, the Nox - who also live abnormally long - and the Ancients, then it's reasonable to assume that they might be conducting similar if not interrelated studies and experiments."

She was getting so caught up in her thoughts that she didn't realize she was speaking loud enough to wake Danny. He squirmed and tried to cuddle closer to her to avoid waking up. "Carter?" Jack interrupted. She stopped talking and gave him a confused look - he'd been the one who'd started her off on that line of thinking, he knew better than to stop her halfway through. He pointed to Danny, who let out a gurgly, snory sound.

"Oops?" she offered with an apologetic smile. She rubbed Danny's back until he settled again, but it didn't work. He woke up and looked around for several moments, blinking drowsily at both of them.

"Hey, little buddy. Nice nap?" Jack asked.

Danny nodded, his thumb still in his mouth, and looked around. "Where we are, Sam?"

"Where are we? Well, this is… a lab on the base. This is where we found you, remember?"

He looked around, still sleepy, so he was happy to remain in her lap. He caught sight of the masks on the wall and screamed, hiding his face in her shirt.

Jack laughed, he couldn't help it. Daniel himself had, of course, put them there in the first place. "You think he's scared of them because they're scary, or because he's appalled at his grown-up self's decorative style?" Jack asked, petting his head while Sam rubbed his back and tried to comfort him.

She gave a small, appreciative laugh and said, "They're just masks, Danny. They look scary but they're just decorations."

"Ooh, he's not gonna like that when he's big," Jack remarked. "To Daniel nothing is _just _a decoration."

Danny calmed down and eventually shifted so he could see again, but he avoided looking at the wall with the masks. Sam let him down when he wanted and they watched as he inspected his own lab. It was really impossible to tell if he was remembering it or just checking out 'new' surroundings with his usual curiosity. Although Sam would have liked to believe the former, she had to admit there was no way to really tell.

"Why we all are in here?" Danny finally asked.

"Just talking while you slept," Jack said. "I guess you should check in with Hammond and your dad before you take Danny and go."

"Yeah, probably."

They both watched as Danny neared the trunk. He regarded it for a few moments before deciding it would be something good to climb on. "Danny, be careful," Sam said, going over to him as he scrambled to his feet on top of it.

"Wook I'm a big boy Sam!"

"Yes, you are," she agreed, catching him when he jumped off the trunk at her. "Damn, I hoped he recognized it," she muttered, turning back to Jack. "I guess he just wanted to play on it."

"Yeah. Well, we know standing on it and declaring you're a 'big boy' doesn't reverse the process," he joked.

"True," Sam said thoughtfully. "But you know… so far nearly everything we've translated is part of a warning."

"And?"

"Well, it's a long warning. They were obviously concerned about the device being used improperly. So it's reasonable to assume that there's some way built in to reverse the effects."

"Assuming this _is _the intended effect," Jack added, gesturing to Danny, who was climbing back up into the chair Sam had been sitting in.

"Dack, pin me!"

"Pin you? Gladly. To what? The wall? Or the chair?"

"_Pin_ me!" he grabbed the arm rests of the chair and kicked his legs.

"Oh, _spin _you." Jack started spinning him absently, not too fast.

Above Danny's giggling, Sam said, "It doesn't appear damaged. It's likely if it was damaged it wouldn't open."

"Open?"

"I think it must open. Daniel must have opened it somehow, and was checking out the technology inside, when it… you know."

"You think he got inside the thing?"

"Considering its dimensions… I mean it's kind of small, sure, but maybe the Furlings are closer in size to the Asgard than to us… I don't know. But what if, somehow, when Daniel activated it or whatever, he got it coded somehow? To himself. Maybe that's why nobody's been able to do anything with it. Maybe it's only… unlocked, I guess… for him?"

"But he touched it a minute ago and nothing happened," Jack reminded her.

"Maybe he has to touch the right words or symbols… or maybe the symbols tell him exactly what to do… oh God. Jack, stop spinning him," Sam said suddenly as she saw the look on Danny's face. "NOW!"

Jack stopped the chair abruptly and bent down in front of him. "Okay… he's gonna blow." He picked him up by the armpits, holding him face out, and said, "Sorry, little guy…"

"Tummy," Danny managed. Sam grabbed the nearest receptacle and held it in front of him just in time, as he threw up what she would have guessed was a lot more than his little body was capable of holding at one time.

He sniffled as soon as he finished and wiped his face with his arm, smearing both with the vomit. Then he started to cry. "Poor little guy, it's okay." Jack turned him to face him instinctively, forgetting about the vomit, and rubbed his back in a soothing circle as Sam managed to fight down her own nausea the sight and smell caused.

She set the puke-filled container down on the table and managed, "Gross."

"Where's the diaper bag?" Jack asked. "We need baby wipes over here, stat."

Sam groaned. "I left it in the VIP room, I didn't have enough hands to bring it. He's got to have some tissues around here…" She quickly found Daniel's tissue supply and started wiping off the little boy's face and arms as best she could, trying to breathe shallowly through her nose as she did.

Jack held him and tried to comfort him, resisting the natural urge to bounce in the process, just in case. "I guess that was a little too much spinning," he finally commented.

"Ya think?" Sam quipped.

She threw away the tissues in her hand and pulled out a fresh bunch, wiping Danny's hand, trying to get between all his little fingers. There was vomit on Jack's shirt as well, from Danny's face, hands, and shirt. She dabbed at that as well and couldn't help but laugh.

"This isn't funny, Carter. Just get it off."

"I'm sorry, sir, it's just… after he threw up on me, I told him next time he should try to get you instead."

"Ha ha. At least _I _don't need to be hosed off."

"I'm not so sure about that, these tissues aren't helping much," she said, scrubbing at the spot on his chest a little harder.

"Well, we've found them," a voice called from the door - General Hammond.

"Indeed."

Sam and Jack glanced at each other before turning to the open doorway, where once again, the three bald men were standing.

"Now the question is… what the hell is that smell?" Hammond asked.

"And what the hell are you _doing_?" Jacob added.

Jack and Sam both looked down to her hand and she pulled it off of him quickly, throwing away the tissue. "It's puke," Jack offered. "To answer both your questions."

"I frowed up," Danny said, resting his cheek on Jack's shoulder and looking rather pitiful.

Sam scratched his little back lightly and said, "He was spinning in the chair… a little too fast. Sir, I've actually got several new things to report about the trunk but I think we should get Danny cleaned up first."

"Agreed, Major."

"I'll take him," Jack offered. "I've got to get cleaned up too. Go tell them your idea, we'll be in the VIP room."

Sam nodded.

"Good. And I'll send someone down here to clean up this room," Hammond said, making a sickened face as he tried hard not to breathe in the smell too much. "Oh, and Major Carter?"

"Yes, sir?"

"I'd like to be there to see the look on his face when you tell Dr. Jackson what happened to his Egyptian urn."

Sam's eyes widened as she looked down at the thing she'd grabbed to catch the vomit - it was one of Daniel's favorite artifacts. Then again, whenever anything happened to one of them he usually claimed it was his "favorite"… although she did specifically remember him throwing what could only be called a tantrum when Jack had decided it made a much better basketball hoop than relic once. And he hadn't even had the excuse of going through the Terrible Twos at the time, so she was guessing using it as a vomit-catcher was a no-no too.

"Crap. He's going to kill me."

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv


	33. The Mummy in the VIP Room

A/N: (general spoiler for Feb 10 episode)

Okay, so that's three really bad command decisions in a row for Mitchell. I don't care how much backstory they cram down our throats telling us he's a good guy - put Carter back in charge!

Ch 33

Generals Hammond and Carter listened to Sam's speculations on the nature and purpose of the device. It didn't really offer much practical progress, however, since if she was right there wasn't much anybody else but Daniel could do with the device, and nobody was about to let a two and a half year old try randomly interacting with the trunk in the hope that he didn't accidentally trigger something harmful. "Maybe when the translations are more complete, knowing more about the context in which it was created and intended to be used could…" Sam started hopefully.

Hammond nodded, but her dad shook his head. "You're just making assumptions, Sam. And there's a hole in your theory anyway. If what you say is true about this device being similar to various others you've encountered, and it was intended to extend life, why isn't Daniel still Daniel, with all his knowledge and memories, just in a younger body?"

"Well… again, it's an assumption, but if it were me, I wouldn't volunteer to have to grow up all over again, and I don't know a lot of people who would, with the memories and connections to people and everything they'd have to give up… but what if the device wasn't meant to be used alone? I mean, we've had experience with the Ancient repository of knowledge, a way to pass on their 'legacy.' Maybe this device was created to extend the natural lives of the Furlings or whoever while they tried to come up with a better solution… by their definition of better, of course. Sort of like technology-assisted reincarnation, without the whole dying part. So they make themselves young, then download some collective knowledge back into their brains…"

"Like the people of Orban?" Hammond asked.

"Yes, sir, exactly!"

Jacob shrugged. "It's a good guess, Sam, but it really doesn't help us at the moment. We need everyone who can working on the translation. That means you."

"Dad, I'm lousy at that, all it's doing is frustrating the hell out of me…"

"You're a lot more useful at it than Colonel O'Neill would be." He turned to Hammond. "George, I think Sam should stay here for the rest of the day. O'Neill can keep watching Danny…"

"Sorry, Jake. I know she's your daughter but they're my officers. Colonel O'Neill has his own responsibilities. They're all taking their turns with Daniel. It's been working so far. Major Carter, you're free to go. You're welcome to take your notes with you if you like."

"Thank you, sir. I will."

"I'll go with you," Jacob said, nodding goodbye to Hammond and following her out of the briefing room.

They went back to Danny's lab, which had already been cleaned up, although the air still wasn't very fresh. As she gathered her things, Jacob said, "What about tonight?"

"What do you mean?"

"Are you coming back up here or not?"

Sam sighed as they headed out of the lab, not wanting to linger in the smelly room. She set a brisk pace that her dad easily matched. "Dad… that didn't work out so well before, if you recall. Look. I wish I could do more up here. But I can't. The only Goa'uld I know is _kree. _That means everything I do has to go through one more step than it does for you and Teal'c and the linguists we have that speak Goa'uld. When all this started, I reacted exactly as you are now. General Hammond had to order me to take half days working and half with Danny - which by the way is most definitely still working. But what he said from the start was completely right - I'm most helpful to everyone at the moment by helping take care of Danny. Those are my orders. That's what I'm doing. And _nobody _is making any progress as we keep having this conversation over and over. Go complain to General Hammond again if you want, but I'm following my orders."

She couldn't remember being this frustrated with her father since before he became a Tok'ra. She opened the door to the VIP suite with much more force than was necessary, but burst into laughter as Jack and Danny turned to look at her with similar 'caught' expressions and her frustrated mood and frustrating father were instantly forgotten.

Danny was wrapped head-to-toe, minus his face, in toilet paper, walking around with his arms outstretched, 'chasing' Jack, who was dodging around all the furniture in his attempted escape. "We were just…" Jack started, embarrassed.

"I'm a mummy, Sam, raaawr!" Danny explained, making his hands like claws and starting to come after her instead, making growling noises that were evidently intended as a mummy impersonation.

"He ah… started it by himself in the locker room while I was changing my shirt and… yeah."

"Wun, Sam, I gonna get you!"

She held up her hands as claws as well - just generic claws, she supposed, they really could be dinosaur, mummy, monster… whatever. "I'm going to get _you _and take you back to Jack's house!"

He stopped stalking both of them, pleased with the plan, and said, "Okay. Mon, Dack."

"Sorry, little buddy, I'm staying here," Jack explained, picking up the loose end of the toilet paper and starting to unroll the little boy. Danny didn't mind, it was fun to twirl around and around and watch the paper come off.

"Be careful there, his stomach might still be upset," Jacob warned from the doorway, making sure to stay clear, just in case. Sam started gathering up the things that had been scattered around the VIP room and packing them into the diaper bag as Jack finished getting the toilet paper off Danny.

"Okay, weady to go!" Danny declared.

"Good. Oh - I need to move the car seat," Sam realized as she picked up the diaper bag.

"Wouldn't it be a _lot _easier if you just took my truck?" Jack asked.

"Sure, but when Teal'c asked if he could drive it you said you never let…"

"Are you Teal'c?" he asked rhetorically, peering into the diaper bag. "Keys are in there… somewhere."

"Thanks. Mine are in my locker."

"Okay. Danny?" Danny looked up at him, awaiting instructions. Jack glanced back at the adults and gestured towards Danny with both hands. "Now, see, he's so much easier to get along with like this. He listens and obeys much better."

Sam and Jacob both rolled their eyes in sync.

"What, did you guys practice that expression at the dinner table when you were growing up, Carter?" Jack asked absently before turning his attention back to Danny. "Behave yourself. No wild goose chases for lost dinosaurs, okay?"

Danny nodded seriously and hugged Jack around the legs. "Bye-bye Dack I wuv you."

"Yeah, backatcha."

Jacob raised both eyebrows, amused at the exchange.

Sam smiled at both of them as Danny took her hand to go. "Bye, sir. Bye, Dad. Come on Danny, let's go." They both said goodbye - Jacob's a bit mumbled and forced. He obviously still believed the wrong person was leaving with Danny.

Danny started off after her but peered over his shoulder in the doorway. "Bye-Bye Day-cup!" he offered with a cheery little wave.

Jacob chuckled in spite of his mood - true, Danny's presence was responsible for all this mess with his daughter and her CO, but it really wasn't the little guy's _fault… _and he _was _awfully cute. "Bye Danny."

As soon as she was out of insubordinate-eye-rolling range Jack called, "Watch that lead foot, Carter!"

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

"Sam, wet me do it," Danny insisted as she got out her pass card to swipe at the elevator.

She sighed as she handed it to him and knelt to wrap an arm around him awkwardly and lift him up to swipe it through. Usually she didn't mind - he apparently thought it quite amazing that he could make the doors open up that way, but between the diaper bag and her overstuffed laptop case, which had several of Daniel's notebooks wedged into it to the point where it wouldn't close all the way, her arms were already full.

"I feel like a packhorse," she muttered as she stepped onto the elevator and tried to get him close enough to press the button. "Press the G this time, sweetie."

"G?" He asked. Her arm was shaking by the time he found the proper button - the strap from her laptop case had slid off her shoulder down to her elbow. The doors finally started to close, just as Siler squeezed in.

"Hi Major Carter."

"Oh, hi Siler."

He leaned past Daniel and pushed the button he needed. "Hey!" Danny objected. As far as he was concerned, he was in charge of any and all button pushing.

"Um, Major, could I give you a hand?" Siler offered. "Take a bag… or a kid?"

"Thanks," Sam said gratefully. He took both bags so she could set Danny back on his feet. She took the diaper bag back and set the other at her feet and said, "Who knew the stuff that goes with a kid weighs more than the kid, right?"

"Yeah, you look like you could use some help. Hi Daniel, how's it going?"

"Danny," he corrected firmly before patting Sam's leg insistently and asking, "Sam?"

"Yeah?"

"What's a wed foot?"

It took Sam a moment to translate, and she laughed. "That's just Colonel O'Neill trying to be funny."

"Oh." Danny nodded and accepted the explanation, although she noticed that he was studying both of her feet carefully for several moments before he asked, "When Dack is coming home?"

"Er… I don't know, he's got a lot of work to do," Sam said, avoiding making eye contact with Siler, who was trying not to look interested and failing miserably.

"For dinner?" he asked hopefully.

"Um… we'll see. Probably." Sam started rummaging in the diaper bag for the keys and glanced at Siler, noticing the butterfly bandage above his eye and seizing on the change of topic. "Hey, you got your stitches out, congratulations!"

"Yeah, this morning," Siler said. "Would you like me to help you get all this stuff to your car?"

Guessing that helping her into Jack's precious truck rather than her own car would only give Siler more to report to the other gossipy Airmen and technicians than he already had, she smiled politely and said, "No thanks, I can handle it."

Thankfully, they finally reached Siler's floor. He said goodbye to both of them, patting Danny on the head on his way out. Danny wrinkled his nose and looked up at Sam as the doors slid shut again, as though he wasn't really sure what to make of the man who hadn't let him push the elevator button.

"Danny?" Sam asked conversationally. "Remind me to see if I can make this elevator go a little faster when I've got a spare minute, okay?"

"Ohhh…kay Sam," he agreed, nodding seriously.

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

A/N: I know, it ends in a weird place, but it was part of a really long chapter and I didn't have time to edit that much tonight, so I had to split it up in order to get one up tonight. More tomorrow.


	34. General Grumpiness

A/N: I promise that Jacob will come around eventually. But before that... there's this. Also, I got bored while editing this one, and I _wrote _it. So I cut up the big conversation/fight and skipped to the most important parts. Believe me, it's a lot easier and more fun to read this way. I hope it doesn't confuse anybody - just think of the breaks as scene changes and it should make sense.

Ch 34

Jack snatched up his phone quickly as soon as it rang. He was so bored with his paperwork that whatever it was, he was sure it would be better than doing what he was supposed to be doing. "Hello, you've reached Colonel O'Neill's office, also known as Mount Paperwork-more, the black hole of the SGC where time expands and paperwork will bury you alive, the place where…"

"Colonel O'Neill, I'd like to see you in my office," Hammond interrupted in a very serious tone.

"The place where memos go to die…"

"NOW, Colonel."

"Sorry, sir. I'm on my way."

As Jack headed up to the General's office, he wasn't sure if he'd been granted a reprieve or not - Hammond sounded very serious. Since there hadn't been any incoming wormholes, Jack knew there wasn't an off-world related emergency, so he didn't know what to expect.

He knocked on the door frame. Hammond was at his desk. "Colonel, please have a seat." Jack entered, feeling uncharacteristically vulnerable without the rest of his team there with him.

Jacob Carter was sitting in one of the chairs facing Hammond's desk. "Jacob? Everything… okay?"

"Sit, Colonel," Hammond repeated. Jack sat down carefully, looking back and forth between the two men. "First, let me say that this is not an official investigation."

"Um, okay."

"Yet."

"I'm being investigated? For what?"

"You're not being investigated."

"You're investigating investigating me, though?"

"I wouldn't put it like that, but I suppose you can."

"For what? Sir?"

"Your relationship with Major Carter has… raised some questions."

Jack turned to Jacob. He knew the guy had been grumpy and had started to figure out why, but he certainly wasn't expecting him to take such a serious action as to report them to Hammond.

"Shouldn't Carter be here for this?" Jack asked.

"We're not making any formal accusations against either of you at this time, Jack," Hammond said, his tone and expression showing that while he was taking Jacob's concern seriously, he also really didn't want to have to be doing this.

"Still… I mean… she should be here." If for no other reason than the fact that she'd say all kinds of things to her father that Jack wouldn't dare, he thought.

"That may very well be the next step, Colonel, but for the moment we just want to talk to you. Get comfortable. This could take a while."

As Jack fiddled with his cuffs, he couldn't help but think that he'd never longed for an office overstuffed with paperwork so much in his whole life.

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

"How-come you stopped dwiving?" Danny called from the backseat.

Sam sighed as she rummaged for her wallet. "Because the nice police officer would be very upset if I hadn't."

"Wow, wook at all dose wights, Sam! Wook! Bwue and wed!"

"Yeah, lovely," Sam muttered, rolling down her window as the traffic officer that pulled her over approached.

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

"… Are you now or have you ever had an inappropriate physical relationship with Major Carter?"

"No sir," Jack said immediately, glad that Hammond had specifically said 'physical.' Leaving the word out or asking about feelings would have required lots of rationalizing or hedging around the truth, or just flat-out lying. He recognized that Hammond was being deliberate in his word choice and was grateful for small favors.

"Thank you, Colonel. I think that answers all our questions."

"Oh come on, George, what about the phone call I overheard?" Jacob objected.

"All right, Jake, calm down. Colonel O'Neill, did you and Major Carter share a bed last night?"

Jack groaned. "Okay, technically, yes, but…"

Hammond sighed. "Jack, what the hell were you think…"

"Nothing, sir, it was an accident and nothing happened, I swear. Daniel was between us and…"

"All right. Take it from the top, Colonel. Jacob, hold all responses until he's finished."

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

Sam sighed with relief as she rolled up her window. Putting on quite an impressive "I'm so distracted and frazzled with a toddler in the backseat, please, please give me a break" act, she'd managed to get off with a warning - no speeding ticket. This time. Being in a car not licensed to herself had raised some questions, but her Air Force credentials - and imitating Danny's helpless puppy look - had been enough to convince the officer that she was driving a friend and fellow officer's car.

She turned to Daniel and said, "You did _not _see that." He gave her a confused look. "All right, you saw it. But we don't need to mention it to anybody, right?"

"Why?"

"Because… it'll be more fun if we keep it just as a secret between you and me, right?"

"Why?"

"It just…" It occurred to Sam that the more she talked about it the more he might want to tell someone else - specifically Jack - about it. So she decided to drop it, distract him as much as possible, and hope for the best. Rummaging in the diaper bag, she pulled out one of the remaining cookies and offered it to him with a big smile. "Hey, Danny, want a cookie?"

"Yeah cookie gimme cookie!" He strained forward in his car seat.

"Remember, no telling Jack about meeting the nice police man, okay?"

"Cookie! Sam cookie!"

She handed it to him, smiling when he took a huge bite. "There. Hopefully that'll work," she said to herself as she started the truck again. "After that lead foot remark, if Jack finds out about this he'll never let me live it down."

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

"So, you expect me to believe that two adults used to going without sleep for long periods of time in the field couldn't outlast a two and a half year old boy?" Jacob asked skeptically.

"Yup."

"And you just happened to be washing the sheets on your spare bed in the middle of the night?"

"As I already told you, Danny knocked over a cup of coffee I had when Teal'c and I were trying to get him to go to sleep in the guest room. Speaking of which, if you're going to be upset about team members being in the same bed, Teal'c, Daniel, and I were all on that one at the same time, and I guess you want to lodge a complaint against Daniel too, he's been sleeping with Carter for days."

"Don't be ridiculous, he's a toddler."

"My point exactly. Apart from all the Air Force regulations we would never break, if you really think either of us is the sort of person to get up to anything inappropriate with a two year old between us, then we've all got a lot bigger problems than the ones you're trying to cause right now, Jacob."

"I'm not trying to cause problems, I'm trying to protect my daughter!"

Jack snapped. Here they had both been doing the best they could with a difficult situation, and now he was being accused of everything he'd been so careful to avoid. "From what, exactly? Whatever it is, I'm sure she doesn't need it!"

"The hell she doesn't. Maybe you're both just a little too wrapped up in playing house to notice at the moment, Jack, but your careers aren't your own to throw away. Making selfish decisions will not only ruin her career but could put the future of the Stargate program and even the safety of the planet at…"

"Selfish decisions? What the hell are you talking about, Jacob? Every single thing I do is…" He stopped abruptly, interrupting himself. "Look. You're the only one being selfish here, causing problems when things were going just fine until you showed up and started making baseless accusations!"

"Baseless? You call all the stuff I've seen and heard baseless? You were _sleeping _together!"

"We fell asleep with an entire person between us, for cryin out loud!" Jack countered hotly. "For God's sake, Jacob, there's less space between any two soldiers who've ever shared a tent off-world, which means she's slept closer to me, Daniel, _and _Teal'c before and it's never been an issue. Just because it was at my house, on a bed, you've got to try to make a huge deal about it."

"Because it _is _a big deal, Jack! And the fact that neither of you seem to notice or care how much all of this has affected you is an even bigger deal!"

"The only person making anything into a big deal here is you! If you're so concerned about your daughter's career as you claim to be, why the hell are you attacking her reputation and trying to trump up phony charges against her?"

"I'm not trumping up phony charges, I'm registering a legitimate concern…"

"That's bullshit, Jacob, and you know it."

"Gentleman!" General Hammond interrupted, getting to his feet as well, sternly pointing each irate man back into his own seat. "Sit down. I think we've all got a little off track here. Let's all just take a few minutes and calm down before we proceed." They sat down slowly, still glaring daggers at each other.

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

After being pulled over, Sam was understandably a little irked as she let them into Jack's house. Danny ran inside ahead of her as she set her things down by the door and flipped on the lights. She stared at the living room in total disbelief - the place was an absolute disaster. "Holy crap."

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

Sergeant Harriman interrupted the meeting, standing nervously in the door. "What is it, Sergeant?" Hammond asked. Walter looked at Jacob and Jack and swallowed nervously - they both looked dangerously close to exploding. "Sorry to interrupt, sir. Major Carter's on the phone for Colonel O'Neill."

"She's barely had time to get to your house," Hammond remarked as he picked up the phone and offered it to Jack. "I hope nothing's wrong."

"Oh God," Jack said, realizing that his entire house was basically still torn apart, as it had been in the frantic search for Toppy earlier. He winced and reached for the phone gingerly. "Hey, Carter."

"What happened here? It looks like your house was hit by a tornado!"

"I know. I'm sorry, I forgot. We had already made the fort in the living room and then we were looking for the damn dinosaur so… just leave it, I'll clean it up later. If I get out of here alive."

"What? What's wrong?"

"I'm… it's nothing. I was just joking. You know me and paperwork."

She laughed and said, "Okay, I'll make sure Teal'c checks on you every once in a while to make sure you're not buried under a stack of old memos."

"Funny. Very funny. Bye."

He handed the phone back to General Hammond who, for his part, couldn't help thinking that Jacob had a fair point - that phone call at least had sounded much more like a friendly spousal skirmish than anything CO/2IC related. Still, feelings were one thing. The fact that his 2IC and _his _2IC had a whole lot more between them than most people wasn't exactly a newsflash to him.

And, despite everything that had happened in the past few days, he still trusted them not to do anything against official Air Force regulations, and he had to give Jack credit for not filling Sam in on their little meeting. Hammond knew her well enough to know that she would not be pleased with her father, and the resulting phone call would most likely keep them all in there for some time. Sensing that the phone call had only served to rile Jacob up again - and Hammond, with Selmak's help, had been doing an adequate job at diffusing the situation up till now, George decided it would be wise to end this meeting, now.

"Well, thank you for clearing this matter up for us, Colonel," Hammond said, shuffling the papers on his desk quickly. "You're free to go."

"Thank you, sir," Jack said, trying not to look as though he was bolting for the door, when for all intents and purposes, that was exactly what he was doing. He stopped in the doorway and said, "Um, sir, I really shouldn't be penalized for being unable to finish my paperwork on time today, should I? Since I was in this meeting for so long and all…"

Hammond gave a long-suffering sigh and said, "Just… do as much as you can before five. Now get out of here."

"Yes, sir." He couldn't resist ruffling Jacob's feathers just a little bit more, figuring the guy had it coming after stirring up so much trouble. "Jacob, always a pleasure," he said with a winning smile and mock salute on his way out the door.

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv


	35. Little Lessons

A/N: Short one for today - the next one is long, and should put Jacob back in most people's good graces.

Ch 35

Sam laughed as Danny dove into the mass of bedclothes and pillows that had once undoubtedly been the fort Jack had made with Danny, before the emergency search for the lost Toppy had begun. Giggling, Danny burrowed underneath all the covers and finally emerged with a flashlight and his Egyptology book. "Wook, Sam, our fort breaked."

"Broke," Sam corrected automatically. "Yeah, I'm a little bit scared to see what the rest of the house looks like. You guys did at least put the groceries away, right?"

"Huh?"

"Come on, let's go check out the kitchen."

"Duice?"

"Sure, you can have some juice. If you got some today." She helped disentangle him from the sheets and blankets and led him into the kitchen. A quick inspection of the fridge and cupboards as she poured apple juice into a sippy cup was a relief, especially considering the state of the rest of the house. Obviously Jack had put everything away before the fort construction had begun. "Wow, you guys actually did a really good job. I was expecting you to stock up on frozen pizzas, chips, and beer."

"Sam you making are dinner pease?"

"Er… I don't know about that… well, actually, if the Colonel has a crock pot I probably could."

"Yay!" Danny exclaimed happily, clapping his hands. He remembered last time she'd made him dinner - it had been lots of fun playing with the spaghetti and sauce.

She laughed at how excited he was. "Well, I've certainly never had such an enthusiastic request before. Let's see what we can do, huh?"

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

Crock pots were amazing inventions, Sam thought twenty minutes later as she put the lid on the pot and turned it on. Combine a few ingredients and just leave it alone for a couple of hours, and wham, instant meal. She made a mental note to thank Janet for introducing her to the art of crock-pot cooking next time she saw her and turned to Danny, who was finishing the picture he was coloring for Jack, laying on his tummy in the middle of the kitchen with his coloring book and crayons spread around him.

"Almost done there, Danny?"

"Yup. You too?"

"Well, mostly. We just have to wait now, it'll be ready around six. Right before then, we can make those rolls you guys got, if you want."

Danny loved rolls, so he nodded happily and went on coloring. "And da cake too, wight?"

"What?"

"Da cake. Dack said we could haff cake."

"I don't know how to make cake. We have ice cream for dessert."

"But Dack said."

"Then maybe you and Jack can make it when he gets here."

"Noooooo. You will make it better," he said confidently.

Sam sighed. "Danny, I don't know what… hang on, let me check the cupboards again." Sure enough, she found one of those boxes of cake mix that Janet called "baking for dummies" and Jack called "baking for people who have better things to do with their time but still like to eat cake." She read the back of it quickly and said, "All right, we'll make this. But you have to help me with the icing, okay?"

"Kay," he agreed. "I done wiff dis pick-ture, Sam."

She came over to look at it and smiled. "Wow, good job. Is that one for Jack?"

"Yup."

"Excellent. Why don't you write your name on it and we'll put it up on the refrigerator for him?" Sam suggested. That would be a nice little reminder, she thought with a smirk.

"Wite my name?"

"Yeah… you know the alphabet, right?"

He sang the alphabet song as proof. Sam listened patiently, realizing there was a big difference between repeating or recognizing the letters and being able to write them yourself. "Okay, here, I'll write it out for you and you can try to copy it."

She grabbed a note pad and sat down on the floor with him. "See, this is your name. D-A-N-N-Y." She drew out the letters carefully and said, "Try to copy underneath here."

Danny tackled the task eagerly, always wanting to learn. He copied the letters out several times on the paper and finally produced a wobbly but legible version. Sam was halfway through the cake preparations when he brought it over to her proudly. "That's amazing, Danny, you're so smart," she praised enthusiastically. Since it had been a good way to keep him entertained and within her eyesight, she said, "Hey, do you want to learn to write Jack's name too? That way we can make it say 'To Jack, love Danny.'"

"Yeah wite Dack, wite Dack," Danny said.

Sam wiped her hands off and took the crayon. "J-A-C-K. See?"

"Now wite Sam."

"Oh. Okay."

"S-A-M? Dat's all?"

"Yup. Easy to remember, huh?"

"Yeah. Now wite Tea's name."

She smiled and wrote T-E-A-L-'-C.

"What's dat?" Danny asked, pointing to the apostrophe.

"It's called an apostrophe. It's not a letter, but it's part of his name."

"Oh."

"Why don't you practice all these, that's a lot to do at once."

He nodded and took the paper and crayon back. Seeing he was once again engrossed in his little project, Sam got back to hers, picking up the cake box to read the next instruction. "Separate eggs? Great."

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

Teal'c entered Jack's office without a word and sat down across O'Neill's desk. "Hey, big guy," Jack offered after Teal'c stared straight ahead for several long moments of silence. If Jack didn't know any better, he'd say the Jaffa was… sulking.

"O'Neill, what has transpired between yourself and Jacob Carter? He is being extremely unpleasant to work with."

"Sorry about that, Teal'c, I forgot you were helping him. But it's not my fault. The guy hauled me into Hammond's office and started accusing me and Carter of… all kinds of stuff. Speaking of which, you were there with us, so Hammond might ask you if you saw anything… inappropriate."

"I see."

Jack waited a few seconds and asked hesitantly, "So… what would you say if he were to ask you something like that?"

"I would tell him the truth, O'Neill. Of course."

"Right, but… what exactly would that be?"

"That I have never witnessed any inappropriate physical interactions between you, nor do I believe any to have ever taken place."

"Oh. Good. Thanks."

"Why do you ask, O'Neill? Do you feel that there may have been some merit to Jacob Carter's claims?"

Jack narrowed his eyes at Teal'c and said, "Easy there."

Teal'c tilted his head. "I shall get back to work."

"Yeah, how's that going?"

"Our progress is slow but steady. I am hopeful we will be able to return Daniel Jackson to his former state within the next two days."

"Two days, huh?"

"That is merely an educated prediction."

"Yeah, but… two days. Huh. Well. Thanks."

Teal'c got up to leave, hesitated a moment, and said, "It will be difficult to return to the way things were. I will miss young Danny, and have enjoyed his time with us."

"Yeah. Yeah, me too."

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv


	36. Cooking up a Storm

Ch 36

The cake was in the oven, and Sam was trying to clean up the kitchen. Danny had copied out "To Jack love Danny" on the picture he'd colored, and Sam had helped him put it on the refrigerator with a Homer Simpson magnet.

Still intrigued with the novelty of learning to write people's names, Danny was still keeping himself entertained with his crayons, the notebook, and his coloring books. He was finishing up a picture for Teal'c and already planning his next endeavor.

"You're going to run out of people to make pictures for soon," Sam commented as she loaded the dishwasher, surprised at how long Danny was sticking with the same task. "You'll be making them for General Hammond and my dad before long."

"I will make one for da Gen… Gen'wall," he agreed, fumbling slightly over the less-familiar word. "And da doc."

"Not my dad though?" Sam asked curiously.

"Nope."

"Why?"

"Sam's-daddy is gwumpy."

Sam laughed. So he'd picked up on that too, huh. One thing surprised her though. "Jack's not grumpy too?" she asked, remembering how when they'd first found him, Danny had been scared of Jack because he'd yelled before realizing Danny was there.

"No. Dack is funny."

She raised her eyebrow, surprised that the toddler had picked up on the differences between Jack's occasional affected 'grumpiness,' and her dad's, which was unfortunately real. She ruffled his hair affectionately and kissed the crown of his head - no need to bother holding back on the cuddling when there weren't grown members of her team around. "You're a smart boy, Daniel Jackson."

The timer went off, so she checked on the cake. "Looks done to me," she said with a shrug, poking at it experimentally with one finger. She set it on the counter and checked the box. "Wait till it cools… this is going to take forever. Danny, I'm going to go clean up your fort and stuff, are you going to stay right there and keep coloring?"

"Yup. And witing."

"Good boy."

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

Teal'c glanced up from his work with one raised eyebrow as Jacob muttered something to himself and tossed his pencil aside. "Are you having difficulty with a translation, Jacob Carter?"

"What? No. I wish." He picked the pencil back up, then set it down, turning to Teal'c. "You know how people complain about the annoying little voice in their head?"

"Indeed."

"Well, in my case it's a very legitimate complaint. Selmak's pissed off about… something."

"You are referring to your meeting with General Hammond and Colonel O'Neill."

"Yeah… Jack told you about that?"

"He was most displeased."

"Yeah, well, so was I."

"I understand."

"You do?" Jacob asked, surprised. Teal'c's loyalty to O'Neill above anybody else was pretty much indisputable.

"I believe I do. It is often very difficult for me to reconcile the situation I have put my family in and the sacrifices my decision to fight with the Tau'ri has meant for them. I believe you are merely trying to protect your daughter from the possibility of a similar situation developing that would require her to make an equally difficult choice."

"Well… I guess I am, yeah."

"However, I also believe that O'Neill and Major Carter are doing the same thing. Perhaps in a different way, but they often handle situations in ways that I would not have expected but are nonetheless effective."

"What do you mean?"

"You are forcing them to make connections between this experience, caring for young Daniel Jackson, with a possible future relationship between them that would require one or both of them to make professional sacrifices for personal happiness."

"It's not like I don't want my daughter to be happy, Teal'c, but…"

"That was not a point I intended to make at this time. I would merely like to point out that in forcing this issue you are making it harder for them to deny the connection and its implications at all, which for them is a more effective strategy."

"Living in denial is…"

"I do not believe that either of them has failed to see any of this. Nor do I believe you have anything to be concerned about at this time. It is precisely the decision _not _to let this experience change things between them that is allowing them to be so comfortable with the current situation. While you may both be working towards the same goal, your strategy is undermining the effectiveness of the one they have grown accustomed to over many years."

Jacob was silent for a long time, so much so that Teal'c prompted, "Jacob Carter."

"Sorry, Teal'c. Selmak was just… agreeing with you vehemently. And doing the Tok'ra equivalent of chanting, 'I told you so' over and over."

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

"Oh dear," Sam groaned as she checked on Danny in the kitchen. "So much for 'good boy.'"

"Wook Sam I putting my dino-saw tickers on da frigerator for Dack!" Danny declared with a big grin.

Sam looked at the refrigerator door with a sigh. From his eye-line and down, he had taken most of the stickers out of his sticker book and done a little redecorating. He had one on his shirt and the back of his hand as well.

"Sam? Wook!"

"Oh, I'm looking." She finally had to just chuckle and shake her head. Jack might not be too happy with it, but Danny had meant well. How could he be expected to understand the difference between putting a picture on the refrigerator with magnets and using stickers? Besides, Sam had just spent the better part of half an hour cleaning up Jack's mess, so she'd just let him deal with the stickers on the fridge later. "That was sweet of you to share your stickers, Danny," she finally said. "Now, that cake should be ready for icing, want to help?"

"Yeah!"

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

"Hey, Teal'c can I talk to you in the hall for a minute?" Jack asked, poking his head into Sam's lab but not wanting to be around Jacob any more than he had to be at the moment.

Teal'c, sensing this, decided to 'play dumb,' as O'Neill would say. "You may speak to me all you wish, O'Neill. However, I am not at a point to leave my work at the moment. Please, enter."

Jack slunk inside, not looking in Jacob's direction. "Fine. I was just wondering if you're coming home with me tonight or if you're going to stay here and keep working."

"As much as I would enjoy another evening with young Daniel Jackson, I believe it would be unfair to leave Jacob and Selmak with the burden of the work."

"Okay. I kind of figured you'd say that, I just wanted to invite you. Make sure you know how much I love your company… oh woops, I guess I shouldn't have said that in front of Jacob, he'll probably report us to Hammond now."

"Jack, could I talk to you for a second?" Jacob asked, ignoring the dig.

"Don't you want to talk to General Hammond first and have him call me into his office?" Jack asked sarcastically.

Jacob rolled his eyes. "Would you just shut up and listen to me, Jack?"

Jack shrugged. Teal'c gave him that 'listen or I'll make you listen' look, so he nodded reluctantly and made a 'go ahead' gesture with his hand.

"Look… maybe I could have handled this… differently. I'm not saying I was wrong - because I'm not stupid and I know damn well that George deliberately worded those questions so you wouldn't have to lie to him, but… I guess I should have given you and Sam a little more credit in letting you do things your own way. No matter how… strangely you go about it."

"Well, gee Jake, that almost sounded like an apology."

"Don't push it, Jack."

"Right."

"Just… be careful, okay? The more blurry you let the lines get temporarily, the more difficult you'll probably find it to draw them out again in a couple of days."

Jack scratched at the back of his head and sighed. As much as he hated to admit it, the man did have a point. And however misguided his approach might have been, Jack knew Jacob did only have what he considered to be his daughter's best interest at heart, and he couldn't blame him a bit for that. "I know. I'm not… look, Jacob, what I'm about to say is sort of borderline on giving you ammo to report me to Hammond again, but if it makes you feel better… all that line stuff isn't up to me, okay? You've got nothing to worry about, it's not… I just respect the perimeters, okay, I'm not in charge of drawing them out."

He cleared his throat nervously, somewhat surprised he'd just admitted that to Jacob after all they'd been through since he arrived. He nodded at Teal'c and said, "Well, uh, I better get going. See you kids later."

"He does know that between me, you, and Selmak we've got a couple thousand years on him, right?" Jacob asked lightly once Jack was gone and he'd taken several moments to recover from the unexpected admission.

"He does."

They went back to work, although Teal'c suspected Jacob had something he wanted to ask. Finally, Jacob spoke up again. "Teal'c? What Jack just said? Is that true?"

"I believe it is."

Jacob nodded and went back to work. Teal'c watched him carefully for a moment and then said, "And I believe, should you require further proof that nothing will transpire between them, that Major Carter is unaware of this."

"Really?"

Teal'c nodded and got back to work. If nothing else, hopefully he had helped to restore the conditions for Major Carter and Colonel O'Neill to continue persisting in their 'stale mate.' Teal'c had to admit that when his teammates had taught him the game of chess, he had not understood the purpose of a 'stale mate' - the Jaffa as a people did not consider such tactics a viable option. Now, however, he began to see that it could ultimately serve its purposes.

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

"Okay, okay, that's enough for now," Sam objected, taking the icing bowl and spoon away from Danny. He was licking up all the leftover icing, and she really didn't want him getting any more sugar in his system before dinner. She knew he'd already had at least three cookies over the course of the day, as well as a Popsicle, and who knew what else. Plus grapes and apple juice… fructose was still sugar, after all.

She set the bowl in the sink and turned back around to Danny, who had solved the problem of having his bowl and spoon taken away by licking all the icing he could off of his hands and arms. She sighed and put the cake away, surveying Danny and herself. While he was certainly the messier of the two - he had chocolate icing smears on his face, shirt, arms, neck, and one ear, she still could do with a bit of a clean-up herself. In addition to a few cake mix and icing smears, there was a Danny-sized chocolate handprint on her tee-shirt.

She pried his sticky hand away from his mouth, laughing. "All right, sweetie, you're not a cat. Let's go get cleaned up like human beings, and get in some clean clothes for dinner - although I'm sure yours will end up right back in the laundry with these after we eat."

vvvvvvvvvvvvv


	37. Playing House

A/N: I love little Danny as much as all of you do - and probably more, since he's based on one of my nephews. But this story does have to end sometime (those of you who have been asking if you can keep Danny when the story's done will just have to fight over him amongst yourselves, I suppose.) Anyway, don't worry - this is the beginning of Jack, Sam, and Danny's 'last night at home,' but as such it's going to be very long and extra-sweet. I'm sorry - many of you have been asking how many chapters are left. I can't really answer that because while the story is complete, I do split chapters up and rearrange things frequently, because they're simply too long for me to tackle editing all at once, and I'm trying to keep them roughly the same size. There are three more chunky chapters about this one evening alone though, so that should be enough for us to be getting on with, right?

Ch 37

Jack wasn't sure if he should mention the whole thing with Sam's dad to her or not. After all, he doubted Teal'c would say anything, but especially if Jack asked him not to. Jacob sure wouldn't - he had to know he'd get an earful from his daughter for not confronting her directly before dragging Jack into Hammond's office. But there were other people on the base who, while they didn't know the specifics, did know that they'd all been in Hammond's office for quite some time - and somebody had probably overheard some of the yelling…

But they'd pretty much come to an understanding, so what was the point of getting Jacob into trouble with his daughter? It would upset Sam, for one, and probably just get Jacob irritated with him once more. He was leaning towards 'don't ask, don't tell' as he pulled into the driveway behind his own truck.

He let himself into the house, expecting to find it in the same state he'd left it in, but a quick peek into the living room revealed that everything had already been cleaned up in there. He raised both eyebrows and headed to the guest bedroom, guessing they were in there playing or something. They weren't, although that bed had been remade and everything tucked back into place in there as well. He checked his own room, then started to get concerned.

Then he heard Danny laughing from what sounded like the kitchen. "What are they doing in there?" he asked himself quietly.

As he headed down the hallway, he could make out their voices. "There, see? You have to start rolling it from this end or it won't be the right shape."

"What the hell…" he muttered, entering the kitchen. He stopped in the entrance, taking in the sight in front of him in surprise. Danny had to be standing on a chair to reach the countertop. Sam, next to him, was helping him roll the crescent rolls he'd got at the store.

"You know what shape these are, Danny?"

"Twiangles."

"That's right, smart boy." She hugged him and lifted him off the chair, setting him on the ground. "Okay, I have to do this part by myself, because the oven's hot."

Jack wondered how long it would take her to notice that she and Danny were no longer alone. Her back to him, she went to the oven and was setting the timer when Danny spotted him and blew his cover. "Dack! Hi Dack! You back! We misted you!" He ran over to him, hugging his legs tightly - his head hitting Jack's thigh rather unpleasantly in the process - and started talking so fast Jack couldn't understand any of it.

"Oh, hi!" Sam said, looking a little flustered as she turned around to greet him. "You snuck up on us."

"Hi… are you making dinner?" Jack asked incredulously.

"Well… I didn't think it would go over very well with Janet if we didn't feed Danny tonight."

"Yeah but…" Danny was putting all his strength into tugging on Jack's hand with both of his. "What is it, little guy?" he finally asked, reluctant to give the little boy his attention at the moment when he seemed to be having a lot of trouble wrapping his mind around the fact that it really was _his _house he'd just walked into.

"I maked some-fink for you Dack commear." Jack let the little boy lead him over to the fridge, where he pointed to a picture stuck to the freezer, much too high for Danny to have got it there by himself. Jack picked up Danny automatically as he studied the picture. "Wow… did you write this yourself?"

"Yup. Sam showed me to wite Sam, Danny, Dack, and Tea."

"Very impressive," Jack said to Danny, although he meant it to both of them. "So… let me get this straight. Since you guys came back here, you've cleaned up the tornado damage, cooked dinner, which smells _really _good by the way, and taught a toddler to write?"

"Well… he's really just copying the letters, he can't read what he's doing or anything," Sam said, uncomfortable with how impressed he looked. She usually received less praise for far more impressive things, like blowing up mother ships.

"Dack put-me-down," Danny said quickly, squirming. Jack bent over to set him down, spotting the lower half of his fridge in the process. The sticker-covered half.

"Um, yeah, sorry about that," Sam apologized. "He did it so fast while I was making the beds and…"

Jack shrugged. "I'm sure they'll peel off. I'll wait till he's… back to his normal self. He probably won't care then."

"Probably not," Sam agreed, opening the utensil drawer to set the table.

Jack went to get the plates and called over his shoulder, "You know, you didn't have to do any of this. I mean apart from cooking for all of us without any help, you really didn't have to clean up."

"Well, it was actually easier to clean up than trying to keep track of Danny with all the stuff lying around to hide in or trip over."

"If you say so," he shrugged.

They set the table while they waited for the rolls. As Jack strapped Danny into his high chair, Sam poured the entrée into a serving dish and brought it over, along with the basket of rolls and a large bowl of salad, although she suspected she'd be the only one eating much salad.

"You made all this," Jack stated again as they sat down. She gave him a look and he raised both hands in surrender. "I didn't mean it like that, it's just… well, you don't normally…"

"I know. And, this is about the extent of my culinary skills. You're making way too much out of this, Col…"

"Ack!"

"Jack. As I was saying. All I did was open a bag of salad, roll up the pre-made rolls, and throw a bunch of stuff in the crock pot. You barbecued for everyone - Teal'c and Janet included - the other day, after all." She definitely wasn't going to mention the cake now - not when he was making such a big deal out of rolls and crock-pot casserole.

"What is this exactly? It looks great," Jack said as he spooned food onto Danny's plate first, then his own.

"It's one of Janet's recipes - it's some sort of chicken casserole, I don't know if it has a real name. It's just noodles, chicken, chicken broth, a few veggies, a few kinds of cheese… you just throw it all in there and let it sit. Even I can't screw it up."

Jack took a huge bite without hesitation - at least any outwards signs. The few lingering doubts he'd had quickly faded as well. "Wow," he said after he'd swallowed. "Teal'c is going to be _so _sorry he turned down my invite tonight."

"Really?" Sam asked, buttering a roll for Danny.

"Really. This is… awesome. All of it."

She glanced at him and had to look away - he was giving her one of those melting-looks that she could never look at for very long without… well, melting.

Jack picked up Danny's little plastic fork and started feeding him after she broke the eye contact. Sam was getting uncomfortable, and if he made _too _big a deal out of it, she'd probably never cook anything for any of them ever again. So, he searched for a change of topic and said, "So, your tiny little car did a real number on my knees. I haven't used a clutch in a long time."

"You didn't grind the gears down to…"

"Relax, your car is fine. So, Danny, what else did you guys do today?"

Sam ate quietly while Danny chattered away about learning to write everyone's names and coloring pictures for Jack, Teal'c, Janet, and apparently General Hammond as well. When he got past that, he declared, "And I wick't up da icing."

"You did… wait, icing?"

"Yeah fwom da cake we maked."

Jack's eyebrows rose again in unison as he turned his attention back to Sam. "Cake? You made cake too?"

She shrugged. "It was his idea. He wouldn't take no for an answer." It worked out rather well that she was suddenly devoting all of her attention to rapidly pushing around the food on her plate, because she didn't see how long he stared at her with his mouth slightly open.

He had to admit, he thought he'd been doing an okay job at refusing to think about any of their temporary arrangement as potentially anything other than temporary. It certainly didn't help that after all the talk with Jacob and Teal'c today, he'd walked into just about the most extreme domestic setting he could have imagined - so much so that the thought had actually crossed his mind, for a fleeting moment, that he might have somehow stumbled into an alternate reality or something. Now, he couldn't stop thinking about how much he was going to miss having someone - someone specifically Sam - to 'come home to' … or 'with,' preferably… when all this was over.

"Dack! More!" Danny squawked, interrupting Jack's musings.

"What… oh. Sorry little buddy." He scooped up another bite and fed it to Danny, who for once was eating everything on his plate without complaint, even the vegetables she'd hidden in the casserole. "So, ah… sounds like you had a really fun afternoon, huh Danny?" he asked.

"Yeah we saw wights!"

"You saw what?" Jack asked, turning to Sam for a translation. She had dropped her fork and looked very deer-in-the-headlights all of a sudden. "What's wrong?" he asked quickly.

"Nothing," Sam said quickly, clearing her throat and reaching for her water.

"Wights, Dack. Wed and bwue wights fwom da po-weese man," Danny informed him eagerly.

"Hey, we had a deal," Sam objected weakly.

"Well, well, well," Jack said, leaning back in his chair with a smug smile. "Sam… you weren't by any chance trying to bribe a child - this sweet innocent little boy - to keep his mouth shut were you? Because in my experience that very rarely works."

"I gave you a cookie," Sam grumbled to Danny, stabbing a noodle moodily.

Jack couldn't resist teasing her just a bit more, although he was going to let it go a lot sooner than usual - hey, she'd cooked dinner and there was still cake on the way, after all. "So… another ticket to add to your collection, Speed Racer?"

"No, actually. I just got a warning, which is why there's no need to make a huge deal about it…"

"Well, apparently Teal'c isn't the one I should have been worried about driving my truck. And, remind me to tell Daniel he owes me twenty bucks. When he's tall enough to reach the ATM, of course."

"Twenty…" she sighed. "What was the bet this time?"

"Nothing for you to concern yourself with. Just keep doing whatever it is you do to weasel your way out of actually getting tickets when you get pulled over."

"You bet I'd…" she started, then turned her attention to Danny, not above holding his toddler-self responsible for the actions of his grown-up self in this case. "And you bet I _would _get a ticket?"

He gave her a blank, unconcerned look and asked, "More wolls?"

As Jack buttered another roll for the little guy, Sam couldn't help but defend herself a little bit more. "I don't think I was speeding that much anyway, I was being careful."

"As I recall, your definition of 'not speeding' is driving eight or nine miles over the speed limit."

"Who gets pulled over for only going…"

"Well, that combined with the fact that my speedometer is a little bit off…"

"What?"

"Yeah, did I forget to mention that?" he asked innocently.

"Why is your speedometer off?"

"When I got new tires, I got the bigger ones, so the turn radius is larger than the speedometer is used to. It throws everything off when it counts revolutions."

"That makes sense. I can probably fix that."

"I'm sure you can. While simultaneously baking cakes and teaching toddlers to read… and probably building naquada reactors too. Speaking of which," he said, turning his attention to Danny. "Any little boy who can already read should be able to figure out how to use a toilet. You're lucky Teal'c says you'll be growing up soon or we'd be doing some serious toilet training, mister."

Danny gave him a huge-eyed look of surprise and looked at Sam with a 'help me' look.

She stifled a laugh and pointed out, "He can't _read. _Not really…"

"Yeah, yeah. It's still impressive."

She cast around for a change of subject, grateful that Jack seemed willing to drop the speeding thing. For now at least. "Well, now that you've heard what we were up to, how did the rest of your day go?"

"Not so great," he said truthfully, distracted by Danny as the boy tried to shovel a heaping fork-full of casserole into his mouth and it fell to his bib instead. Undeterred, Danny picked it up with his fingers and got it in his mouth that way instead. Jack took control of the fork back and turned back to Sam, who had her brow furrowed in concern, obviously trying to figure out what could have gone wrong in the relatively short amount of time since they'd left him at the base. He smiled and said, "It's okay though. It's a lot better now."

Blushing slightly at the soft look in his eyes and tone of his voice, she turned her attention back to her plate, picking up a roll and tearing it into ridiculously small pieces so it would take an extra-long time to eat.

They got back to the meal in silence for a few moments, until Danny said in a very firm little voice, "I wike my diaper. I not using da toy-wet." Sam started giggling at the serious tone and firm scowl on his face, and couldn't stop for a long time.

As Sam wiped her eyes with her napkin, Jack and Danny looked at each other and shrugged. Danny had been deadly serious, so he didn't see why she found it so funny, but as long as he was the center of attention he didn't really care if he was being laughed at. And Jack, well, he was getting way too used to seeing her so relaxed and happy. He was going to miss that sound when they went back to the 'no giggling' rule.

Jack couldn't help but find himself getting irritated with Jacob again for putting all that stuff in his head. Not that it hadn't been there before, but he'd been doing a pretty good job at keeping anything that could possibly be classified 'wishful thinking' at the back of his mind. Now, though, how could he possibly be expected _not _to think about… stuff he wasn't supposed to think about at all. He knew - probably from spending too much time with the grown-up Daniel - that he wasn't even really irritated at Jacob specifically, it was just misdirected frustration at the situation in general.

Then again, he had two choices. He could continue brooding, which would only make him unhappier and end up putting Sam in a bad mood as well or at least make her uncomfortable - she was already starting to shoot him looks of concern. Or, he could just deal with all that later and enjoy what was probably going to be one of their last nights with Danny as a little boy.

Sam had surprised the hell out of him with all this 'homey' stuff that he wouldn't have expected of her, not that she wasn't capable of it, (as far as he was concerned she had proven many times that there really wasn't anything she _couldn't _do,) but it had always just seemed like something she wasn't interested in spending time doing when there were tons of other things she had to do and she could just as easily eat one of those old sandwiches in the commissary while she worked - the prepackaged ones that only Sam and Teal'c were brave enough to go near. Anyway, he decided that since he had Sam's shining example of trying something sort-of-but-not-really out of character, he could to do the same thing, and make the very un-Jack-O'Neill decision to choose enjoying the present rather than brooding about the past, future, and all the missed opportunities in between.

"Er… Jack? Everything okay?"

"What?" he asked, looking up quickly; he didn't realize how long he'd been sitting there staring at a random spot on the table.

"With the food?" Sam asked, trying very hard not to look nervous.

He let out a loud, almost barking laugh - he'd automatically thought she meant 'everything okay' in general, as though she were privy to his line of thinking. He smiled a little bit too big. "Everything's great."

"Good," she said, visibly relieved. "I haven't made this in a really long time, not since the last time Cassie was over for a whole weekend, which was… two years ago? Can that be right?"

Jack shrugged. "That's about the time her dance card started getting too full for weekends with me too."

"I guess it's different since she didn't get here until she was almost twelve but…"

"They grow up fast?" Jack guessed.

"Yeah."

He nodded sympathetically. Danny, who had been growing more and more indignant over in his booster seat at the lack of attention he was getting from both of them, finally leaned over the table as much as he could, trying to help himself to another serving. He slid his plate into Jack's glass inadvertently in the process, spilling iced tea everywhere and sending everyone springing into action.

As Sam and Jack both set about cleaning up Danny and the table as best they could, Jack suddenly started laughing again. "What?" Sam asked, reaching for more napkins.

"I was just thinking… yeah, they grow up fast… then they play with mysterious alien doohickeys, get turned back into toddlers, and flood your plate with tea."

She laughed and handed him the double-handful of soaked napkins in her own hands as he took all the mess out to the rubbish. She looked down at Danny, who was grinning, obviously pleased with the result of his actions even though they had been accidental. "You're extremely lucky you're so adorable, mister," she informed him, dabbing at his nose with the last clean napkin. "Now, what were you trying so hard to reach?"

He pointed to the casserole. She smiled and picked up his plate to get him some more. "You know, I'd be a lot more flattered with how much you seem to be enjoying this if I hadn't seen you digging into all kinds of alien goo over the years."

"Ah, but as a toddler he has a much more refined palate," Jack said, returning with more napkins and a clean plate for himself, which he held out hopefully.

Sam raised an eyebrow but filled his plate again as well, remarking, "You didn't seem to think his palate was so refined when he was putting catsup on Chinese food the other day."

He had to laugh at that. "Good point. But the point I was _trying _to make is that he's right. This is great."

As they sat back down to get back to their meal after the interruption, Sam couldn't resist adding, "I'm telling him you admitted he was right when he's big again."

Jack shrugged, glad they were all back in cheery and not uncomfortable moods. "As long as you back me up about that bet."

vvvvvvvvvvvvvv


	38. The Cake Conspiracy

Ch 38

Sam and Jack cleared the table before dessert, while Danny banged on his plastic tray with his fork and chanted, "Cake! Cake! Cake!" loud enough to be heard in the kitchen.

Jack laughed as he got out dessert plates. "Just get two," Sam called as she got out the cake and a knife.

"You're not having any? But you made it," Jack said, confused.

"I know, but I'm stuffed from dinner. I'll have some eventually, just not right now."

"Okay…" He took the knife and started cutting a huge piece of cake for himself.

"Okay, Danny's piece needs to be about a quarter of that. He already had lots of the icing while we were making it," Sam said, amazed that he still had room for that much cake after all the dinner he'd just put away. "And I make no guarantees on that anyway, so you might want to start with a smaller piece."

"Nah, it looks great. Everything else was delicious." He cut a smaller piece and got a cup of milk for Danny.

"Saaaaaaaaaaaaam! Caaaaaaaaaaaaake!" Danny called loudly.

Sam, who was waiting for the coffee to finish, started to answer, but Jack said, "I'll go let him start eating before he figures out how to get out of the chair" and left with both hands full.

Sam was pouring the coffee when the phone rang. She checked the Caller ID and saw that it was Janet, so she answered. "Hi Janet."

"Hey, Sam. I didn't see much of any of you today so I wanted to see how everything was going."

"Oh, everything's fine. Danny was…"

"Who is that?" Jack called.

"It's just Janet!"

On the other end of the phone, Janet snorted. "_Just _Janet. Thanks a lot."

"You know I didn't mean it like that. And anyway, I should be thanking you…"

While Sam continued her phone conversation in the kitchen, Jack tried to get Danny to stop chanting, "DammitDannit" over and over, which had begun as soon as he overheard the doctor's name. Jack finally solved the problem by shoving the first mouthful of cake into Danny's mouth.

The little boy closed his mouth around the cake in surprise, chewed for a few moments, then made a terrible face and spit it out.

"Uh-oh," Jack said quietly, glancing nervously into the kitchen. "What's wrong with it?"

Danny was too busy drinking his milk to answer, so Jack took a bite himself and chewed thoughtfully. It wasn't really _bad, _it was just a little bit... raw... in the middle. It made the cake a little gooey, and gave it kind of a strange texture, but the flavor was still okay.

Still, Jack could easily imagine Sam focusing on the not-quite-perfect cake and completely forgetting about everything else she'd done… the solution was obvious. He had to keep her from finding out that there was anything wrong with the cake. That was easy… except for having Danny as a witness and therefore necessary partner-in-crime. And the kid's track record with secrets was now against him after the whole speeding ticket incident… this had to be done carefully.

Jack inspected his own slice of cake carefully and realized that the first inch and a half or so, under the icing, was just fine. So he quickly cut that part off Danny's piece, transferred the rest to his own plate, and said, "All right, Danny, try it now."

"No," Danny said firmly, crossing his arms.

In between huge bites of cake, as Jack now had to dispose of most of Danny's piece in addition to his own before Sam got off the phone with Janet, he lowered his voice and leaned closer towards Danny. "Listen - we don't want Sam to find out you don't like the cake, okay?"

"Why?"

"She spent a long time making it because you wanted her to. You don't want to hurt her feelings and make her sad, do you?" Danny's eyes widened and he shook his head firmly. "Okay. The top part is good, with the icing. You just eat that and be quiet, and if she asks you if you like it, you say yes, because you like the top part, so you're not even lying. Got it?"

"Got it Dack," he said, nodding seriously.

"Good boy." Jack ruffled Danny's hair and continued eating. "Okay, shhh, here she comes," Jack said suddenly, hearing Sam saying goodbye to Janet on the phone. He stuck a forkful of mostly icing into Danny's mouth so it would take him a while to chew and swallow, and put another over-large bite in his own mouth, frowning as he realized he'd accidentally used the same fork again and got a little milky drool with it as well, which definitely did not help the flavor at all.

So it was that when Sam rejoined them, she was surprised to see that they were both apparently trying to eat as much cake as possible in as little time. "Wow," she said, stopping behind Danny's chair and stroking his hair absently. "It looks like you like it."

"It's delicious!" Jack declared after swallowing. "We love it, don't we Danny?" He held his breath hopefully.

Danny picked his milk back up and said, "Yup!"

"It looks like you must have inhaled yours," she said, noticing that Danny was almost completely finished. "Here, why don't I help you so Jack can finish his own piece by himself," Sam suggested, pulling a chair up to the other side of Danny's chair and picking up the little fork on his plate. "You really like it?" she asked once more, biting her lip.

"Yeah we do. Everything was wonderful, Sam. Right, Danny? What are you going to say to Sam for cooking such a great dinner?" Jack crossed his fingers under the table.

Danny grinned - icing and cake outlining his mouth - and said, "Fanks Sam we wuv you!"

She returned the smile and wiped his face off. "I love you too, Danny. And don't forget, you helped with everything."

"What did the doc want?" Jack asked, not wanting to spend too much time pressing Danny to keep up the little cover story.

"Not a lot. She just wanted to check in, see how Danny was. She might be asking for verification that I cooked tonight, by the way."

"Well, she'll have to take my word for it because there aren't a whole lot of leftovers," Jack said, groaning slightly as he got to his feet to clear away their plates. He was extremely full.

"Yeah… two adults and a child… Janet told me that casserole served six people."

"You'd have to make two of them if Teal'c had been here then," Jack remarked as Sam took Danny's bib off and set him on his feet.

He immediately ran into the living room, calling "Mon Dack, mon Sam wet's pway!"

"I'm too full to play," Jack groaned, patting his stomach as they followed the energetic boy nonetheless.

Danny bounced back over to him, demanding, "Fwy me!"

Still grumbling, Jack airplane-flew him around the room, crash-landing him on the couch and crashing next to him for a bit of a break. That turned out to be a big mistake, as Danny interpreted it as an invitation to jump on him. Sam picked Danny up and shot Jack a look of sympathy. "Danny, let's play quietly for a while."

"Why?"

"Because, you'll hurt Jack's tummy if you keep jumping on him and making him throw you around, and we've had way too much vomit in our lives lately, I don't think we need anymore from either of you. Do you want to do a puzzle again?" she asked hopefully.

"No. I will get my Wegos."

"Good idea," she said, putting him down. He ran off down the hallway.

"Thanks," Jack managed.

"Sure. You _can_ tell him no, you know."

"Oh yeah, you're one to talk. And besides, Teal'c said they'll have the trunk figured out in two days, so we probably won't have much more time with the little bugger." Sam got a sad look in her eyes that Jack really didn't want to be responsible for. He smirked and added lightly, "So I've got to get all the blackmail material out of him I can in the meantime."

She smiled, although she was rolling her eyes as she did it, and said, "Oh please. You've loved every minute you've spent with him."

"Hmph."

Danny came back in dragging his big tub of Legos. He dumped them in front of the coffee table and ran off again. "How many of those does he have?" Jack asked.

"Just one."

Jack glanced at the clock. "Hey, it's time for the Simpsons."

He turned on the television, but they were both more interested in watching Daniel. He dragged his Egyptology book from the bedroom and settled himself on the floor, found a picture of a step pyramid, and began trying to reconstruct it with Legos. After a few moments, he turned back to them. "Sam I need help pease wiff dis."

She joined him on the floor once more and started helping him, ignoring Jack's sarcastic, "You _can _tell him no, Sam."

Jack could tell that his comment that they wouldn't have much time left with Danny was starting to get to her as the evening wore on. She continued to play happily with Danny and responded to Jack's attempts to be funny, but she was stroking Danny's hair more than usual and got a slightly sad look in her eyes every now and then.

Jack picked up one of the disposable cameras Teal'c had left lying around and snapped a few pictures of the construction process - grown up Daniel might find it funny that he'd been interested in pyramids while he was still in diapers.

"Done!" Danny declared triumphantly, getting to his feet next to it - they had used all the Legos and it reached his chest. "Dack, come wook! Take a pitcher!"

"A picture?" Jack corrected as he rolled off the couch with a slight groan and came over, dutifully admiring the Lego creation. He snapped a picture of the finished creation, with Danny stood next to it, and said, "Wonderful pyramid. Very… triangular." He patted Danny on the head and tried to do the same to Sam, but she swatted his hand away lightly. "So, is this one a landing pad for UFOs, or just a pyramid?"

"Maybe teeny tiny UFOs," Sam said, accepting the hand he offered to help her to her feet. "Although I think those are only the smooth pyramids, not the step ones… whatever they're called. I guess we'll have to ask him when… when he's big again."

The sad look was trying to creep back into her eyes, so Jack thought fast and said, "Hey, Danny? You ready for your bath?" It was pretty impossible to be sad while trying to give a squirming toddler a bath.

"Yeah!" He immediately started trying to pull his tee-shirt off right in the middle of the living room. "Sam! Dack! Help!" he squealed dramatically as his head got stuck in the neck hole.

Laughing, Sam pulled his shirt off for him and glanced over at Jack. "I'm assuming you want me to supervise?" Jack would do it if he needed to, but if given the choice, he was still a little uncomfortable bathing Daniel. "Danny you don't have to take your pants off right now," she added, a little too late. When he started pulling at the sticky tabs on his diaper, she picked him up to stop him, not wanting him completely naked until he was ready to go directly into the tub, in case of 'accidents.'

"You're just so much better at it than I am," Jack said, patting her on the shoulder before going back over to the couch, where he made a show of getting all comfortable again and picked up the remote.

"Right," she said, smiling. "Come on, Danny."

"Can I haff bubbles?" he asked hopefully.

"Sure. Let's go."

vvvvvvvvvvv


	39. Tubby Time

Ch 39: Tubby Time

Sam filled the tub halfway, adding bubbles and dumping in the various bath toys they'd got when they took Danny to the toy store - two plastic ships and two plastic airplanes. The airplanes weren't really meant to go in the bath but Jack had said that if the Navy was being represented, the Air Force should be as well. He also had a pair of squishy fish that could squirt water out of their mouths.

Sam had quickly realized that giving Danny a bath meant sitting in the Splash Zone, which wasn't fun in jeans, so she had taken to changing into boxer shorts while she did it. It was also easier to sit on the edge with her feet in the tub. It made leaning over and washing his hair easier, especially if she needed to stop him from falling.

Danny had been happily splashing around in the tub, playing with the bubbles and having an airplane and ship fight with Sam that had nearly resulted in her falling right in with him when Jack knocked on the door. "Can I come in?"

"Yeah, sure," Sam called.

Jack let himself in and laughed. He'd decided they could do with a few pictures of Danny in a bubble bath, and was thus properly armed with the camera once more, although it was currently held down at his side, forgotten. He hadn't expected to find his 2IC in boxers, half in the tub herself. Both of them had stray bubbles stuck to them, and Danny greeted Jack by squirting him in the chest with one of his fish toys. "It sounded like you guys were having a party in here."

"Not a pawty, Dack, we are haffing a baff."

"Ah, my mistake." Remembering the camera, he held it up, calling, "Say cheese, kids."

"Just him!" Sam insisted, a little too late. Jack shrugged non-apologetically and snapped a few of Danny, who made himself a bubble-beard for even more attention. Setting the camera down on the counter as far away from the splashing toddler as possible, Jack commented, "You know, when I've bathed him he's always ended up crying when I washed his hair."

"Ah, you didn't do it right," Sam guessed.

"What do you mean? I leaned him back, I supported his neck, I poured the water from that cup so it trickled down his hair but not his face…" Since Sam's smile was getting bigger and bigger the more he talked, he finally stopped and asked, "What?"

"See? You didn't do it right. Danny, ready to wash your hair?"

"Kay Sam," he agreed.

She handed him the plastic cup they'd been using to wash his hair. He scooped up water and dumped it straight on his head, shrieking with laughter. He did it twice more and wiped his eyes, grinning. "Weady for da shampoo, Sam!"

She squeezed the baby shampoo into her hand and scrubbed it into his hair much longer than strictly necessary because he enjoyed the attention, then swished her hands in the water to rinse the suds off. "Okay, ready?"

"Yup." He closed his eyes, covering them with his hands as well.

She picked the cup back up and said, "All right, here it comes," before dumping the entire contents of the cup onto his head at once.

Danny giggled and called, "Again!"

"Let's let Jack try it," Sam suggested, offering him the cup.

He took it and copied her. "Huh," he said in amazement as Danny continued enjoying the process. He kept dumping water on the little boy's head until all the suds were gone and glanced at Sam. "All right, no need to look so smug over there."

"Sorry," she said around a big smile which completely defeated the purpose of the apology. "It's just that it sounds like you were so gentle and careful and everything… and he just likes to have the water dumped right on his head."

"Yeah, well…"

"No, I tried it like that at first too, but it seems that he gets nervous every time you try to tilt him backwards… maybe he's afraid of getting water up his nose or something. Plus most of the times I've given him a bath we've had enough time for him to play first and have fun, and you've usually given him emergency baths after he gets exceptionally filthy in the middle of the day."

Danny squirted her in the face with one of his toys, shrieking with laughter. She closed her eyes and waited as Jack chuckled. "Yes, definitely more fun this way," he finally said, handing her the towel she'd laid out for Danny.

She wiped her face, calmly picked up another squirty fish, and smiled at Danny. "We don't want Jack to feel left out, do we Danny?"

"Nope!" Danny declared.

Jack suddenly found himself being targeted from two different angles. When his fish needed a refill, Danny decided it was a lot easier to just splash Jack directly. "Hey!" Jack objected. "All right then, I'll use this," he said, reaching for the toy. Danny refused to hand it over, shaking his head and splashing Jack liberally to get him to back off. "Hmm, all right, be that way."

He turned to Sam and said, "All right, Carter, I am ordering you to relinquish that weapon."

She started to hand it over automatically, just out of habit, then quickly realized what she was doing and shook her head. "I'd like to see you trying to bring me up on charges for refusing to hand over a bath toy, Colonel. Somehow I don't think General Hammond would take you seriously."

"I wouldn't be so sure of that," Jack said absently, thinking it far more likely that Hammond would take him entirely _too _seriously, just in a completely different way. "Come on, you're double teaming me, here, you can't leave me completely unarmed as well." He made a grab for the toy she was trying to protect with both hands, getting sprayed in the face by said toy in the process, and grabbed both her wrists with his other hand, trying to get the toy from her without hurting her in the process.

Danny was shrieking with laughter and splashing them both - no longer certain whose side it would be more fun to be on. Sam was objecting and laughing as well as she tried to get away from him, and Jack, also laughing, was trying to convince Danny to switch to his team. "Come on, Danny, I've got her arms pinned, get her!" Danny squirted her obediently amongst all the noise and chaos, but then splashed Jack as well.

"Hey!" Jack objected, twisting towards Danny and pretending to try to grab him as well. Danny squealed and slid further along the length of the tub, and Sam screamed. Jack's lunge for Danny, while still holding onto her wrists, had made her slide right off the edge of the tub.

She grabbed his arm automatically as she started falling, and he managed to stop her from hitting the bottom of the tub too fast or hard, although the resulting splash left both of them, especially Sam, almost completely soaked. Danny, thinking they were all about to join him in the tub, got a little overexcited and tried to join the group, slipping in the process as he tried to walk on the slippery floor of the tub.

Jack let go of Sam's arm with one hand with the quick reflexes of so many years of field experience and managed to grab Danny as well, stopping his fall just in time - catching him draped over Jack's arm, his face only an inch away from colliding painfully with the faucet. The chaos over, they all froze in place, catching their breath for several long moments where the whole bathroom was suddenly completely silent except for the continued little noises from the water that was continuing to move around them because of their movements.

Then Danny broke the temporary silence by starting to scream and cry loudly. Jack knew he wasn't hurt, but wasn't surprised that the little boy had been scared by the near-collision. Sam quickly grabbed Jack's shoulder for leverage and got back upright, freeing Jack's other arm to actually move Danny, who latched onto him quickly and nearly managed to pull Jack into the tub on top of them with the force of his arms around Jack's neck, he was that scared.

"Hey, you're all right," Jack said, cupping the back of his head. The bathroom made everything echo, making the crying even louder than all the laughing had been. "We crashed that party well, didn't we?" he said absently as Sam gave up the pretense of trying to stay dry and just stayed right there in the tub, patting Danny's back as well.

When he felt her hand, he turned to her instead, letting go of Jack and burying his face in her neck instead. "I think bath time is officially over," Sam commented, stroking Danny's hair.

"I'll get your towels," Jack said, getting to his feet with a groan. He was so wet now he needed one as well, but the first order of business was to get Danny calmed down. He grabbed the towels and helped Sam to her feet in the tub carefully, as she was thrown off balance by having Daniel stuck to her like a koala bear.

"Dat was scaaaawy," Danny wailed as his sobs started gradually dying down, the fright wearing off. She continued comforting him as she stepped onto the bath mat carefully.

Jack helped her get the towel around Danny as best they could, considering he wouldn't loosen his grip on her at all, and said, "Let me mop up some of this water before you move off the mat." As he wiped off the floor around the tub with another towel, he said, "Now I know how we've been making so much laundry."

"Yeah," Sam agreed, rubbing Danny's back through the towel.

When he was finished mopping up the water, Jack tossed the towel into the hamper and said, "All right, Danny, can you come to me now so Sam can get dry too?" His crying now dwindling to occasional sobs and sniffles, Danny nodded and turned into him for the trade off. Sam picked up one of the other towels, but since her clothes were totally wet, she couldn't do much with it except wipe her arms and face. "Let's go get you in some PJs," Jack said to Danny, realizing she needed to change completely, whereas his jeans weren't yet completely soaked, so at least he wouldn't drip too much throughout the rest of the house. "That should get you looking less like a drowned rat, okay?"

"I not a wat," Danny objected with a loud sniffle.

Sam smiled and rubbed his back for a moment. "I don't think he meant that literally, Danny. It's just an expression."

"Yeah, he actually looks a lot more like the dog I used to have when I was a kid always did after I gave him a bath," Jack said slowly, as though he'd given the matter a lot of thought.

Sam laughed quietly, trying not to be too amused, worried it would hurt Danny's feelings if he thought they were laughing at him because he'd fallen.

Jack was trying very hard not to notice how cold his 2IC was becoming the longer she stood there in wet clothes, but he realized he probably wasn't doing a very good job when she blushed and lifted the towel back up under the pretense of drying her already-dry face. "Um, I'll go get him changed and everything, so if you want to take a shower to warm up or anything… or… yeah. We'll just be going now."

He shifted Danny to one arm so he could pick up another dry towel for both of them and headed out the bathroom quickly, Danny saying around the thumb that usually only ended up in his mouth while he was awake if he was scared, "Fanks for saving me Dack."

"No problem, Danny."

"And Sam. You saved boff of us, Dack you vewy stwong!"

"All in a day's work."

"Not stwonger dan Tea dough," Danny added matter-of-factly as Jack grabbed a fresh diaper and some pajamas and headed to his own bedroom to ensure Sam's privacy in case she decided not to take a shower - he still hadn't heard the water go back on in the bathroom.

He quickly got Danny dry, diapered, and dressed for bedtime, then stripped off his own wet shirt and dried himself off, changing into dry sweatpants and a tee-shirt. "Okay, kid. What do you want to do until bedtime?"

Danny thought for a moment and asked, "Piggy movie?"

Jack groaned. "Now how did I know you were going to say that? Look little buddy, we've got all sorts of other good movies to choose from. The doc left a good chunk of Cassie's collection and I've got a couple of my own that are way better than the piggy movie. Let's go have a look, okay?" He swung Danny up into his arms and asked hopefully, "Hey, have you ever seen 'The Wizard of Oz?'"

vvvvvvvvvvvv


	40. Talking Pigs VS Flying Monkeys

A/N: Yeah, I know this one is mean. But hey, I've finally given into some nagging... I mean 'helpful criticism,' and named the chapters so people can go back and find things easier if they like.

Ch 40: Talking Pigs VS Flying Monkeys

When Sam emerged from the guest bedroom, showered, clean, dry, and warm in her pajamas, she wasn't surprised to find both Jack and Daniel in the living room. She was, however, surprised to find them both standing in front of the television, facing each other, both with firm looks of determination on their faces, both clutching movies to their chests.

"Come on, Danny, just give it a try. I promise you'll like it. There's singing and dancing, and a lion, a scarecrow, a tin man, a girl named Dorothy, a little dog… a witch, flying monkeys…"

"Monkeys don't fwy," Danny stated seriously.

"Yeah, and pigs don't talk," Jack countered.

"Babe can, he is a special piggy!"

"Yeah, well… these are special flying monkeys! I promise, this movie is way better than that one."

Danny looked so utterly disbelieving that any movie could be better than his precious 'piggy movie' that Sam, who had been trying not to be noticed, couldn't take it any longer, and laughed out loud, drawing both their attention.

In concert, they both started trying to get her on their side.

"Sam, tell Danny how good this movie is."

"Piggy movie! Sam piggy movie, wet's watch dis!"

"It _is _a good movie Danny," Sam acknowledged when they had both stopped to hear her answer. "But… I'm not sure he's old enough to watch it, Jack."

"Come on, it's not even rated…"

"Yeah, but don't you think it will scare him?"

"The grandma sheep gets murdered and the pig almost gets shot in the face by the farmer in _his_ movie!"

"Yeah, but…" Sam sighed. He did have a point. And it _was_ a pretty long movie, Danny would probably be asleep thirty minutes into it… and she had to admit, she'd much rather watch 'The Wizard of Oz' than watch 'Babe'_ again. _

"Danny, I think you'll like this one if you give it a chance. Let's watch it for a little bit and if you don't like it we can turn it off okay?" Sam suggested.

He thought for a moment and said, "Okay Sam I will twy it. Where's Toppy?"

"I think I saw him on the bed."

"Den I will be wight back," Danny informed them both, surrendering the tape before trotting off down the hall.

"Is it just me, or does he keep getting cuter by the minute?" Sam asked, shaking her head and smiling.

"Yeah, he's pretty cute," Jack agreed as he put his movie of choice in the VCR. "Good thing he grew out of that before we met him," he added, just because it seemed like the thing to do.

Danny ran back into the room with Toppy and scrambled up onto the couch as Jack started the video. Sam didn't even try to resist the urge to pull Danny into her lap on the couch and cuddle him. When his hair was damp and brushed out of his face and he was in his footy pajamas, he still looked more like a baby than a little boy. "Sam do monkeys fwy?" he asked skeptically.

"Ah, no, not really, sweetie."

"See Dack I toad you," Danny said proudly as Jack sat down at the other end of the couch and reached for the remote.

"I never said they did in real life, I said they did in this movie. Like your talking farm animals."

"Farm aminals are _weal!_"

"Not talking ones."

"Yeah huh dey talk to each udder just not to people."

"How do you know? You're a person."

"In a diaper," Sam interjected quickly when Danny opened his mouth to respond but didn't seem to know what he should say to that. "Jack, you're once again arguing with someone wearing a diaper and footy pajamas."

"Wiff dino-saws," Danny added, pointing to one of the little dinosaurs that formed the pattern on his pajamas.

"Can we just watch the movie please, gentleman?" Sam asked, yawning into the back of her hand. It had been a very long day.

Danny snuggled into her more comfortably and said, "Kay Sam, I sowwy."

"It's okay, Danny, you don't need to apologize. It's just time to get quiet before bedtime." She stroked his hair away from his forehead and rested her cheek on the top of his head for a few moments - he still smelled like baby shampoo.

Jack narrowed his eyes at Danny suspiciously - the little boy was giving him a smile that could definitely qualify as a smirk - one that seemed to be saying, "Jealous?"

Or maybe Jack was just being a little paranoid, which was understandable after the day he had. He propped his feet up on the coffee table to get comfortable and turned his attention to the movie - Danny may have appeared to get Sam on his side, but they were still watching Jack's movie, after all.

As soon as it started, Danny turned to Jack and Sam with a look of utter confusion. "Where da color go?"

Jack laughed. "There is no color. This part's in black and white."

"Why?"

"Because it's Kansas."

"Oh." Danny nodded as though that was an adequate explanation, although Sam highly doubted he had ever so much as heard the word 'Kansas.' "I be wight back," Danny said suddenly, sliding off of Sam's lap and heading into the kitchen.

Jack and Sam watched him go, amused. He came back in carrying his giant box of crayons, heading straight for the television, and they both got to their feet quickly. "Whoa there, Danny boy, you better not be thinking what I think you're thinking."

Danny turned to him and said matter-of-factly, "I gonna fix your movie, Dack."

"It doesn't need to be fixed…" Jack tried to explain. "It's supposed to be in black and white at the beginning. It'll go to color in a few minutes, just watch. Look Danny, puppy!" He pointed at the screen hopefully. Sure enough, the distraction worked. Danny lost interest in 'fixing' the movie and let Jack take his crayons, laughing as Jack scooped him up under one arm like a football to take him back to the couch.

"Color my television. I don't think so, mister," Jack said gruffly, dropping him onto the couch carefully.

Giggling, Danny said cheerfully, "I sowwy Dack," and leaned over to pat him on the arm.

"Yeah, yeah."

Sam watched all of this and tried to figure out how exactly the little boy was able to tell the difference between Jack's grumpy act and her dad's actual mood. She finally gave it up - he must have just been born sensitive to other people's emotions.

They watched the movie without incident for a full five minutes before Danny asked, "When's da color coming?"

"Soon," Jack said. "Just watch."

"I watching Dack but dis is boring!"

"Hey watch the language, pal. This is a classic." The phone rang, interrupting the potential Round 2 Sam could easily see unfolding. Jack went into the kitchen to answer, leaving Danny and Sam alone.

She watched him fidgeting around on the middle cushion, kicking his legs, playing with Toppy, squirming around, and said, "Danny, why don't you hand me that remote and we'll skip ahead to the color part while Jack's on the phone."

Grinning, he scrambled to the arm rest to fetch the remote and brought it to her obediently. She fast-forwarded to the color part and said, "There, now, see, when she wakes up everything's going to be in color, just watch."

Danny watched the screen, growing genuinely interested in the movie for the first time as he saw the bright colors and huge flowers that made up Munchkinland. He slid off the couch again, moving closer to the television and hopping around in place as he watched excitedly.

"Ah, so you do still have some of that sugar left in your system," Jack commented as he joined them again. "Either that or Sam hid jumping beans in the casserole."

Danny didn't even hear the comment, he was watching the movie so closely. Jack sat back down, made himself comfortable again, and added casually, "You didn't really expect me not to notice you skipped ahead did you?"

Sam shrugged unapologetically and gave the remote back to him - although neither of them really needed it, he seemed to really be much more comfortable when he was holding it… not unlike Danny and Toppy, actually. As the comparison occurred to her, she laughed quietly to herself. Not quietly enough, apparently - Jack correctly guessed he was at least somewhat responsible for her current state of amusement and asked, "What?"

"Nothing…"

"Hmm. If you say so. That was Cassie on the phone. She wants to babysit Danny tomorrow night."

"What did you tell her?"

"That she's welcome to come see him anytime he likes but that Hammond ordered one of us to be with him at all times. It's true, and it seemed easiest."

"Was she okay with that?"

"Yeah. I didn't have the heart to tell her he probably won't be like this much longer, maybe not even tomorrow night…"

"Are they really that close?" Sam asked, trying to sound nonchalant.

"Well, let's just say that they've got such a long list of things the box tells them _not _to do with the device that pretty soon there won't be many other things left that it _can _do."

"Did Teal'c happen to mention if they've gotten any further on those symbols they couldn't decipher at all?"

"No, I don't think so, but we didn't spend a long time talking about that."

"Why not?"

Jack was saved having to decide whether or not to tell Sam about the lovely day he'd had with her father by Danny jumping back on the couch between them and shushing them loudly. Jack shushed obediently, then, seeing the amused look on Sam's face, stipulated, "I'm only shushing because he's finally watching it."

"Of course you are."

vvvvvvvvvvvvv

When the movie ended, Danny was sound asleep, having made it through the mildly-scary parts of the movie by hiding his face in Sam's shirt, and falling asleep before it got to the most intense parts. Jack turned down the volume as the credits ran and looked down the other end of the couch - when Danny had finally started to crash, Sam had stretched out on the couch with him to keep him still and help him go to sleep faster.

Jack was sort of expecting her to fall asleep as well - he was exhausted himself, and not nearly as comfortable as she appeared to be. Of course he could have elected to get up and take the comfortable chair, which would have given him all the room he wanted, but he preferred to remain at the far end of the couch, wedged into the corner between the arm rest and Sam's feet. He also preferred not to stop and think about why that was. Not now anyway. He nudged her foot lightly and asked, "You awake?"

"No, I've mastered the art of sleeping with my eyes open."

"Hey, that's how I get through briefings. You should have come to me for pointers years ago," he said lightly, confused when she immediately looked hurt and mildly horrified at the statement. Then he got it. "Oh! I didn't mean… not _your _briefings. Just Daniel's… and the annual budget meeting… and…"

"I get it," Sam interrupted, smiling.

"Good."

"I didn't buy it though."

"Damn. I'll have to work on that. Want me to help you out there?" He nodded at Danny.

"I guess," Sam said reluctantly. "It's pretty late, we should get to bed." He raised both eyebrows in response. She closed her eyes and shook her head slightly. "I meant…"

"Yeah," he agreed quickly, getting to his feet. "I knew what you meant." It was weird - little awkward moments had never been unusual and even happened between them fairly often, but since they'd been watching Danny, the awkwardness had been growing more and more infrequent. Still, that just made it that much more embarrassing when one of them let something slip.

He set about picking Danny up carefully without waking him and took him into the guest room while Sam headed to the bathroom to get ready for bed. As Jack shifted Danny to one arm to pull down the covers on the bed, he stirred, waking partially. "No, no, no, go back to sleep," Jack said quietly, rubbing Danny's back for a few moments before laying him down and tucking him in, perching on the edge of the bed himself and watching hopefully.

Danny turned back on his side and started sucking his thumb again, but opened his eyes drowsily and looked around, obviously confused as to how he'd gone from watching a movie in the living room to being tucked into bed in the guest room. "Where my Toppy?"

"Sam's got him, she'll be here in a minute. Go back to sleep, Danny." He stroked Danny's hair for a few moments to encourage him to go back to sleep. Danny nodded and closed his eyes again, yawning around his thumb.

Jack was just about to get up when Danny added sleepily, "Night-night Dack I wuv you."

Jack couldn't help but smile at that, and before he could let himself get self-conscious about the fact that this was still technically Daniel Jackson, he had leaned over and kissed his head - like Sam was always doing - and said, "I love you too, Danny. Sweet dreams."

After another moment or two, he got up and turned to go, and froze.

Sam was leaning against the door frame and she looked like she was about to cry. She didn't. She just stood there, looking at him, somehow keeping him from feeling caught off-guard by with such an equally unguarded look of surprise and affection that he relaxed again… while at the same time they had managed to catch themselves in yet another of those 'playing with the line' situations Jack had been talking to Jacob about. All that without having to actually say anything.

Finally, they both looked away at the same time, which was always the best resolution to one of those moments between them - nobody had to be the first one to back down or change the subject, but they didn't actually have to address it either… they could just add it to the ever-growing collection of Things Never to be Mentioned Out Loud.

It usually fell upon Jack to make some sort of joke at this point. Tonight, he waved his hand and said, "You saw nothing. We're not the droids you're looking for. Go on about your business."

Laughing quietly, she said, "Hmm, we obviously need to watch Star Wars again. You sort of butchered that one."

"Teal'c will be thrilled." He stopped as he passed her in the doorway and squeezed her arm lightly for a moment. "'Night, Sam."

"Good night, Jack. See you in the morning."

vvvvvvvvvvvvv

Despite being exhausted, Sam was still awake an hour and a half later, and she was starting to get restless, but reluctant to risk waking the sleeping little boy one pillow over. While she had initially been thinking about how much she'd miss not only Danny but also the affect he'd had on all of them, she had quickly realized that tonight at least that wasn't the reason her mindwouldn't shut down. She had that feeling that she'd forgotten something important. After running through a list of possible things she could have forgotten and coming up with nothing, she finally tried to stop thinking about whatever it was and get some sleep. Turning back on her side to face Danny, she smiled fondly at the sleeping little boy drooling on his pillow and brushed his hair away from his face. She watched him for several minutes and finally drifted into a restless sleep.

vvvvvvvvvvvvvv

Sometime in the middle of the night, she sat upright in bed, instantly wide awake. She glanced at Danny once before jumping out of bed and hurrying down the hall, almost-but-not-quite running. The snoring from Jack's room assured her he was sleeping so she hurried inside without knocking and didn't bother stopping until she was leaning over him and shaking his shoulder. "Jack, wake up! Colonel!" No response. She reached over and flipped on the lamp on his night stand, shaking his shoulder a little harder this time. "Sir!"

He made a sound that was part snore, part inhale, and part snort, and said something into the pillow that could have been, "What?" but sounded more like, "Mrrrmphht."

Too excited to ensure that he was actually awake first, she blurted out, "I think I figured it out! I know how to use the trunk!"


	41. Pillow Talk

A/N: In the immortal words of Han Solo, "It's not my fault!" Seriously though, this is a very long chapter and I worked my bum off to have it ready to go yesterday, but there was something wrong with the site. I tried again today at naptime, and it wouldn't work then either. It was actually rather frustrating. Anyway, I do believe this is the saddest chapter of the story- maybe even of anything I've written. Don't worry, it gets better. It wouldn't have made sense if they weren't a little sad to say goodbye. And I promise they'll eventually finish all the conversations that get started here.

Ch 41: Pillow Talk

"Jack?" Sam asked, getting impatient that her revelation had failed to elicit a response of any sort beyond that one incoherent word he'd muffled into his pillow.

Absently wondering if Teal'c could teach her how he always managed to wake up their CO with one quiet word, she plopped down on the edge of the bed and shoved his shoulder just a little bit harder than most people would consider necessary. Biting her lip for a moment, she cleared her throat and did her best impression of Teal'c. "O'Neill."

Nothing. Apparently her Teal'c impression wasn't any better than her airplane noises.

She let out a frustrated sigh and debated the pros and cons of going from shoulder-shoving to shoulder-punching. On the one hand, it would probably wake him up. On the other hand, if she woke him up by punching him, in all likelihood he'd come up swinging himself. Teetering dangerously close to whining, she said, "Come _on_, wake up, this is really important!"

Sam yelped in surprise as he suddenly rolled away from her, onto his back, trapping her arm and taking her with him. And while Jack had been clinging to sleep fiercely, having his 2IC suddenly land right on top of him was more than enough to wake him up.

He let out an 'oomph' as her knee landed squarely in his solar plexus and got the wind knocked out of him, but even as he shook off sleep's last foggy remnants he sent up a silent 'thank you' that her knee hadn't found a lower, even more painful target. "Carter what the hell?" he demanded as she scrambled off of him.

He'd already had the comforter and everything kicked down around his legs and now it seemed to be attacking her - or at least she must have thought it was, based on how hard she was trying to kick free of it. He turned on his side and watched her, amused.

By the time she won her battle with his comforter, he was laughing into his pillow. She glanced at him and then decided it would be much wiser to stare straight up at his ceiling instead.

"So, um, it's not so much that I object to you jumping into bed with me, but you should really work on your technique a little there," he finally remarked conversationally. When she laughed, he added, "Frankly I expected more of you."

She covered her face with her hands, but he could tell it was to hide the fact that she was giggling rather than from embarrassment. "That is _not _why I'm here," she said firmly. "And for the record I did not jump into bed with you, I was _trying_ to wake you up. _You're _the one who pulled me down on top of you."

"Can you blame me?"

"Jack."

"Okay okay. If you're not here for a pajama party, what is it?"

"I figured out how to fix Daniel! At least, I think. The first step anyway. I need to check a few things first, but I'm almost positive I've got it."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Come on, I'll go get him." She sat up and turned to get to her feet.

Jack grabbed her wrist lightly. "You want to go up to the base right now?"

"Of course." She turned back around, looking at him as though _he _were the crazy one - it was very similar to the look he was giving her.

"Sam," he stated. "It's the middle of the night. You want to go wake up that sweet, sleeping little boy, not to mention everybody at the base?"

"People have been working nonstop on this for days, and I've had…"

"General Hammond's not going to come back up to the base for this until morning anyway, and he's not going to let you do anything with the trunk until he gets a report…"

"All right, I guess you have a point," Sam admitted reluctantly. "I'll go get him."

"And how exactly does that fit into 'you have a point?'"

"I can't leave him alone in the guest room and I've already interrupted your sleep enough so I'll just move him in here and…"

"What?"

"Well, I admit waking Danny up was… overreacting but _I _can still go get started. You can bring him up in the morning and…"

"No," Jack said flatly.

"What?"

"Look, I'm glad you had one of your genius revelations - in your sleep this time, apparently… but that just means you weren't sleeping right. Which is further proof that you need to sleep _now_. A few more hours isn't going to do anybody any harm."

"But…"

"I'm surprised you're so eager to get him changed back all of a sudden anyway. I thought you liked him like this."

"Of course I do," Sam said defensively, and Jack realized he'd hit on the best way to convince her to wait until morning, which was good, because his first plan had been to just order her to go back to bed. While that was sort of entertaining in and of itself, he doubted she'd appreciate him pulling rank whenever it was convenient, while simultaneously encouraging the informal atmosphere they'd been developing since Danny had shown up. He wasn't _above _resorting to such a tactic - at least not at two in the morning when he was pretty damn tired himself and wanted to go back to sleep… but he'd rather avoid it if he could.

"I love Danny, you know that. And if there were no way to get him back to Daniel I'd happily go tell General Hammond I wanted to adopt the little guy. But the fact is we _can _get him back and we need him. We need him on SG-1, the SGC needs him as part of the program… not to mention the fact that we can't very well decide to keep him like he is just because he's cute, while essentially erasing the person he was and making him grow up as somebody else who just happens to have the same DNA as our old friend and…"

"Whoa, easy," Jack interrupted. "Geez, breathe, Carter. I wasn't suggesting we keep him small forever just because he's cute. I know he's not a stray puppy or something. I just meant I was surprised that all of a sudden the solution to the problem seemed more important to you than letting Danny get a good night's sleep."

"Oh. Well when you put it like that…" she sighed. "I know I got carried away, it's just that I haven't really been contributing to the solution all that much and I kind of… overreacted."

"Yeah, just a little."

"Actually, I don't think there's such a thing as overreacting a _little. _I mean, by the time you're able to say that someone is 'overreacting,' it pretty much implies that there's nothing _little _about it…"

Convinced she wasn't going to make another dash towards the guest room for the sleeping boy, Jack finally released her wrist and nudged her leg instead as he spoke. "You've been giving _me_ crap about arguing with Danny, and now _you're _arguing over my attempt to defend you from your own accusations against yourself?"

She looked down at her hands and got very still and quiet all of a sudden, and Jack realized that the time for gentle teasing was, once again, over. Between the way her brain flashed from one thing to the next and the way he was always subverting serious conversations with attempted comedy, they had always been quite good at switching on a dime from serious to silly, and back again.

After a few moments, he said hesitantly, "So… if you're right about the trunk thing - and you're always right - then… this was really our last night with Danny, wasn't it?"

"Probably," she agreed.

They let that sink in for a few moments before Jack commented, "It was a good one though."

The remark reminded her of something he'd said during dinner that she had wondered about. And, not wanting to start getting emotional about losing Danny now, she tried to steer the conversation in that direction to keep her mind off of dwelling on how much she was going to miss the sweet little boy they'd grown so fond of in such a short time. "It was," she agreed. "But you said you had a bad day today, remember? What happened after Danny and I came back here that was so bad?"

"Oh God… it's a little late to open up that can of worms."

"Oh. Okay." She tried ineffectually to hide her disappointment - she'd been very curious.

He looked at her carefully and sighed. He knew her mind would already be busy thinking about all the things she'd be doing if he'd allowed her to go back to the base. Add on the mystery of what he'd been doing all afternoon that had made him so grumpy when he came home… he knew she'd never be able to go back to sleep. "All right. Get comfortable." He waited as she twisted around until she was facing him, sitting cross-legged on the mattress near his legs. Her toes were cold, so she inched them under his leg discreetly as he started talking. "Well, first of all, everything's fine. So… don't get too mad when you hear this, okay?"

"That's a really terrible way to start a story, you know."

"Hey, hold all criticisms of the storyteller until the end, please."

"Sorry. Please continue."

"That's better. So, you know how your dad's been a little…"

"Bitchy?" Sam supplied.

"I was going to say 'irritable.' But… yes. Anyway, I found out why."

"You asked him?" Sam asked, surprised, knowing her dad would be unlikely to volunteer the information on his own.

"Ah, no. Not exactly. But I sort of figured it out when he had me called into Hammond's office and accused me of having an inappropriate relationship with his daughter."

"What?" Sam exclaimed loudly.

"Shhhh, you'll wake up Danny."

She lowered her voice and continued. "Are you serious?"

"Unfortunately, yes."

"Why didn't you tell me before?"

"It wasn't an official complaint, and we got everything worked out so I didn't want to tell you right away when I got home and you guys had cooked dinner and Danny was all excited about writing our names and…"

Dismissing that issue, she zeroed in on the more important one. "What the hell was he thinking?"

"Well… I'm not sure exactly. But listen, everything turned out okay. See…" He filled her in on everything, and she reacted pretty much as he'd expected her to. She was much more upset about the whole thing than Jack had been, and was especially irritated that her father hadn't tried to talk to her about it personally first before making professional accusations against her CO - no matter how 'informal' they had been.

By the time Jack had finished his narrative, she was all ready to rush back up to the base again, this time so she could have a few choice words with one retired Air Force General. Jack shook his head. "Calm down. It turned out not to be that big a deal anyway. Apparently overreacting runs in the Carter genes."

"But…"

"Nope. Talk to him tomorrow."

"Fine," she agreed grudgingly. "But I still don't really understand the part where you claim everything's okay now. I know my dad, and I know you. You're not exactly the poster boys for 'forgive and forget,' especially…" she trailed off, not wanting to finish the sentence out loud.

"Especially where you're concerned?" Jack guessed. He shrugged and glanced away, then said, "Teal'c had a lot to do with it. On both ends, I'm guessing. But there's not a lot to tell here, Sam. I explained the phone call and everything he'd overheard and misinterpreted, and he believed me."

She narrowed her eyes and said, "Hmm. You're really not going to tell me. Well, I guess I'll have to ask Teal'c tomorrow. I just can't believe he wouldn't say anything to me about it first. I mean, he's done this kind of ridiculous thing before when I was a teenager but I thought… I guess I thought we were closer now." She looked down at her hands sadly, shaking her head.

"You are. You know that."

She nodded. "We are, you're right, I know. Still. I guess some things just don't change."

He left her to her own thoughts for a few moments before offering a quiet, "Hey." His hand landed on her forearm again and he realized she was getting chilly - she actually had goose bumps. He wasn't surprised - he liked to keep his bedroom pretty cold while he slept, and she was always a little bit colder than he was anyway. "Come here."

"I am here," she pointed out, but she stretched back out next to him anyway as she said it and as he reached down for the covers that she'd 'killed' and pulled it back up to cover them both. There was still a good foot of space between them, and he wasn't touching her at all, but they still both couldn't help thinking they really shouldn't be this close together, both under the covers of the same bed, without a toddler or other similar buffer between them, particularly in light of the way Jack had apparently spent the better part of his day defending last night's sleeping arrangements to his CO and her father.

Sam also couldn't help the little flutter as the thought occurred to her and she realized that yes, all that was true, but at the moment, she really couldn't care less. There was respecting rules, and then there was taking them so literally that it was just ridiculous, after all. And while her father may not have appreciated the distinction, General Hammond obviously did. Enough that he'd trusted them both enough to put them in charge of Danny together.

She turned on her side so they were facing each other, and said quietly, "I was just thinking about how right you were."

"That's got to be a first," Jack quipped.

"I mean about Danny. What you said before. I _am _going to miss him. A lot. And… as much as I love the Daniel Jackson we've always known… there's… it would just be really, really great if there were a way we could have them both."

"Yeah," Jack agreed. "I had forgotten how much fun having a little kid around is. Sam, if he could never be changed back, would you really want to adopt him?"

"Well of course. He loves all of us way too much for us to send him to some anonymous people somewhere and he's _Daniel… _it just wouldn't be right not to take care of him."

"What about all that stuff you said in the car though?"

"What stuff?"

"On the way back from the dinosaur place. About not being able to do a good enough job at the SGC and being a parent if you tried to do them both at once."

She thought for a moment and said, "All that's true. But it's like when Janet adopted Cassie. Sometimes there's only one right choice to make even if the circumstances aren't what you'd have considered ideal, and you just make it work as best you can, right?"

"Yeah," he said quietly, now lost in his own thought. He knew Sam was talking about being willing to make drastic changes to her career for the sake of a family, but he couldn't help but apply her words to the opposite - and unfortunately more real, for now at least, scenario.

She was speaking hypothetically, and he knew that she'd do what she said in a heartbeat, but the reality was that wasn't the situation they were in. So, for the time being, wouldn't it still be the right choice to just leave everything as it was and get on with their jobs, and lives, as best they could? He really wasn't entirely sure, but as he'd told Jacob, when it came to the whole personal sacrifices for professional duties thing, he just deferred to Sam's judgment and went along with whatever she wanted… even if the circumstances weren't ideal.

"Jack?" she prompted gently, when he'd been staring with unfocused eyes for several moments and started to look about as depressed as she was currently feeling. "Are you… okay?"

"Yeah. Just thinking about what you said."

For some reason, she suddenly got it into her head that maybe he was thinking that in the hypothetical situation she'd just laid out, _he _would want to adopt Danny, and was upset that she'd just assumed he'd let her have him without a fight. After all, while Danny was obviously extremely fond of her, Jack was the one with actual experience at being a parent… And even though she knew it was a completely moot point, she started crying. She wasn't normally much of a crier, especially when it was for herself, but she was tired, and already starting to feel all sorts of conflicting emotions about saying goodbye to Danny to get their Daniel back…

"What's wrong?" Jack asked, looking baffled and alarmed - if crying in general was an unusual occurrence for her, doing it in front of him was even more rare. Partly because it wasn't really very USAF-Officer-like to cry in front of your CO, but also just because she knew, from what limited experience she'd had in similar situations, that it really, really disturbed him.

"I just… it's… stupid."

"If you're crying about it, it's not stupid," he said simply.

"Most of it's just because I'm thinking about losing Danny like we really _will, _but I was just thinking about how… how it would be if he stayed like this and… and we both wanted him."

"You mean we both wanted to adopt him?" he asked, surprised.

"Yeah."

Now he looked even more confused. "Why would that be so terrible?"

"Well, because if we both wanted him one of us would have to lose and…"

"Or not."

"What?"

"Aren't you supposed to be the resident genius? You're missing the simplest solution, Major-Doctor."

"What do you mean?"

"Easy. We could _both _adopt him."

"We… what?"

"Yeah, it's this crazy idea where some children are allowed to have _two _parents."

"Parents?"

"Parents, caregivers, legal guardians, whatever."

"Oh."

They lapsed into silence, both giving each other contemplative looks. Jack was more than a little bit hurt that she'd immediately assumed Danny would have to go to one or the other of them. Even if she didn't want him to be part of her hypothetical family in any sort of legal definition, she'd taken it a step further by implying that he'd actually get into a fight with her over guardianship of Danny - it made his hypothetical self look pretty selfish and harsh… not to mention stupid and arrogant.

What sort of insane judge would rather give a kid to him than to Sam? Was that how she really thought he'd react to such a situation? He knew she was tired and emotional and not thinking like she normally did but it still stung. A lot.

Then again… if she thought he'd actually stand a chance at putting up any real sort of fight, that had to mean she thought he'd be a decent candidate, right? And maybe it was just another reflection of some lingering insecurities - those things that he still didn't understand how they could possibly exist in her head, yet seemed to be there nevertheless. As far as he was concerned, his 2IC was just about as close to perfect as you could get… which he had always imagined would be really annoying to be around. It _so _wasn't though… maybe just because she seemed so completely unaware of how unusually gifted she was. Regardless, experiences like they'd had when she'd insisted on taking Danny home from the base alone that first night had shown him that Janet was right: Sam was no stranger to self-doubt and was definitely her own harshest critic, which made those accompanying feelings very real, even if he considered them to be completely unfounded and ridiculous.

Still, if that was how she was thinking now, then maybe he didn't need to be taking all this so personally - it would mean it wasn't about him at all, it was about her. Now he was just confused. Which often happened around her. But when it did, he usually just waited until she explained herself again in a way he could understand. This wasn't something he could very well ask her to demonstrate with fruit or a quick sketch though, so once again, he was back to confused.

Sam, for her part, was also confused. When he'd said they could both adopt Danny, both be his parents, she'd thought he'd finally been about to bring up all the unspoken issues this entire situation had been fostering. The 'could we really do this?' ones she'd tried to think about as little as possible - it was a futile line of thinking that would only, she knew, leave her frustrated with the decisions they had both repeatedly made. Decisions that Jack's account of his conversation with Hammond and her dad had only underlined, no matter how nonspecific and causal he'd tried to be during all of that. On the one hand, she'd been terrified he was finally going to address the situation directly. On the other, she'd been momentarily relieved.

Then he'd added the various legal terms so lightly, even throwing in 'whatever' at the end, that now she just felt stupid. Of course Danny could have two guardians. It didn't mean those two people had to be in a relationship with each other, or even live under the same roof. And of course he wouldn't risk all the problems it would cause to their working relationship and friendship by fighting a custody battle with her for an age-regressed former teammate. Danny would simply continue being _their _responsibility, it didn't necessarily mean Jack was proposing altering anything else about… anything else.

And none of it mattered anyway - the whole reason they were even talking about this now was because she'd woken him up to tell him she'd figured out how to get Daniel back to normal… which she still hadn't actually gotten around to _doing _just yet.

Despite the fact that they were both vastly misconstruing the other's intentions, they each came to a silent truce for the time being, each wanting to avoid having to be the one to actually start a real, non-obfuscated conversation about their feelings. Now probably wasn't the time - and it certainly wasn't the place. "So…" Jack finally said. "Now that we've established that we can't keep the little guy, how do we get our Daniel back?"

"Well, that's the thing," Sam said, seizing on the topic gratefully, the initial excitement she'd had when she hurried into his bedroom to wake him returning. "Remember the list of symbols nobody could identify?"

"Vaguely. In that I remember there _was _a list."

"Well, it's got forty-six symbols on it. But only ten of those appear on the top line of text. The rest are on the bottom. The top ten are all in a row in a seemingly random order. But I don't think it's random at all. I think they're numbers, 0-9. It's a countdown, from 30-0. I should have realized it sooner but they didn't bother to put any sort of space between, so it looked like an inventory number or something… anyway, I think Daniel dialed the box back to zero. It opened up, he crawled inside and he got changed."

"And explain to the slower students in the class how you got to that," Jack requested, pointing to himself just in case she needed help identifying the 'slower students.'

"Okay. Whoever built this trunk is most likely a recent ancestor of the Furlings, who were part of the alliance of the four races: Nox, Furling, Asgard, and Ancient. Now, we know the Nox live for a long time without technological assistance. And Thor once told me that before they developed their cloning procedures, the average lifespan of the Asgard was two and a half times that of humans. And we know the Tok'ra and Goa'uld can live for hundreds of years even without the sarcophagus, in a single host. So it's reasonable to assume that the Furlings could have a longer lifespan as well. I'm guessing three hundred years or so."

"Why 300?"

"The trunk is in base 10 math, the dial starts at thirty. I think it's increments are in decades. The writing on that trunk is microscopic. I bet Daniel was just tracing the line and he accidentally reset it to zero, to the first decade of his own life, from zero years to ten. I'm also guessing that the since the device can work on humans as well as Furlings or whoever, that it compensated for the time when human babies are completely dependent on another person.

What I mean is, if the device was created for the purposes I've already said, the minimal age it would set you back to wouldn't be a newborn. That would be an ineffective use of time and energy. But the younger a brain is the more readily it can absorb information, so they would want to get the person as young as possible before transferring whatever database of knowledge they used, while making sure they retained some minimal level of self-sufficiency: mobility, basic speech, et cetera."

"Okay. So do we just dial it back up?"

"Well, that's a little more complicated," Sam admitted. "But it shouldn't take much longer for me to figure out how to reverse it now that we can guess what actually happened to him. I need to be back in the lab to be sure, but I think the reversal is going to be a little bit trickier."

"Isn't it always," Jack said, because she seemed to be waiting for him to weigh in somehow. He leaned up and peered over her at Danny, who was stumbling into the room sleepily, rubbing his eyes with one fist and holding Toppy with his other hand. "Hey little buddy, what are you doing up?"

"I scawed in dere awone," Danny admitted, stopping at the side of the bed where Sam was. "Sam you weft me."

"I'm sorry, Danny," she said, suddenly full of guilt at the hurt look in the little boy's eyes. "I thought you were sleeping and wouldn't mind if I came in here for a while to talk to Jack."

"Were you scawed too? Dat why you needed Dack?" he guessed.

"Um, no. I just had something important to talk about with him," Sam explained.

"Me?" Danny asked hopefully, pointing to himself.

They both laughed. "Actually, yes, it was about you," Sam said, pulling him up onto the bed with them.

He gave a huge yawn and leaned over Sam, holding out both arms towards Jack, who scooted closer and hugged the little guy. "Dack you saved me and Sam in da baff AND you finded Toppy when he was wost. I not scawed now."

"Good, because it is way past time for everyone in this house to be sound asleep," Jack said in a falsely-stern tone. "How's an old man supposed to keep up with you kids if you won't even let him get a decent night's sleep, huh?"

Danny giggled as Sam said, "Oh please. You're not old."

"He hads gway hair dough I fink he's kinda old, Sam," Danny pointed out.

"Hey!" Jack objected, poking the little boy's tummy playfully. "I've got combat boots older than you, kid, show some respect."

Danny obviously didn't know what 'respect' was, but he took a guess and offered a cheerful, "Sowwy Dack," along with a kiss that proved Danny drooled liberally in his sleep. He wriggled his way back over Sam, who was still laughing quietly, particularly as Jack wiped his cheek on his pillow and grumbled to himself.

"Night-night Sam," Danny added, kissing her as well before snuggling into her side.

"Oh, Danny, we need to go back to our…"

"Nooooo," he whined/yawned, closing his eyes and falling asleep almost immediately.

"That settles that," Jack commented as he peered over her shoulder at the little boy. "I've never seen Daniel resort to falling asleep in the middle of a conversation to get his way before."

"Actually I'm pretty sure he did it once in the infirmary."

"Really? When?"

"When he had his appendix out. Jan came at him with her penlight for about the sixth time in one day."

Jack laughed quietly. "I'll have to give that a try next time then."

Sam nodded absently, but he could tell he didn't have very much of her attention at the moment. She was obviously thinking about the fact that this was probably the last night she'd be sleeping with Danny curled into her side. Jack as well was reluctant to take his eyes off the little guy… or to be more accurate, it was really both of them he was having trouble with. In addition to having a great time with the kid, Danny had also shown him a side of his 2IC that he'd never really thought he'd get to see - one that it had been quite obvious she hadn't even really thought she had.

Sam sighed and pressed another kiss to the top of Danny's head. "Could you give me a hand please, Jack?"

"With what?"

"Moving Danny. He's on my arm, I can't get up to move him myself…"

"No."

"No?"

"He doesn't want to move."

"But…"

"I don't want either of you to move either," he admitted cautiously.

She was silent for a few moments, trying to decide how to respond. She finally decided to follow Danny's example and laid her head back down on the pillow. "Goodnight then. Again."

"Yeah, I figure you guys can't keep traipsing in here and interrupting my beauty sleep if you're already in here," Jack commented lightly to counterbalance his earlier remark. Then, since it _was _their last night together, most likely, and it had been pretty close to perfect, he leaned over her to kiss Danny's head as well.

Sam smiled at the sight, despite the fact that he was sort of squashing her in the process. She'd caught him kissing and hugging Danny a few times, but he was very discreet about it because it was Daniel, and she knew he was always expecting to be made fun of. It was the first time he ever did it right in front of her. Then he surprised her even more by kissing her cheek next as well. Imitating Danny, he said, "Night-night Sam."

Despite the fact that she had a little boy sleeping peacefully in her arms, and Jack snoring quietly next to her, it was a long time before she finally fell back asleep. She couldn't help thinking that, as happy as she was to have figured out how the trunk worked, she was really, really going to miss not only Danny, but the effect he had had on both of them as well. And, despite the fact that she'd agreed completely with the way Jack had handled the situation with her father and General Hammond, the truth of the matter was that she was going to miss all of this, a lot more than she was supposed to.


	42. A Break and the Return of the Cake

A/N: The last one, with the update and how sad it was, seemed terribly cruel to me - I don't like doing that to you guys. So I really wanted to get this one up today as well. Unfortunately the chapter as I wrote it was about twenty pages long, which was just too much, so I had to split it in sort of a strange place. But I like to think of this one as a nice big inhale before the final stretch.

Ch 42: A Break and the Return of the Cake

"What on earth are you doing?" Sam asked as she entered the kitchen.

Jack turned around quickly, hoping he didn't look as guilty as he felt. "I'm ah… taking the cake. With us."

She looked baffled. "Why?"

"Teal'c!" Jack exclaimed. "I wanted to… to share it with him. You know, since he was stuck working all night with your dad while we got to have fun here. But I'm only giving him _one _piece. The rest is mine."

"Oh. Okay. Listen, have you seen Danny's shoe? He's almost ready to go but we're missing one."

"Which one?" he asked curiously.

"The right… why?"

He shrugged. "Nope. I haven't seen it." He finished transferring the cake to the Tupperware container, secured it in the diaper bag, and went to the fridge to get Danny's sippy cup of juice. "Sam?" he called over his shoulder with a chuckle. "I found the shoe!"

"How the hell did it get in the refrigerator?" Sam wondered as he tossed the little shoe to her.

"No idea, but we're going to be late."

"Not if you let me drive!" she called as she hurried out of the kitchen to find Danny and tell him he could call off the search for his missing shoe.

The good thing about oversleeping and having to get yourself and a toddler ready to go in twenty minutes, Sam thought as she sat down on the floor and pulled Danny in her lap to help him with his shoe, was that they were all moving way too fast to stop and think about the fact that this could easily be their last morning with Danny… and her last morning at her CO's house by extension.

Well, there was _barely _time to think about it. "Hey my shoe is coooooode," Danny exclaimed, hugging his arms and shivering for dramatic effect.

Sam laughed and velcroed it shut anyway. "It'll only be cold for a second, sweetie," she promised, setting him on his feet and getting to hers.

"Why?"

"Because your body temperature will warm it right up. Now, go get Toppy…"

"Got him," Jack called, tossing the dinosaur to her on his way to the front door. "Let's go."

vvvvvvvvvvvvv

Everyone was already waiting in Daniel's lab by the time Jack, Danny, and Sam hurried into the room, the two adults a bit out of breath after hurrying through the base carrying Danny and their things. "Hi everybody. Sorry we're late," Sam apologized collectively to her dad, General Hammond, and Teal'c as they entered.

"Tea!" Danny exclaimed happily, squirming to be put down.

"Don't worry about it, Major. I hear you've made yet another breakthrough," Hammond said as Sam set Danny on his feet and he ran over to Teal'c and threw his arms around Teal'c's legs as far as they would go. "I misted you Tea!"

"Indeed? I trust you had an enjoyable evening."

"Yup. I wearned to wite, I maked you a pitcher. One for you too, Gen… Gen…"

"General," Sam supplied, rummaging in the diaper bag for said pictures, despite the fact that it was still on Jack's arm.

"Wight. Gen'wall. I maked you one too Gen'wall. And for da doc too… where is da doc?"

"She's probably in the infirmary poking people in the a…"

"Colonel," Hammond and Sam both said at the same time.

"In the… area that… usually gets… the shots," he finished lamely.

"Good one," Sam muttered quietly to him as she found the pictures Danny had made and handed them to him so he could pass them around.

"Wow, he really did write our names," General Hammond said, clearly impressed. He tilted the picture so Jacob could see it, as his friend was trying to look over his shoulder at the drawing.

"Sam teached me," Danny said proudly.

"I will be honored to display this picture proudly in my quarters," Teal'c said seriously. "Thank you, young Danny."

"You welcome, Tea. I did wots of udder fun stuff too wast night. Dack wouldn't wet me watch da piggy movie an we watched his instead."

"Something appropriate for a small child, I hope, Colonel," Hammond said.

"Of course, sir."

"Dere was wots of singing and dancing."

"Oh really?" Hammond asked, amused. "In one of your movies, Jack?"

"Yup!" Danny reported. "I forget da name dough. Dack?"

"Huh? Oh, the movie. The Wizard of Oz."

"Yeah, dat's what we watched. And we maked dinner. Sam maked yummy dinner an I helped woll up da twiangles an-den we all had a baff!"

The three bald men looked to the two officers for an explanation. "Uh, Danny had a bath," Jack said, clearing his throat.

"We just supervised," Sam said quickly.

"You fell in wiff me dough Sam memember?" Danny prompted. "And Dack had to save us boff from getting more boo-boos."

"Er, yeah. I remember."

After a few moments where all the adults tried willing themselves to be somewhere far away from the awkward conversation they'd inadvertently landed themselves in, Hammond quickly said, "Well, as interesting as your night seems to have been, I hear you have some more important news to tell us, Major?"

"Yes sir," Sam said immediately. "It's about the trunk… only, before I go into all that, I'd like to have a word with my father, please." She was smiling sweetly, until she turned her attention from General Hammond to her father, who looked baffled for several moments as to why his daughter was suddenly giving him a severe look he hadn't seen in a very long time.

He glanced at Jack for an explanation, but Jack had slunk his way over to Teal'c and was keeping Danny in front of him with a hand on each of the little boy's shoulders.

"Sam, I'm sure whatever it is can wait until after we get to work on the trunk," Jacob said, quickly figuring out that his daughter now knew about the little meeting they'd had yesterday. He wasn't surprised she found out about it, but he _was _surprised she wanted to talk about it before they dealt with the trunk situation.

"Actually, Dad, no it can't," Sam said firmly. She turned back to everyone else. "Would you excuse us please."

Jack nodded and steered Danny towards the door in front of him, Teal'c nodding as well and following closely behind. General Hammond thought about trying to come up with something to say, but decided it was probably best if he just stayed out of it this time. He joined the rest of SG-1 in the hallway, but wasn't fast enough closing the door to avoid hearing the beginnings of a rather loud and colorful discourse issuing from his smartest officer.

Jack's eyes widened and he leaned over and covered Danny's ears with both hands. The little boy looked similarly surprised. Hammond closed the door and said, "Well, I'm glad I'm not in his shoes."

"Uh-oh, he's in biiiiiiiiiig twouble," Danny said in awe when Jack lowered his hands from the boy's ears.

General Hammond chuckled and nodded. "I think you're right, son."

They could still hear loud… discussing… from inside Daniel's lab, but the door was very thick and didn't allow them to distinguish what exactly was being said. "Duice pease Dack," Danny requested politely, patting his leg. Clearly his interest in what was happening in his office was short-lived.

Jack rummaged in the diaper bag, coming across the large cake container first. "Oh, this is perfect, while she's busy… Teal'c, I need you to take care of this." He passed the container to Teal'c, who opened it and peered inside suspiciously.

"You are giving me a partially consumed cake, O'Neill?"

"Yeah."

"For what reason?"

"Because…"

"Sam maked it," Danny said. "It's yucky."

"Shh!" Jack scolded, glancing back at the closed door automatically. He certainly didn't want to be the next one called in there! "You just drink your juice," Jack insisted, picking him up with one arm and sticking the sippy cup directly in his mouth.

"It's not yucky," Jack said to both men, who were looking very amused - if you knew how to look for it. "It's just… look it's a long story. Bottom line is, as far as Carter knows I brought this delicious cake up here to share with you today. Now, you're going to make it all go away, got it?"

"I shall see to it immediately, O'Neill," Teal'c said, nodding and heading off down the hallway.

Jack and Hammond watched him get on the elevator and turned to look at each other. "Burnt on the bottom?" Hammond guessed.

Jack shook his head. "Raw in the middle."

"You eat it anyway?"

"Yes, sir."

"Good man." Hammond clapped him on the shoulder and said, "I'll be in my office. Call me when we're ready to begin."

"Yes sir."

Jack watched Hammond get on the elevator, and turned to Danny, whom he was still holding in one arm. "And then there were two."

"I'm two," Danny offered, holding up two fingers as well.

"Yes, you are," Jack said with a laugh, setting him down. "Let's get comfortable little buddy. We might be here a while." He sat down against the wall pulled a bouncy ball out of the diaper bag. Rolling it back and forth for a few moments, he turned to Danny and asked, "Hey, want to play fetch?"

vvvvvvvvvvvvvv

Janet Fraiser stepped off the elevator with Teal'c, carrying a folded pair of adult-sized BDUs and a blanket. "Doc, watch out!" Jack called loudly, just as she slipped on something and felt herself falling.

Teal'c grabbed her with one arm and stopped her from falling easily, setting her on her feet and keeping a hand on her arm to steady her. Heart beating rapidly, she said, "Thanks Teal'c. I'm okay." She looked down at her feet, where Danny was now crawling around her legs. He scrambled to his feet with a ball held proudly in one hand - one she recognized from having confiscated it from Colonel O'Neill in the infirmary. Several times, as a matter of fact. He must have 'liberated it' from her desk again.

"Hi doc!" Danny greeted with a cheerful grin.

"Hi Danny. What are you doing?"

"Chasin da ball. Here Dack!" Danny called loudly, throwing it back down the corridor, where it bounced and rolled its way almost back to Jack.

"You okay?" Jack asked as she and Teal'c followed Danny to meet Jack halfway.

"Thanks to Teal'c," Janet said, nodding. "And no thanks to you. I told you I was taking that ball away from you because it was dangerous."

"You said it was dangerous to _me, _if I recall."

"Yes, and it still is. I'll be thinking about this little incident the next time you're in for a shot. Speaking of which, Teal'c told me you're close to getting… the situation reversed so I wanted to make sure to supervise."

"Well, right now we're waiting for Carter to finish putting Dad in his place… wait a second, where did you run into Teal'c?"

"She was in the commissary when I went to procure a fork," Teal'c explained, handing Jack the Tupperware container.

Jack opened it and peered inside in disbelief. Apart from a few crumbs and icing smears, it was completely empty. "You _ate _all of this?"

"Was that not what you intended when you gave it to me?"

"Ah… not exactly. I kind of thought you'd just toss it."

"And tell Major Carter I consumed it? That would be dishonest."

"Yeah but… you really ate the whole thing?"

"Indeed. It was most satisfying."

"Wait a second, somebody tell me what I missed," Janet interrupted as the door to Daniel's lab opened and Sam emerged.

She glanced at all of them quickly and said, "Hey guys."

"Done?" Jack asked. She nodded. "Dad?"

"Owes you an apology."

"Written or verbal?"

Sam laughed. "I didn't specify. Hey, what's going on?" Her eyes stopped on the empty container Jack was holding.

Thinking quickly, he said, "Teal'c ate _all _the rest of your cake!"

"Already?" Sam asked, surprised, but pleased nonetheless. She smiled at Teal'c. "I guess you liked it?"

"I did indeed. It was most delicious, Major Carter. Very… moist. I apologize for not leaving any for the rest of you."

"That's okay," Janet said quickly.

"Yeah, I'll let it go this once, Teal'c, but you'd better get Danny to teach you about _sharing, _big guy," Jack said, pretending to be mad that he hadn't got any more cake.

"I shall be sure that you get as much as you deserve in the future, O'Neill," Teal'c said, making it sound suspiciously like a threat - at least to Jack.

Danny opened his mouth to say something. Thinking he might be about to spoil the whole cake conspiracy, Jack said, "I bet you want to give the doc the picture you made for her last night, don't you Danny boy?"

"Yeah!"

"All right, go find it, it's in your bag." He shooed Danny off towards where the diaper bag was parked. Janet went with him.

Jack smiled at Sam and tried to peer into the lab. "What did you do to him?"

"Nothing," she said innocently. "I just had a few choice words with him."

"Yeah, and all of us - Danny included - heard a few of those choice words. They weren't exactly rated G, were they?"

She shrugged. "We're all okay now."

"Really?"

"Yeah… where's General Hammond?"

"In his office. Go call him and tell him the coast is clear, and let's get Take 2 of this under way while some of us are still young. And… since some of us are still a lot younger than they're supposed to be."

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv


	43. Trunk Trials

A/N: Longer, pseudo-technical... not so funny, in my opinion, but I had to start the contrived explanation at some point...

Ch 43: Trunk Trials

After Sam had explained her theory about the way Daniel had first activated the trunk, General Hammond, along with everyone else, was very impressed.

"Selmak is kicking himself for not making that connection sooner," Jacob said. "We were so bogged down with translating the text…"

"Hey, I'm the one who should have noticed this right away…" Sam started.

"All right," Jack interrupted both of them. "Let's all stop blaming ourselves for doing good work for and get this show on the road."

"Yes, sir," Sam agreed. "I just need to compare the numbers on the bottom line of text to the top and see if I can make anything of the other unidentified symbols. I think we could probably shrink somebody else at this point, if we wanted to, but let's make sure we can reverse the process before going that far."

"All right, Major. Do you have a time frame or…"

"Actually," Sam interrupted, her eyes lighting up. "I had an idea, and what you just said about having a time frame made it click into place, General. Teal'c, can you access the MALP readings from the planet where the trunk was discovered?"

Teal'c nodded and swiveled around on his stool to the computer. He typed in the criteria she'd specified and said, "Here it is."

"Thanks…" She peered over his shoulder at the monitor and scanned several lines of text quickly. "Exactly what I thought I remembered!"

"What?" Jack asked, peering over her shoulder curiously, so that all the adult members of SG-1 were huddled over the same monitor. Danny was watching them, observing all the action of the adults around him with interest, wondering what could have them so intrigued.

"This planet has three suns sir," Sam said, pointing to the screen.

"Get out of town," Jack said sarcastically.

She smiled patiently and said, "Their year is based on thirty-six months, not twelve like ours... and there are thirty-six unidentified symbols left on that trunk."

"So you think the bottom is a calendar?"

"Partially, yes. Half of it's covered in warnings! It's reasonable to assume that the creators devised a way to reverse its effects completely, not just fix it as best as they could. Which, if a dial forwards or back to a ten year period is your only option, it would be pretty hard to do. I think… what if the device knows Danny now, because he's used it. It knows how old he is now and how old he's supposed to be. Then all we should have to do would be to tell the trunk which day it is today, and that's it. All I have to do is figure out how our solar calendar compares to theirs."

"Yeah, piece of cake," Jack said incredulously.

"These are all just assumptions, Sam," Jacob interrupted. "They're good, but you can't know this for certain. I think we should continue translating the trunk in its entirety and then make an assessment of the risks…"

"Dad, you're the one who's been working non-stop at this thing, now you want to relax and forget about it?"

"That was… different," Jacob muttered. Sam couldn't help but notice that he still had something of a whipped-puppy look about him, and was inwardly pleased that he hadn't just blown off their earlier conversation. "And of course I'm not saying that we should just forget about it, but we don't want to go rushing into anything either."

"Nobody's going to let Danny anywhere near the thing until we're sure it's safe," Jack said firmly, tightening his hand around the little boy's shoulder.

"Agreed, Colonel," General Hammond said. "Major, you do what you need to do and let me know when you have something to report."

"Yes, sir."

He nodded at them all and left. "Major Carter, would you like us to relocate our research to this lab instead of your own?" Teal'c asked.

"Yes, that would be extremely helpful, thank you Teal'c."

"I'll help you," Jacob said immediately, as they too left.

Jack looked around and said, "I guess we should make ourselves useful too, Danny boy. Uh… want some coffee, Carter?"

"That would be great, sir, thank you."

Jack went over to Daniel's coffee pot and set about brewing a pot. Sam crouched down next to the trunk and peered at the line of writing through a powerful lens, looking for the specific spot that she had theorized was the 'dial.'

"Whatcha doin', Sam?" Danny asked, leaning into her arm to try to see what she could find so interesting in an old box.

"Just… looking at something."

"What?"

"I'm… not sure. Ah, there it is." She touched the line lightly and jumped back as the left side of the trunk slid open.

"Wow!" Danny exclaimed.

Jack turned quickly, in time to see the trunk open and glowing from the inside, and Sam pulling Danny away from the thing, as he was trying to crawl inside to inspect it. "Carter! What the hell…" He set the coffee pot down and hurried over to them, frowning as she pulled Danny aside and crouched down as though to get inside for a closer look herself.

"Don't even think about it," he said firmly, wrapping an arm around her waist and hauling her up off the floor. With her out of the way, Danny made another dive for the trunk. Jack grabbed him with the other arm. "_Either _of you," he added. The trunk slid closed again, so he relaxed slightly.

"You know, for geniuses, you two do some of the dumbest things I've ever seen," he commented, releasing his 2IC and plunking Danny down on top of the workbench.

"Well, we can't let Danny try it out untested, sir, and I wasn't going to get all the way in it, just get a closer look…"

"And exactly how many times has _that _bit us on the ass?" Jack asked.

"Ummmm," Danny said, pointing at Jack.

"Well, we know now that I was right about opening it…"

"Yes. But you're not going to be very helpful with the whole calendar thing if you're back in diapers."

"Fine."

He raised both eyebrows. She blushed slightly and said, "I mean, yes sir."

"Good. Now, once again,NO touching the alien device without permission._Anybody_. Andjust to be sure, I'm going to keep an eye on this trunk at all times. _And _the two of you." He set Danny back on the ground, squeezed between both of them, and sat down on top of the trunk, crossing his arms to further emphasize his point.

Sam was about to point out that that really wasn't necessary when her dad and Teal'c entered again, carrying arm-fulls of files and texts.

"We've been working on a section that talks about the growing seasons and rotation of the planets, so that should be useful," Jacob said.

"And last night we found a passage warning that the person who opens the trunk must be the person who enters it, or the consequences… will not be pretty," Teal'c informed them, after noticing how closely young Danny was listening and determining it would not be wise to inform such a small boy of the grisly effects such a mistake could incur.

As Teal'c spoke, Danny had decided to start playing catch with Jack again - without informing Jack. The ball bounced off the floor, then off Jacob's leg, before skittering off into a corner. As Danny crawled under a table after it, Jacob said, "I don't think he needs to be in here during this part."

"This shouldn't take long, he can stay," Sam said quickly, not wanting to miss any more time with the toddler than she had to.

"Besides, it is _his _lab," Jack pointed out, drumming his heels against the base of the trunk absently. As Teal'c had to dodge the bouncy ball next, then avoid tripping over Danny, then gave Jack a pointed look, Jack added, "Maybe you ought to put the ball away though, little buddy. Go find something else in that bag of yours."

Danny went over to the bag and pulled out his crayons, got some paper from Teal'c, and sat down on the floor near Jack to draw. Jack watched, amused, as he tried to remember all the things he'd learned to write the day before. It wasn't as easy without something to look at… he got S-A-M easily enough, but the longer they were, the harder. Teal'c's apostrophe seemed to float around, sometimes landing in other people's names as well, and he often forgot how many N's were in his own name, so that it was frequently either Dany, Dannny, or Dnany.

Frowning, because he could tell when they didn't look right, he finally begged, "Dack help me, pease!"

"All right calm down. Hand me a Crayon."

vvvvvvvvvvvv

"I've got it!" Sam exclaimed in disbelief, setting her pencil down. There it was, in a nice neat row of calculations.

She looked up, smiling at everyone. "I've got it. This is today's date according to their system. We can enter it on the bottom line of the trunk and… everything should be back to normal." She rested a hand on Danny's head lightly, unable to keep the sadness completely out of her eyes, despite the fact that she was thrilled to have finally figured it out.

"I'll call General Hammond and the doc," Jack said quietly, reaching for the phone. Danny looked back and forth between them, wondering why they looked so sad all of a sudden. Then he glanced at Teal'c and Jacob, who looked serious, but not as sad. He inched closer to Sam and leaned into her leg as they both watched Jack on the phone.

Ten minutes later, Janet and General Hammond were back. Sam was holding Danny, who was being uncharacteristically quiet and cuddly for this time of the morning, although she was glad that he was letting her hold him.

"I want to try it on me first," Sam and Jack both said simultaneously as General Hammond turned to Sam for a report.

They looked at each other, having a silent battle of wills. Before Hammond could make a decision, Teal'c said, "I will test the device."

"Teal'c, I don't think it would even work for you. These people were enemies of the Goa'uld, who knows what it could do to you," Sam said quickly. "Remember Thor's Hammer?"

"And I'm not even sure you could get all the way in there either, big guy," Jack said.

"Nevertheless, I would like to see if I can at least activate the device."

General Hammond nodded his assent. Sam had made chalk marks above the places where the relevant writing began, just so it was easier to locate with the magnifying glass. Teal'c quickly located the 'dial' and ran his fingertip along it. Nothing happened. He tried once more, with the same results.

"It does not appear to work on someone who possesses a symbiote."

"That rules me out," Jacob said. "And Sam, you've got naquadah in your blood, so just to be safe…"

"It already opened for me," Sam interrupted dismissively.

"What?" Jacob and General Hammond both asked sharply.

She smiled sheepishly. "I just opened it, I didn't go anywhere near it…"

Jack rolled his eyes and turned to General Hammond. "General, we're all in agreement here that someone's got to try it out, both ways, before we put… you know who… in there. Bottom line, it's going to be me."

"Sir, there's no reason why I can't…" Sam started.

"There are lots of reasons why you can't," he said. "One important reason, you're holding." He nodded at Danny. "If something goes wrong, you need to be around to keep working on it _and _to stay with him. Two, just because it opened for you doesn't mean it might not detect the naquadah once you're in there and do something… bad. Three…"

"Sir, I'm the one who figured it out. If I'm wrong, I don't want someone else to be responsible for my mistake," she said firmly.

"I trust you, Carter, I'm sure you did it right. I'm sure everybody else is too."

"Then if you don't believe anything bad's going to happen, what's the problem with me doing it?"

"I… well… General?" Jack turned to the base leader for help.

Hammond looked at them both and finally said, "I'm sorry, Major Carter. I have to agree with Colonel O'Neill on this one."

Sam clearly looked like she wanted to object further, but she scarcely argued flat-out with General Hammond's decisions. "Yes, sir," she finally said reluctantly. "But… I have a suggestion. We should only dial it back to three or four, so the Colonel will still be an adult. Just in case… he wouldn't have to grow up all over again."

"I wasn't aware that Colonel O'Neill had fully grown up yet once, Major," Hammond joked. Jacob laughed, and Jack gave a sarcastic smile while discreetly putting his bouncy ball away, but Sam clearly wasn't in the mood to find anything funny about this situation.

"Carter… will I remember who I am though?" Jack asked, confused.

"I don't know. Since Danny's so small it's been hard to tell if he has his normal memories up to two and a half, or what… but it only goes in decades, so the minimum we could rewind is ten years, which was before you knew any of us, so…"

"Yeah. See, wouldn't it be a lot easier on everybody if you just shrink me to Danny's age. Otherwise I'll be asking what the hell's going on and you'll have to explain it all to me before you reverse it."

"I guess that's true," Sam said. "But… what if we can't… I don't really think it's worth the risk just to make it a little more convenient." She gave up trying to convince him and turned to General Hammond instead. "Sir, if the reason you're not letting me be the one trying the trunk is because you consider me an asset to this program, then doesn't it also make sense to ensure that even if something goes wrong you might still be able to incorporate Colonel O'Neill into this command?"

He nodded. "I'm sorry, Jack, but I have to agree with Major Carter now. If you don't want to try the device under these circumstances, we'll ask someone else to volunteer."

"Sir, I'll…" Janet and Sam both started.

Jack cut them both off. "I'll still do it. Teal'c, why don't you take Danny to play in the VIP suite so he doesn't… have to be bored by the goings-on in here."

Teal'c looked reluctant to leave, understandably. "I'll make sure you know if anything goes wrong, Teal'c," Janet said quietly.

"Thank you, Dr. Fraiser," Teal'c said quietly, picking up the diaper bag and holding out his hands to Danny. "Come, young Danny. We will seek entertainment elsewhere."

Danny could sense that something was up. Sam was holding him very close and seemed sad and a little scared. He shook his head and hid his face in Sam's shirt, refusing to go to Teal'c. "I think he sort of knows what's going on and he's not happy about it," she said, rubbing his back. "It's okay, Danny. Don't you want to go play? You've still got lots of fun toys here, and I bet Teal'c will take you to the gym to play if you want…"

"Nooooo," Danny whined, holding onto her tightly.

"That's okay, Danny," Jack said, patting him on the head. "Sam will take you to go play."

"No," Sam and Danny both said - Sam's firm and Danny's whiny.

"He will be fine, I assure you," Teal'c said. "Come, Daniel Jackson."

Expecting that to make him start a full-out fit, they were all surprised when he sniffled and wiped his eyes but nodded. "Kay, Tea. I go wiff you."

Sam kissed him on the forehead and said quietly, "You're such a good boy. You've got nothing to worry about. You go have fun with Teal'c and I'll see you in a little while, okay?"

He nodded, although he didn't look like he fully believed her. He kissed her, right on the mouth, rather messy because he'd been crying, and said, "Bye-bye."

"Bye, Danny. I'll see you in a little while."

He leaned out of Sam's arms to hug Jack round the neck and gave him an equally messy kiss on the cheek as well. Jack tried not to look like he was worried that, if something went wrong, he might not see Danny again… or recognize him when he did. Sam at least knew what he was really thinking as he pet Danny's head for a few moments before moving aside so Sam could hand him to Teal'c.

He watched them go and sighed, then clapped his hands together to try to muster some enthusiasm. "All right. Let's get this show on the road."

"We aren't entirely sure what to expect since we don't know when exactly Daniel activated the trunk, but we do know that he was some distance from it and sleeping when we found him, so…"

"So that's why I'm here," Janet said firmly.

Jack nodded dismissively and said, "All right, see you guys later. Carter, what do I push."

She steered him over to the trunk and muttered, "This sucks," as they crouched down on one side of the trunk. Peering through the lens until she found the exact markings, she said, "Just dial it back to there."

"Where?"

"There, the one with the… here, just to be sure." She leaned over so she could see through the lens with him and said, "Just so you don't go making yourself a toddler on purpose so you can go play with Danny's toys…" She took his hand herself and directed his finger along the dial, jumping slightly when the side of the trunk opened once again.

She had to admit, she had sort of been hoping it wouldn't work for him. "Well… see you folks on the other side then," Jack quipped, waving at all of them. He gave Sam an encouraging smile and slid inside the trunk, his legs sticking out the side.

Everyone held their breath for a few moments, until Jack called, "Nothing's happening!"

"Pull your legs all the way inside, sir," Sam suggested.

"Carter, do I _look_ like a pretzel to you?"

"No sir, but I'm guessing you don't want to accidentally have your legs cut off," Sam said, although of course she had no idea if the device were capable of doing something like that. Still, with them it was usually worst-case scenario, so it was better to be overly-cautious whenever you could.

"All right, fine, but this better take me back to before my knee hurt," he called before his legs disappeared as well.

Sam couldn't help but think of the movie they'd watched the night before - the Wicked Witch of the East's legs curling up under the house… she jumped as the trunk slid closed quickly.

After a few seconds that seemed incredibly long, she started to get worried. "He can't have much air in there," Sam said, moving to open the trunk.

Jacob grabbed her wrist quickly. "You can't activate it while someone else is in there, Sam. It'll be okay, it should just be a couple more…"

The other side of the trunk opened, and everyone hurried to that side. "Colonel?" Sam called.

They could see the top of his head - which was no longer grey, but light brown as it was when she'd first met him. He didn't respond.

Janet reached inside and felt his neck for a pulse. "He's okay. Let's get him out of there though."

Jacob and Sam each grabbed one of his arms and hauled him out of the trunk, sliding him along the floor. He was unconscious, and looked very similar to how he had looked when they'd all met him, although a few years younger even than that. Janet checked his vitals while Hammond called for a full medical team to bring a gurney. "He's okay he just…"

Jack groaned and tried to sit up. Janet and Sam both put a hand on each of his shoulders to keep him laying down. "Don't try to get up, sir," Janet said firmly.

He opened his eyes in confusion, blinking up at them. He focused on Janet first, as she was closer, then on Sam. He gave a small smile, so she sighed in relief, assuming he remembered who they were and where he was. Then he glanced around at everyone else, turned back to Sam, and managed to croak, "Who _are_ you people?" before passing out again, his head thunking loudly against the concrete floor.


	44. Technical Difficulties

A/N: I was tempted, in light of the unfortunate timing coincidence of tonight's Atlantis episode, to save this one until at least tomorrow. Ah well, it's not like everybody's doesn't end up using amnesia at some point or another, right?

Ch 44: Technical Difficulties

"Crap," Sam said as Janet quickly started checking the unconscious Colonel's vitals again.

"Well, I guess you were right about him losing memories," Jacob commented.

"Yeah, I'm really starting to hate being right all the time," Sam muttered to herself as Janet finished her exam. "Is he okay?"

"I think so. Just knocked out."

"Actually…" Sam began hopefully. "If he's okay physically, it would probably be easier to try and switch him back now, while he's out of it. That way we won't have to explain anything to him while he doesn't recognize any of us…"

Hammond thought for a moment, and turned to his CMO. "Do you think that would be safe?"

Janet shrugged. "I have no idea, sir. I don't see why not, his heart rate is good, pulse is strong. There's nothing physically wrong with him. It's possible he's just unconscious so his brain can have time to catch up to the transformation his body's just undergone… I have no idea."

"The trunk does mention something like a Healing Sleep Stage," Jacob said.

"All right then, Major, if you can reverse the effects now, go ahead."

"Yes, sir," Sam said quickly, scanning the lower line of text.

She found the symbols she needed and said, "Dad, can you help…"

"Sure, Sam, I've got it." It took Jacob and General Hammond to drag the dead weight of one Jack O'Neill back round the side of the trunk.

"Dr. Fraiser, maybe you should tell him to lay off the cake when he comes to," Hammond commented, slightly winded from the effort. Having to stoop over so much made it extra difficult.

Janet laughed and said, "I've been telling him that for years, sir."

Sam picked up his limp hand and pressed his finger to all the appropriate symbols yet again.

Nothing happened.

"Crap," she repeated, sitting back on her heels and letting go of his hand, which flopped onto the floor unceremoniously.

"Are you sure you got the date right?" Jacob asked, going over to the work bench to examine her calculations. "No, that looks right… I guess there's another step…"

"Or maybe the person has to be conscious, so the trunk knows they're doing it intentionally?" Fraiser guessed.

Sam shrugged, dejected. "I was so sure that was it…"

"It's okay, Major," Hammond said, placing a hand on her shoulder comfortingly. "We'll try it again when he wakes up and then… go from there."

vvvvvvvvvvvvv

When Jack O'Neill woke up, the first thing he realized was that he had a terrible headache. The next thing he realized was that there were people talking around him. About him. And something else. Since he hadn't moved or opened his eyes, they had no way of knowing he was awake.

He heard a deep, male voice say, in an overly-formal tone, "He refused to consume his midday meal until I allowed him to see you. He became most insistent. A bowl of macaroni was thrown in protest."

"That explains why Siler just came in with a bruise on his forehead and macaroni in his hair," a woman said quietly, sounding mildly amused, but very tired. "Danny, that was a terrible thing to do."

"I just misted you," a little voice - a very small boy, said next. "Why is Dack sweeping is he sick?"

"No sweetie, not really. He'll be all right really soon, but…" Jack felt the bed shift by his feet, followed by, "Hang on, no climbing, you don't want to wake him…"

"I not waking him. We should sweep wiff him so he won't be scawed or sad. Wike we did."

There was a long silence, followed by another female voice saying, "Sam, what is he…"

"Not now, Janet, please. Danny, now that you've seen we're okay will you please go eat your lunch?"

"I will eat wiff you. In here."

She sighed. "Will you be quiet and not wake him up?"

"I pwomise."

"Okay then… Teal'c, you already brought him a tray?"

"Indeed. I will return after I have eaten my own lunch. Please inform me if there is any change in O'Neill's condition."

"Of course. Thanks."

Jack knew his brain hurt, but he was really, really confused. What kind of a name was Teal'c, exactly? He remembered being awake for a few moments before, earlier, and was guessing the two women who had just been talking were also the two he'd seen hovering over them. Janet seemed like she was the doctor, and the other one - Sam - was… who? His wife? That wasn't exactly right… but it sort of was. She had a kid with her who seemed to be talking about him and just having trouble with the word 'dad,' but that scenario just seemed… off. He didn't know why, it just did.

"Sam, you might as well stop trying to work while he eats or you'll just end up with peanut butter and jelly all over your laptop and those files."

"Fine, Jan. Can you call the lab again and see if my dad has anything new?"

"Sam, I'm sure he'd… all right. I'll go call."

"Thanks."

"Keep Danny out of my cabinets though. Medical gauze is _not _meant to be used to turn little boys into mummies, nor are tongue-depressors to be used as Lincoln Logs."

"Yes, Janet," Sam said in a sing-song voice.

The little boy cheerily called, "Bye-bye doc!" and was promptly shushed, but too late. Jack had chuckled out loud, unable to stop himself.

"Colonel? Are you awake?"

"Unfortunately," Jack groaned, forcing his eyes open - his eyelids felt like they weighed about fifty pounds each. He realized he'd been right about which one was Sam and which one was Janet as he focused his eyes on the very worried-looking woman staring at him.

He studied her carefully, trying to figure out who she was… in general and in relation to him. He knew that he _did _know her… knew her very well, as a matter of fact, and that she was extremely important to him… but for the life of him he couldn't remember anything specific about her at all. The same was true for the boy sitting in her lap, holding half of a partially-eaten sandwich in one hand and regarding him curiously. He had a rush of feelings for both of them but they were all very hard to classify.

He tried to think about it carefully. Objectively. The kid had called him 'Dad,' although it had sounded more like 'Dack.' He had blondish hair and big blue eyes that seemed very intelligent, and he was adorable. He looked like he could easily be the woman holding him's son, which would explain a lot of the feelings he had about her and some of the feelings he had about the boy - there were streaks of paternal concern and pride, but a lot of other things he couldn't put a name to. And some that were more on an equal level, feelings usually associated with a good friend, a brother.

He turned his attention from the boy back to the woman - Sam - who was looking more concerned by the minute. He realized he must have been staring at them both for quite some time, and tried to think of something reassuring to say beyond, "I have no idea who you are - or who I am for that matter. Care to fill me in?"

If these people were his family, it would probably be extremely upsetting to know that he couldn't remember them. Speaking of not remembering… didn't amnesia only happen to people on soap operas and stuff? He decided to just go with her name. "Sam?"

Now she looked about as confused as he was feeling. "Do you remember me?" she asked, sounding surprised.

Well, if she was already _expecting _him to have amnesia… he must have had some sort of bad head injury or something… his head _was _pounding. He fidgeted for a moment and said, "Sort of… I mean, I think I do… I don't know. I'm confused."

"Hi Dack," the little boy offered around a big mouthful of PB&J.

"Hi there little buddy," Jack offered. For some reason, that made Sam tear up like she was going to cry. "Wait, don't… what's the matter, did I…"

The other woman - Janet - reappeared, from another part of the infirmary, along with two other older, bald men - one of whom was clearly the base General. Jack waited impatiently as they all started talking about him like he wasn't there. The doctor started examining him briskly, both men were asking Sam what she'd learned.

Finally, Jack let out an, "Ohforcryinoutloud will someone just tell me what the hell is happening to me?"

"We're trying to figure that out," Sam said, sounding extremely apologetic and guilty. "What's the last thing you remember?"

"You," Jack said plainly.

For some reason, her cheeks turned pink and she glanced away for a moment. "We were in some other room on the base. She was there too." He nodded at Janet. "Actually, you guys were all there, except him." He nodded at Danny. "I came to, saw all you guys, and passed out. Then I woke up here."

"How'd you know my name then?" Sam asked suspiciously. "I woke up when the other guy… Teal'c… came in and talked to you. I heard you talk to him and to… Janet?" The doctor nodded.

"You memember me, don't you Dack?" the little boy asked, looking worried.

Even if this wasn't his own kid, Jack wasn't about to hurt the little guy's feelings. He smiled kindly and said, "Of course I remember you Danny."

"I fought so." Danny nodded confidently and demanded, "You taked my cwayons and fixed your hair, didn't you?"

"What?" Jack asked, completely baffled.

Sam suddenly started laughing. She tried to keep it quiet, but failed miserably, finally erupting in a fit of giggles that had not only Jack, but everyone else in the room looking confused as well. "It's a long story," she finally managed, hugging Danny a little tighter. "I'll… tell you all later."

"Great," Jack dismissed. "First, how about telling me my name."

"You don't know your name?" Janet asked, alarmed.

"Teal'c… weird name, by the way… called me O'Neill, and Sam called me Colonel, so I'm guessing that it's Colonel O'Neill, but I'm also guessing I have a first name."

"Of course you do. It's Jack," Sam said, looking puzzled. "Danny's been saying it for the past ten minutes…"

Jack's shoulders slumped with that realization. "I thought he was saying 'Dad…' so he's not… I mean…" He looked around the room uncomfortably. He wasn't sure why, but he had a very strong feeling he should _not _ask what he'd been about to ask. At least not right now, in front of either man… or the doctor either, although he got the sense that was for a different reason.

"Sir," the doctor said, turning her attention to the General with a business-like tone of voice. "I need to take Colonel O'Neill for an MRI. Why don't you come back when further tests are done, say, two hours?"

Hammond nodded and left, the other man following him. Once the room had emptied somewhat, Janet said, "I'm going to go get a few tests set up and ready for you, Colonel. Danny, why don't you come with me. We can get you all cleaned up and find you some dessert."

"Do you haff cookies?" he asked hopefully.

"Well, we'll have to go check the commissary but I'm guessing we'll be able to find you a cookie, or at least some jell-o."

"There's c-a-n-d-y in my lab if you need it," Sam offered, knowing that adult-Danny didn't particularly care for Jell-o, and they'd never given it to Danny.

"Got it," Janet said, holding a hand out to Danny. "Come on, Danny, let's go."

"Kay Doc." He twisted in Sam's lap and gave her a huge hug, leaving traces of peanut butter and jelly on her shirt, arms, and cheek in the process.

"Thanks, Janet," Sam said quietly as she returned the hug and kissed his head before setting him down, then cleaned up as best she could with a wet nap she pulled out of her pocket as the little boy left with Janet after calling a cheerful goodbye to Jack also.

"So," Sam finally said, twisting the wet nap nervously in her hands and glancing at Jack. "I know you must have a lot of questions and you're probably really confused, but… everything's going to be okay."

He looked even more alarmed now, even though she was trying to be reassuring. "I'm going to fix this," she muttered to herself. "I'm sorry… this is sort of… well, it's all my fault," she admitted, biting her lip.

"I don't really believe that," Jack said thoughtfully, trying to work out _why _he was so sure that wasn't right.

"I will," Sam said defensively. "I just need to figure out…"

"Whoa. I didn't mean I didn't believe you'd fix this, I meant I didn't believe it was all your fault."

"Oh."

"Now. Can you answer a question for me?"

"Sure."

"What was the thing about the crayons and my hair?"

Sam smiled in surprise - that certainly wasn't the first thing she'd want to know about if she were in his shoes! Still, it was an easy one to answer. "Last night we were watching 'The Wizard of Oz' and at the black-and-white part, Danny wanted to use his crayons to color it in and fix it."

"Ah. So this is Oz?"

She laughed. "Close. This is Cheyenne Mountain."

"No kidding," he said quietly. "Colorado, huh. So I'm in the Air Force?"

"You don't remember that?"

"Not really… I mean, I feel like I'm a soldier but I can't remember anything specific. It's… weird."

"I know. I'm sorry. Something… happened to you."

"What?"

"We work here, obviously. And… something happened to Danny, he came into contact with a… device."

"Is he okay?"

"Yes, he's fine, it's just… I thought I'd figured out how to use it to… to fix him. You volunteered to be the guinea pig."

"And it made me forget who I am?"

"Sort of… we knew that was a possible side effect but we wanted… I can fix it, I just need to do a little… tweaking."

"So who _are _we? I mean, is Danny… is he… yours?"

"No," she said carefully.

"Then why were we all watching 'The Wizard of Oz' together last night?"

"That's… a long story. But he's just as much yours as mine." She sighed. "Listen. I probably shouldn't just come right out and say this without General Hammond's permission but… I'll tell you the truth, as simply as I can, okay?"

Jack nodded.

"It's going to sound a little crazy," she warned.

"Sam, I can remember episodes of the Simpsons but I can't even remember who I am. I think crazy is a given at this point. Just… tell me, please."

"Okay. We work here, this facility is called the SGC. We're part of a four-person unit that includes you, me, Teal'c, and… Daniel."

"Daniel… Danny?" he asked, baffled.

"Yes. He's our friend, our teammate. The device that you both used… it shrunk him. We're all really good friends and we've worked together for years, and for the past week we've been taking care of Danny while we tried to figure out the device that made him get younger."

"That explains a lot, actually."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I kind of have these… feelings. I don't really want to talk about them though."

"Well, then things aren't very different from normal after all," she said lightly.

He laughed. "Great. Um, so, when I was trying the device, did it make me younger too?"

"Yes. We had only set it back a decade, just in case something like this happened, so you wouldn't have to grow up all over again."

He nodded. "Okay. So… wait a minute, Danny with the crayons… the black and white movie… are you telling me I'll have grey hair in less than a decade?" Jack asked, looking truly angry for the first time since he'd awoken.

Sam gave him a sympathetic, though not un-amused smile and nodded.

"Well that's just peachy," he grumbled, running a hand through his hair. "Why don't you just catch me up on the last ten years then and I'll just stay like this."

"I don't think so," Sam said quickly. "That is _not _an option."

"But…"

"No. You are not staying regressed a decade just so you can look younger. General Hammond would never approve it, and you look better with grey hair anyway."

"Yeah?" he asked, intrigued.

"Forget I said that," she muttered, turning faintly pink.

"So… I'm still confused."

"I don't blame you, I told you it was a crazy story…"

"No, not about that. I believe you, I'm sure you wouldn't tell me something that's not true, but… why do I sort of know who you guys are, but I don't remember anything specific?"

"Mind stamp," Sam said to herself as the thought occurred to her.

"What? Mind stamp?"

"Yeah… maybe. Sorry, I was just thinking out loud… it could be similar to… once before, we were on a mission and the four of us were exposed to something called a mind stamp that basically made us forget who we were completely, so that we could be given new identities…"

"Tabula rasa?" Jack guessed.

Sam raised an eyebrow. "You obviously don't remember that you usually try to pretend you're not as smart as you are." He shrugged. "Anyway… yes, that's a good way to put it. But in that situation, we all still had the same basic personalities even though we couldn't remember who we were and we were still… we… all four of us were still sort of… drawn together."

He could tell she was being as vague as possible. "What do you mean?"

"I mean we still knew that we knew each other. We still had the same… feelings for each other as always. All of us," she added quickly.

He nodded slowly. "Okay. So… does that explain why I sort of feel responsible for protecting Danny and keeping him safe and all, but I also feel like he frequently pisses me off in a way that no cute little toddler could ever manage to do?"

"Yes. The paternal feeling is probably heightened by how we spent last week with him small, but in a nutshell, yes."

"I knew he wasn't really my son, but… I also know that I did have one. A real one, right? I… I had one."

"Had?" She asked carefully - she'd been wondering if he'd remember Charlie, and terrified that he'd assume he was about Danny's age, as he would have been ten years ago.

"Yeah… I know I used to have a son and a different… I mean a wife - not you - but something terrible happened and I don't anymore. It feels like it was a long time ago," he tried to explain. "So that's why I was confused when I woke up and saw you guys sitting there because it was sort of right but not really."

"Okay," Sam finally offered, trying to be very careful about how they dealt with all of this. Hopefully they'd have him back to normal before the end of the day, so there was no need to put him through the pain of remembering what happened to Charlie again if they could help it. "Why don't we try it this way. I'll tell you things about yourself. You tell me if they're true or not, just based on if they _feel _right or wrong, okay? Like… you're from Houston."

"No."

"New York."

"No."

"Chicago."

"Yes. Why are we doing this?" Jack asked.

"Well to see… what do you mean why?"

"I mean, why don't you just save the explanation and get to fixing me?"

"I just… I mean, don't you want to try to understand what's going on?"

"I trust you," he said simply. "All of you guys, but especially you. I believe you. It would take forever to answer all the tiny questions I've got so let's just leave it at that. Figure out the device and then tell me what I have to do to get back to where I'm supposed to be, and I'll do it."

"That easy?"

He shrugged. "Sure, why not."

"Okay. I'll have them bring in the device then." She got up to go to the phone on the wall.

"Sam?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm your CO, aren't I?" he asked, coming to the conclusion some time ago after she had told him they were on the same unit - one that sounded like a combat unit. He had put off asking because he knew that he was right. It went a long way to explaining why all the feelings he had about her carried a hint of sadness or regret.

"Yes, sir." She gave him a look that seemed to reflect his own thoughts pretty well, so he didn't feel the need to ask anything else. After a long time, she finally smiled and said, "And you're a damn good one, so let's go ahead and get you back."

vvvvvvvvvvvv

Within fifteen minutes, everyone had congregated in the infirmary again, Jacob and Hammond escorting the trunk. Jack had been 'introduced' to everyone again, and General Hammond put a comforting hand on his shoulder. "I'm surprised you're ready to try this so quickly, Jack," he said kindly, glancing at Major Carter. "Major Carter says she offered to fill you in…"

"She told me enough," Jack said simply. "Let's just get on with the show."

"Sir," Janet cut in gently. "If we could spend a little more time interviewing the Colonel, we could really learn a lot about what this device is supposed to do, and maybe even how it specifically removes personal information from the brain but seems to leave some remnants…"

"Janet," Sam objected pointedly.

"I'm sorry, Sam, but I highly doubt we'll have this chance again, it could be valuable information…"

"She has a point, Major," Hammond said, not forgetting that Major Carter herself had been known to push for similar things - one time in particular came to mind, when she'd wanted to keep an active MALP transmission of an SG team being killed so they could witness a black hole's singularity.

O'Neill had, at that time, rightly reminded her that sometimes the pursuit of scientific knowledge was _not _the appropriate priority. That had been a long time ago, and Hammond couldn't help but reflect on it, and the fact that now it was Major Carter making the same argument that her CO had used against her before. Despite what he'd insist if asked, Jack O'Neill had taught every member of his team just as much as they'd ever taught him.

So Hammond decided to trust both of them now, as well. "If Colonel O'Neill feels comfortable proceeding, we'll proceed, Doctor," Hammond told his CMO firmly.

Jack nodded resolutely. As Sam wheeled the trunk, which was now on a wheeled cart, to the side of his bed and started scanning the bottom line of text with some sort of magnification lens, she asked, "Teal'c, where's Danny?"

"He was taking his afternoon nap, so I left him under the supervision of SG-3."

"Oh… wait, you got _all _of SG-3 to watch him sleep?"

"Indeed. They were happy to render assistance."

"I'll bet," Sam said quietly, smiling to herself. "All right, sir, give me your hand." She pressed his hand to the device again, holding her breath hopefully. Nothing happened. He tried again, getting the same lack of response.

"This old trunk is really the thing that did this to me?" Jack asked skeptically.

"I know it sounds ridiculous, but it is," Sam said. "Watch." She ran her finger over the top line where the dial was, and the opposite end opened up.

"Wow."

"Yeah. That's how you got _into _this situation but I thought for sure I could get you both _out…" _

"I'm sure you will," Jack said with a shrug.

"I wish the rest of us were as unconcerned with this situation as you seem to be, Colonel," Janet remarked as she brought him some medicine for his headache.

"I'm concerned," he insisted. "I'm just not _worried. _There's a difference." Then he couldn't resist adding, "Remember?" with a smirk.

Hammond shook his head, chuckling, and said, "All right, people, what's our next step."

Everyone turned to Sam, who ran a hand through her hair, thinking fast. "We could try… I don't know, I just… we assumed it would know… maybe… Dad, what was the stuff about the days? Remember, that passage that didn't make sense…"

"Right, just a minute…" Jacob quickly found the passage she was referencing and said, "It talks about how the days progress normally one after another, dawn to dusk… then it switches, which we're guessing is about reversing the procedure. 'From dusk to dawn is the most dangerous time… something that's fuzzy, and a bunch of other warnings that make no sense… don't forget the earliest dawn, all kinds of stuff. What were these guys amateur poets or something?"

"No," Sam said quietly. "That's it…" she turned to Jack and asked quickly, "Sir, when's your birthday?"

He stared at her for a few moments before tapping his head. "Hello, amnesia check?"

"Right," she said, shaking her head and laughing at her own mistake. She knew his birthday anyway, she had just got a little caught up in the moment. "If we enter your birthday first, _then _enter today's date, I think it might work. I just need translate your Earth birthday to the cycle of the other planet and…"

"Yeah, whatever, just do it."

Sam grabbed the nearest notebook - which was in Teal'c's hands, and said, "Does anybody have a…" She rummaged in her shirt pocket and pulled out a crayon. "Never mind," she said absently, getting to work.

Jack raised both eyebrows in amusement. "Is this normal?" he asked Janet, nodding at Sam, who was muttering to herself and ticking numbers off on her fingers.

"Well, the crayons are new, but other than that, yes."

vvvvvvvvv

A/N: As many of you noted, particularly dietcokechic, this little twist of Jack using the device could easily have become a whole separate story with all sorts of shippery issues, which are obviously touched on here a bit... but I thought under these circumstances it made more sense if Sam just explained the situation as temporary, told him a little, and he just went along with it. It seemed sweeter to just have him pretty much trusting her blindly... plus that would have really taken the focus away from the rest of the story. I hope most of you sort of agree.


	45. Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

A/N: As you can tell, it's definitely starting to wind down. I can't believe I passed 1,000 reviews. Thank you all so much. There are still a few chapters left, but I'll go ahead and tell you all that your wonderful responses and investment with this story have convinced me to do a new little epilogue for it as well.

Ch 45

Sam quickly had the conversion done. "There. It's done. Now we just have to find…" Ignoring the other five people in the room asking each other questions about what exactly she was doing, Sam quickly scanned the trunk again in the area she knew to look until she had found all the proper symbols.

With the General's permission, and everyone watching hopefully, Sam showed Jack which symbols to touch yet again. He entered his birthday first, followed by today's date. One side of the trunk opened quickly, and this time the glowing from within was yellow light rather than white. "I guess that's a good sign," Sam muttered under her breath.

Since she was still extremely close to him as she showed him which microscopic symbols to touch, he was the only one who heard. "You _guess?_" he asked apprehensively.

"I mean… it must be. Since it's the reversal and all."

"Right. So I just crawl in there and come out all old and grey."

"Hopefully," she grinned, patting him on the shoulder optimistically as she got to her feet. "Look, nobody would blame you if you want to take a little more time and let us explain and study the device more." She offered him a hand up, which he considered for a moment before shaking his head.

He waved it away and glanced around the room at everyone. Janet, the doctor, still looked nervous about all of this. The rest just looked concerned in a more professional way. As he studied the three bald men quickly, he cleared his throat and motioned for Sam to come closer again.

She leaned back down, bracing her hands on her knees, and he asked quietly, "I'm not bald too, am I?"

She rolled her eyes and laughed quietly. "No, sir. You still have all your hair, it's just a different color."

"All right then," he said cheerfully, ignoring the 'we are not amused, buddy' looks from the two bald Air Force Officers. Teal'c didn't seem to have taken it personally, but Jack was guessing he was the only one of the three who was bald _voluntarily. _"See you folks in ten years!" He slid into the trunk rather unceremoniously, feet first. It slid closed almost immediately, just as the top of his head cleared the entrance.

Teal'c pulled Sam to her feet by one elbow, standing behind her without touching her. She appreciated the silent support, as she always did. She knew that despite what Jack and everyone else had or would say, she would hold herself solely responsible if something else went wrong with the trunk.

The trunk opened again, by his feet. Janet was about to ask Teal'c to get him out of there, but it proved unnecessary, as the large man had already grabbed hold of each of the Colonel's ankles and dragged him out easily. He was unconscious again. Janet examined him quickly, pronounced everything to be 'normal under the circumstances,' and had Teal'c get him back on the gurney so she could hook him back up to the monitors and do some more tests.

"He appears back to normal, at least," Hammond said, studying the familiar face and form of his 2IC.

"Indeed," Teal'c agreed.

"Let me know when he wakes up, Doctor," Hammond said, nodding to Dr. Fraiser. "Now, if you'll excuse me, my lunch was interrupted. Jacob, care to join me in the commissary?"

"Sure." As he passed her on his way to the door, Jacob squeezed his daughter's shoulder. "Good work Sam."

"Thanks, Dad." She smiled until they left, then glanced back at Jack, still worried something might not be right. "I think," she added.

Janet was about to suggest that Sam go join the two Generals in the commissary when her phone rang. She picked it up, spoke quietly for a few minutes, and hung up, turning to Sam. "You need to get down to the VIP suite. Apparently Danny woke up a little while ago, and he's too much for SG-3."

"I will remain with O'Neill until he awakens," Teal'c said firmly.

"Thanks, Teal'c," Sam called as she hurried off towards the elevator.

As she stepped off the elevator on the VIP suite level, she could hear Danny crying all the way down the long corridor. Hurrying down the hall, she let herself into the room, which was full of Marines all trying to get one crying toddler to stop. Normally, Sam might have been amused at the sight of the Marines - who had a notorious rivalry with O'Neill and the rest of SG-1 by extension - reduced to something closely resembling a nervous wreck, by a two-and-a-half year-old Daniel Jackson. Today was not that day.

She sympathized easily with Danny's frustrated crying and pushed past the three Marines trying to make some sort of dancing stuffed-animal show and took the crying boy from Major Reynolds, who was rocking and bouncing around on his feet, trying to calm Danny down.

"Major Carter, thank God!" Reynolds said gratefully, handing Danny off to her as fast as he could. Danny managed her name in between all the sobbing he was doing as his arms went round her neck and he hid his face in her shirt.

She rubbed his back and kissed his head, talking quietly to him. "It's okay, I know how you feel. We've all had a very stressful day, haven't we?" She smiled at the Marines, who all looked shocked that Danny had stopped screaming instantly. He was still crying and upset, but no longer trying to be as loud as he possibly could. "Thanks, guys. Sorry you had such a rough shift."

"It's okay, it was Alan's fault," Reynolds said, nodding at the unfortunate Captain who was to blame.

Sam looked at him for an explanation. "He was sleeping when Teal'c left him with us but I ah… was examining…"

"Playing," Reynolds corrected.

"Yes sir, playing with that dinosaur robot thing over there and I didn't realize it made noise…"

"Once he woke up and realized you guys were gone and unavailable he was not happy," Reynolds finished.

"So he hasn't had much of a nap."

"Thanks," Sam said. "I think he'll be okay now."

"Good. Is Colonel O'Neill…" Reynolds started to ask.

"He's back to normal, we think, but he's still unconscious. Teal'c is with him. If he wakes up and he's fine… we'll all be our old selves again soon," Sam said, nodding towards Danny.

"That's good news," Reynolds said. "I'll never complain about one of his briefings again, no matter how boring they are, as long as he's not throwing a fit." The rest of his team seconded that and they all hurried towards the door.

Once they were alone, Sam took Danny over to the sink and got him all cleaned up. He was still clingy and sniffly, and looked exhausted. As she wiped up his face gently, she couldn't help it. She started crying too. "Sam?" he asked, looking scared.

She wiped her eyes quickly and said, "I'm okay, Danny, I'm just tired."

"I tired too."

"Yeah. Let's see if we can get you back to sleep, huh? Your nap had a very rude interruption." He was so tired from so much crying that he didn't even object as she got him all tucked in under his dinosaur blanket, on top of the made bed. He hugged Toppy and turned on his side, but he was still recovering from his fit and didn't go right to sleep.

She stretched out next to him and watched his eyelids start to close slowly. When he was too busy falling asleep to notice, she started crying again, and this time didn't bother to stop. Danny would be gone soon. And she knew that it was, on some level, silly to get so upset about it. He would just go back to being the Daniel they'd always known, it wasn't like he was dying or anything.

She also knew though, that when it came time to change him back, she wasn't going to be able to say goodbye to Danny. Not really. She would have to pretend like nothing was happening, or the little boy would pick up on how unhappy and scared she was and stay with her rather than crawl inside the trunk. So she was glad for a few moments alone to commit as much about him as she could to memory, and start saying a quiet, internal goodbye.

"Sam?" Danny asked around his thumb.

"Yeah?"

"Where Dack?"

"He's still in the infirmary sleeping."

"He is hurted?"

"No, sweetie, he's just sleeping. His hair's back to normal now."

"I want to see."

"When you both wake up, you can go see him."

"Noooo, now. I take my nap wiff him. Pease?" Knowing that Danny had been worried about Jack, she figured it would be good for him to see that he was okay, and looked completely as Danny had been used to again.

"Okay. Come on." She scooped him up, blanket, Toppy, and all, hoping to keep him as sleepy as possible, and made her way carefully back to the infirmary. Teal'c raised an eyebrow when they entered but didn't speak. He vacated the chair near O'Neill's bed for them.

Sam gave him a grateful smile and sat down. Danny turned in her lap, trying to lean over and look at Jack. "See? He's as good as new, he's just tired like you."

"Okay," Danny said. "But he not getting Toppy dis time."

Sam smiled as she remembered Danny being very upset to wake up from his nap to find Jack asleep with Toppy. "No, he doesn't need Toppy, you hang onto him." Danny nodded and, satisfied now that he'd seen Jack was okay, snuggled into her lap more comfortably and fell asleep quickly. Sam and Teal'c sat in companionable silence, waiting for their teammates to wake up.

vvvvvvvvvvvvvv

Sam sat up straighter as her CO started to show signs of waking, but with Danny zonked out in her arms she couldn't exactly get up. "Teal'c…" she started.

"I will get Dr. Fraiser," Teal'c said at the same time, already out of his seat and almost to the door.

Jack groaned and tried to swallow, making a face like he was in pain before opening his eyes with obvious effort. He turned his head slightly and quickly settled on her. "Are you okay?" she asked hopefully.

He looked at her carefully for several moments before asking, "Where… where am I?"

She inhaled sharply - she'd done something wrong, she knew it. Now he had no idea who any of them were… he was smiling and his eyes were twinkling. "Gotcha."

"You bastard!" She tried to sound as mad as she felt at the moment, but had a feeling the relief had trumped the anger, even in the swear. She'd get him for that later. "That was _not _funny," she said firmly, wishing she had something handy to throw at him.

Someone cleared their throat in the doorway and Sam turned to see that Teal'c had found everyone, not just Janet.

"Insulting a superior officer, sir, get her," Jack said, waving a tired arm in Sam's general direction.

Hammond chuckled and said, "I didn't hear a thing, Jack, I have no idea what you're talking about. Anybody else?"

"I didn't hear anything," Jacob said quickly.

"Nor did I," Teal'c said.

"Nothing I didn't agree with," Janet added.

Jack tried to glare at them all but he was just too tired and his head hurt way too much. "What the hell is going on anyway? The trunk thing worked, right?"

"It appears to have worked perfectly," Janet said as she leaned over and shined a penlight in his eyes.

He tried to dodge her but she grabbed his chin to keep his head firmly in place. "Doc! My eyes are fine, get away from me!"

"Sounds like him," Janet and General Hammond both commented together.

"Do you remember using the trunk at all, Jack?" Jacob asked.

"It's fuzzy… sort of like a dream, but yeah," he said.

"Good work, Carter."

"Thank you, sir."

"So, looks like Danny boy is up next," Jack said, nodding at the sleeping little boy. "When he wakes up of course."

"Well, now that we know the trunk works, I should be getting back to the Tok'ra. They've been waiting on some intel for a few days now, I should get it to them," Jacob announced. "I'm glad you're okay, Jack."

In light of the recent truce that seemed to exist between all of them, Jack merely smiled and refrained from making a sarcastic comment. "Thanks, Jake. Don't be a stranger."

Everyone else left so that Sam could say goodbye to her dad in relative privacy, although one stern look from Dr. Fraiser had prevented Jack from trying to get out of bed.

"Thanks for helping us, Dad," Sam said, speaking quietly so Danny wouldn't wake.

"Anytime. You did a good job, kid. Figuring out the trunk _and _taking care of that little guy."

Sam glanced down at Danny and smiled. "Thanks, Dad. I'll be sure to tell him how much you helped when he's big again." He hugged her shoulders carefully since she couldn't get up. She hugged him back with the one arm she could get free. "I love you"

"I love you too, Sam." He kissed her forehead and said firmly, "And I am very proud of you. I know your mom would be too." Making sure his last statement wouldn't be overheard, he added, "I _do _want you to be happy, Sam. Whatever that means."

She tried not to look as surprised as she was by that last statement. Sure, after she'd yelled at him for almost ten minutes straight, they'd come to an understanding. But it had been based on the fact that she'd basically told him that there was absolutely zero chance of anything happening between herself and her CO.

It hadn't been a lie - she had never said she wouldn't have _liked _the opportunity, just denied that it existed or was ever likely to. Now, it sounded like he was actually saying he'd be okay with… pretty much everything he'd been freaking out about for most of his trip. Realizing that he was now shaking Jack's hand and about to leave, she shook herself out of her frozen surprise enough to say, "Bye, Dad."

Jack gave her a few minutes to herself after her dad left, then asked, "You okay?"

"Yeah."

"Sure?"

She nodded. Janet and Teal'c returned, Teal'c bearing a tray from the commissary. "Excellent," Jack said upon seeing the tray. "Please, tell me that's for me."

"Indeed," Teal'c said. "Provided Dr. Fraiser gives her permission."

"What do you say, doc?" Jack asked.

"That depends. No nausea with your headache?"

"Nope. And I'm starving, that's a good sign, right?"

"All right, but don't overdo it, sir. Half of that's for Sam."

"I'm okay," Sam said quickly.

"He's zonked, Sam," Janet said after a glance at Danny's face. "You can move him easily, and you missed lunch."

"I'll eat later," she promised.

"Sam…" Janet started.

"Doc," Jack interrupted, shaking his head.

Janet frowned for a moment, then realized Sam wasn't even listening to them anymore anyway, her attention back on Danny. She nodded reluctantly and left SG-1 alone. Teal'c set the tray on Jack's lap after he raised the bed up to a sitting position. "Is there anything else that you require, O'Neill?"

"Nope. Grab a seat, big guy."

"I am afraid I cannot. I have other matters to which I must attend. Please inform me before you convert Daniel Jackson back to his mature body."

"Will do," Jack promised as he picked up his fork.

Teal'c left, leaving Jack to wonder absently what was so important for Teal'c to go do all of a sudden. He shrugged and dug into his lunch eagerly. He made his way halfway through his tray, glancing at Sam every once in a while to make sure she was okay. He knew he'd miss Danny too, and was even sort of thankful for the dull throbbing headache the trunk had left him with - it was an easy distraction from his own feelings.

Finally, not knowing how much longer they'd be left alone, he spoke quietly. "Sam?"

She looked up at him, waiting for him to continue. "I was thinking about how we're going to… do this. I know it's going to be hard but I think we have to try to act as casual as possible when he's interacting with the trunk or he won't go in it."

"I know," she agreed quietly. "It… it doesn't hurt or anything, does it?"

"No," Jack promised. "I mean, my head kind of hurts now, but I'm pretty sure I was unconscious from the second it shut."

"Good." He raised both eyebrows. "I mean, not that you were knocked out… or that your head hurts…"

"Uh-huh. Nice cover there, Major." He swung his legs over the side of his bed and got up to get rid of his tray and test his legs. He really felt fine now, apart from the headache.

He took the tray over to the counter where Janet kept the fun stuff like cotton balls and those really long Q-tips and set it aside, picking up his spoon and attempting to get a look at himself in the upside-down, distorted reflection. His back was to Sam, so he couldn't tell that she was watching him, clearly amused. Finally, she called, "Should we leave you two alone or something?"

"I'm just making sure everything's back to… normal," he said defensively, setting the spoon down.

"If everything looks normal to you in a spoon…" she started.

"Yeah, yeah," he grumbled. He set the spoon down, but she noticed him glancing in the mirror over the sink on his way back to the bed.

"Don't worry, Colonel, we're all happy to have you back to you old self again," she said, unable to resist putting a little bit of emphasis on 'old.'

vvvvvvvvvvvvv


	46. Growing Up Fast

A/N: There really wasn't a lot I could do in the humor department on this one without it not making sense. But it is what it is. The story will end on a good note, I promise. More than one good note actually, now that I'm working on that epilogue...

Ch 46: Growing Up Fast

Danny slept for nearly two hours sleeping in Sam's lap in the infirmary, but to Sam it still wasn't nearly long enough. She knew there was no way she could reasonably ask everyone to hold off on the 'switch' just so she could spend a little more time with Danny, and that when he woke up, that was essentially it. When he started to stir, she shifted his blanket up to shield his face from the infirmary lights, and stroked his hair lightly, hoping he would go back to sleep, or that it would at least slow down the waking-up process.

A week ago - it had really only been about a week, she marveled, although it seemed like much longer - she would never have believed that holding a child you loved you while he slept would never get boring. She had learned a lot about herself from Danny.

Jack watched her trying to prolong Danny's nap time. He knew exactly what she was doing, and why, and didn't blame her. He wouldn't have turned down the chance to cuddle the little guy for a while himself, but he wasn't about to ask her to hand him over, and, since they were on the base, in the infirmary, he figured going over there and wrapping his arms around both of them wouldn't be very well-received. Probably not by Sam under the circumstances, and definitely not by General Hammond.

Just as he was about to decide it was worth a try anyway, Danny woke up. Still snuggled in Sam's lap, he sat upright and turned to Jack, smiling at him. "Hi Dack, you waked up fwom your nap!"

"And so did you."

"Yup," Danny agreed, sliding out of Sam's lap. She let go of him reluctantly, getting up quickly when he immediately ran over to the trunk. "Why you move dis fing?"

Jack glanced at Sam, who was clearly trying to get her emotions in check so they could do what they had to do. Clearing his throat, he got to his feet and went over to Danny. "I was playing with it earlier," he said.

"Wiffout me?"

"Yup. You were busy."

"I can pway wiff it now?"

"Sure. In a few minutes. Come here." He picked Danny up and flipped him upside down, holding him by the waist. Danny let his arms flop towards the ground, giggling.

"Wook Sam wook at me! Dack frow me!"

Jack made a big show of gearing up to toss him on the bed but made sure he landed squarely in the middle and didn't actually throw him hard. Danny bounced up to a sitting position, laughing. "Mon, Sam!"

"Yeah, come on, Sam, I can't tickle this little guy by myself," Jack added.

She gave him a look that plainly said his effort was appreciated, but way too transparent to work, but as Danny continued to laugh and got to his feet on the mattress, leaning into Jack for balance, she accepted the hand anyway. He tugged her from her chair to the bed, whispering, "Get her," to Danny in the process.

Danny, who was fully recharged from his nap, launched himself at Sam, tackling her back into the bed. "Hey, I thought I was supposed to be getting you," she objected, tickling him.

He tried to get her back, dragging Jack back into the game as well when he almost kicked him in the groin. Jack grabbed the little foot just in time and tickled it, and the tickle fight finally started to cheer up everyone.

"Well, you're all obviously awake now," Janet commented, glad to see that not only Danny but Sam was laughing as well. Still, Teal'c had just gone to get the General, and Janet figured that it would be best for all concerned if he didn't witness the amusing spectacle.

"Yup, we all are awake now Doc!" Danny called cheerfully, climbing onto Jack's back like a monkey.

As they smoothed hair and clothes back into place, General Hammond and Teal'c entered. "Well, this place will certainly be much quieter in a little while," General Hammond remarked, sounding like he was going to miss the little guy's presence as well.

Sam swallowed hard and nodded. She knew the General was trying to keep the situation as light as possible - they all were. But as soon as Janet had stepped into the infirmary and spoken, all the instant cheering Jack and Danny had been creating vanished - at least for Sam.

"Sam can I pease pay wiff da twunk now?" Danny called, tilting his head upside down to see her.

She pulled him off of Jack's back and hugged him close. "Sure. I have something neat to show you. It's got tiny little marks on it, we'll look through a special magnifying lens and see them, and you can touch some of them. Does that sound like… like fun?"

"Yeah!" he agreed.

"Uh, Sam, let's get him out of those clothes first," Janet said.

"Good idea." She pulled Danny's shirt over his head. Danny looked a little confused, but he didn't really mind having his clothes removed - it was actually fun to be naked. But he _was _in the infirmary, so he was a little worried that he might be getting shots.

"Dack dunnot wet da doc poke me," he said firmly.

Jack chuckled as he wrapped a blanket around him "All right, don't worry. She won't."

Sam finished helping Danny out of his clothes and took the blanket Janet had offered, wrapping it around him securely. Hopefully it would provide grown-up Daniel some modesty. "Sam show me da twunk now! Pease pwease pease?"

"Okay, just… okay." She took a deep breath and got to her feet, holding Danny in the blanket so that it would stay on.

"Sam," Jack said quietly, turning slightly away from everyone else so that he was blocking their view of her face. "You don't have to do this. Teal'c can show him which ones to push. You don't even have to watch."

"No, it's… it's fine," she said firmly. "I'm fine. Thank you though." She gave a very unconvincing smile and brushed past him to the trunk. Reluctant to let go of Danny, she realized Jack deserved to say goodbye to him too, as much as they could under the circumstances. And she needed at least one free hand to find the right spots on the trunk anyway.

"Here, Danny, go to Jack for a minute while I find the special buttons I wanted to show you."

Jack took the boy, trying to keep the blanket somewhat in place. Danny was looking at Sam with a very thoughtful look for someone so young. Worried that Danny would pick up on her hesitation, he distracted him again by playing peek-a-boo with part of the blanket.

Janet raised an eyebrow at the sight, and turned to Teal'c, who was doing the same. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" she asked the large man stood next to her.

"I believe I am, Dr. Fraiser," Teal'c said.

"What?" Jack asked, looking over at both of them.

"Just thinking about Danny's first day here. He was wrapped up in a blanket then and neither of you wanted anything to do with him."

"Yeah, like you wouldn't have done the same thing if he'd peed on you," Jack said, flattening Danny's hair down - it had static electricity from the blanket.

"Okay," Sam interrupted, sitting back on her heels beside the trunk. "I… I've got it. We're ready."

Jack crouched down next to her, setting Danny on his feet and adjusting the blanket. He kept his other hand from touching any other part of the device and helped keep him still as Sam carefully pressed his tiny fingers to the proper symbols.

She worked quickly, trying to rush through this part as much as possible. She knew once she saw their Daniel back safe and sound it would be easier - she had missed him too, after all. This was the hardest part. It had to be. She paused before the last symbol, glancing quickly at Jack before settling her eyes on Danny again.

Jack's hand landed on her shoulder and he leaned in even closer, ostensibly so he could look at the symbols as well, but when she felt him squeeze her shoulder lightly and rub her shirt with his thumb, she realized he was just using it as an excuse.

"Saaaam," Danny said impatiently, getting squirmy again. He had really thought the trunk would be more fun, but they were making him be awfully still. It was still neat to look at all the funny little drawings though.

Sam let out the breath she'd been holding and nodded, pressing his finger to the final symbol. The device activated again, glowing the same yellow light as before. "Wow!" Danny exclaimed, trying to hurry around to the open side and inspect it.

"Hang on there buddy, you're losing your blanket," Jack said, keeping him in place for a few more moments while he draped it more securely over his shoulders, folding it over so he wouldn't trip. As he fussed with the blanket, he kissed the side of the little boy's head and said quietly, "I love you, Danny."

Danny wasn't interested in exchanging affections at the moment - he wanted to see what was inside that trunk, now! But Sam was surprised that Jack was stalling to have his own moment with Danny - while it had been as private as he could make it under the circumstances, he still had several witnesses. She flashed him a smile and kissed Danny on the cheek and hugged him, echoing Jack's sentiment as well.

"Wet me go, I want to see what's in dere," Danny demanded, squirming. "Sam, wet me go," Danny repeated, having absolutely no idea how unfortunate his choice of words were.

She realized they had no idea how long the trunk might stay active and released him numbly - he was right, she had to let him go.

Danny's eyes widened as he saw the bright light inside, and he said, "Wow, pwetty" before crawling inside. The trunk slid shut, and he was gone. Jack pulled Sam up to her feet and everyone got closer as they waited for the device to open.

After several moments, Sam started to panic. "He's… why hasn't it opened yet, it should… it didn't take this long before."

She reached out to touch the trunk but Jack stopped her, trapping her arms to her sides. "You said that was a bad idea, remember? Nobody else can touch it while there's someone already in it."

"But… he can't have much air in there, it shouldn't… it didn't take this long, I must have… I must have done something wrong…" She turned into him and hugged him tightly, either forgetting to care that they were on base, on duty, or just plain forgetting. Jack glanced at Teal'c, Janet, and General Hammond as he tried to comfort her, but nobody had anything encouraging to say, and everyone was starting to get pretty worried themselves as the seconds ticked by, each one feeling like a minute, and nothing happened.

Sam wasn't crying, but he wished that she would, because she was shaking with the effort of _not _crying, and he was having a vivid flashback to yet another time Daniel had been putting them through this kind of worry - one of the first times actually, when they'd really thought he was dead and she'd proven otherwise by letting herself get hypnotized.

Jack shook his head firmly. "You did it right," he said. "It's just… it's ah…" he tried to think of anything that could explain why it was taking so long. "You'd only set me back a decade, Danny went back longer. So it's just taking longer. Plus I did it all in one day and he's been young for a week. That's… that's all it is. Right?"

"I believe O'Neill is correct," Teal'c said.

"I'm right," Jack muttered to himself, staring over Sam's shoulder at the box and trying to will it to open. "I'm right I'm right I'm right," he repeated under his breath.

After what seemed like forever but was really only ten minutes, the opposite end of the trunk slid open. "Sam, it's open," Janet called immediately, hurrying to the side with Teal'c, who quickly pulled Daniel Jackson out of the trunk, hooking his arms under the younger man's armpits and hauling him out. The blanket was lost in the effort, as it hadn't been around the crawling toddler very securely in the first place.

"He's okay!"

Sam turned quickly at the pronouncement, in time to see a fully grown but extremely naked and unconscious Daniel Jackson being supported by Teal'c. She turned back towards Jack just as quickly, averting her eyes. While she'd gotten used to taking care of Danny as a toddler, she certainly didn't need to see a fully-grown Daniel Jackson's pale, unconscious bum. "Is he really okay, Janet?" she called.

"I think so, Sam, just… give us a second here…" She wrapped another blanket around Daniel's waist quickly, holding it bunched in place. "All right, Teal'c, let's just move him onto the gurney, the nurses can get him into a gown later."

They quickly had Daniel situated on a gurney, and Janet checked all of his vitals. "I need to hook him up to an EEG but I think he's just fine."

At the pronouncement, Jack, Sam, and General Hammond breathed a collective sigh of relief and moved closer to the bed, as they had all been trying to stay out of the doctor's way.

"We'll have to wait for him to wake up to be sure, but these readings match Daniel's normal deep sleep wave patterns. He might take longer to wake up, since he was in there longer and all…" Janet turned to the rest of SG-1 and knew none of them would leave the room until he woke up. "I'll get you some more chairs," she said quietly, squeezing Teal'c's arm on the way out to speak with a nurse and set up some tests.

General Hammond surveyed his flagship team, which for all outward appearances was now back to normal - Daniel Jackson looked as he always did, although Hammond was still unused to seeing the man without his glasses. "Good work, everybody. I know you're going to be here, but you're all officially off-duty. Consider yourselves on stand-down for the next two weeks, I think you've all more than earned yourselves a little down-time."

"Yes, sir," Jack and Sam both answered.

Janet entered with two more chairs, which Teal'c quickly took from her. "Thanks, Teal'c."

"Doctor, let me know when he wakes up," Hammond instructed. He turned back to his team and said what he always said when they came back whole. "Welcome back, SG-1."


	47. Daniel's Debrief

A/N: One more to go after this one in the original story, then the epilogue.

Ch 47: Daniel's Debrief

They sat in silence, waiting for Daniel to wake up, for a long time. Sam leaned forward in her chair with her elbows on her knees and her fingers clasped, watching him closely for signs of waking. The trunk had been removed from the room - it would continue to be deciphered at a slower pace, then the people at Area 51 would probably end up adding it to their collection.

"He looks cold," Sam said suddenly, getting up and grabbing the blanket folded at the foot of Daniel's bed. She spread it over him carefully. When she sat back down, Jack decided he'd try and break some of the tension in the room.

"I don't know, Carter, he still looks cold to me," Jack declared before pulling the diaper bag out from underneath the bed. He made a show of spreading the dinosaur blanket on top of him as well, although since it was meant for a baby it wasn't much bigger than a pillow case. Then he tucked Toppy in with him as well and stepped back to admire his handiwork. He had to admit, it was a pretty amusing sight. Sam shook her head and smiled, looking down at the floor.

Having everyone fussing over his bedcovers woke Daniel up. He groaned and grabbed his head, opened his eyes, and looked around. His vision was blurry because he didn't have his glasses on. When he came face to face with the dinosaur stuffy, he looked so confused that Sam laughed out loud.

He turned quickly to the blurry forms of his friends - Jack and Sam were on one side of his bed, Teal'c on the other. "Hey guys… what did I miss?" he asked, picking up the dinosaur and looking at it curiously. He noticed the baby blanket and said, "Oh no."

"Oh yes. Any idea what you've been up to the past week, Danny boy?" Jack asked as Sam handed Daniel his glasses, which were waiting for him on the bedside table, and sat down on the foot of his bed.

"Uh… not really," Daniel said as he put his glasses on. "I uh… there's some… fuzziness. And my head… hurts."

"Janet will give you something for it," Sam promised, patting his leg through the blankets. "It didn't last very long when J… the Colonel had it."

"O…kay," Daniel said, looking at her in confusion. He'd never heard Sam use that tone of voice on him before - come to think of it, had she ever used that tone of voice with _anyone _before? She sounded like she was reading him a bedtime story or something. And had she almost just called Jack by his first name? Daniel was confused, to say the least.

"It is good to see you well, Daniel Jackson," Teal'c said, definitely the happiest Jaffa Daniel had ever seen.

"Thanks, Teal'c. What's with all this… stuff?"

"Stuff?" Jack demanded. "You'd better apologize or Toppy there will never forgive you. After all you've been through together! Carter, I certainly hope you treated Mr. Buns with more respect than this."

"What the hell are you talking about, Jack?" Daniel asked, looking to Sam for an explanation. "And what on earth is a Mr. Buns?"

"He's a rabbit," Sam said dismissively, as though that answered everything. "Daniel, what's the last thing you remember doing clearly?" Sam asked as Teal'c sent for Dr. Fraiser.

"Uh, let's see… I was working in my lab at night… on that trunk that SG-12 found. I must have triggered something because one side of it just opened, out of nowhere, while I was touching it."

"You don't say," Jack said sarcastically.

"… I slid inside of it to check it out."

"Why?" Jack interrupted.

"What do you mean, why?" Daniel asked, baffled.

They looked at each other like… well, like Jack and Daniel frequently did, Sam thought. As if they operated on such vastly different wavelengths they might as well be different species.

"I mean, why would you crawl inside a trunk?"

"Because… it opened," Daniel stated simply.

Their second staring contest was interrupted by Janet arriving, penlight and all. After giving Daniel another check-up, during which he patiently answered all of her questions, he asked, "So… the trunk did something to me?"

"I'll say," Janet said.

"That was a week ago, Daniel. You don't remember anything after that?" Sam asked.

"Well… I guess I sort of remember feelings. I remember feeling… good. Happy."

Jack snorted. "I'm not surprised. You spent most of the week with your face hidden in Carter's chest."

"What?" Daniel spluttered, while Sam shot Jack an embarrassed and irritated look and Janet scolded, "Sir!"

"Well, he did," Jack said reasonably. "Sit back, Danny boy, let us tell you a story."

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

"Don't take it personally, sir. After all, you've slept through plenty of _his _briefings," Sam said, unable to hide her amusement at the fact that Daniel had fallen back asleep almost immediately after Jack began his story - he'd only got through the most basic facts. Janet was guessing that Jack had been right earlier - he would need a lot more time to recover from his transformation than Jack had.

Speaking with Daniel Jackson, though briefly, had assured Teal'c that he would recovery quickly. Seeing no need for all three of them to continue monitoring him as he slept, Teal'c excused himself. "That guy's hiding something," Jack said thoughtfully as he left.

Sam nodded absently and picked up Daniel's chart, going over it once more, just to be safe. "He's fine, Carter," Jack said, amused.

She'd immediately nominated herself Daniel's Keeper when SG-1 had been formed, and he'd been glad of it. She'd taught Daniel how to shoot and show up on time (mostly) and had a knack for getting him to stop talking just as Jack hit his geek-threshold. That role had dwindled, as Daniel learned how to be part of a first contact unit quickly and gradually acquired better and better field skills… and as the rest of his team grew on Jack's affections, as well. Now, though, Jack wouldn't be all that surprised if Carter was back to playing mother hen to Daniel for quite some time.

"I know," she answered absently, nearly a full minute after he'd spoken. She sat back down next to him and glanced at the notebook in his lap. "What are you doing?"

"I'm making a list of grievances," Jack answered, holding up the paper to show that he had indeed labelled it, 'List of Grievances.' "See, number one is… well, number one. Peeing on me."

"I see."

"Yup. Then on the back is the list of things I'm going to make fun of him for. Sucking his thumb's at the top, along with stripping at every available opportunity. Oh yeah, trying to eat a worm! This is too easy…" Chuckling to himself, he continued adding to both lists, making a show of flipping the pages of the notebook as often as possible as he went from list to list.

"I'll have to be sure to give him some ammunition of his own then," Sam said. "I seem to remember somebody putting on quite a show with some dolls and a miniature stargate."

"Hey, you should be making your own list of grievances _against _him, not helping him. He puked all over you."

"Because _you _were swinging him around in circles after stuffing him full of barbecue!" Sam reminded.

"Oh. Yeah." He gave an apologetic smile and got back to working on his list.

The next time Daniel woke up, Jack was still there, slumped slightly in his chair. Sam was still in her chair as well, but she was asleep. Jack glanced up at Daniel from his notebook and saw that he was awake. He nudged Sam lightly. "He's awake."

She woke quickly, sitting up straight and asking, "How do you feel?"

"Tired," Daniel answered honestly. "Really, really tired. But I want to know more about what happened to me."

"Well, I conveniently have a little list here that should help us out," Jack said, waving his piece of paper.

"Just… quickly, sir, before you start your story again," Sam interrupted. "Daniel, when Colonel O'Neill used the trunk today, he remembered what happened."

"Sort of," Jack said. "Although it's harder to remember now than it was when I first woke up," he realized.

"Really?" Sam asked. "Well, that fits with your description of it as seeming like a dream at least. But Daniel, you don't remember the past week at all?"

"I'm… I'm not sure. I sort of remember feeling small, like you all were so much bigger than me. And I remember being safe and happy, so thank you for that. But I don't really remember specific details. I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry," Sam said with a shrug. "That's probably just a combination of the nature of the device and the nature of the mind of a toddler. Hopefully a complete translation - which I'm sure you'll be an enormous help with once you're feeling better - will clear things up a bit, but I think we've got a good basic understanding of what it does and how it does it."

"Or at least you do," Jack put in. "Now, back to my list. Number One… you peed on me."

"I did not!" Daniel objected, looking at Sam hopefully.

"I'm afraid you did," she confirmed.

"You puked all over Carter too," Jack added. "Got some on me as well on another occasion too, but she got the worst of that department."

"I… well. I'm sorry, guys."

"Speaking of sorry," Sam said, biting her lip. "The ah… second time he was talking about, we were in your office and… well, your Egyptian urn was right there and… well, let's just say it'll never smell the same again."

"Oh, man," Daniel whined.

Jack cleared his throat loudly. "Excuse me kids, I believe we were on _my _list of grievances. Now, the appropriately named Number Two. Danny boy, you made changing a dirty diaper in the men's room at Toys'R'Us into one of the top ten things I hope I _never _have to do again. Number three…"

By the time Jack had finished his list, Daniel was thoroughly embarrassed and truly sorry about how much trouble caring for him had been. Sam felt the need to set the record straight - while she knew Jack would insist vehemently to Daniel that is had been a right pain in the ass, she knew Jack had enjoyed the experience on the whole. "Don't believe the surly-Colonel act, Daniel," she assured him, turning to Jack. "You loved every minute you spent with him and you know it."

Daniel was surprised when Jack didn't outright object to the accusation, just grumbled something unintelligible and flipped his paper over.

Teal'c showed up again halfway through a more detailed account of 'Danny's week.' And he'd brought pictures, which explained what he had been so busy doing all day. "I have gathered all the pictures taken on the various disposable cameras in use by all of us throughout the week. I believe visual representations of the event will facilitate our retelling of events to you, Daniel Jackson."

"Wow, that's a lot of pictures," Daniel commented as Teal'c placed the bag in his lap and Daniel looked inside.

Sam grabbed the first envelope of prints and sat down next to Daniel, who scooted over to give her more room so they could see the pictures together. They spent the next two hours going through all the pictures and describing their contexts to Daniel - who often ended up with three very different accounts of the same picture from Jack, Sam, and Teal'c respectively.

Sam loved looking at the pictures with Daniel and telling him all about how he had been as a toddler, which Daniel loved as well. Having lost his parents so early, he didn't have any 'when you were little…' stories that went beyond his own fuzzy memories. But it did also remind her that Danny was gone… or, to be more specific, just grown-up. And she missed the little guy already.

After a while, Daniel was struggling to stay awake, at which point Janet came in and shooed them all away so he could rest. Sam packed up all the remaining Danny-things into the diaper bag, conveniently 'forgetting' Toppy. She had no doubt that a certain stuffed triceratops would soon be among the clutter of Daniel's office.

As they all filed out the door, Daniel stopped Teal'c, who was last. "Teal'c, wait a minute." Teal'c paused in the doorway, waiting for Sam and Jack to continue without him, and turned back to Daniel.

"What is it, Daniel Jackson?"

"I just wanted to ask… without Jack and Sam here. What exactly is going on between them? I mean, half those pictures were telling a very different story than the ones coming out of their mouths."

"I concur," Teal'c agreed. "I am unsure of any specific changes in the nature of their relationship, however. They are both determined not to let this event alter anything permanently."

"Still?"

Teal'c nodded. "That is my impression from speaking with them separately and observing their behavior when Jacob Carter raised similar concerns."

"Huh. Well. That's… unfortunate. From what I saw in those pictures, they'd be wonderful parents. I mean, not that we didn't know that already, but I don't think Sam ever gave it much thought before."

"I agree. Despite the fact that they continue to further their relationship, as you have said, at the pace of a snail, I do believe that as a two year-old boy, you have managed to make more progress in a matter of days than we have done in the past several years."

"Really?" Daniel asked. Teal'c nodded. "Thanks, Teal'c."

"Sleep well, Daniel Jackson."

vvvvvvvvvvvvvv

Jack arrived alone after Daniel had been awake from his latest nap for only about ten minutes. "Hey, you by yourself?" Jack asked, sounding surprised.

"Yeah," Daniel said, sitting up so he could speak easier. "Janet just left."

"I was expecting Carter to be sitting in here with you again. You ah… might notice her hovering more than usual for a while," he warned.

"Yeah, about that," Daniel said pointedly. "I just wanted to tell you how much I appreciate everything you did for me last week, Jack. I mean, I know you would have done it for any kid, but… it means a lot to me. Thank you."

Jack shrugged. "You'd have done the same for any of us."

"Of course. But I just… I thought maybe having to take care of me might have… caused some additional problems given the whole… thing… with you and Sam."

"There is no 'me and Sam,' Daniel," Jack reminded him.

"Okay, but… I just meant… I'm sorry if I put you in an uncomfortable situation. Teal'c told me about Jacob being here and being… concerned."

"That blabbermouth," Jack muttered. "Look - yeah, some of it was… awkward. But most of it was just fine, so don't worry about it."

"Okay, I won't."

"Good."

"What exactly do you mean 'it was fine?'"

"Daniel…" Jack warned.

"I'm sorry, it just… I saw those pictures Jack. And in a lot of the ones where you or Sam or you and Sam didn't know they were being taken, you guys are happy. Really happy."

"What's your point?"

"I guess… the way I see it, you could either get all sullen and extra-mean while you brood internally over what you guys are missing out on, or you could see it as something you both could have."

Jack snorted. "Right. And since I'm guessing you're not volunteering to let us shrink you again…"

"Well, I assumed you'd figure out a way to make your own kid. I could draw you a diagram…"

"You know, this is why I liked you much better as a toddler."

"Jack, I'm trying to help you. And Sam. I just want you both to be happy."

"I know you do," he said, running a hand through his hair and glancing around the room. "Look. When I've… when I've thought about… in the future, when the Goa'uld are gone or I have to retire or whatever… anyway. It's always been… all or nothing, you know? So yeah, this past week brought up some stuff. But it wasn't anything new."

"I would have assumed that about you," Daniel said, nodding. "But I think Sam deserves to at least know… all that stuff you're hinting at but not really saying. And I don't think that right now she does."

"Oh, come on. How could she not know?"

Daniel shrugged. "She's Sam."

"She didn't think she'd be good with you either," Jack said, thinking out loud. "But that's different, she'd never been around a kid before. I see her every day and she's the smartest person on the planet. She has to know. Either that or she doesn't want to."

Daniel shook his head. "At least make sure you're really both on the same page, Jack. I doubt you've had many conversations with each other even as obfuscated as this one is, so…"

"Dammit Daniel…"

"Jack, don't make me throw a tantrum," Daniel threatened.

Jack chuckled and waved a dismissive hand. "All right, keep your diaper on. I'd better go find her anyway, if she's not in here with you she's probably back at work already."

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv


	48. Welcome Back SG1

A/N: This story was written when I was firm in not ending on a note that contradicted the reality of the show, so some shippers may be disappointed, although I did warn you in the first Author's Note about that. If you look back at the first things I posted, you'll see that I was careful not to create anything that could be considered an 'AU.' I'd even say 'Birthday Traditions' could fit the category as well, although I admit that is a bit of a stretch.

Thanks once again for everyone who has read this story, and taken the time to review. I cannot believe the response this story has got, and I'm glad if it made you laugh.

Ch 48: Welcome Back SG-1

Jack entered the VIP room, expecting to find it empty. He'd not located his 2IC at any of her usual spots, and was widening his search area. She was there, however, moving at twice her usual speed, packing up all of Danny's stuff into a box.

"Want a hand?" he offered, entering cautiously.

"Sir!" she exclaimed, startled by his arrival. She froze with the Mr. Potato Head in one hand and a Nerf ball in the other. "I didn't hear you come in."

"Yeah, where's the fire?"

"Sir?"

"What's your rush? And you're off-duty, you know. You don't have to pack up all this stuff by yourself."

"Most of it's at your house anyway," Sam said. "But General Hammond's going to donate all of it to a children's home so I figured I might as well start gathering it. Daniel doesn't need it anymore."

"Toppy stays here though. It'll be a good prop when I want to torture him," Jack said, stacking up some of the books and adding them to the box.

"Of course. I wouldn't dream of giving away Toppy." She continued packing for a few moments and asked, "Were you looking for me for any particular reason?"

"Yeah, I just wanted to, you know, make sure you're okay…"

Sam wasn't hearing him anymore though. Jack had dumped out Danny's diaper bag - he was planning on making quite a show of returning it to whichever Airman had loaned the vile rabbit-covered thing to them. Preferably in the commissary, at high noon.

But Danny's blanket had been in the diaper bag, and Sam had picked it up to fold it and add it to the pile, but couldn't. Jack watched her holding the blanket. She'd been moving so quickly earlier that the sudden stillness was even more upsetting, although not as upsetting as the look on her face. "Sam…"

"I'm fine," she said quickly, going over to the nightstand where there was another small pile of books. She still had the blanket in her hand. "This is stupid. He's fine. He's back to normal again."

"It's not stupid for you to miss him, it's just… normal. I'd be worried if you didn't."

She glanced at him and wished she hadn't. He looked so sad himself - probably for himself as well, but mostly because she was upset and he didn't know what to do - that she finally just started crying - reluctantly, like she was trying as hard as possible not to. She grabbed the edge of the nightstand and sank down - he thought she was going for the edge of the bed but she slid all the way down to the floor instead, knees tucked up to her chin, her back against the side of the bed.

He shifted on his feet awkwardly, not knowing if she wanted him to give her some space or not. She wasn't exactly inviting him to comfort her, curled up in a tight little ball. He'd always been amazed at how such a tall woman could make herself so small when she wanted to.

He finally groaned and lowered himself to the floor next to her, knees bent and far apart to try to reduce their protests. "You're not making this easy on the old knees you know," he commented.

"Sorry," she mumbled, scooting closer to him. He took that as an invitation and wrapped both arms around her. She hesitated for a second - they were on the base, after all, but she was really too upset to care at the moment. She leaned into his side - it was unlikely anybody would have a reason to stop by the VIP suite anyway - and tried not to lose it completely.

"I'm not going to tell anyone if you want to cry a little, Carter. You obviously need to."

"I just need a minute," she insisted.

He sighed and rubbed her arm, not sure what he should do. Not that he wanted to see her cry, of course, but he had a feeling that the more times she kept suppressing it, the worse it would be in the long run. "Sam, don't do this to yourself. Let it out and move on. Come on, you don't want to wind up like me, do you?"

She meant to laugh at the comment, but it somehow came out as a sob, and it broke the proverbial dam. She let go of her legs to hug Jack instead, and cried for a long time. As she wiped her eyes when she had finally finished, she said, "You're not so bad."

"Huh?" It took Jack a moment to remember the last thing he'd said, and he chuckled. "Oh." He reached up behind them for the tissues on the nightstand - they were leftover from Danny's nighttime runny noses, and tried to balance the box on her knees.

She took it and said quietly, "Thank you… for everything."

"Anytime. You okay now? Really?"

"Yeah. I feel better now, I just… everything happened so fast today and there wasn't time to think…"

"Yeah."

They sat quietly for a few moments while Sam crumpled up the tissues in her hands. "So, why were you looking for me?"

"Oh. Well. I was talking to Daniel and we were talking… obviously. And being Daniel he was asking a lot of questions and since we were…"

"Talking?" Sam guessed.

"Hey, give me a break here."

"Sorry. So, you and Daniel were talking, and there was talking involved…"

"Very funny. Anyway, I just kind of thought… you were right before, everything happened really fast. And this morning, we all woke up late and were rushed. I guess I just wanted to make sure everything was okay… with us."

"Us? Sure, of course. Back to normal, right?" she asked in a falsely cheerful tone.

"Yeah." He hesitated for a second and added carefully, "If that's what you want." She turned to look at him, suddenly serious again, her expression plainly telling him to keep talking. "I mean, when we were in the truck we talked about it but I just wanted to say again that you've more than earned the right to have a life away from the SGC. I mean, not that you didn't always have it but… I know you're indispensable to the program but Hammond would understand if you ever… we all want you to be happy. Me especially."

Sam looked away, suddenly irritated. "That's what my dad said to me too. I would think that you of all people would know that I wouldn't be _happy _if I was full of guilt for making a selfish personal decision that could put the whole program at risk. On an even smaller scale, how do you think I'd feel if I transferred to the labs or something and one of you guys got hurt or even worse off-world? I'd never be able to forgive myself if I thought there was the slightest possibility that me still being with you could have made a difference."

"I know," he said quietly.

"Isn't that how you feel?" she asked, puzzled that he kept bringing it up.

He shrugged. "It's different for me."

"I don't see how," she said frankly.

He looked at her carefully for several moments - so long that it made her uncomfortable. When she looked away, he shook his head in disbelief. Daniel was right - not that Jack would ever admit it to the man. She really had no idea. "It's different for me," he said simply. "Because you are a brilliant, beautiful, relatively young woman that any guy with half a brain would jump at the chance to be with, and I am a grumpy rapidly-aging Colonel very set in my ways."

"You know that's not true. Okay maybe it sort of is, but you're not _really _grumpy most of the time and I'm probably just as set in my ways as you are. There are plenty of…"

"I wasn't fishing for compliments."

"I know, but…"

"Sam. Just trust me that it's different."

"I don't see how… if you'd never want a family after… everything you've been through before, that's perfectly understandable. But when we spoke in the truck you said that wasn't it, so that's the only legitimate reason I can see for why it would be any different for you than it is for m…"

"There's only one person I'd be interested in having any of that with," Jack said plainly, turning to look her in the eye again.

_Well, _he thought after several moments. _I've certainly never seen her eyes quite **that **wide before. _"You're the resident genius, I assumed you knew this already."

"Wh… I… I mean… we really shouldn't be talking about this."

"Do you want to leave the base?"

"No," she admitted. Leaving the conversation dangling now would just drive her insane trying to finish it from both sides in her head.

"Look. I'm not trying to scare you or anything. I just thought you knew all this already. When Daniel suggested to me that you actually didn't, and then I realized he was right - which I hate by the way - I figured you should know."

"Why on earth would you think I knew…"

"I know you remember the zay'tarc detector."

"Of course, but…"

"Well, afterwards, when you said it didn't have to leave the room, I thought we had an… understanding. That anything in that… area… was up to you. It always has been. Look, this doesn't have to change anything if you don't want it to. From my perspective, it really won't. I'm a simple guy, Sam, but I'm not stupid. I know we're both doing exactly what we need to be doing right now. As unfair as it is, we're both needed at this job, probably for a long time yet. I'm okay with that and I know you are too. Neither of us really has a choice at this point as far as that's concerned. So I also know that it would be ridiculous to try to rope you into some sort of long-term commitment in the distant, hypothetical future. Anything could happen to either of us, including you meeting somebody else who could give you an uncomplicated, normal life. I'd hate that, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't glad that that hasn't happened yet, but, well, there it is. The rest is up to you. I'm not going anywhere."

She looked away, brushing away a few tears quickly. "Don't make me cry again. And you're still wrong, by the way."

"To which part of that lengthy confession/monologue are you referring, Major Carter?"

"Your preliminary assertion, Colonel O'Neill," she retorted, picking up on his light tone gratefully. Luckily they had years of practice at balancing the heavy conversations with the light.

"Right. Remind me what that was again?"

"That it's any different for you than it is for me," she said, finally looking him in the eye again.

He let that sink in for a moment, then decided, since they were being uncharacteristically open, that he should make sure she meant what he was hoping she meant. "What exactly are you saying?"

"I'm saying that it's not really different for you because there's nobody else I'd want to… to get a life with either. Hypothetically."

"Yeah?"

"You're surprised?"

"Sort of. Sort of not. I try not to think about it too much, I get… confused. Frustrated."

"Yeah."

They exchanged small smiles and looked away.

"What do we do now?" Sam finally asked.

"Well… Daniel as always was eager to offer some suggestions."

"I'll bet. Let me guess: half-empty, half-full?"

"Pretty much. Either be angry about how unfair all of this is or just… be glad we have something to look forward to I guess. Extra incentive to kick the crap out of the Goa'uld, maybe. Although there's plenty incentive already, but… I guess he's got a point."

"I guess he does," Sam agreed.

They sat quietly for some time, both absorbing the fact that they'd actually finally had that conversation out loud and nothing apocalyptic had happened. Finally, Sam said, "Um, there's something else. I mean since you brought up all that I guess I should…"

"What?"

"I know I was the one saying everything was going back to normal but… I don't know if I can anymore. I mean, I was thinking that before you came in here and now… I'm not talking about anything huge, but… look, we survived being in a really close domestic situation for a week without…"

"Jumping each other?" Jack suggested.

She rolled her eyes and looked away, nudging him. "I _meant _that we've always been very careful to sort of… keep things as entirely professional as we possibly could. And I know that we both needed that for a long time, but we did okay with getting… comfortable… off-duty."

"We did," Jack agreed. "So, you want that to be 'normal' now?"

"Do you think we could?" she asked, genuinely uncertain.

"Well, considering our last two nights and the fact that we were still on our very best professional behavior when we came back to the base , I'd say yes. I think we can handle being Sam and Jack off-base and Colonel and Carter here."

"Me too," she agreed, breaking into a full smile for the first time all day.

"Good. Now. How about hauling your CO off the floor before my butt's as sore as my knees?"

Still smiling, and rolling her eyes, she got to her feet, took his hands, and helped pull him up. One of his knees cracked loudly in the process and she winced at the sound, feeling responsible. He dismissed the look of concern on her face with an air-swat and said, "So… friends?"

"We've always been friends," she argued, taking the hand he offered nevertheless.

"All right then," he said, shaking her hand in a ridiculously formal fashion. "Very friendly friends?"

She laughed. "Okay. Very friendly friends."

"Good."

"But if General Hammond ever asks… let's just stick with 'friends.'"

"I believe General Hammond repeatedly goes out of his way _not _to ask those types of questions," Jack said, picking up the box Sam had packed as she dumped the few remaining loose items into it.

She had the blanket folded over her arm. Jack was glad she was keeping it - Daniel was hanging onto Toppy, it was only fair Sam have something tangible to remember their week by. For Jack's part… well, he had Danny's drawing… and those stickers on his fridge… maybe he wouldn't peel them off after all.

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

The next day, Daniel was released from the infirmary around lunchtime. Although they had been given downtime, both Jack and Sam had remained on the base, sleeping in their respective quarters at night. Both had also snuck into the infirmary to check up on Daniel in the night - they'd bumped into each other in the hallway as Jack was going and Sam was coming.

They'd exchanged sheepish smiles but not bothered trying to deny what they were doing, or deny the reason they were both staying on base, still feeling the need to be close to Daniel, just in case. They knew the streak of over-protectiveness would wear off gradually - well, to its normal level at least; SG-1 had always been a little bit too close by most Air Force standards.

So, although Sam had seen Daniel not too long ago, as he'd been asleep at her last two visits, he hadn't seen her. He knew she was still on the base and decided to try to meet her in her lab before she left for the commissary - he hadn't got a chance to speak to her completely alone yet, as Jack, Teal'c, or Janet had always been in the infirmary with them while he'd been awake.

He carried a plain green gift bag that he was slightly nervous about as he knocked on her open door frame. "Daniel!" She smiled brightly at him in greeting as he entered. "You get Janet to let you out a little early?"

"Yes. Apparently one of the residual effects of my little adventure is that people seem to be afraid I'll burst into tears if I don't get my way. I'm sure it will wear off soon but in the meantime… hey, it got me out of the infirmary half an hour early. I wanted to talk to you."

"Sure, what's up?"

"I know I said it before, but I just wanted to make sure you know how much I appreciate everything you did for me. Even though I can't really remember it, what little I do remember is only good things. I know you all helped take care of me but I know you had the biggest part in it - both in figuring out the trunk and in taking care of me. Saying thank you just doesn't seem like enough."

"Oh, Daniel, you know you don't have to thank me. I know you would have done the same thing for me. We all would, we take care of each other, it's what we do. And anyway, I really should be thanking you. You… you taught me a lot Daniel."

"I ah… I wanted to give you something," Daniel said, holding up the bag he had brought.

Thinking he was going to give her Toppy, and wanting him to keep that as his own memento, she smiled and said, "Daniel, you don't have to. I kept some things already, I have the pictures you gave me, I have the blanket… I even kept all the pieces of paper you practiced writing out our names on."

"Good," he said, smiling. "I'm glad you kept all that, because this isn't even really for you. I'm just giving it to you to keep for a while."

He handed her the bag. Now curious, she peered inside at its contents and teared up again. It was his little SGC 'uniform,' the green cargo pants, little black tee-shirt, and even his little hat. "Keep it for the lucky kid who gets to have you as a mom forever someday."

Sam hugged him with one arm, wiping her eyes with the other. "God, Daniel, quit making me cry. I swear between you and J… Colonel O'Neill…"

"Ah, so you _did _finally talk to J-Jack," Daniel said, hugging her back. "I thought so."

She shoved him lightly. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Uh-huh."

"Shut up. Let's go get some lunch."

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

As Jack headed to the commissary to meet the rest of his team for lunch to celebrate Daniel's release from the infirmary, he couldn't help but be slightly nervous. He hadn't seen Sam yet today, not since they'd bumped into each other in the middle of the night outside the infirmary, and they hadn't spoken then for fear of being discovered and booted out by the night-duty nurses.

He'd slept later than usual in the morning, since they were technically not on duty anymore, and then spent the rest of the morning packing up Danny's stuff at his house and bringing it back for General Hammond. The time apart had given him just enough time to get concerned… not worried, concerned.

The 'plan' they'd come up with the day before sounded great in theory. Sure it wasn't ideal, but under the circumstances it was the best they could hope for, at least for the time being. But he was worried now that they wouldn't be able to pull it off, and that the results from a failed attempt could be devastating, both to their personal relationship and to SG-1 in general. Even with a relaxed or updated definition of 'normal,' what if they couldn't go back to it after all that had happened?

His concerns lessened as he entered the commissary and saw his team sitting at their usual table, looking like they always did. Their trays were full, and he could see one at his spot as well. He sat down, greeting all of them as they chorused greetings back.

He smiled at Sam and she turned her attention to her tray nervously. Daniel nudged her under the table, thinking he was getting away with it unnoticed, and she nudged him back - or maybe kicked him, considering how much he jumped in his chair. So that answered that question then. Daniel knew they'd talked.

Jack looked at Teal'c, at his side. Teal'c raised one eyebrow at him as high as it would go, one side of his mouth lifting in a smile simultaneously. He obviously knew too - Teal'c always knew everything. Everyone looked at each other awkwardly - realizing they all knew that they all knew. It was… very awkward. It felt a lot like elementary school to Jack. That was okay for the moment, but it wasn't a dynamic that could work with a functioning SG-unit long-term

"So," he said, trying to clear the air. "Let's hear them."

"Hear what?" Sam asked, adding an uncertain, somewhat wobbly, "Sir?" They were off-duty, but on the base… it was a tough call.

"Your excuses for why you can't come fishing with me on our two weeks off."

"I did not enjoy fishing, O'Neill. We did not accomplish anything on our last attempt."

"Gee, tell me how you really feel, Teal'c."

"I believe I just did, O'Neill."

"Right."

"And you two?"

Sam and Daniel looked at each other, then looked back at Teal'c. "Well, I…" Sam started.

"I'll go," Daniel said suddenly, surprising all of them.

"Yeah?" Jack asked.

"If everyone else does," Daniel stipulated quickly.

"I will go, but I will not fish while there are mosquitoes out."

"Carter?" Jack asked. "Friendly fishing trip?"

Turning only slightly pink at his choice of words, she poked at her lunch as she thought for a few moments. She wanted to, but she wasn't sure it was a good idea. But if Teal'c and Daniel were there… it could actually be really great. And just what she needed as a transition from the strange (but wonderful) week with Danny to going back to work as usual.

"Can I bring my laptop?"

"Sure," Jack agreed immediately - no need to tell her she wouldn't have a chance in hell of finding an internet connection up there.

"Okay," she finally said. "I'm in."

"Excellent," Jack said in a Mr. Burns impression that was spot-on.

They got back to eating, and he was starting to think everything was going to be okay after all. Then they all reached for the salt at the exact same time, hands colliding. They all pulled their hands away quickly and laughed nervously, all waving each other ahead, nobody wanting to be the first one to take it now. Teal'c finally did, but everything was still… off. Not dangerously off, just… off.

They ate in silence for a few moments, then Daniel started asking about the cabin. It began an overly-formal conversation, for them at least. It was too polite, they were all trying too hard to act like everything was just like always.

Jack was starting to get seriously concerned that their team dynamic was going to be thrown off permanently. Until, as usual, Sam saved the day. Not in the way he was accustomed to, but she inadvertently did something that somehow instantly made everything okay.

As Daniel and Teal'c started discussing the pros and cons of different types of bug spray - apparently the Ancient Egyptians had had their own version, which nobody but Daniel probably knew or cared about - Sam, without thinking, glanced at Daniel's plate as she sprinkled pepper on her vegetables and said, "Daniel, eat your peas."

Daniel had picked up his fork obediently and was already chewing when he suddenly stopped and frowned slightly. "Hey wait, I don't have to…" he mumbled around the mouthful. He swallowed nonetheless, shooting a look at Jack, who was laughing so loudly that the whole commissary was looking at them - the whole commissary frequently ended up looking at them though, so he didn't really mind, especially when the rest of his team joined in. Even Teal'c gave a few deep chuckles.

Oh yeah. They were back to normal. Or better.

vvvvvvvvvvvvvv

The end.


	49. Requisite Shippy Epilogue

A/N: So, it's finally here. I know I promised this a ridiculously long time ago, then I said it wasn't going to happen… but here it is. The main problem with getting an epilogue to this done was that I had two separate takes on it, and was too disappointed with Season 9 to be sufficiently interested in finishing either. To put it simply, I've been 'off' Stargate in general for a while… not to mention I've been busier than I could possibly have imagined just trying to keep up with very mobile baby boys. _But _my Stargate buddy's excitement about the upcoming season has proven contagious enough for me to want to get this done, and I finally decided to take my sister's suggestion and just use BOTH of my plans. So if it bothers you that the epilogue sort of has an epilogue of its own… that would be her doing, not mine. Thank you all so much for your patience with this story and its conclusion - I was completely overwhelmed by the responses this has generated.

Also, since I'd snuck Quarks into an earlier chapter of this story, I had to let Maggie make a brief appearance somewhere too, so I guess I've now done a 'crossover' with one of my own other stories.

Epilogue

_(Sometime in the not-too-post-Season-10 future…)_

"Whatever happened to the trunk?"

"Cassie's still got it, she's painting it."

"What?"

"What?" Hearing how absolutely confused she sounded - which was beyond abnormal for her, because generally speaking _he _was the one who was confused, Jack set the screwdriver in his hand down and looked up from where he was seated on the floor. "What, what?" he repeated.

Sam stared back at him from her chair, forgotten instructions in hand, clearly just as puzzled by his response as he was with her question.

"Cassie has it," she stated, repeating his answer.

"Yeah. You were here when she came and got it, remember? Teal'c and I loaded it into the truck for her and I got a splinter for my trouble. You put a Simpson's Band-Aid on it after you pulled it out, then we…"

Turning slightly pink (although that could very well have been partially due to the fact that it was the middle of an August of record-breaking temperatures and she was now nine days past her due date - the longest nine days of her life, as she was quick to point out at least three times a day), Sam nodded and held up a hand. "I remember _that_. But I wasn't talking about the toy chest. So in case you've also given Cassie the alien trunk that turned Daniel into a toddler several years ago and told her to paint stars on that one as well…"

"Oh," he laughed. _"That _trunk. I don't know, I guess it's still at Area 51. Why on Earth were you thinking about that?"

"I was just wondering if somehow we could use that to speed up this process and get this baby born already," Sam said. She said it lightly, but she was obviously sort of serious at the same time.

Not that he blamed her, Jack thought as he got up off the floor and came over to the large chair, making room for himself where there wasn't much left. "Jack, I'm hot," Sam objected as she made room for him anyway.

"Can't argue with that."

"That's not what I meant," she muttered, trying not to laugh.

"Either way," he said with a shrug, propping his feet up on the ottoman next to hers and getting more comfortably settled. "You've said at least twice today that you can't get any hotter… which I've been saying for years by the way…" the remark earned him a light dig to the ribs. "So what difference does it make?" He kissed her, playing with the damp bits of hair at the base of her neck that had fallen out of her short ponytail and were starting to curl in the heat.

She let the instruction manual she'd been holding fall into her lap and kissed him back, but he only had all of her attention for a few seconds as she inhaled sharply in what he recognized as pain rather than any sort of reaction to his kiss. He pulled away quickly, his hand going to her stomach automatically.

She shook her head, biting her lip. "Leg cramp," she explained, scrunching her face up in pain and trying to reach her calf. Between being past ready to give birth and the way she was wedged into the chair, there was just no way.

Jack swung both her legs up into his lap instead and said, "Which one?"

"That one…" He rubbed the bunched muscles of her calf for a few moments before feeling them start to loosen. "Thank you, that's better."

He nodded and rested a hand on Sam's tummy. "I think we'll just leave the rest of this project to your wonderful uncles."

"If you'd let me hold it in place…" Sam started.

"Not this time, I'm afraid. You're the supervisor. Make us do the manual labor while you've got the symbiote there as an excuse."

She let the 'symbiote' remark pass this time - partly out of gratitude for the impromptu leg massage, partly just because it was too hot for all that at the moment. Speaking of which… "Can you still smell the paint in here?" Jack asked, clearly hoping for a negative response.

"Actually, no, I can't," Sam realized.

"Good. I'll shut the window and let the air conditioning in."

"Wait just a minute," Sam requested, snuggling closer into his side and pressing her cheek into his shoulder. "I'm so comfortable right now."

Since being comfortable was something that was hard to come by these days, he was happy to sit, for the time being, although he thought he might be in danger of melting at any moment.

The reason it was so hot outside was because it was the middle of August in Colorado. But it was still usually nice and cool inside, as it currently was in the rest of the house. But although Jack couldn't smell the paint in the nursery anymore, Sam could. He suspected it was partly heightened senses from the pregnancy, and partly just a little healthy paranoia at what lingering paint fumes might do to the baby. So, the baby's room had the windows open, and the door and air vent firmly shut while it aired out. Which meant that while the rest of the house was an icebox these days, this room was hotter than hell.

It was hot enough to fry an egg on the sidewalk outside - literally. Jack had caught Teal'c testing that theory when he'd heard Jack use the expression the other day. Anyway, it was hot, and to say that Sam was uncomfortable would have been a massive understatement.

In addition to the regular assortment of discomforts that went along with being pregnant, Sam was, for some reason, experiencing everything in extremes, from morning sickness to cramps to insomnia and fatigue… and if there was one thing the two of them had in common it was that neither of them was in danger of winning any sort of 'most patient person of the year' award. So going nine days and counting past her supposed 'due date' had them both acting more like there was an overloading naquada generator in her belly rather than a baby.

They'd had so many false labor scares that the last three times, Jack had to remind himself that asking 'if she was sure this time' as they hurried out to the truck probably wouldn't be a very smart thing to do. The fact that Sam hated to be wrong more than anything in the world just made it that much more frustrating for her. And the last two times, Jack had definitely seen money exchanging hands between Airmen as they'd sheepishly left the infirmary after Dr. Lam assured them that Sam was only experiencing Braxton-Hicks contractions that most women didn't even feel… or simply indigestion.

"What really made you think about the trunk?" Jack asked curiously.

"Oh. When Daniel came over yesterday to keep an eye on me in case I went into labor in the two hours you were in that meeting…"

"Keep you company," Jack corrected. "But go on."

"Potay-to, potah-to. Anyway, he asked me if I still had his outfit, the little SGC uniform he gave to me when he 'grew up' again. It just got me thinking about that whole experience, I guess."

"Speaking of which, remind me to get the baby a baseball cap," Jack said, nodding at the closet, which already held a surprising number of clothes that couldn't be worn for some time, including the little SG-1 uniform in question. "We don't need to be sending any subliminal geek-messages with the floppy boonie hat."

"That hat's adorable. He looked so precious in it," Sam said, smiling fondly at the mental picture.

"I sincerely hope you're talking about the toddler version," he said in a mock-CO voice. "It would have been highly unprofessional for you to be thinking such things about a teammate in the field all those years, Carter."

She laughed and hugged him tighter. "Daniel's always been adorable. And I'm sure you had the occasional unprofessional thought for a teammate in the field yourself."

"Oh yeah, Teal'c's always been irresistible," Jack agreed, making both of them laugh.

After a moment, Sam reluctantly said, "We've still got a lot to do before Teal'c and Daniel get here. And even with your help it'll probably take me ten minutes just to get out of this chair."

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

The ringing of the doorbell that evening was immediately overshadowed by the loud barking that always followed it. Jack went to answer the front door, trying to shush their Golden Retriever in the process as he nudged her out of the way in order to open the door and let Daniel in.

Daniel, as Jack greeted him, responded somewhat distractedly, his attention on the video camera in his hands as he narrated to an imaginary, or future, audience. "And this, as I'm sure you know, is your father… or at least that's what Sam tells us anyway, although the rest of us prefer to pretend he's never so much as touched her…"

Groaning, Jack pulled Daniel inside with a 'friendly' hand on the scruff of his neck. "What the hell are you doing, Spacemonkey?"

"You might want to watch the swearing, Jack. I'm making a video for the baby! Good idea, huh?"

"Splendid. You could have _told_ me."

"How was I supposed to know you'd answer the door without a shirt on and your hair all wet? You _did _invite us over for dinner, remember?"

"Yeah, yeah. Where's Teal'c?"

"He's coming over on his own. He said something about needing to make sure his DVR was set for a 'Bewitched' marathon on TV Land."

"Ah. Why am I not surprised?"

"Where's Sam?"

"She's still…"

"Here, Daniel," Sam interrupted cheerfully, joining them. Daniel hugged her hello as best he could, then held the camera up at her. "What are you doing?" Sam squealed, dodging behind Jack. "I just got out of the shower!"

"He's making a video for the baby," Jack explained.

Softening, Sam said, "That's sweet, Daniel, really, but… you could have given me a little warning! I know I wanted you all here for dinner tonight but I wasn't going to bother with makeup… or shoes."

"You look fantastic, Sam, you're glowing," Daniel assured her, holding the camera up once more.

"Yeah, you try being almost two weeks past your due date during a heat wave; you'll be 'glowing' too," she grumbled.

"I'm going to go order dinner," Jack announced, hurrying off to order the Chinese food they were planning on, and find a shirt to wear.

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

After ordering tons of Chinese food - the doctor's suggestion that spicy foods might help induce labor had so far proven completely ineffective, yet they were still desperate enough to keep trying it, just in case - Jack quickly found Daniel again and insisted that he come help him put together the crib.

"We already did that," Daniel whined.

"Yes, but we put it together wrong. You have to put it up higher till the baby's like four months old. See, bassinet configuration." Jack held up the massive diagrams that showed the various ways the crib could be assembled, and pointed for emphasis.

"Why?" Daniel asked.

"I don't know. Apparently the smaller ones are supposed to be up higher. I have no idea, Daniel, but you're still helping me."

"All right, give me that screwdriver."

As the two of them worked, Daniel kept looking at Jack, who finally couldn't take it anymore. "What?" he demanded.

"You're going to be an amazing father, Jack. I'm really happy for you."

"Thanks," Jack said gruffly, doubling his attention to the assembly job. After a few moments, he added, "Since you're being all… you know. I guess I should… look, we finally agreed on a name, okay?"

Fully aware of how lengthy the name debate had been - everyone had wanted to contribute their own suggestions, and Sam and Jack had both campaigned for support for their favorite names - Daniel was especially eager to hear their final choice. "What?"

"Well we talked about it a lot. Naming him after somebody was… a good idea but it was proving tricky because there are so many men that we'd like to honor, you know? Jacob, George, you, Teal'c… plus Teal'c was tricky because it's not really a normal Earth name… anyway. We kept talking about the pros and cons of naming him after men we knew… then we decided to name him after a boy instead. Well, sort of. Both, actually, but… well, when you shrunk yourself by climbing into that trunk a few years ago, you sort of… made a lot of things seem potentially possible that neither of us had really let ourselves think about too much before. But since you're around all the time now we figured having two Daniels would be really confusing, so we decided on using your middle name, if you don't mind."

"You're going to name your son after _me?_ Jack, I'm… I'm honored. Truly."

"All right, all right," Jack grumbled as Daniel hugged him, clapping him on the shoulder.

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

After finishing the crib assembly project, Jack and Daniel headed back into the den in time to see a sight that, several years ago, would have seemed rather strange to Jack. Teal'c - mighty Jaffa warrior, former First Prime of Apophis - toughest, baddest-ass-in-the-universe Teal'c, was in front of Sam, hunkered down on his knees with his ear, and one massive hand, pressed to 'the bump,' as Jack liked to call the baby when he wasn't calling him 'the symbiote.' It was just one of those sights that should have been very wrong and was instead strangely right.

Daniel turned the video camera back on and pointed it at them discreetly, so that it was several moments before they noticed, and when they did, Sam smiled over at Jack hugely. "Teal'c says the baby's getting ready. Could be real soon."

"What an amazing prediction," Jack said sarcastically as Teal'c got to his feet and came over to greet him. "Predicting that a woman nine days past her due date's going to go into labor soon. You should be a weather man with those skills, T." Jack grinned as he shook the man's hand. "Didn't hear you come in."

"Colonel Carter saw me approaching and answered the door, so I did not need to ring the bell."

"Ah. Well, Danny boy's making home movies already, I'm sure the baby will be amazed by Uncle Teal'c's masterful skills of prognostication."

"Perhaps I could see your camera for a moment, Daniel Jackson," Teal'c said.

"Uh, actually, I think I'd better just hang onto this…" Daniel started.

Soon the two were jokingly dodging round the house, Daniel still shooting everything he could with the camera as Teal'c pursued him and Maggie chased after them both, barking occasionally. As Sam came and stood next to Jack, laughing at the antics of Daniel and Teal'c, his arm went around her automatically.

It occurred to him that while on paper they actually seemed quite normal now - married, house, dog, cat, baby on the way… they still weren't exactly ordinary. Hell, one of their child's godfathers - and godmother too, for that matter, was an alien. And that was really just for starters.

Jack smiled as he remembered how they'd found out Sam was pregnant. His wife had spent two days trying to figure out what was wrong with one of the Atlantean Life Signs Detectors before she finally realized _she_ was the reason it was going all wonky - it was merely picking up more than one "life sign" in her, apparently.

Then, while he supposed many men came home to find their pregnant wives decorating the nursery or knitting or whatever, he'd come home not two days after learning she was pregnant to find her on a ladder in the spare bedroom installing some kind of fiber optic star field ceiling thing. It _was _pretty cool, though, he had to admit… although Sam had refused to install one in their bedroom too.

"Jack? You okay?" Sam asked, interrupting his thoughts.

"Yeah." He smiled and rubbed her back. "Just thinking how lucky I am to have such a weird life."

"Gee, thanks," she said sarcastically as the doorbell rang again.

Knowing it was the dinner and he'd need extra hands to bring it all inside, Jack called a truce between Teal'c and Daniel and enlisted Teal'c's help.

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

After an 'old-fashioned SG-1 dinner,' with the one and only, original SG-1, Sam was feeling much more relaxed than she had been in the last few days. Knowing that Teal'c and Daniel both had to leave early, as they were going off-world just after midnight to accommodate an arrival on a planet that was only tolerable temperature-wise for a very small portion of that planet's 'day,' as soon as dinner's remains were cleared away, Sam returned the video camera to Daniel, having confiscated it shortly after she caught him having way too much fun videotaping her trying to pick up a dropped pair of chopsticks in the kitchen, rather than rushing to her aid immediately.

"Thanks," he said, flipping the screen out and switching it on. "I want everybody to say something to the baby alone, and… you know, Sam, I really think you'll wish later on that you'd let me video tape the birth - the baby's going to want to see it one day…"

"Daniel, for the last time, no! I'm glad you're so gung-ho about the baby, but I really don't think I'm going to want a camera in my face - or in my anything else, for that matter - while I'm in labor! Besides, I don't actually know anyone who _wants _to see themselves being born… it would probably terrify him."

"Okay," Daniel grumbled. "But if you change your mind…"

Sam rolled her eyes. "I'll let you know."

"Good. Er… maybe I should go start with Teal'c."

"Good idea."

She had to smile as she watched Daniel and Teal'c heading off to the baby's room. She truly _was _getting tired of Daniel's repeated offers to 'document the birth,' but she always appreciated his enthusiasm.

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

Everyone recorded their messages for the baby - each unknowingly ending theirs with variations of the same basic request.

For Daniel, it was a polite, "We're all getting really anxious to finally meet you, your mom most of all, so it would be great if you could try to be born within the next day or so…"

Teal'c was predictably more succinct: "Young O'Neill, you have tested your parents' patience long enough."

Sam's was an impatient, "Come ooooooooon, get out of me already," followed by some hasty, less-objectionable sentiments, ending with a request that Daniel edit that first bit out.

As uncharacteristic as her complaint was, Jack's message was even more uncharacteristic. Normally a man of few words, particularly 'on record,' he talked for quite a while before finally concluding with, "I hope you already know how much we all want you. Your mom and I have waited for you for a long time… a lot longer than nine months. So a few more days really isn't a big deal - despite what you may have heard. You just take your time; we'll wait. But when you _are _ready, just… be safe, okay? No scary emergencies or anything, just… try to take it easy on your mom, okay?" He stopped talking, trying to think of something else to say before saying goodbye. Then he shrugged. "Um, I guess that's it, just… see you soon. Right?" He got up, moving half out of frame, then sat back down. "Oh! One more thing! The 'take it easy' thing - don't ever actually _say _that to your mom, okay? She ah… doesn't like that. Okay. That's all. See you soon. You'll be the one naked, screaming, covered in goo; I'll probably be the one trying not to pass out."

After reconvening in the living room for some more family/team bonding, Teal'c and Daniel finally had to return to the base after hugs and prolonged goodbyes were exchanged. Sam had always worried about them going off-world without her, but decided to blame all the extra 'be careful' and 'stay safes' on hormones. Or something. Whatever it was that had suddenly decided both the cat and the dog needed to be thoroughly groomed yesterday.

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

That night, Jack woke up to a familiar tapping on his shoulder.

"Jack, I'm in labor."

His eyes snapped open and he was instantly wide awake. The script was basically the same as all the false labors they'd had, but the tone was completely different. Unlike all their previous mad dashes to the SGC infirmary, she was so calm and still and matter-of-fact about it that he instinctively knew that _she _knew this one wasn't a rehearsal.

But no matter how many times they'd 'rehearsed,' when he knew this was the real deal, he proved to be the one who needed help. As he frantically tried to get them both semi-dressed, get their things, and call the base to have Dr. Lam paged all at once, he ended up spending a frustrating thirty seconds trying to call Dr. Lam on what turned out to be the television remote, and nearly packed Quarks cat into the suitcase, over the cat's loud and spirited objections.

Sam's first real contraction hit amidst the chaos, her surprised scream of pain making something click over in his brain so that he finally got all of his actions choreographed and his mind somewhat focused, and he got them to the car with everything they needed. Except his shoes.

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

Daniel and Teal'c were with Colonel Mitchell and SG-3, sitting under protective solar panels that would keep them cool in the harsh afternoon suns of P73G31. While the career military men were getting impatient, Daniel was barely noticing the heat at the moment, as he was busy translating some fascinating ancient tablets they'd unearthed earlier. He did notice, however, when their radios crackled to life and the MALP relayed an unscheduled contact from the SGC.

"Dr. Jackson, Teal'c, this is General Landry."

"Is it Sam? Is she in labor?" Daniel asked quickly, dropping the heavy stone tablet on his foot without even noticing.

"Actually, she _was _in labor," Landry said. "Carolyn tells me she is now resting peacefully in the infirmary with one big, beautiful, healthy baby boy."

Everyone let out a collective cheer, and some of the Marines started settling up bets. "That's great, General! But… we missed the whole thing?" Daniel couldn't help but ask.

"It all happened very quickly," Landry relayed. "I don't have all the details - they haven't let anybody in to see them yet, but Jack ran up to the control room five minutes ago with the biggest grin I've ever seen on his face, and a message he wanted me to send to you and Teal'c. Is there anybody at the gate?"

"No… it's a hundred and fifty-six degrees…"

"I will retrieve it," Teal'c said, hurrying off towards the gate before anybody could object.

Twenty minutes later, he and Daniel were crowded over his camera to view the message through the LCD display. He pressed Play and Jack's face from the nose down immediately filled the screen. "Okay, I know I'm not the designated A/V boy but I'll give it a shot here," he muttered into the camera, holding it out away from himself so that more of his face was visible. "Hi kids. Sorry you missed the big event, but we still wanted you to be the first ones to see your godson."

After some jerky camera movements, where Jack was clearly moving around, the camera settled on a very tired but happy looking Sam in a bed in the infirmary, with a bundle in a blanket in her arms. "Okay, I think I got it this time," Jack said, prompting Sam to look up and smile at the camera.

"Hi Uncle Teal'c, hi Uncle Daniel!"

Jack and the camera moved closer - Daniel made a mental note to point out the 'zoom' feature to Jack the next time he got the chance - and they could finally see the baby in the blanket, or at least what was visible of him between the blanket and the little blue hat he was wearing. He was still slightly red and scrunched, but both Daniel and Teal'c instantly thought he was the most precious thing they'd ever seen - although Teal'c would never verbalize the word 'precious,' not even now.

"Aww, he's sleeping," Jack said quietly. "You can't see… well, he's got big blue eyes, all his fingers and toes…"

"He's perfect," Sam contributed. "And huge."

"Yeah," Jack agreed. "Eight and a half pounds." Sam tried to stifle a yawn, but didn't pull it off. "We better go," Jack said. "But Nick here just wanted to say hi."

"Come home soon and meet him in person," Sam added.

The camera focused on the baby for another few moments, then Sam and Jack said goodbye to them and the tape ended.

After a few minutes to themselves, the proud godfathers hurried to show off their godson to everyone else. "I'd say that is one lucky baby," Cameron remarked after seeing the tape and seeing how happy Daniel and Teal'c were. Everyone agreed and started talking amongst themselves.

As Daniel safely stored the camera, he couldn't help but think about the fact that, as someone who had once been turned into a toddler for a week and cared for by Sam and Jack, with Teal'c's help, he knew better than anybody else in the universe just how lucky Nicholas O'Neill was.

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

Two years later…

"No way."

"Yes way."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Daniel."

"Absolutely not, Jack."

"Daniel."

"What are you even doing here? Is Sam here too?"

"Yeah, Dr. Lee had something he needed help on and your General wanted to go over something with me so…"

"So you 'dropped in,' to harass me," Daniel finished, referring to Jack's little personal Asgard transporter, which didn't get nearly as much use these days as it had done during that bad period when Jack had been in Washington and Sam had still been on SG-1.

"Added bonus," Jack shrugged. "Come on Daniel. You owe me."

"I owe you? For what?"

"I saved your life," Jack pointed out. "A lot."

Daniel crossed his arms and shook his head.

"I… I… I changed your diapers that one time you got turned into a kid!"

"You use that all the time, Jack," Daniel whined.

"I… I named my son after you!"

Daniel sighed. "Jack, why does it have to be tonight? This weekend Teal'c will be back and we can double team him - the last time I babysat by myself he nearly gave me a heart attack climbing on the bookshelves…"

"He doesn't do that anymore," Jack said dismissively. "And it has to be tonight. Come on, Daniel, it's important."

"Why?"

"Anniversary, okay?"

"Anniv… Jack, you got married in September; it's June."

"Yeah, well, it's not that kind of anniversary."

"What other kind… ew, Jack, I really didn't need to hear that," Daniel complained wearily, resting his head in his hand, elbow propped up on his desk.

"You're the one who asked," Jack said with an unconcerned shrug. "So, is that a yes then?"

"No, it's not a yes! I'm not babysitting without any backup so you can celebrate the anniversary of the first time you and Sam…" he shuddered. "She's like a sister to me, Jack!"

"Daniel."

"Jack."

"Daniel..."

A third voice interrupted their familiar back-and-forth from the hallway. "NICHOLAS CARTER O'NEILL! Get back here; that is NOT a Gameboy, it's a Life Signs Detector and it's very…" Daniel and Jack had moved to the doorway of his lab to watch the scene in the corridor. "…fragile," Sam concluded her statement futilely as the little boy in question tripped over his own feet - or some unseen force lurking beneath the smooth concrete floor - and the detector crashed loudly to the floor, skittering off into a wall and almost certainly breaking.

That wasn't what concerned Sam at the moment however, as her son went tumbling after and immediately started crying. All three adults rushed to him, but Sam reached him first, and had him scooped up, cuddled close, and already calmed down to a sniffle and a little whimper just as Jack and Daniel reached them.

"Is he okay?"

"Yeah, he's just fine, aren't you honey? I think he was mostly just s-c-a-r-e-d."

As Jack rubbed the little boy's back and scanned him for injuries himself, just to reassure himself, Daniel scooped up the Life Signs Detector, which was still in one piece but had a large crack down the display and was now rattling ominously when shook. "I bet you can fix it," he offered, handing it to Sam after Nick let out a pitiful, "Daaaddddy," and was passed to Jack. "And hi, by the way."

"Hi Daniel," she said, hugging him with one arm and pecking his cheek absently as she quickly examined the device before pocketing it for later study. "Sorry about the dramatic entrance."

"No problem," he assured her, turning his attention to his godson. "Hey, Nicky!"

"Falled-down owie Uncle-Danny," Nick informed him.

"I know, I saw that. You're being very brave about it though."

Nick nodded solemnly and rested his cheek on Jack's shoulder with a sleepy yawn. Daniel nodded his head back towards his office and they all filed back inside.

Jack sat down in the chair he always went for in Daniel's office, settling his son sideways in his lap, and reached for the diaper bag he'd shoved under Daniel's desk shortly after arriving. He pulled out Nick's beloved 'bankie,' the blanket that had once-upon-a-time belonged to Daniel, and Nick hugged it to himself eagerly and quickly started falling asleep. "He was up really early this morning and he's late for a nap," Sam explained to Daniel, standing next to the chair they were in and stroking the little boy's hair.

Daniel watched them for a moment, always taken aback at the resemblance between them. He was continually surprised that Jack hadn't insisted on cutting his son's hair yet. Most people, out in public, still thought he was a girl, and Daniel had to admit that the head of wispy platinum curls was probably a major contributing factor to that assumption. But he was just such a beautiful little boy, and Sam was convinced that once the curls were cut off they wouldn't grow back… besides, he might have been mostly Sam on the outside, but it was the general consensus that on the inside he was at least seventy-five percent Jack. Which meant that if the sweet curls, big baby blues, and rosy cheeks threw off some people, the fact that he spent a good portion of his days zooming around making airplane noises should have been plenty indication that he was, in fact, a boy.

As Daniel watched his godson, the normally sparkling, big inquisitive blue eyes were starting to droop closed. They did, however, come to rest on an object on the shelf next to Daniel's desk - an object that was an endless source of contention between Daniel and Nicholas, whenever the little boy was at the SGC. Toppy.

At nine months, Nick had discovered it, and spent the better part of an afternoon with Daniel's stuffed triceratops, the archaeologist's favorite 'souvenir' of his time as a toddler several years ago. Daniel knew it was silly to be so attached to a toy, and if Nick had really, really wanted it he probably would have let him have it… but Sam had luckily intervened and saved Toppy from being adopted.

Jack thought they were being silly, which admittedly Daniel had not helped disprove in whining that he'd already given Nick his old SG uniform AND his blanket, but Sam had stayed on his side, and Toppy had stayed in his office - to be much admired and sought after by Nicholas for years to come. It was probably mostly the novelty of the thing - Nicky was most likely just intrigued that a grown-up, at a grown-up place, had a stuffed animal squirreled away in his office… it was probably like a hidden treasure of sorts to the little guy.

Today though, Nick must have been especially tired, because while his eyes rested on it for a few seconds, they moved right back to Sam and stayed there for the remaining few seconds it took him to fall asleep. After leaning over and kissing the back of her son's head gently, Sam turned to Daniel and asked hopefully,

"So, Daniel, can you baby-sit?"

Before Daniel could answer, Jack said, "He's being stubborn. You've peed on me, Daniel, you owe me."

"So? Your kid's peed on me too, and I'm still not convinced you didn't tell him to do that on purpose!"

"He was four months old, how could I possibly have…"

"Guys," Sam interrupted, putting a hand on Jack's shoulder, trying to keep them from getting loud enough to disturb Nick. "It's all right, Daniel, you don't have to baby-sit if you don't want to. I'm sure I can find somebody else."

"Thanks."

"Nicky will be disappointed though. He asked for his Uncle Daniel specifically, but I'm sure he'll get over it." She smiled sweetly and glanced at her watch. "Jack, aren't you late for your meeting with the General?"

"Yup. Let's go."

"Can we have lunch with you in a little bit, Daniel?" Sam asked hopefully as Jack got to his feet and passed their sleeping son to her carefully.

"Yeah," Daniel sighed. "Fiiiiiiiine, I'll baby-sit. You guys suck," he muttered as Sam grinned and landed a grateful kiss to his cheek. They were an absolutely lethal tag-team. Or maybe Daniel was just an easy target.

"Thanks, Daniel!"

"Yeah, thanks Spacemonkey," Jack called as they left his office.

They grinned at each other as they got onto the elevator. "That was too easy," Jack remarked.

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

That night, one very weary Daniel Jackson flopped down on the sofa in the O'Neill living room after finally getting his godson to go to sleep - only about three hours past his bedtime. Daniel surveyed the wreck that was the living room - and the majority of the rest of the house, for that matter - and had only a moment's guilt about not gathering up the energy to do something about it.

He looked around for the remote, but it was out of reach. With a Herculean effort, he sat up enough to open the drawers of the coffee table, looking for a magazine, journal, or even a partially-finished crossword. He skimmed through the selection for a few moments before finding a photo album at the bottom of the drawer - an album he recognized instantly, because he had one almost exactly like it.

Teal'c had made them shortly after Daniel's adventure as a toddler. Although he had his own, it had been some time since he'd looked through it. He settled back into the couch and started perusing the familiar images. While he had never been able to remember specific details of that chapter of his life, he still remembered how safe, happy, and loved he had felt every time he looked at these pictures.

He made it halfway through the album before Nick started crying through the baby monitor on the end table, and the crying sent the dog, Maggie, running into the living room barking loudly at Daniel, just to make sure he wasn't considering leaving _her_ boy alone and crying in his room.

Daniel sighed and closed the book, setting it down on the coffee table and heading _back _up the stairs once more to take care of the baby. Ah well, he thought. Turnabout was fair play, after all.

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv

The very, very end.


End file.
